Jill Twiss
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jilltwiss.bsky.social
Jill Twiss
@jilltwiss.bsky.social
23K followers 820 following 3K posts
Comedy writer. "Have I Got News For You", "Last Week Tonight", "The Amber Ruffin Show." Author of "A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo" and "The Someone New." Friend to several penguins.
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jilltwiss.bsky.social
Back up to a VERY iffy 235
Hex bar with plates on it
November 19, 2025 at 6:29 PM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
I’m not a lawyer but I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to tell the jury to “vote assuming we actually have a whole bunch more secret evidence”
He noted that during her grand jury presentation she appears to have misrepresented a basic tenet of the law by suggesting that Mr. Comey did not have the right, under the Fifth Amendment, to avoid testifying at his own trial. She also appears to have made another astonishing error, Judge Fitzpatrick said. In his ruling, he pointed out that she told grand jurors that they did not have to rely solely "on the record before them" to return an indictment against Mr. Comey, but instead "could be assured the government had more evidence - perhaps better evidence - that would be presented at trial."
November 17, 2025 at 8:32 PM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
November 14, 2025 at 3:34 PM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
Just found out my loofah did 9/11
New York Times graphic reading “your loofah is probably doing more harm than good”
November 13, 2025 at 6:04 PM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
Genuinely thought this said “The Presidential Waffle House”
Tacky gold lettering that reads “the presidential wall of fame”
November 12, 2025 at 2:42 AM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
225. Body refuses to keep up with my ambitions
Trap bar with 225 measly stupid pounds on it
November 10, 2025 at 6:49 PM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
"DINGLE for CHANCE" written in Zohran Mamdani font
November 8, 2025 at 8:37 PM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
Hi I am dingle by chance
Facebook message reading “hi Jill. I think j you’re very attractive and was wondering if you were dingle by chance”
November 8, 2025 at 6:21 AM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
Furious that once again I have nearly purchased a clothing item that turned out to be for toddlers
A very snazzy white sweater with bright red cherries on it
November 3, 2025 at 12:55 PM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
Update: good but weird!
A white dish of frozen red grapes
October 28, 2025 at 10:52 PM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
Started taking creatine a week ago and back up to 230. Placebo effect? Who cares. But also it makes me feel bloat my and gross. Only 15 pounds left to goal!
Trap bar deadlift record, ending at 230 pounds
October 18, 2025 at 6:06 PM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
Hi what
Headline: “nature’s labubu: why are gen z unboxing conkers?”
October 14, 2025 at 11:58 PM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
Stillllll at 205 post-Covid. Sad! Thank you for your attention to this matter. (Also stopped taking creatine which may be the real culprit)
October 11, 2025 at 6:57 PM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
Back to 205 post-Covid
September 21, 2025 at 6:18 PM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
I choose to believe that this was when the baby learned to fly
A pair of baby shoes, hopefully worn, perched on the edge of a trash can
September 13, 2025 at 4:59 PM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
Even in times of madness, the Roosevelt Island newsletter remains my favorite publication
Strange Vessel Spotted On East River This Morning - Does Anybody Know What It Is?
September 11, 2025 at 1:19 AM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
235. Ten pounds left!! Truly this…might be possible????
August 29, 2025 at 5:40 PM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
230. Horrifying. Gonna go around pulling fire hydrants out of the ground or something
August 24, 2025 at 4:06 PM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
Maybe everyone else saw this yesterday but wow. It feels like the other two candidates are just trying to make sure Mamdani wins
"Mr. Adams responded with props of his own, placing whistles in the chairs reporters were to sit in for the news conference. Asked of their significance, Mr. Adams said they were so that female reporters interviewing Mr. Cuomo could call for help if necessary."
August 23, 2025 at 7:45 PM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
hello and can i offer you a potato chip
August 21, 2025 at 2:09 AM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
fair enough, but I think it literally is a popularity contest?
"why does everyone praising Newsom feel the need to add that they don't especially like him? There's a freaking rapist in the WH and facism is taking root. We need someone with cajones, smarts, and the willingness to harness power. It's not a popularity contest, people"
August 18, 2025 at 12:17 AM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
Welp
August 17, 2025 at 2:32 AM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
225. I want to die maybe.
A hex bar holding so so so many pounds A chart showing lifts from 45 pounds to 225 pounds
August 16, 2025 at 5:03 PM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
Well i, for one, believe IF HE TRIES HARD ENOUGH HE CAN DO IT
"Meteorite that tore through US Skies this summer determined to be older than earth itself, researchers say"
August 11, 2025 at 3:45 AM
jilltwiss.bsky.social
Relatable everyman Andrew Cuomo and his dog spa
"Andrew Cuomo lives in an $8,200-a-month NYC rental -- inside the swanky digs with retro arcade, dog spa"
August 11, 2025 at 12:45 AM