Greg in Maintenance
@samotarski.bsky.social
Pretty sure I saw this on my Bluesky profile
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
We arrive in the future to find it has burnt down. There has been a horrible fire, and the future is gone. All this time, humanity has been struggling to get there for nothing.
"Where do we go instead?" someone asks in desperation.
"The future has burnt down. Where do we go?" everyone is saying.
"Where do we go instead?" someone asks in desperation.
"The future has burnt down. Where do we go?" everyone is saying.
December 18, 2025 at 11:16 AM
We arrive in the future to find it has burnt down. There has been a horrible fire, and the future is gone. All this time, humanity has been struggling to get there for nothing.
"Where do we go instead?" someone asks in desperation.
"The future has burnt down. Where do we go?" everyone is saying.
"Where do we go instead?" someone asks in desperation.
"The future has burnt down. Where do we go?" everyone is saying.
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
I'm finally going to sell my vacuum. It's just gathering dust.
February 2, 2026 at 7:27 PM
I'm finally going to sell my vacuum. It's just gathering dust.
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
reporter: your name is mike johnson
mike johnson: i’ve seen no such report
mike johnson: i’ve seen no such report
February 11, 2026 at 12:47 AM
reporter: your name is mike johnson
mike johnson: i’ve seen no such report
mike johnson: i’ve seen no such report
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
the hoa used grok to try and settle a dispute between neighbors and now they’re both naked while trying to measure each other’s skulls
February 11, 2026 at 1:11 AM
the hoa used grok to try and settle a dispute between neighbors and now they’re both naked while trying to measure each other’s skulls
My idea of romance is being outdoors, deep in the forest, being hunted for sport by women in masks with spears.
February 4, 2026 at 4:40 AM
My idea of romance is being outdoors, deep in the forest, being hunted for sport by women in masks with spears.
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
me, lying on the gurney with both of my arms missing because they were ripped off earlier by a polar bear at the zoo: {trying not to die}
the e.r. doctor: {walks in while looking at my chart} so, what brings you in today?
the e.r. doctor: {walks in while looking at my chart} so, what brings you in today?
January 30, 2026 at 2:27 AM
me, lying on the gurney with both of my arms missing because they were ripped off earlier by a polar bear at the zoo: {trying not to die}
the e.r. doctor: {walks in while looking at my chart} so, what brings you in today?
the e.r. doctor: {walks in while looking at my chart} so, what brings you in today?
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
if you see a sorcerer in the park then you’re in the right park.
January 30, 2026 at 4:31 PM
if you see a sorcerer in the park then you’re in the right park.
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
Pastors working for ICE
Sex workers running mutual aid for immigrants
Which one looks more like Jesus???
Sex workers running mutual aid for immigrants
Which one looks more like Jesus???
January 21, 2026 at 1:50 PM
Pastors working for ICE
Sex workers running mutual aid for immigrants
Which one looks more like Jesus???
Sex workers running mutual aid for immigrants
Which one looks more like Jesus???
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
Mafia goon: Nice house you got here...it'd be a shame if something happened to it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
January 21, 2026 at 2:36 PM
Mafia goon: Nice house you got here...it'd be a shame if something happened to it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
*tv weatherperson in star wars*
the high in outer space today is going be minus 450 degrees & the low is going to be about the same so let’s not forget those pressurized suits. there’s a slight disturbance in the force which is going to cause a delay in the light speed corridor…
the high in outer space today is going be minus 450 degrees & the low is going to be about the same so let’s not forget those pressurized suits. there’s a slight disturbance in the force which is going to cause a delay in the light speed corridor…
January 21, 2026 at 3:07 PM
*tv weatherperson in star wars*
the high in outer space today is going be minus 450 degrees & the low is going to be about the same so let’s not forget those pressurized suits. there’s a slight disturbance in the force which is going to cause a delay in the light speed corridor…
the high in outer space today is going be minus 450 degrees & the low is going to be about the same so let’s not forget those pressurized suits. there’s a slight disturbance in the force which is going to cause a delay in the light speed corridor…
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
i don’t think it’s appropriate that old people are my age
January 19, 2026 at 1:15 PM
i don’t think it’s appropriate that old people are my age
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
one time my uncle drank so much mountain dew his puka shell necklace spawned a second puka shell necklace.
January 19, 2026 at 4:45 PM
one time my uncle drank so much mountain dew his puka shell necklace spawned a second puka shell necklace.
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
the dept of ag vid of milk drinking reads like old footage of the weyland yutani company tryin to feed first gen androids
January 19, 2026 at 2:03 AM
the dept of ag vid of milk drinking reads like old footage of the weyland yutani company tryin to feed first gen androids
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
The company I work for blocked ChatGPT and watching people think in real time is genuinely frightening.
January 14, 2026 at 2:41 AM
The company I work for blocked ChatGPT and watching people think in real time is genuinely frightening.
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
no i’m not “detail oriented” that’s where the devil is
January 7, 2026 at 11:07 PM
no i’m not “detail oriented” that’s where the devil is
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
my coworker: did you get anything fun for christmas?
me: {i look my coworker dead in the eyes} i received the gift of prophecy but was also cursed by god so that my true warnings would never be believed.
me: {i look my coworker dead in the eyes} i received the gift of prophecy but was also cursed by god so that my true warnings would never be believed.
December 27, 2025 at 4:51 PM
my coworker: did you get anything fun for christmas?
me: {i look my coworker dead in the eyes} i received the gift of prophecy but was also cursed by god so that my true warnings would never be believed.
me: {i look my coworker dead in the eyes} i received the gift of prophecy but was also cursed by god so that my true warnings would never be believed.
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
I arrive at the restaurant in my usual blind date attire: leather pants, no shirt, Bane mask
December 29, 2025 at 9:56 PM
I arrive at the restaurant in my usual blind date attire: leather pants, no shirt, Bane mask
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
Wife: he's so quiet, where is his head right now?
Me: I'm a 100% sure that it would be impossible to barbeque a Phoenix
Me: I'm a 100% sure that it would be impossible to barbeque a Phoenix
December 29, 2025 at 6:44 AM
Wife: he's so quiet, where is his head right now?
Me: I'm a 100% sure that it would be impossible to barbeque a Phoenix
Me: I'm a 100% sure that it would be impossible to barbeque a Phoenix
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
If you would prefer to not eat a shipload full of fried snails then you are just eschewing chewing escargot cargo.
October 9, 2025 at 3:24 AM
If you would prefer to not eat a shipload full of fried snails then you are just eschewing chewing escargot cargo.
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
I bet the first guy who threw shit into a fan had no idea what a legacy he would leave behind.
November 17, 2024 at 5:37 PM
I bet the first guy who threw shit into a fan had no idea what a legacy he would leave behind.
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
Santa has returned to his chrysalis, his grim work done. Soon new Santas will emerge from the husk, driven only by their lust for jolliness
December 26, 2025 at 12:29 PM
Santa has returned to his chrysalis, his grim work done. Soon new Santas will emerge from the husk, driven only by their lust for jolliness
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
me & my cat are having a contest to see who can get rescued out of a tree by the fire department the most times.
December 24, 2025 at 6:08 PM
me & my cat are having a contest to see who can get rescued out of a tree by the fire department the most times.
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
dont spit on the ground, the dirt in your yard is slowly developing a taste for humans. thats how sink holes happen.
December 23, 2025 at 12:31 AM
dont spit on the ground, the dirt in your yard is slowly developing a taste for humans. thats how sink holes happen.
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
*Santa & Jesus approach each other in a hallway and Jesus knocks the list out of Santa's hands as they pass*
December 24, 2025 at 8:37 PM
*Santa & Jesus approach each other in a hallway and Jesus knocks the list out of Santa's hands as they pass*
Reposted by Greg in Maintenance
it's christmas eve don't forget to set your santa traps remember the goal is to maim not kill
December 24, 2025 at 10:45 AM
it's christmas eve don't forget to set your santa traps remember the goal is to maim not kill