Ready Salted
@readysalted.bsky.social
I am mostly, if not all, potato.
Don't cry for me, I'm already dead.
Don't cry for me, I'm already dead.
Pinned
Ready Salted
@readysalted.bsky.social
· Aug 25
Forget pumpkin spice, all I want every fall is to accrue the wardrobe of Wendy Torrance. #LifeGoals
Wishing someone in marketing had the stones to provide us with the Tampax & Gushers promo freebie tie in of my dreams.
November 16, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Wishing someone in marketing had the stones to provide us with the Tampax & Gushers promo freebie tie in of my dreams.
Reposted by Ready Salted
sometimes when I'm feeling brave I put my feet in my shoes without checking for spiders first, and I think, "if there was spiders, they wouldn't stand a chance." I think that's me at my most courageous
November 16, 2025 at 2:26 AM
sometimes when I'm feeling brave I put my feet in my shoes without checking for spiders first, and I think, "if there was spiders, they wouldn't stand a chance." I think that's me at my most courageous
I made TWO cakes today
a man wearing a santa hat is saying wow
Alt: Noel Fielding from the Great British Bake Off is wearing a santa hat and saying wow
media.tenor.com
November 16, 2025 at 5:51 AM
I made TWO cakes today
Reposted by Ready Salted
Interviewer: can you explain this gap in your resume?
Me: i could try but life is a mystery
Me: i could try but life is a mystery
November 16, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Interviewer: can you explain this gap in your resume?
Me: i could try but life is a mystery
Me: i could try but life is a mystery
🎶Islands in the stream🎶
🎶That is what we are🎶
🎶That is what we are🎶
November 15, 2025 at 6:33 PM
🎶Islands in the stream🎶
🎶That is what we are🎶
🎶That is what we are🎶
Reposted by Ready Salted
Reposted by Ready Salted
I'm "pinkies up while brushing teeth" fancy
November 14, 2025 at 7:45 PM
I'm "pinkies up while brushing teeth" fancy
Reposted by Ready Salted
Sometimes I forget Righteous Gemstones was a documentary
The app Text With Jesus uses artificial intelligence and chatbots to offer spiritual guidance to users who are looking to connect with a higher power: on.nbc10.com/7XM8xrf
People can text with Jesus on a controversial new app. How does it work?
Artificial intelligence app Text With Jesus lets users chat with biblical figures and it is raising debate over faith and technology.
on.nbc10.com
November 14, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Sometimes I forget Righteous Gemstones was a documentary
Reposted by Ready Salted
Reposted by Ready Salted
I only recognize my neighbours if they have their dogs with them otherwise they look like every other biped to me.
November 14, 2025 at 9:40 PM
I only recognize my neighbours if they have their dogs with them otherwise they look like every other biped to me.
Reposted by Ready Salted
[To the tune of Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison]
🎵Baba Yaga
🎵Walking down the street
🎵Baba Yaga
🎵House with chicken feet
🎵Baba Yaga
🎵Baba Yaga
🎵Walking down the street
🎵Baba Yaga
🎵House with chicken feet
🎵Baba Yaga
November 14, 2025 at 1:24 PM
[To the tune of Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison]
🎵Baba Yaga
🎵Walking down the street
🎵Baba Yaga
🎵House with chicken feet
🎵Baba Yaga
🎵Baba Yaga
🎵Walking down the street
🎵Baba Yaga
🎵House with chicken feet
🎵Baba Yaga
Reposted by Ready Salted
oh wow that’s crazy
oreos with bits of
of oreos. in them
Real Bits of Oreos
oreos with bits of
of oreos. in them
Real Bits of Oreos
November 13, 2025 at 7:04 PM
oh wow that’s crazy
oreos with bits of
of oreos. in them
Real Bits of Oreos
oreos with bits of
of oreos. in them
Real Bits of Oreos
Reposted by Ready Salted
Today is the 9th anniversary of the day Maggie stole an entire pecan pie and got drunk from all the sugar. Happy Purloined Pecan Pie Day from our family to yours!
November 13, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Today is the 9th anniversary of the day Maggie stole an entire pecan pie and got drunk from all the sugar. Happy Purloined Pecan Pie Day from our family to yours!
Cottage pie with leftover shoulder roast and coffee cake for dessert.
November 14, 2025 at 4:48 AM
Cottage pie with leftover shoulder roast and coffee cake for dessert.
Reposted by Ready Salted
We are ten years away from Bart Simpson as the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, and it’s never felt more plausible.
November 13, 2025 at 12:05 AM
We are ten years away from Bart Simpson as the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, and it’s never felt more plausible.
Desperately seeking a mash up of the emergency calls in Die Hard and the emergency calls in Home Alone.
November 13, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Desperately seeking a mash up of the emergency calls in Die Hard and the emergency calls in Home Alone.
Reposted by Ready Salted
What fictional creature/villain traumatized you as a kid?
Art by Stephen Gammell.
Art by Stephen Gammell.
November 12, 2025 at 7:37 PM
What fictional creature/villain traumatized you as a kid?
Art by Stephen Gammell.
Art by Stephen Gammell.
Reposted by Ready Salted
today is finally getting around to cooking all the vegetables day, and a reminder I should get brussels sprouts more often
November 12, 2025 at 7:22 PM
today is finally getting around to cooking all the vegetables day, and a reminder I should get brussels sprouts more often
Reposted by Ready Salted
everyone living around light pollution and clouds right now:
November 12, 2025 at 3:51 AM
everyone living around light pollution and clouds right now:
Reposted by Ready Salted
Reposted by Ready Salted
why are they "trad wives" and not "girls gone laura ingalls wilder"
November 11, 2025 at 4:32 PM
why are they "trad wives" and not "girls gone laura ingalls wilder"
Reposted by Ready Salted
[interrogation room]
good cop: *sets coffee and smokes on table* here you go
suspect: thank you
cat cop: *slowly pushes coffee and smokes off table*
good cop: *sets coffee and smokes on table* here you go
suspect: thank you
cat cop: *slowly pushes coffee and smokes off table*
November 11, 2025 at 6:31 PM
[interrogation room]
good cop: *sets coffee and smokes on table* here you go
suspect: thank you
cat cop: *slowly pushes coffee and smokes off table*
good cop: *sets coffee and smokes on table* here you go
suspect: thank you
cat cop: *slowly pushes coffee and smokes off table*
Reposted by Ready Salted
Me, watching the pilot of PLURIBUS:
November 11, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Me, watching the pilot of PLURIBUS:
Obligatory 'sequinsed' reference.
Available evidence says the microplastics have condensed into sequins in my bloodstream.
November 11, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Obligatory 'sequinsed' reference.
Reposted by Ready Salted
My last word on the matter
November 11, 2025 at 2:27 PM
My last word on the matter