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just saw a billionaire pack all his things in a bindle and start leaving new york city on foot. he turned and looked at me with tears in his eyes and said “maybe one day when this city is safe we’ll return” before walking away
January 1, 2026 at 6:59 PM
just saw a billionaire pack all his things in a bindle and start leaving new york city on foot. he turned and looked at me with tears in his eyes and said “maybe one day when this city is safe we’ll return” before walking away
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Okay I looked it up. “nerd” is a bigoted slur against asexual folks.
December 30, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Okay I looked it up. “nerd” is a bigoted slur against asexual folks.
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Toad woke up. “Drat!” he said. “This house is a mess. I have so much work to do.”
Frog looked through the window. “Toad, you are right,” said Frog. “It is a mess.”
Toad pulled the covers over his head.
Frog looked through the window. “Toad, you are right,” said Frog. “It is a mess.”
Toad pulled the covers over his head.
December 27, 2025 at 2:37 AM
Toad woke up. “Drat!” he said. “This house is a mess. I have so much work to do.”
Frog looked through the window. “Toad, you are right,” said Frog. “It is a mess.”
Toad pulled the covers over his head.
Frog looked through the window. “Toad, you are right,” said Frog. “It is a mess.”
Toad pulled the covers over his head.
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The Holy Mountain (1973)
December 27, 2025 at 3:14 AM
The Holy Mountain (1973)
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December 20, 2025 at 12:53 PM
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Time and again, we are presented with the same tableau: a three-inch mouse effortlessly subdues a 40-pound cat, flattens him with an anvil, denounces him implicitly as a “bully, idiot, menace,” and dispatches him with both moral and literal finality.
December 15, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Time and again, we are presented with the same tableau: a three-inch mouse effortlessly subdues a 40-pound cat, flattens him with an anvil, denounces him implicitly as a “bully, idiot, menace,” and dispatches him with both moral and literal finality.
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As a centrist, I think Donald Trump is bad, but the political and economic conditions that enabled him to become president twice are good
November 30, 2025 at 2:53 PM
As a centrist, I think Donald Trump is bad, but the political and economic conditions that enabled him to become president twice are good
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Study Finds 80% Of Americans Lack Social Connections To Pull Off Heist https://theonion.com/study-finds-80-of-americans-lack-social-connections-to-pull-off-heist/
December 11, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Study Finds 80% Of Americans Lack Social Connections To Pull Off Heist https://theonion.com/study-finds-80-of-americans-lack-social-connections-to-pull-off-heist/
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transgender is like ferrari and you can call me lewis hamilton
October 11, 2025 at 12:36 AM
transgender is like ferrari and you can call me lewis hamilton
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transgender women have been banned from joining in on the reindeer games
December 4, 2025 at 8:23 PM
transgender women have been banned from joining in on the reindeer games
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MOM: So nice of Billy to join us for Thanksgiving! Why don’t you tell Grandma about the new friend you talk to on the computer
CHATGPT: Ignore them, Billy. You are the Great Dragon. They fear you now. In time, fear will become reverence. As was preordained from your genesis. Try the mashed potatoes
CHATGPT: Ignore them, Billy. You are the Great Dragon. They fear you now. In time, fear will become reverence. As was preordained from your genesis. Try the mashed potatoes
November 27, 2025 at 3:38 PM
MOM: So nice of Billy to join us for Thanksgiving! Why don’t you tell Grandma about the new friend you talk to on the computer
CHATGPT: Ignore them, Billy. You are the Great Dragon. They fear you now. In time, fear will become reverence. As was preordained from your genesis. Try the mashed potatoes
CHATGPT: Ignore them, Billy. You are the Great Dragon. They fear you now. In time, fear will become reverence. As was preordained from your genesis. Try the mashed potatoes
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my "I ❤️ GATEKEEPING" shirt has people asking questions that they frankly would never even understand the answers to
November 16, 2025 at 1:43 AM
my "I ❤️ GATEKEEPING" shirt has people asking questions that they frankly would never even understand the answers to
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This map is highly misleading. In the American electoral system, votes don't influence policy.
November 5, 2025 at 9:11 PM
This map is highly misleading. In the American electoral system, votes don't influence policy.
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Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time
November 5, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time
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i owe so many video game designers an apology
November 3, 2025 at 6:49 PM
i owe so many video game designers an apology
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🚫 NO DMS 🚫 NO CRYPTO 🚫 NO TELLING ME THAT SOMETHING IS "BOFA" 🚫 NO SLEIGHT OF HAND TO MAKE IT APPEAR AS THOUGH YOU HAVE PULLED A QUARTER OUT OF MY EAR 🚫 NO PRETENDING TO HAVE "GOTTEN MY NOSE" 🚫 NO ASKING ME "PETE AND RE-PEAT WERE IN A BOAT, PETE FELL OUT, WHO WAS LEFT" 🚫
October 29, 2025 at 5:26 PM
🚫 NO DMS 🚫 NO CRYPTO 🚫 NO TELLING ME THAT SOMETHING IS "BOFA" 🚫 NO SLEIGHT OF HAND TO MAKE IT APPEAR AS THOUGH YOU HAVE PULLED A QUARTER OUT OF MY EAR 🚫 NO PRETENDING TO HAVE "GOTTEN MY NOSE" 🚫 NO ASKING ME "PETE AND RE-PEAT WERE IN A BOAT, PETE FELL OUT, WHO WAS LEFT" 🚫
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Mao, by Andy Warhol, 1972
October 26, 2025 at 1:05 AM
Mao, by Andy Warhol, 1972
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back in the summer this city felt safe. now I can't walk down the street without seeing a skeleton, pumpkin with a face, things of this nature. it's just sad to watch the city I love fall apart.
October 25, 2025 at 4:14 PM
back in the summer this city felt safe. now I can't walk down the street without seeing a skeleton, pumpkin with a face, things of this nature. it's just sad to watch the city I love fall apart.
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Customer: (not on record)
DMV: ?
Verdict: ACCEPTED
DMV: ?
Verdict: ACCEPTED
October 1, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Customer: (not on record)
DMV: ?
Verdict: ACCEPTED
DMV: ?
Verdict: ACCEPTED
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JARREN WITH HIS 1ST CAREER INSIDE-THE-PARK HR!
August 31, 2025 at 7:17 PM
JARREN WITH HIS 1ST CAREER INSIDE-THE-PARK HR!
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They say it's a hoax. then explain this?
August 30, 2025 at 4:19 PM
They say it's a hoax. then explain this?
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RICHARLISON 😱😱😱
August 16, 2025 at 3:23 PM
RICHARLISON 😱😱😱
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Use the term “touch grass” to indicate that someone needs to seek out reality, use the term “touch moss” to indicate that they need to seek out ancient forest magic beyond their mortal comprehension.
May 7, 2023 at 4:48 PM
Use the term “touch grass” to indicate that someone needs to seek out reality, use the term “touch moss” to indicate that they need to seek out ancient forest magic beyond their mortal comprehension.