Call me Marcus
@marcodas146.bsky.social
Trying to amuse myself, again. I have no skills.
I typed things and they ended up there↗️ and down there 👇
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:fqkcrp2ue4el5rzwofujvlxy/feed/aaakpd7pk6goq
I typed things and they ended up there↗️ and down there 👇
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:fqkcrp2ue4el5rzwofujvlxy/feed/aaakpd7pk6goq
Pinned
Call me Marcus
@marcodas146.bsky.social
· Nov 16
I buy ribbed condoms, it makes my balloon Armadillos more realistic.
That's the third time alanis morissette has cancelled a date with me, she's only got one more chance then it's over between us
July 4, 2025 at 8:35 PM
That's the third time alanis morissette has cancelled a date with me, she's only got one more chance then it's over between us
Reposted by Call me Marcus
According to the claw clip that just flew across the room, my hair shall not be restrained.
April 21, 2025 at 1:48 AM
According to the claw clip that just flew across the room, my hair shall not be restrained.
Reposted by Call me Marcus
anyway, wanna get fucked up & go to the aquarium?
April 20, 2025 at 1:22 PM
anyway, wanna get fucked up & go to the aquarium?
Reposted by Call me Marcus
If you hold your ear to a chocolate egg, you can hear the final death screams of General Woundwort as he is torn to pieces by Bob the farm dog.
(niche tweet)
(niche tweet)
April 20, 2025 at 9:40 AM
If you hold your ear to a chocolate egg, you can hear the final death screams of General Woundwort as he is torn to pieces by Bob the farm dog.
(niche tweet)
(niche tweet)
Reposted by Call me Marcus
Don’t thumbs up react me, motherfucker.
April 20, 2025 at 9:44 AM
Don’t thumbs up react me, motherfucker.
Think I missed international give Pam a Chicken nugget day on @pamtoo.bsky.social , so here's my peace offering
youtu.be/OdUmxEtKl90?...
youtu.be/OdUmxEtKl90?...
The Line
YouTube video by Bryan Elijah Smith - Topic
youtu.be
April 20, 2025 at 9:23 AM
Think I missed international give Pam a Chicken nugget day on @pamtoo.bsky.social , so here's my peace offering
youtu.be/OdUmxEtKl90?...
youtu.be/OdUmxEtKl90?...
Reposted by Call me Marcus
Light rain here, however there’s a chance of the Son coming out later.
April 20, 2025 at 7:14 AM
Light rain here, however there’s a chance of the Son coming out later.
Reposted by Call me Marcus
trying to explain to my dog how we all have to wash our dirty hands and he's no exception but he responds with a well choreographed muddy pawed tap dance and now i'm convinced he's right
April 17, 2025 at 1:52 PM
trying to explain to my dog how we all have to wash our dirty hands and he's no exception but he responds with a well choreographed muddy pawed tap dance and now i'm convinced he's right
Reposted by Call me Marcus
"SELF-CARE!" I shout as I throw my fourth Molotov cocktail at the fleet of golf carts.
- me, celebrating the holidays as they're intended.
- me, celebrating the holidays as they're intended.
April 20, 2025 at 5:55 AM
"SELF-CARE!" I shout as I throw my fourth Molotov cocktail at the fleet of golf carts.
- me, celebrating the holidays as they're intended.
- me, celebrating the holidays as they're intended.
Reposted by Call me Marcus
Jesus, watching a rabbit lay eggs: “How can I make this more about Me?”
April 20, 2025 at 5:47 AM
Jesus, watching a rabbit lay eggs: “How can I make this more about Me?”
Reposted by Call me Marcus
They’re offshore drilling your ass on crudesky.
April 19, 2025 at 9:35 PM
They’re offshore drilling your ass on crudesky.
Reposted by Call me Marcus
Mugging people at the duck pond because I can’t afford bread
April 20, 2025 at 3:59 AM
Mugging people at the duck pond because I can’t afford bread
Reposted by Call me Marcus
I greet my loved ones with a kiss so I know whether or not they’re using the chapstick I got them for Christmas
April 20, 2025 at 4:12 AM
I greet my loved ones with a kiss so I know whether or not they’re using the chapstick I got them for Christmas
Reposted by Call me Marcus
Jesus has risen from the gravel covering my high school sports field oh no he's looking right at us run Kevin run
April 20, 2025 at 4:55 AM
Jesus has risen from the gravel covering my high school sports field oh no he's looking right at us run Kevin run
Reposted by Call me Marcus
ace ventura stars notorious rubber faced twat jim carrey who just makes stupid faces & goes "alrighty then" for 2 fucking hours & then he does it in a mask & while installing cable & he even does it while fucking ruining christmas or some shit i don't fucking know - funny if you're a 5 year old ⭐
braveheart is a scottish documentary with mel gibson who pretends not to be a drunk, racist arsehole while running around doing regular scottish shit like not wearing pants & fucking frying stuff & shouting & being really fucking angry at everything or some shit i don't fucking know - fucking grrr ⭐
titanic & kate winslet is on a boat having her tits painted french when the boat crashes & everyone is like fucking screaming & running around & drowning & shit but not kate because kate has a door & she isn't fucking sharing it with nobody or some shit i don't fucking know - fucking door hogger ⭐⭐
April 20, 2025 at 5:29 AM
ace ventura stars notorious rubber faced twat jim carrey who just makes stupid faces & goes "alrighty then" for 2 fucking hours & then he does it in a mask & while installing cable & he even does it while fucking ruining christmas or some shit i don't fucking know - funny if you're a 5 year old ⭐
Reposted by Call me Marcus
The fortune cookie was right, my tires were slashed not two hours later.
April 19, 2025 at 5:10 PM
The fortune cookie was right, my tires were slashed not two hours later.
Reposted by Call me Marcus
If you say "I'm gonna go take a hideout" instead of a nap nobody can say shit to you because holy secret fuck you could be doing anything and you have a place to do it
April 18, 2025 at 9:07 PM
If you say "I'm gonna go take a hideout" instead of a nap nobody can say shit to you because holy secret fuck you could be doing anything and you have a place to do it
Reposted by Call me Marcus
The daily I love you took me five tries today because my starting words are always "does the sincerity of silence mean nothing"
April 13, 2025 at 1:57 PM
The daily I love you took me five tries today because my starting words are always "does the sincerity of silence mean nothing"
Reposted by Call me Marcus
Likes happen in threes. Total.
April 17, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Likes happen in threes. Total.
Reposted by Call me Marcus
I started to post something something blah blah blah then remembered nobody gives a shit
So you're getting this instead
So you're getting this instead
April 19, 2025 at 4:37 PM
I started to post something something blah blah blah then remembered nobody gives a shit
So you're getting this instead
So you're getting this instead
Gonna eat a Costco lasagne, back in 2 hours
April 19, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Gonna eat a Costco lasagne, back in 2 hours
Reposted by Call me Marcus
One time I saw a bald guy shoplifting so I called him 'Lex Looter' lol and then he stopped, gave me a high five and stole my wallet.
April 16, 2025 at 10:19 AM
One time I saw a bald guy shoplifting so I called him 'Lex Looter' lol and then he stopped, gave me a high five and stole my wallet.
Reposted by Call me Marcus
DATE: So tell me something about yourself
ME: I like to call frozen burgers 'brrrgers'
HER: I need to see other people
ME: I like to call frozen burgers 'brrrgers'
HER: I need to see other people
April 18, 2025 at 6:26 PM
DATE: So tell me something about yourself
ME: I like to call frozen burgers 'brrrgers'
HER: I need to see other people
ME: I like to call frozen burgers 'brrrgers'
HER: I need to see other people
Reposted by Call me Marcus
Feet so ugly, you understand why your socks go missing.
April 12, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Feet so ugly, you understand why your socks go missing.
Reposted by Call me Marcus
No matter how hard you try, there's no innocent way to wash an eggplant.
April 19, 2025 at 7:06 AM
No matter how hard you try, there's no innocent way to wash an eggplant.