Toby 🇵🇸
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tobestewart.bsky.social
Toby 🇵🇸
@tobestewart.bsky.social
Somethng s mssng from your lfe

bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajpevonw36e
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If this app doesn’t work I’m going back to ruining my life locally
As a dad, it’s my job to get the lyrics to rock classics slightly wrong
November 10, 2025 at 8:30 PM
The newlyweds next-door are really bad at arguing. They both just keep shouting “YES”
November 10, 2025 at 7:54 AM
I don’t understand why US citizens are arguing with each other, when they could be hunting billionaires
November 9, 2025 at 10:14 AM
If there's one thing I regret then, it’s happened again, I've forgotten how to count
November 9, 2025 at 10:11 AM
Currently considering how much of a 2026 calendar to buy. Don’t forget to haggle
November 9, 2025 at 7:10 AM
My wife and I were going to dig a hole in the garden and throw money into it, but then we thought, “Why not have kids instead?”
November 9, 2025 at 6:01 AM
Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸
My work here is dumb
November 8, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸
Verily say I unto thee, what manner of the fuck
November 4, 2025 at 3:42 AM
Labelling my posts as “deliberate” and “preventable” won’t make me stop
November 8, 2025 at 10:57 AM
Me: “DOES NOT THE BIBLE SAY “BEHOLD! I COME QUICKLY” (Revelation 22:7)?”

Her: “Even so...”
November 8, 2025 at 6:40 AM
Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸
They call her Laura Loomer because of the way she stands over your bed while you're asleep.
November 8, 2025 at 5:28 AM
Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸
Iambic is easily in my top 5, maybe top 10 favorite pentameters
November 8, 2025 at 5:38 AM
Your “suggestion”, that I limit myself to posting punctuation, is hurtful
November 8, 2025 at 6:28 AM
Who was it that said of Wednesday, “They call it ‘Hump Day’ because Odin liked to fuck”? It wasn’t me, and it’s Friday. Wow WHAT was in that flapjack?
November 7, 2025 at 9:29 PM
Now my critics are saying there’s too many of me
November 7, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Until I started dating, I had no idea so many women wanted to be my friends
November 7, 2025 at 4:33 PM
The Mafia is a female led
organisation. You’re thinking of the Mafio
November 7, 2025 at 4:26 PM
The past was a different place (with very poor WiFi)
November 7, 2025 at 6:16 AM
If only we’d harnessed Girl Power back in the 90’s, we wouldn’t be in this mess
November 7, 2025 at 6:14 AM
Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸
In regards to reality? Agnostic.
October 25, 2025 at 2:53 PM
I just want people to be arguing about me long after my timely death
November 6, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸
welcome to Yamaha. do you want a piano or a motorcycle?
November 6, 2025 at 5:27 AM
My schedule would be a lot less hectic if I could scream and nap at the same time
November 6, 2025 at 6:46 AM
I wish people would stop saying this is the best Bluesky account ever! Not everyone has been born yet
November 6, 2025 at 6:44 AM
Confession would be so much quicker if the priest didn't keep retching
November 5, 2025 at 7:36 AM