Toby 🇵🇸
@tobestewart.bsky.social
Somethng s mssng from your lfe
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajpevonw36e
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajpevonw36e
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Toby 🇵🇸
@tobestewart.bsky.social
· Nov 21
If this app doesn’t work I’m going back to ruining my life locally
The inventor of prayer books:
“Not only is prayer free, but people think you're trying to help: win/win”
“Not only is prayer free, but people think you're trying to help: win/win”
November 13, 2025 at 7:28 PM
The inventor of prayer books:
“Not only is prayer free, but people think you're trying to help: win/win”
“Not only is prayer free, but people think you're trying to help: win/win”
The vicar says he knows I’m singing my tweets
November 13, 2025 at 6:57 PM
The vicar says he knows I’m singing my tweets
Me: *waking up*
Sir David Attenborough, filming from my wardrobe: “Nobody knows why the adult males live so long”
Sir David Attenborough, filming from my wardrobe: “Nobody knows why the adult males live so long”
November 13, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Me: *waking up*
Sir David Attenborough, filming from my wardrobe: “Nobody knows why the adult males live so long”
Sir David Attenborough, filming from my wardrobe: “Nobody knows why the adult males live so long”
Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸
when people say what if there are prominent dems in the epstein files
November 12, 2025 at 10:37 PM
when people say what if there are prominent dems in the epstein files
The Father: “I”
The Son: “Am”
The Holy Ghost: “The”
The Father “One”
The Son: “True”
The Holy Ghost: “God”
Allah: “You guys crack me up!”
The Son: “Am”
The Holy Ghost: “The”
The Father “One”
The Son: “True”
The Holy Ghost: “God”
Allah: “You guys crack me up!”
November 12, 2025 at 9:44 PM
The Father: “I”
The Son: “Am”
The Holy Ghost: “The”
The Father “One”
The Son: “True”
The Holy Ghost: “God”
Allah: “You guys crack me up!”
The Son: “Am”
The Holy Ghost: “The”
The Father “One”
The Son: “True”
The Holy Ghost: “God”
Allah: “You guys crack me up!”
Do NOT be true to yourself. The truth hurts
November 12, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Do NOT be true to yourself. The truth hurts
Yo @revatlarge.bsky.social! I’m not sure how long you’ve got, so I’m typing this quickly
November 12, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Yo @revatlarge.bsky.social! I’m not sure how long you’ve got, so I’m typing this quickly
STAND BACK! My pithy wit will protect us!
November 12, 2025 at 6:27 PM
STAND BACK! My pithy wit will protect us!
People seem really nice until they get to know me
November 12, 2025 at 5:40 PM
People seem really nice until they get to know me
Now my critics are complaining my plans to take a break from social media don’t go far enough
November 12, 2025 at 6:46 AM
Now my critics are complaining my plans to take a break from social media don’t go far enough
As a dad, it’s my job to get the lyrics to rock classics slightly wrong
November 10, 2025 at 8:30 PM
As a dad, it’s my job to get the lyrics to rock classics slightly wrong
The newlyweds next-door are really bad at arguing. They both just keep shouting “YES”
November 10, 2025 at 7:54 AM
The newlyweds next-door are really bad at arguing. They both just keep shouting “YES”
I don’t understand why US citizens are arguing with each other, when they could be hunting billionaires
November 9, 2025 at 10:14 AM
I don’t understand why US citizens are arguing with each other, when they could be hunting billionaires
If there's one thing I regret then, it’s happened again, I've forgotten how to count
November 9, 2025 at 10:11 AM
If there's one thing I regret then, it’s happened again, I've forgotten how to count
Currently considering how much of a 2026 calendar to buy. Don’t forget to haggle
November 9, 2025 at 7:10 AM
Currently considering how much of a 2026 calendar to buy. Don’t forget to haggle
My wife and I were going to dig a hole in the garden and throw money into it, but then we thought, “Why not have kids instead?”
November 9, 2025 at 6:01 AM
My wife and I were going to dig a hole in the garden and throw money into it, but then we thought, “Why not have kids instead?”
Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸
Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸
Verily say I unto thee, what manner of the fuck
November 4, 2025 at 3:42 AM
Verily say I unto thee, what manner of the fuck
Labelling my posts as “deliberate” and “preventable” won’t make me stop
November 8, 2025 at 10:57 AM
Labelling my posts as “deliberate” and “preventable” won’t make me stop
Me: “DOES NOT THE BIBLE SAY “BEHOLD! I COME QUICKLY” (Revelation 22:7)?”
Her: “Even so...”
Her: “Even so...”
November 8, 2025 at 6:40 AM
Me: “DOES NOT THE BIBLE SAY “BEHOLD! I COME QUICKLY” (Revelation 22:7)?”
Her: “Even so...”
Her: “Even so...”
Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸
They call her Laura Loomer because of the way she stands over your bed while you're asleep.
November 8, 2025 at 5:28 AM
They call her Laura Loomer because of the way she stands over your bed while you're asleep.
Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸
Iambic is easily in my top 5, maybe top 10 favorite pentameters
November 8, 2025 at 5:38 AM
Iambic is easily in my top 5, maybe top 10 favorite pentameters
Your “suggestion”, that I limit myself to posting punctuation, is hurtful
November 8, 2025 at 6:28 AM
Your “suggestion”, that I limit myself to posting punctuation, is hurtful
Who was it that said of Wednesday, “They call it ‘Hump Day’ because Odin liked to fuck”? It wasn’t me, and it’s Friday. Wow WHAT was in that flapjack?
November 7, 2025 at 9:29 PM
Who was it that said of Wednesday, “They call it ‘Hump Day’ because Odin liked to fuck”? It wasn’t me, and it’s Friday. Wow WHAT was in that flapjack?
Now my critics are saying there’s too many of me
November 7, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Now my critics are saying there’s too many of me