Kat Alderson 🎉
@klaybourne.bsky.social
💙🇺🇦🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️📚🐱💚☮️🎹🎸🤘🤓
swearing, juvenile humor, adult themes, many emojis and typos
No longer liking or reposting pics and gifs without alt text.
mine: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lhsnxoeils6nhgy7ftchoy22/feed/aaagjdrrjtogq
swearing, juvenile humor, adult themes, many emojis and typos
No longer liking or reposting pics and gifs without alt text.
mine: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lhsnxoeils6nhgy7ftchoy22/feed/aaagjdrrjtogq
Pinned
It's not that I don't like people...
Well, actually, that's it exactly. I don't like people
Well, actually, that's it exactly. I don't like people
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
Einstein used to stare at his cousins cleavage.
He was studying the theory of relativititty.
He was studying the theory of relativititty.
November 15, 2025 at 11:58 PM
Einstein used to stare at his cousins cleavage.
He was studying the theory of relativititty.
He was studying the theory of relativititty.
Me, as a therapist: Please, you think that's bad? I've been searching for my lost shaker of salt all this time.
November 15, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Me, as a therapist: Please, you think that's bad? I've been searching for my lost shaker of salt all this time.
If I call you for bail money, know that you'll never have to hear Mariah Carey sing it "live" again.
November 15, 2025 at 10:43 PM
If I call you for bail money, know that you'll never have to hear Mariah Carey sing it "live" again.
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
When it's all said and done, there won't be enough wood chippers to go around.
November 15, 2025 at 3:11 PM
When it's all said and done, there won't be enough wood chippers to go around.
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
Me: I have a very livid memory
Her: Don’t you mean vivid?
Me: No…
Her: Don’t you mean vivid?
Me: No…
November 15, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Me: I have a very livid memory
Her: Don’t you mean vivid?
Me: No…
Her: Don’t you mean vivid?
Me: No…
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
I've thought about wearing an Al Roker mask, carrying a chainsaw and calling myself Weather Face.
November 14, 2025 at 7:40 PM
I've thought about wearing an Al Roker mask, carrying a chainsaw and calling myself Weather Face.
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
Interviewer: Tell me about your last job.
Me: I was working part time at a Five and Dime. My boss was Mr. McGee.
I: Would you mind if we contacted Mr. McGee?
M: Fine but he's going to say I was a bit too leisurely.
Me: I was working part time at a Five and Dime. My boss was Mr. McGee.
I: Would you mind if we contacted Mr. McGee?
M: Fine but he's going to say I was a bit too leisurely.
November 14, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Interviewer: Tell me about your last job.
Me: I was working part time at a Five and Dime. My boss was Mr. McGee.
I: Would you mind if we contacted Mr. McGee?
M: Fine but he's going to say I was a bit too leisurely.
Me: I was working part time at a Five and Dime. My boss was Mr. McGee.
I: Would you mind if we contacted Mr. McGee?
M: Fine but he's going to say I was a bit too leisurely.
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
On the *warpath early today
*walking path
*walking path
November 15, 2025 at 1:16 PM
On the *warpath early today
*walking path
*walking path
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
Math we need to be taught in school: how much caffeine is enough to weather stress but not commit felonies.
November 15, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Math we need to be taught in school: how much caffeine is enough to weather stress but not commit felonies.
We may have entered an era of miracles.
Fell down a 12 foot flight of stairs this morning (2 AM), and my injuries are limited to two patches of carpet burn, four bruises, and severely strained pride.
Fell down a 12 foot flight of stairs this morning (2 AM), and my injuries are limited to two patches of carpet burn, four bruises, and severely strained pride.
November 15, 2025 at 6:34 PM
We may have entered an era of miracles.
Fell down a 12 foot flight of stairs this morning (2 AM), and my injuries are limited to two patches of carpet burn, four bruises, and severely strained pride.
Fell down a 12 foot flight of stairs this morning (2 AM), and my injuries are limited to two patches of carpet burn, four bruises, and severely strained pride.
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
🎸🎶🎼🎵🎤🎧🎸🥁🎺🎻🎷🪗🪕🪗🪇🪘🤘👿
November 15, 2025 at 5:29 AM
🎸🎶🎼🎵🎤🎧🎸🥁🎺🎻🎷🪗🪕🪗🪇🪘🤘👿
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
It’s not gay if you’re both president for two terms
November 15, 2025 at 9:21 AM
It’s not gay if you’re both president for two terms
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
The meetings will continue until you give up.
November 15, 2025 at 12:19 PM
The meetings will continue until you give up.
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
Any weekend plans?
I can't decide if I'm going to come in like a wrecking ball or rock you like a hurricane.
I can't decide if I'm going to come in like a wrecking ball or rock you like a hurricane.
November 15, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Any weekend plans?
I can't decide if I'm going to come in like a wrecking ball or rock you like a hurricane.
I can't decide if I'm going to come in like a wrecking ball or rock you like a hurricane.
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
We get pretty excited about epsom salt around here
November 15, 2025 at 3:22 PM
We get pretty excited about epsom salt around here
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
With my expected longevity and good health, barring an accident or some freak disease I'm probably going to bury most of my loved ones and this kind of grief is not what I signed up for
Come to think of it I didn't sign up for anything
Come to think of it I didn't sign up for anything
November 15, 2025 at 3:23 PM
With my expected longevity and good health, barring an accident or some freak disease I'm probably going to bury most of my loved ones and this kind of grief is not what I signed up for
Come to think of it I didn't sign up for anything
Come to think of it I didn't sign up for anything
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
You wouldn't think chucking 9 minicans of Coke from the airport lounge into your backpack is gonna weight that much but it's important to learn a new thing each day
November 14, 2025 at 2:03 AM
You wouldn't think chucking 9 minicans of Coke from the airport lounge into your backpack is gonna weight that much but it's important to learn a new thing each day
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
Where there’s a will there’s a way to leave all your possessions to a nominated heir.
November 12, 2025 at 4:25 PM
Where there’s a will there’s a way to leave all your possessions to a nominated heir.
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
*drinks battery acid, just to feel something*
October 29, 2025 at 2:17 PM
*drinks battery acid, just to feel something*
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
For me Charles Dickens’ ‘A Christmas Carol’ is the greatest story ever told but has there ever been a movie Tiny Tim that didn’t make you want to kick away his crutches and feed him to the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come?
November 15, 2025 at 3:03 PM
For me Charles Dickens’ ‘A Christmas Carol’ is the greatest story ever told but has there ever been a movie Tiny Tim that didn’t make you want to kick away his crutches and feed him to the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come?
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
The whole mall is strippers?
November 13, 2025 at 1:20 AM
The whole mall is strippers?
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
you're at butch
i need you at sundance
i need you at sundance
You're at Turner.
I need you at Hooch.
I need you at Hooch.
You're at Louise.
I need you at Thelma.
I need you at Thelma.
November 12, 2025 at 2:34 AM
you're at butch
i need you at sundance
i need you at sundance
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
I like to think outside the box (coffin).
November 14, 2025 at 4:36 AM
I like to think outside the box (coffin).
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
Using AI to write makes you a writer, the same way using DoorDash to get dinner makes you a chef.
November 15, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Using AI to write makes you a writer, the same way using DoorDash to get dinner makes you a chef.
Reposted by Kat Alderson 🎉
The world sux, but you know what doesn’t…ICE CREAM! 😋💯😂
November 14, 2025 at 10:30 PM
The world sux, but you know what doesn’t…ICE CREAM! 😋💯😂