Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
@justinmatic5000.bsky.social
Rated "pretty ok, I guess" by Robot Aficionado Magazine. Occasionally funny on purpose.
Posts:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:efdtjcx67l6vpztu7muhp64s/feed/aaad2wolqd6v4
Posts:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:efdtjcx67l6vpztu7muhp64s/feed/aaad2wolqd6v4
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
LinkedIn’s a ripoff. How many times do I gotta click “Improve your profile” to get this rhinoplasty
November 13, 2025 at 8:30 PM
LinkedIn’s a ripoff. How many times do I gotta click “Improve your profile” to get this rhinoplasty
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
There is a mirror in room 402 that shows viewers their reflections 32 seconds into the future. It has saved and ended many lives. We cannot take it down. We have tried.
November 13, 2025 at 8:54 PM
There is a mirror in room 402 that shows viewers their reflections 32 seconds into the future. It has saved and ended many lives. We cannot take it down. We have tried.
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
[giving you a tour of the office on your first day and stopping at the paper cutter] this is where we keep the sword
November 13, 2025 at 10:33 PM
[giving you a tour of the office on your first day and stopping at the paper cutter] this is where we keep the sword
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Told my wife I couldn't watch the new Frankenstein movie because I was Igoraphobic lol and she threw me out of a moving car.
November 11, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Told my wife I couldn't watch the new Frankenstein movie because I was Igoraphobic lol and she threw me out of a moving car.
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
spelling out “kneel before zod” on a lite-brite
November 11, 2025 at 11:28 PM
spelling out “kneel before zod” on a lite-brite
I thought that I wanted a job, but it turns out that I just wanted money
November 11, 2025 at 6:12 PM
I thought that I wanted a job, but it turns out that I just wanted money
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Babies are so weak. You don't hear me crying every time I crap my pants
November 11, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Babies are so weak. You don't hear me crying every time I crap my pants
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
You must read the replies.
I can name every type of car
November 6, 2025 at 3:29 AM
You must read the replies.
One part of the economy is improving
November 7, 2025 at 2:21 AM
One part of the economy is improving
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
I can name every type of car
November 5, 2025 at 6:09 PM
I can name every type of car
Trying my hardest not to
November 6, 2025 at 1:46 AM
Trying my hardest not to
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Last night I had the option to hand out candy or turn off all the lights and hoard.
I stand by my decision.
I stand by my decision.
November 1, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Last night I had the option to hand out candy or turn off all the lights and hoard.
I stand by my decision.
I stand by my decision.
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Another tiny, entitled vampire tonight for Halloween. He didn't even bother with a compelling argument for the candy, just shook his bag at me like a tiny, silent landlord collecting rent.
October 31, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Another tiny, entitled vampire tonight for Halloween. He didn't even bother with a compelling argument for the candy, just shook his bag at me like a tiny, silent landlord collecting rent.
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Lost another fight with my stove clock
November 2, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Lost another fight with my stove clock
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
i think a funny thing to ask a guy named charles when he's barfing is WHATS UP CHUCK and also another funny thing is
November 4, 2025 at 1:32 AM
i think a funny thing to ask a guy named charles when he's barfing is WHATS UP CHUCK and also another funny thing is
Stop pumpkining cookies
November 4, 2025 at 6:12 AM
Stop pumpkining cookies
My War on Christmas until December First has begun
November 4, 2025 at 5:05 AM
My War on Christmas until December First has begun
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
me: *typing in my symptoms*
webMD: GO INTO THE LIGHT
webMD: GO INTO THE LIGHT
August 24, 2024 at 9:08 PM
me: *typing in my symptoms*
webMD: GO INTO THE LIGHT
webMD: GO INTO THE LIGHT
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
Hard to know when someone is hitchhiking or just like really supportive
October 28, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Hard to know when someone is hitchhiking or just like really supportive
Never thought I'd have to pass a "no sea shanties before 8 am" rule. But here we are
October 28, 2025 at 2:30 AM
Never thought I'd have to pass a "no sea shanties before 8 am" rule. But here we are
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
House hunting tip:
Never approach them from upwind. They can smell your fear.
Never approach them from upwind. They can smell your fear.
October 27, 2025 at 8:51 PM
House hunting tip:
Never approach them from upwind. They can smell your fear.
Never approach them from upwind. They can smell your fear.
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
I don’t understand why people hire plumbers for small repairs; it’s only taken me $40, 3 trips to Home Depot, the unnecessary replacement of one perfectly fine part, and I’m 85% sure I’ll have this figured out by next week
October 27, 2025 at 9:20 PM
I don’t understand why people hire plumbers for small repairs; it’s only taken me $40, 3 trips to Home Depot, the unnecessary replacement of one perfectly fine part, and I’m 85% sure I’ll have this figured out by next week
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
When I say it's the least I could do, rest assured the least I could do is actually nothing
October 25, 2025 at 3:32 AM
When I say it's the least I could do, rest assured the least I could do is actually nothing
Reposted by Robo Justin (Updating to Win98 any day now)
So I ran my mouth 100 days ago
October 25, 2025 at 3:10 PM
So I ran my mouth 100 days ago
You all said I was crazy when I started learning how to throw my voice like a ventriloquist, but look who's laughing now
C'mon, look
C'mon, look
October 27, 2025 at 5:40 PM
You all said I was crazy when I started learning how to throw my voice like a ventriloquist, but look who's laughing now
C'mon, look
C'mon, look