Judah Kelber
@jkelber.bsky.social
Former IT guy who likes to cook and garden. USMC (Reserves) veteran. Almost-native Oregonian (moved here when I was 1 month old, that ought to count for something). Whee?
Reposted by Judah Kelber
mr president sir theres a story coming about how you intervened to help a sex criminal. no sir, not that sex criminal you helped….no not that one either…sir, please stop guessing sex criminals that you helped. ill give you a hint sir, hes a trafficker. no sir, not that trafficker a different one
NEW: When Andrew Tate landed in the US, Customs & Border Protection seized his electronic devices. But @propublica.org found that a White House official told DHS to return the devices, emphasizing that the request came from the White House.
By @robert-faturechi.bsky.social & Avi Asher-Schapiro
By @robert-faturechi.bsky.social & Avi Asher-Schapiro
The White House Intervened on Behalf of Accused Sex Trafficker Andrew Tate During a Federal Investigation
Federal authorities were chided for seizing electronic devices from Tate and his brother, and told to return them, records and interviews show. Experts said the intervention was highly inappropriate.
www.propublica.org
November 18, 2025 at 1:10 PM
mr president sir theres a story coming about how you intervened to help a sex criminal. no sir, not that sex criminal you helped….no not that one either…sir, please stop guessing sex criminals that you helped. ill give you a hint sir, hes a trafficker. no sir, not that trafficker a different one
Reposted by Judah Kelber
Trying to win an award from the Hollywood Foreign Press, which is simultaneously three separate things he has built his career on hating.
Ben Shapiro is spending a lot of $$$ trying to win the inaugural Best Podcast award at the Golden Globes.
Details in @status.news: www.status.news/p/ben-shapir...
Details in @status.news: www.status.news/p/ben-shapir...
Shapiro's Golden Spending Spree
Ben Shapiro is mounting an aggressive Golden Globes campaign, buying billboard space in Times Square and within Jay Penske’s media empire in a bid to win the inaugural Best Podcast award.
www.status.news
November 18, 2025 at 4:39 AM
Trying to win an award from the Hollywood Foreign Press, which is simultaneously three separate things he has built his career on hating.
Reposted by Judah Kelber
oh, hey, look, it’s what literally everyone who knew anything about hiring staff said would happen
Insiders are saying the Department of Homeland Security's ICE hiring is in "chaos" and Homeland Security Advisor Stephen Miller is reportedly angry over "lagging" deportation numbers.
‘Everyone is being screamed at’: Insiders say Stephen Miller irate as deportations lagging
Insiders are saying the Department of Homeland Security's ICE hiring is in "chaos" and Homeland Security Advisor Stephen Miller is reportedly angry over "lagging" deportation numbers. A DHS source tol...
www.rawstory.com
November 17, 2025 at 11:49 PM
oh, hey, look, it’s what literally everyone who knew anything about hiring staff said would happen
Zay Flowers is hilariously amazing on this play.
November 16, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Zay Flowers is hilariously amazing on this play.
Reposted by Judah Kelber
Rudy Bridges is younger than the Sitting President of the United States and 29 sitting United States Senators
It’s useful for people of my generation to be reminded that this wasn’t that long ago. Ruby Bridges isn’t just still alive—she’s only 71, not ancient!
65 years ago on Nov. 14, little Ruby Bridges was escorted into an all-white elementary school in New Orleans. Norman Rockwell, renowned for blissful depictions of Americana, did this remarkable painting for Look magazine. Printed as a double page, over-size spread, it's his masterpiece.
November 15, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Rudy Bridges is younger than the Sitting President of the United States and 29 sitting United States Senators
Absolutely absurd play, but fun to watch!
This is a *ridiculous* TD run from Oregon's Noah Whittington but he lost the ball crossing the goal line - on review they said he had enough control on recovery to keep it a TD
November 15, 2025 at 3:12 AM
Absolutely absurd play, but fun to watch!
Reposted by Judah Kelber
DOGE ATE MY HOMEWORK
WHITE HOUSE: FEDERAL STATISTICAL SYSTEM MAY HAVE PERMANENTLY BEEN DAMAGED WHITE HOUSE: OCTOBER JOBS REPORTS LIKELY NEVER RELEASED
November 12, 2025 at 6:48 PM
DOGE ATE MY HOMEWORK
Reposted by Judah Kelber
When I joined the USMC Reserves, my recruiter had to bring me to my unit. He plugged the address in Mapquest and off we went. But because it was Mapquest, it didn't recognize the address so it gave directions to the middle of the requested city. Which put us at the entrance to the White House.
welcome to bluesky. if the word "mapquest" means anything to you and/or you used it as a verb, you're in the right place
November 11, 2025 at 1:30 AM
When I joined the USMC Reserves, my recruiter had to bring me to my unit. He plugged the address in Mapquest and off we went. But because it was Mapquest, it didn't recognize the address so it gave directions to the middle of the requested city. Which put us at the entrance to the White House.
One might even ask, "How do they work?"
November 10, 2025 at 9:45 PM
One might even ask, "How do they work?"
Reposted by Judah Kelber
BREAKING: Judge will keep USDA's Saturday order on hold that directed states to "undo" full SNAP payments.
Talwani: "I think there is no reason for me not to keep in place my stay of the order directing the agencies to take steps to return the funds that were issued."
Talwani: "I think there is no reason for me not to keep in place my stay of the order directing the agencies to take steps to return the funds that were issued."
November 10, 2025 at 9:11 PM
BREAKING: Judge will keep USDA's Saturday order on hold that directed states to "undo" full SNAP payments.
Talwani: "I think there is no reason for me not to keep in place my stay of the order directing the agencies to take steps to return the funds that were issued."
Talwani: "I think there is no reason for me not to keep in place my stay of the order directing the agencies to take steps to return the funds that were issued."
Happy birthday to my beloved Marine Corps, warts and all. And a special curse on Tom Brady for calling it the Marine Corpse.
November 10, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Happy birthday to my beloved Marine Corps, warts and all. And a special curse on Tom Brady for calling it the Marine Corpse.
Reposted by Judah Kelber
This is pathetic. Cowards, all of them.
Schatz is reportedly a no. I’m guessing Durbin (retiring) and Cortez Masto (voting with Republicans the entire time) make 60 and nobody else takes the heat.
Kaine & King aren’t up for reelection til 2030 plus King is 81, Shaheen is retiring, Hassan is up in 2028, Fetterman is a Republican
Kaine & King aren’t up for reelection til 2030 plus King is 81, Shaheen is retiring, Hassan is up in 2028, Fetterman is a Republican
My count right now is
Kaine
Shaheen
Hassan
Fetterman
King
and in order of likelihood,
Cortez Mastro
Durbin
Gilibrand
Peters
Schatz (All voted to lift the shutdown in March)
Ossoff
Warner
Kaine
Shaheen
Hassan
Fetterman
King
and in order of likelihood,
Cortez Mastro
Durbin
Gilibrand
Peters
Schatz (All voted to lift the shutdown in March)
Ossoff
Warner
November 10, 2025 at 1:47 AM
This is pathetic. Cowards, all of them.
Reposted by Judah Kelber
congress sounds so cool i wish it was real
October 24, 2025 at 4:08 AM
congress sounds so cool i wish it was real
Question for @spindlypete.bsky.social or I guess other Oregon folks (but I trust her because the Umpqua Lemon Bar ice cream was the bomb): what kind of ice cream should I get? Just finished the lemon bar one, want to get something Tillamook or Umpqua.
November 10, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Question for @spindlypete.bsky.social or I guess other Oregon folks (but I trust her because the Umpqua Lemon Bar ice cream was the bomb): what kind of ice cream should I get? Just finished the lemon bar one, want to get something Tillamook or Umpqua.
Tom Brady just thanked the Marine Corpse. Amazing.
November 9, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Tom Brady just thanked the Marine Corpse. Amazing.
Reposted by Judah Kelber
This is the correct explanation of what happened tonight👇
KBJ threaded the needle thanks to CA1’s unfinished business.
-if she denied the admin stay, the full SCOTUS woulda stepped in to override her.
-if she immediately referred the case to the full Court, they coulda dragged feet.
-instead she boxed them in to act quickly once she does refer the case.
-if she denied the admin stay, the full SCOTUS woulda stepped in to override her.
-if she immediately referred the case to the full Court, they coulda dragged feet.
-instead she boxed them in to act quickly once she does refer the case.
November 8, 2025 at 3:35 AM
This is the correct explanation of what happened tonight👇
Great summary as usual from Chris!
November 8, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Great summary as usual from Chris!
Reposted by Judah Kelber
A long and comprehensive opinion, but this jumped out at me: The judge accused the Federal Protective Service—which was called in to suppress the protests—of lying under oath to slander the regular Portland police.😬
DOJ recently admitted that other FPS claims in this case were objectively false.
DOJ recently admitted that other FPS claims in this case were objectively false.
November 8, 2025 at 1:13 AM
A long and comprehensive opinion, but this jumped out at me: The judge accused the Federal Protective Service—which was called in to suppress the protests—of lying under oath to slander the regular Portland police.😬
DOJ recently admitted that other FPS claims in this case were objectively false.
DOJ recently admitted that other FPS claims in this case were objectively false.
Reposted by Judah Kelber
BREAKING: Judge Immergut issues a permanent injunction against Pete Hegseth and the deployment of the National Guard to Portland.
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
November 8, 2025 at 1:01 AM
BREAKING: Judge Immergut issues a permanent injunction against Pete Hegseth and the deployment of the National Guard to Portland.
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
Reposted by Judah Kelber
Every Raiders series is the same
Bad first down run
Immediate pressure on second down
*fart noise* on third down
Bad first down run
Immediate pressure on second down
*fart noise* on third down
November 7, 2025 at 3:30 AM
Every Raiders series is the same
Bad first down run
Immediate pressure on second down
*fart noise* on third down
Bad first down run
Immediate pressure on second down
*fart noise* on third down
Reposted by Judah Kelber
Clarence Thomas and Sam Alito doing the "what if I was the last man on Earth? Would you date me then?" move, trying to identify the hypothetical conditions under which Trump's tariffs regime could possibly be legal
ballsandstrikes.org/scotus/learn...
ballsandstrikes.org/scotus/learn...
Trump’s Plan to Nuke the Global Economy Prompts Conservative Justices to Remember That the Constitution Exists
The Court has no problem facilitating the disappearance of civil rights. Shareholder value is a different story.
ballsandstrikes.org
November 6, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Clarence Thomas and Sam Alito doing the "what if I was the last man on Earth? Would you date me then?" move, trying to identify the hypothetical conditions under which Trump's tariffs regime could possibly be legal
ballsandstrikes.org/scotus/learn...
ballsandstrikes.org/scotus/learn...
Reposted by Judah Kelber
Really looking forward to the Speaker of the House claiming to be unaware of the election results.
November 5, 2025 at 3:05 AM
Really looking forward to the Speaker of the House claiming to be unaware of the election results.
Reposted by Judah Kelber
this is the most successful a CIA officer has been at toppling a government in years.
November 5, 2025 at 1:13 AM
this is the most successful a CIA officer has been at toppling a government in years.
Reposted by Judah Kelber
Bold of Zohran to murder Dick Cheney as his final campaign stunt
November 4, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Bold of Zohran to murder Dick Cheney as his final campaign stunt