Judah Kelber
@jkelber.bsky.social
Former IT guy who likes to cook and garden. USMC (Reserves) veteran. Almost-native Oregonian (moved here when I was 1 month old, that ought to count for something). Whee?
Reposted by Judah Kelber
I wrote about the patty melt, about not fitting into molds, and about the pain & joy of a life that doesn't fit a predetermined menu: buttondown.com/theswordandt...
Notable Sandwiches #135: Patty Melt
Welcome back to Notable Sandwiches, the feature where David and I trip merrily through Wikipedia’s List of Notable Sandwiches, in alphabetical order. This...
buttondown.com
January 23, 2026 at 6:47 PM
I wrote about the patty melt, about not fitting into molds, and about the pain & joy of a life that doesn't fit a predetermined menu: buttondown.com/theswordandt...
Reposted by Judah Kelber
Like this hire. Have mentioned I think the Ravens should go defense; he’s been excellent in LA. Creative and gotten the most out of the talent there.
The Ravens plan to hire Jesse Minter as their head coach, sources tell The Insiders.
It’s a reunion for the Ravens and Minter, a onetime John Harbaugh assistant who now replaces him in Baltimore.
It’s a reunion for the Ravens and Minter, a onetime John Harbaugh assistant who now replaces him in Baltimore.
January 22, 2026 at 10:45 PM
Like this hire. Have mentioned I think the Ravens should go defense; he’s been excellent in LA. Creative and gotten the most out of the talent there.
Reposted by Judah Kelber
A normal attorney who was the subject of this memorandum would walk into the ocean and never come back
BREAKING
A federal judge STRIKES the words "United States Attorney" from Lindsey Halligan's signature and warns that he will refer her to disciplinary proceedings if she persists in calling herself one.
Doc buff.ly/JvTKLlD
Background buff.ly/Ay2iB6u
A federal judge STRIKES the words "United States Attorney" from Lindsey Halligan's signature and warns that he will refer her to disciplinary proceedings if she persists in calling herself one.
Doc buff.ly/JvTKLlD
Background buff.ly/Ay2iB6u
January 20, 2026 at 7:24 PM
A normal attorney who was the subject of this memorandum would walk into the ocean and never come back
We're getting closer than I'm fully comfortable with to ridiculous songs coming true. www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMb...
January 20, 2026 at 12:19 AM
We're getting closer than I'm fully comfortable with to ridiculous songs coming true. www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMb...
Aside from the time someone misspelled attractive as attractivece, it's probably theJosh with his, "There is 7 days in a week, if you workout every other day, you work out 4 days a week" ranting and repeatedly doubling down.
Speak, muses — tell me about a sentence or phrase that you read in someone's ephemeral post on a long-dead online forum but has lived rent-free in your head ever since
January 19, 2026 at 7:01 PM
Aside from the time someone misspelled attractive as attractivece, it's probably theJosh with his, "There is 7 days in a week, if you workout every other day, you work out 4 days a week" ranting and repeatedly doubling down.
Reposted by Judah Kelber
So the reason for the strange audio - Harrison Mevis said shit (h/t @themailerdemon.bsky.social)
January 19, 2026 at 3:27 AM
So the reason for the strange audio - Harrison Mevis said shit (h/t @themailerdemon.bsky.social)
Reposted by Judah Kelber
Reposted by Judah Kelber
the Rams got a potentially game-saving tackle by
a) spearing D'Andre Swift in the crotch, then
b) flattening him on frozen turf
a) spearing D'Andre Swift in the crotch, then
b) flattening him on frozen turf
January 19, 2026 at 2:22 AM
the Rams got a potentially game-saving tackle by
a) spearing D'Andre Swift in the crotch, then
b) flattening him on frozen turf
a) spearing D'Andre Swift in the crotch, then
b) flattening him on frozen turf
Reposted by Judah Kelber
Frank Crum with a BIG MAN touchdown!
January 17, 2026 at 10:23 PM
Frank Crum with a BIG MAN touchdown!
Reposted by Judah Kelber
thats his hole. it was made for him.
Right-wing influencer Jake Lang is stuck in a window recess against Minneapolis City Hall.
He’s soaked with freezing water after counterprotesters hurled water balloons at him. bit.ly/4baGhJn
He’s soaked with freezing water after counterprotesters hurled water balloons at him. bit.ly/4baGhJn
January 17, 2026 at 7:19 PM
thats his hole. it was made for him.
Reposted by Judah Kelber
Photo by Pierre Lavie. Yes this is me. And I threw my Leica. It landed on the bass plate with hardly a scratch. Another Photographer grabbed it along with my phone and I was able to track him later. I was held face down tear gas deployed right in front of me and pepper sprayed directly into the eye.
January 17, 2026 at 2:57 PM
Photo by Pierre Lavie. Yes this is me. And I threw my Leica. It landed on the bass plate with hardly a scratch. Another Photographer grabbed it along with my phone and I was able to track him later. I was held face down tear gas deployed right in front of me and pepper sprayed directly into the eye.
Most of the time I go to a theater, it's the one in the next town.
"You’re not going to get in the car and go to the next town to see a movie," says Netflix co-CEO Ted Sarandos
Ted Sarandos commits to 45-day theatrical windows, believes theaters are for city folk
Ted Sarandos commits to 45-day theatrical windows, believes theaters are for city folk
www.avclub.com
January 17, 2026 at 2:24 AM
Most of the time I go to a theater, it's the one in the next town.
Dinner is coming together.
January 17, 2026 at 1:50 AM
Dinner is coming together.
Reposted by Judah Kelber
Not sure who needs to hear this, but the Insurrection Act isn’t the same as “martial law.” It authorizes the molitary to engage in civil law enforcement. And not clear that even then, whether they can enforce state criminal laws
January 15, 2026 at 3:21 PM
Not sure who needs to hear this, but the Insurrection Act isn’t the same as “martial law.” It authorizes the molitary to engage in civil law enforcement. And not clear that even then, whether they can enforce state criminal laws
Reposted by Judah Kelber
I had to look up Lizardman's Constant: the 4% of people who will tell a pollster lizard people are taking over the world, ie the minimum answer you will get for even the most absurd question.
"Do you think it would be a good idea or a bad idea for the U.S. to use military force to take possession of Greenland from Denmark?"
Good idea: 4%
Bad idea: 71%
(Ipsos)
4%. He did it. He finally hit Lizardman's Constant.
Good idea: 4%
Bad idea: 71%
(Ipsos)
4%. He did it. He finally hit Lizardman's Constant.
January 14, 2026 at 7:19 PM
I had to look up Lizardman's Constant: the 4% of people who will tell a pollster lizard people are taking over the world, ie the minimum answer you will get for even the most absurd question.
30 years ago, @kicksie.bsky.social and I started officially dating. And she hasn't been able to get rid of me since. :) Happy 30 year dateaversary!
January 14, 2026 at 5:57 PM
30 years ago, @kicksie.bsky.social and I started officially dating. And she hasn't been able to get rid of me since. :) Happy 30 year dateaversary!
Reposted by Judah Kelber
Friends, Claudette Colvin—the 15-year-old who refused to give up her seat on a Montgomery bus in March 1955 & joined the federal case against bus segregation that went to the Supreme Court — died today at age 86. But there are lots of myths and mis-impressions about her. A short corrective thread:
January 14, 2026 at 1:27 AM
Friends, Claudette Colvin—the 15-year-old who refused to give up her seat on a Montgomery bus in March 1955 & joined the federal case against bus segregation that went to the Supreme Court — died today at age 86. But there are lots of myths and mis-impressions about her. A short corrective thread:
Reposted by Judah Kelber
I’m weird because I don’t think the government of a constitutional democracy should be boastfully posting about engaging in God-ordained violence a few days after the agency making the post murdered a citizen in broad daylight.
January 13, 2026 at 11:44 PM
I’m weird because I don’t think the government of a constitutional democracy should be boastfully posting about engaging in God-ordained violence a few days after the agency making the post murdered a citizen in broad daylight.
Reposted by Judah Kelber
I’ve been managing industrial freight at the food factories I’ve worked at for almost 14 years.
When I started it was much more common for big companies like grocers or manufacturers to have their own fleets.
That was when truckers had good pay and were mostly white men. …
When I started it was much more common for big companies like grocers or manufacturers to have their own fleets.
That was when truckers had good pay and were mostly white men. …
If your goal is to have a general strike happen and work you should be spending like 100% of your time and effort right now organizing and radicalizing truckers, railroad workers, longshoremen and logistics workers. That's the sector with the "destroy society if they stop working for a week" switch
January 13, 2026 at 2:50 PM
I’ve been managing industrial freight at the food factories I’ve worked at for almost 14 years.
When I started it was much more common for big companies like grocers or manufacturers to have their own fleets.
That was when truckers had good pay and were mostly white men. …
When I started it was much more common for big companies like grocers or manufacturers to have their own fleets.
That was when truckers had good pay and were mostly white men. …
We got a BIG MAN TOUCHDOWN and also got to watch Aaron Rodgers have his last NFL pass be a pick-6, what else can you ask for?
January 13, 2026 at 4:55 AM
We got a BIG MAN TOUCHDOWN and also got to watch Aaron Rodgers have his last NFL pass be a pick-6, what else can you ask for?
You love to see it. kotaku.com/dude-will-de...
January 12, 2026 at 11:43 PM
You love to see it. kotaku.com/dude-will-de...
Reposted by Judah Kelber
Someone needs to ask Kristi Noem why she and DHS are promoting and using Sinister Chinese Communist drones, instead of Square-Jawed Heterosexual American Drones.
This DHS post on X about their new drone program, touting "American Air Superiority," prominently features a Chinese-made DJI drone.
Which are the exact same drones that the Trump administration recently banned from import into the United States.
Which are the exact same drones that the Trump administration recently banned from import into the United States.
January 12, 2026 at 7:45 PM
Someone needs to ask Kristi Noem why she and DHS are promoting and using Sinister Chinese Communist drones, instead of Square-Jawed Heterosexual American Drones.
Reposted by Judah Kelber
Pam Bondi is going to announce tomorrow that Jerome Powell tried to ram Donald Trump with his car
January 12, 2026 at 3:13 AM
Pam Bondi is going to announce tomorrow that Jerome Powell tried to ram Donald Trump with his car
Reposted by Judah Kelber
holy fuck it’s real
January 11, 2026 at 3:24 AM
holy fuck it’s real
Reposted by Judah Kelber
This is how they played The First of Us
🚨FLASH : on a retrouvé une manette de l'âge de pierre, indiquant que nos ancêtres jouaient déjà aux jeux vidéos.
January 10, 2026 at 7:21 PM
This is how they played The First of Us