Jesus and Butthead
@jesus-and-butthead.bsky.social
I work at a record store, I'm a former member of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Rogers, and now I like to stay home and write. Formerly known as DJ Fart Ghost.
Just my brain garbage https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:icwmuvffuts3iaugroxwqjl7/feed/aaajnaptz5uk2
Just my brain garbage https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:icwmuvffuts3iaugroxwqjl7/feed/aaajnaptz5uk2
Pinned
Sorry, I'm not going to subscribe to your onlyfans. I don't even subscribe to my mom's.
Reposted by Jesus and Butthead
People who stand at the dryer to fold their laundry: who hurt you??
November 25, 2025 at 1:53 PM
People who stand at the dryer to fold their laundry: who hurt you??
I haven't really posted in awhile. I got to see what Bluesky life would be like if I wasn't around.
It's like George Bailey discovered everyone was better off without him, so he returned out of spite.
It's like George Bailey discovered everyone was better off without him, so he returned out of spite.
November 25, 2025 at 3:39 AM
I haven't really posted in awhile. I got to see what Bluesky life would be like if I wasn't around.
It's like George Bailey discovered everyone was better off without him, so he returned out of spite.
It's like George Bailey discovered everyone was better off without him, so he returned out of spite.
Reposted by Jesus and Butthead
Helped my neighbor bury an old rug last night…her boyfriend would have helped her, but he had to go out of town unexpectedly 🤷🏻♀️
November 22, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Helped my neighbor bury an old rug last night…her boyfriend would have helped her, but he had to go out of town unexpectedly 🤷🏻♀️
Reposted by Jesus and Butthead
If I didn’t reply to your comment it’s because it got buried in my notifications
If you didn’t reply to my comment it’s because you hate me
If you didn’t reply to my comment it’s because you hate me
November 21, 2025 at 3:40 AM
If I didn’t reply to your comment it’s because it got buried in my notifications
If you didn’t reply to my comment it’s because you hate me
If you didn’t reply to my comment it’s because you hate me
Reposted by Jesus and Butthead
There's gotta be more to life than doom scrolling and working. This just ain't it.
November 21, 2025 at 4:07 AM
There's gotta be more to life than doom scrolling and working. This just ain't it.
Reposted by Jesus and Butthead
If we're not making pennies anymore, what's going to happen to everyone who steals copper wire and pipes for the government?
November 20, 2025 at 5:57 PM
If we're not making pennies anymore, what's going to happen to everyone who steals copper wire and pipes for the government?
I just realized that I dress a lot like one of the counselors from the original Friday the 13th film.
November 20, 2025 at 5:52 PM
I just realized that I dress a lot like one of the counselors from the original Friday the 13th film.
He never called Jeffrey Epstein late at night. He was talking to Jake from State Farm.
It's in the files, you'll see.
It's in the files, you'll see.
November 20, 2025 at 5:23 PM
He never called Jeffrey Epstein late at night. He was talking to Jake from State Farm.
It's in the files, you'll see.
It's in the files, you'll see.
Reposted by Jesus and Butthead
Nobody talks about Dr. Frankenstein's younger brothers, way to mess up the family name for everybody bro
November 20, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Nobody talks about Dr. Frankenstein's younger brothers, way to mess up the family name for everybody bro
Reposted by Jesus and Butthead
Worst thing about waking up from a night of drinking and finding all your possessions thrown out at the curb?
Remembering you live alone.
Remembering you live alone.
November 20, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Worst thing about waking up from a night of drinking and finding all your possessions thrown out at the curb?
Remembering you live alone.
Remembering you live alone.
Reposted by Jesus and Butthead
him: She was a nightmare
me:
me:
November 20, 2025 at 3:51 AM
him: She was a nightmare
me:
me:
Reposted by Jesus and Butthead
It doesn't hurt my feelings that more people didn't like my International Men's Day tribute.
I didn't explain it.
I didn't explain it.
November 19, 2025 at 11:06 PM
It doesn't hurt my feelings that more people didn't like my International Men's Day tribute.
I didn't explain it.
I didn't explain it.
I was going to make a body image joke about Ben Franklin, but then I looked in the mirror and thought I looked pretty good today.
I'll take it.
I'll take it.
November 19, 2025 at 4:48 PM
I was going to make a body image joke about Ben Franklin, but then I looked in the mirror and thought I looked pretty good today.
I'll take it.
I'll take it.
Reposted by Jesus and Butthead
Reposted by Jesus and Butthead
I lost my faith in humanity when I found out there are people out there who don't know how to cook rice.
November 18, 2025 at 11:03 PM
I lost my faith in humanity when I found out there are people out there who don't know how to cook rice.
Man, the 80s were cool. When we thought about the future, it was all jet packs, transporters, flying cars, and trickle-down economics.
November 18, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Man, the 80s were cool. When we thought about the future, it was all jet packs, transporters, flying cars, and trickle-down economics.
Reposted by Jesus and Butthead
hey babe you ok? you’ve hardly eaten any mentos today, don’t you want to be fresh and full of life?
November 18, 2025 at 3:31 PM
hey babe you ok? you’ve hardly eaten any mentos today, don’t you want to be fresh and full of life?
Reposted by Jesus and Butthead
This den of fornication and harlotry has me hovering on the brink of virtue.
November 18, 2025 at 2:54 PM
This den of fornication and harlotry has me hovering on the brink of virtue.
Reposted by Jesus and Butthead
I have toe fungus that is more principled than you.
November 18, 2025 at 2:58 PM
I have toe fungus that is more principled than you.
Reposted by Jesus and Butthead
I just find it a bit suspicious that Mario spells cart with a K
November 18, 2025 at 4:48 AM
I just find it a bit suspicious that Mario spells cart with a K
watching British Antiques Roadshow, and the appraiser said, "tell me about your spectacular box"
November 17, 2025 at 8:21 PM
watching British Antiques Roadshow, and the appraiser said, "tell me about your spectacular box"
The woman in the condo below ours last two boyfriends were named Raphael. You'd think she could find someone named after one of the other turtles.
November 17, 2025 at 5:01 PM
The woman in the condo below ours last two boyfriends were named Raphael. You'd think she could find someone named after one of the other turtles.
Reposted by Jesus and Butthead
Before you post your political cartoon depicting child rape as a way to stick it to the R’s, consider that 1 in 4 of your audience have had sexual assault.
November 16, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Before you post your political cartoon depicting child rape as a way to stick it to the R’s, consider that 1 in 4 of your audience have had sexual assault.
Great, so it's time for all the,"so you've heard of elf on the shelf..." jokes.
Shut up. Just fucking shut up.
(bitchin' in the kitchen)
Shut up. Just fucking shut up.
(bitchin' in the kitchen)
November 16, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Great, so it's time for all the,"so you've heard of elf on the shelf..." jokes.
Shut up. Just fucking shut up.
(bitchin' in the kitchen)
Shut up. Just fucking shut up.
(bitchin' in the kitchen)