Captain Ambivalent (comedy music) 🫱🏻🫲🏾
@captainambivalent.com
Satirical Songwriting Superhero. Not so secretly Daniel E Biemer, Nerd. Chicagoland
My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nvejbpumalu2iw3zbg2zujuv/feed/aaamr2ds5fh46
Store: https://captainambivalent.bandcamp.com
My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nvejbpumalu2iw3zbg2zujuv/feed/aaamr2ds5fh46
Store: https://captainambivalent.bandcamp.com
Pinned
Intro post:
* Silly on main, replies/likes may be serious
* General nerd
* Solo all-ages Fringe acoustic performer/recording artist (sortofa cross between Weird Al & TMBG)
* Developing satirical pop musical Rick Cosmos and the Green Things From Mars
* Former corporate litigation support/ediscovery
* Silly on main, replies/likes may be serious
* General nerd
* Solo all-ages Fringe acoustic performer/recording artist (sortofa cross between Weird Al & TMBG)
* Developing satirical pop musical Rick Cosmos and the Green Things From Mars
* Former corporate litigation support/ediscovery
The series finale will end with the reveal of Barb returned to life, but no one will get it because the actor has grown up so much
December 26, 2025 at 9:34 PM
The series finale will end with the reveal of Barb returned to life, but no one will get it because the actor has grown up so much
New York City peeps, check out storytelling show “Awkward Teenage Years” at the Frigid festival (I know the stage manager)
Have I figured out a New Years goal? Of course not. Resolutions? No. Did I finish my reasonable goal from 2025? Definitely not. Here is something we CAN do. tickets.frigid.nyc/event/6897:2...
Frigid New York
tickets.frigid.nyc
December 26, 2025 at 8:34 PM
New York City peeps, check out storytelling show “Awkward Teenage Years” at the Frigid festival (I know the stage manager)
Reposted by Captain Ambivalent (comedy music) 🫱🏻🫲🏾
And then you will be visited by a FOURTH spirit, the Ghost of Christmas Multiverse, who will show you being an asshole in multiple timelines, including one where you’re the only human in a land of muppets
December 26, 2025 at 3:51 AM
And then you will be visited by a FOURTH spirit, the Ghost of Christmas Multiverse, who will show you being an asshole in multiple timelines, including one where you’re the only human in a land of muppets
These sad days when recollection of even the most famous reindeer is in question
December 26, 2025 at 2:10 AM
These sad days when recollection of even the most famous reindeer is in question
Reposted by Captain Ambivalent (comedy music) 🫱🏻🫲🏾
OH SHIT FOUND THE FULL TRACK ON SOUNDCLOUD
WHISTLE WHILE YOU TWERK X CAROL OF THE BELLS
WHISTLE WHILE YOU TWERK X CAROL OF THE BELLS
soundcloud.com
December 25, 2025 at 6:23 PM
OH SHIT FOUND THE FULL TRACK ON SOUNDCLOUD
I’m Tiny Tim
and my last name’s CRATCHIT
Rappin to the beat
Got a record? I’ll SCRATCH IT
and my last name’s CRATCHIT
Rappin to the beat
Got a record? I’ll SCRATCH IT
And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, soon grew healthy enough to pursue his rap career under the pseudonym Timinem, The Real Slim Chevy
Merry Christmas, everyone
Merry Christmas, everyone
December 25, 2025 at 6:57 PM
I’m Tiny Tim
and my last name’s CRATCHIT
Rappin to the beat
Got a record? I’ll SCRATCH IT
and my last name’s CRATCHIT
Rappin to the beat
Got a record? I’ll SCRATCH IT
Reposted by Captain Ambivalent (comedy music) 🫱🏻🫲🏾
so are Aubrey Plaza and Nakatomi Plaza siblings, or married?
December 25, 2025 at 4:39 PM
so are Aubrey Plaza and Nakatomi Plaza siblings, or married?
Reposted by Captain Ambivalent (comedy music) 🫱🏻🫲🏾
Personal note, I’m really enjoying all the little glimpse-into-your-holiday posts! I’m recovering from retinal surgery unable to do the usual travel and cooking, but y’all are making me smile until family Facetime later.
Sending virtual (platonic consentual) hugs to everyone who needs one today!
Sending virtual (platonic consentual) hugs to everyone who needs one today!
December 25, 2025 at 2:47 PM
Personal note, I’m really enjoying all the little glimpse-into-your-holiday posts! I’m recovering from retinal surgery unable to do the usual travel and cooking, but y’all are making me smile until family Facetime later.
Sending virtual (platonic consentual) hugs to everyone who needs one today!
Sending virtual (platonic consentual) hugs to everyone who needs one today!
Reposted by Captain Ambivalent (comedy music) 🫱🏻🫲🏾
Dudes: silent night, holy night
Mary: um I was in labor???
Dudes: so silent and holy
Mary: um I was in labor???
Dudes: so silent and holy
December 25, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Dudes: silent night, holy night
Mary: um I was in labor???
Dudes: so silent and holy
Mary: um I was in labor???
Dudes: so silent and holy
Text blast at midnight: welp, baby’s born!
December 25, 2025 at 1:12 PM
Text blast at midnight: welp, baby’s born!
We’re gonna need a bigger ghost
December 25, 2025 at 5:42 AM
We’re gonna need a bigger ghost
“Epstein was dead, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner.”
December 25, 2025 at 1:58 AM
“Epstein was dead, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner.”
Reposted by Captain Ambivalent (comedy music) 🫱🏻🫲🏾
KNOW YOUR SANTAS
Christmas Santa: presents
Charisma Santa: presence
Charming Santa: pleasants
Medieval Santa: peasants
Hunter Santa: pheasants
Roll Call Santa: present
Christmas Santa: presents
Charisma Santa: presence
Charming Santa: pleasants
Medieval Santa: peasants
Hunter Santa: pheasants
Roll Call Santa: present
December 24, 2025 at 6:37 PM
KNOW YOUR SANTAS
Christmas Santa: presents
Charisma Santa: presence
Charming Santa: pleasants
Medieval Santa: peasants
Hunter Santa: pheasants
Roll Call Santa: present
Christmas Santa: presents
Charisma Santa: presence
Charming Santa: pleasants
Medieval Santa: peasants
Hunter Santa: pheasants
Roll Call Santa: present
There are zero of me, again quite precise
There are 53 stock art photos of me on Getty Images and there are 83,600 of Taylor Swift, and as it turns out this is a staggeringly precise representation of the difference between our levels of fame
December 24, 2025 at 7:26 PM
There are zero of me, again quite precise
Reposted by Captain Ambivalent (comedy music) 🫱🏻🫲🏾
🎶 spider baby
Just slip a victim under the tree
for me 🎶
Just slip a victim under the tree
for me 🎶
On this day in Horror Comedy History, SPIDER BABY was released in 1967.
December 24, 2025 at 5:04 PM
🎶 spider baby
Just slip a victim under the tree
for me 🎶
Just slip a victim under the tree
for me 🎶
Reposted by Captain Ambivalent (comedy music) 🫱🏻🫲🏾
Reposted by Captain Ambivalent (comedy music) 🫱🏻🫲🏾
Santa ignores borders, on or off the Earth
December 24, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Santa ignores borders, on or off the Earth
Surprised they haven’t done a two hour origin story for Frosty’s hat
December 24, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Surprised they haven’t done a two hour origin story for Frosty’s hat
Reposted by Captain Ambivalent (comedy music) 🫱🏻🫲🏾
Uncle Ben will return in Avengers Doomsday.
December 23, 2025 at 3:56 PM
Uncle Ben will return in Avengers Doomsday.
Reposted by Captain Ambivalent (comedy music) 🫱🏻🫲🏾
*advertising that my food truck has "4 Michelins"*
December 23, 2025 at 10:37 PM
*advertising that my food truck has "4 Michelins"*