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greenleejw.bsky.social
Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
@greenleejw.bsky.social
27K followers 330 following 7.7K posts
Surprised historian, not surprised eels.

Doctor of medieval things. Talkin’ eels, history, and maps. Spaniel mourner. Alt-text artist.

I draw custom maps and artwork on commission:
https://surprisedeelmaps.com/

Support me here: patreon.com/SurprisedEel
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greenleejw.bsky.social
Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · Nov 17
I draw custom maps on commission. Maps for books, games, decoration, etc. Here are a couple of examples. There are more on my website, along with a contact form and info about cost, process, etc.

If you need a map, I'm happy to help!

surprisedeelmaps.com
A black and white map showing a city plan for ancient Mycenae. A black and white map showing downtown NY, with small drawings of city landmarks in small snowglobes around the outside of the map. Each drawing is labeled with a number, and the map has corresponding numbers to show where the landmarks are located. A colored fantasy-style map of a land labeled "Examploria." A black and white map of medieval Iberia, focused on the Christian kingdoms in the northern part of the peninsula.
greenleejw.bsky.social
This is amazing
angryalgonquin.bsky.social Angry Algonquin @angryalgonquin.bsky.social · 12h
🎶 My feet are both vibrating from the thunder of the eels!
And the slithering of their bodies really gives me all the feels,
I don't mind that I'm falling on the slippery onion peels,
The eels go thundering on! 🎶

From: Glory, glory halleeelja!
November 10, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
greenleejw.bsky.social
Eels are frequently active during thunder storms...a fact that the premodern English used extensively as a metaphor!

In 1604 John Hanson used the image of eels roused by thunder to describe Catholic priests coming out of their slimy caves to spread their heresy in the world.
🗃️🧪
Meme. Painting of Pope Benedict XIV. He's wearing sumptuous red, trimmed with white ermine, and his stole is brocaded as fuck. His body is facing to his left, but his face is turned towards you. His eyebrows make two arched bridges over the squinty, conniving gateways to his soul. He's rocking a 5 o'clock shadow, and his nose is arrow straight. His expression says that he knows something about you from the secret Vatican archives, and he's not going to tell you. But he might whisper it to your mother, just to watch her face crumble. His left hand is raised, fingers outstretched as if giving a blessing. It also makes him look like he's raising his hand in class. If his facial expression were worried, then this sort of hand-raising would look like he's guessing at the answer. As it is, it just looks like he's a grad student about to jump all over an undergrad's reading of Hamlet. He's gonna talk about Foucault. Meme text reads: "The thunder of eels is my walkup music"
November 10, 2025 at 5:51 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
Eels are frequently active during thunder storms...a fact that the premodern English used extensively as a metaphor!

In 1604 John Hanson used the image of eels roused by thunder to describe Catholic priests coming out of their slimy caves to spread their heresy in the world.
🗃️🧪
Meme. Painting of Pope Benedict XIV. He's wearing sumptuous red, trimmed with white ermine, and his stole is brocaded as fuck. His body is facing to his left, but his face is turned towards you. His eyebrows make two arched bridges over the squinty, conniving gateways to his soul. He's rocking a 5 o'clock shadow, and his nose is arrow straight. His expression says that he knows something about you from the secret Vatican archives, and he's not going to tell you. But he might whisper it to your mother, just to watch her face crumble. His left hand is raised, fingers outstretched as if giving a blessing. It also makes him look like he's raising his hand in class. If his facial expression were worried, then this sort of hand-raising would look like he's guessing at the answer. As it is, it just looks like he's a grad student about to jump all over an undergrad's reading of Hamlet. He's gonna talk about Foucault. Meme text reads: "The thunder of eels is my walkup music"
November 10, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
lollardfish.bsky.social
I was thinking about Zohran’s transition team and today’s anti-feminist piece in the New York Times, and my mother’s book on the first generation of women to work in the city government in New York City.

global.oup.com/academic/pro...
A group of women sitting at long banquet tables looking towards a camera in a black-and-white photo. The title says after the vote: feminist politics in LaGuardia’s New York.
November 6, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
greenleejw.bsky.social
In 1327 John de Moubray died & left behind an estate that included a ferry on the River Trent, 7 wind-mills, a rabbit warren, & annual land rents that included 2 gilded spurs, 9 barbed arrows, & 2,737 eels (10 binds & 9.5 sticks).

That's an eel every 3.2 hours, all year round!
Meme. Medieval marginal art showing a group of four rabbits assaulting a man. One of them is actively on the attack, hitting the man & possibly looking to claw his eyes out. Another rabbit stands behind the man with a club raised, ready to see what it looks like when brain bits come out of a dude's ears. An imposing looking rabbit with a spear stands just to the right, looking back over his shoulder at the assault. He has his right paw up to his mouth, as if he's demanding quiet in a library. To the far right is the last rabbit, playing a bagpipe that looks a bit like a baby hippo vomiting small leopard. The man, dressed in red, is lying prone. This isn't going well for him. Clearly the rabbits have jumped him on his way home from the pub. Made wild by bagpipe music, the first 2 rabbits are having their way with him. The chief rabbit just wants them to shut up so he can appreciate the music. Priorities, yo. Meme text reads: "The eels are great but the rabbit warren is a death trap."
November 7, 2025 at 7:57 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
In 1327 John de Moubray died & left behind an estate that included a ferry on the River Trent, 7 wind-mills, a rabbit warren, & annual land rents that included 2 gilded spurs, 9 barbed arrows, & 2,737 eels (10 binds & 9.5 sticks).

That's an eel every 3.2 hours, all year round!
Meme. Medieval marginal art showing a group of four rabbits assaulting a man. One of them is actively on the attack, hitting the man & possibly looking to claw his eyes out. Another rabbit stands behind the man with a club raised, ready to see what it looks like when brain bits come out of a dude's ears. An imposing looking rabbit with a spear stands just to the right, looking back over his shoulder at the assault. He has his right paw up to his mouth, as if he's demanding quiet in a library. To the far right is the last rabbit, playing a bagpipe that looks a bit like a baby hippo vomiting small leopard. The man, dressed in red, is lying prone. This isn't going well for him. Clearly the rabbits have jumped him on his way home from the pub. Made wild by bagpipe music, the first 2 rabbits are having their way with him. The chief rabbit just wants them to shut up so he can appreciate the music. Priorities, yo. Meme text reads: "The eels are great but the rabbit warren is a death trap."
November 7, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
greenleejw.bsky.social
How long before they land on the argument that high quality things are more expensive, and so the cost of groceries is proof that we have the best groceries in the world?
atrupar.com Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 4d
Q: Food prices are still going up. Grocery prices are still going up. How do you respond?

MIKE JOHNSON: All of the economist have shown that food prices always go up. There's an inflationary level that's built in to grocery prices.
November 6, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
greenleejw.bsky.social
You want to know how important eels were in early medieval Britain. I hear you.

Bede says they were very important. And grave goods from a 7th C. burial site in Cambridge include a copper bowl w/ the skeletal remains of three complete eels.

Who says you can't take it with you?
🗃️🧪
Meme. Medieval painting showing a burial and funeral. There are two gravediggers lowering a body into a fresh grave. There is a shovel on the ground next to them, so you know they've just finished digging. The body is wrapped in a winding sheet & looks quite dead. Standing at the foot of the grave are three religious men. They have neatly tonsured hair, so are either monks or wannabe monks. They are wearing vibrant blue cloaks, and one of them is reading from a large red book. At the edges of the scene, behind the monks on one side and behind the grave on the other, are four figures dressed in black, with black hoods covering their faces. They might be mourners. Or they might be ninjas, sent by a rival clan to disrupt the ceremony and distract the monks while a second team of ninjas breaks into the abbey to steal the fabled Book of Half-Dead Dreams. If they succeed, then the world will be in peril. Somebody warn the monks! Meme text reads: "When you have a grave need of eels"
November 6, 2025 at 5:29 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
You want to know how important eels were in early medieval Britain. I hear you.

Bede says they were very important. And grave goods from a 7th C. burial site in Cambridge include a copper bowl w/ the skeletal remains of three complete eels.

Who says you can't take it with you?
🗃️🧪
Meme. Medieval painting showing a burial and funeral. There are two gravediggers lowering a body into a fresh grave. There is a shovel on the ground next to them, so you know they've just finished digging. The body is wrapped in a winding sheet & looks quite dead. Standing at the foot of the grave are three religious men. They have neatly tonsured hair, so are either monks or wannabe monks. They are wearing vibrant blue cloaks, and one of them is reading from a large red book. At the edges of the scene, behind the monks on one side and behind the grave on the other, are four figures dressed in black, with black hoods covering their faces. They might be mourners. Or they might be ninjas, sent by a rival clan to disrupt the ceremony and distract the monks while a second team of ninjas breaks into the abbey to steal the fabled Book of Half-Dead Dreams. If they succeed, then the world will be in peril. Somebody warn the monks! Meme text reads: "When you have a grave need of eels"
November 6, 2025 at 5:29 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
How long before they land on the argument that high quality things are more expensive, and so the cost of groceries is proof that we have the best groceries in the world?
atrupar.com Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 4d
Q: Food prices are still going up. Grocery prices are still going up. How do you respond?

MIKE JOHNSON: All of the economist have shown that food prices always go up. There's an inflationary level that's built in to grocery prices.
November 6, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
greenleejw.bsky.social
Did medieval peasants have more free time than you? No way! Think of all the eels they had to catch & prepare!

In 1290, villagers in Ramsey were responsible for taxes on 365,000 eels per year. 365k!

That takes a lot of time. Time *you* use in messing about on Twitter! 1/3
🗃️🧪
Meme. Medieval peasants from Monty Python's Holy Grail, digging in the dirt. They are wearing grimy, patched clothes and they look *exactly* like you think medieval peasants should look. One of them is looking down at his work, but the other, the one on the right, is looking up at you. His face seems contemplative and relatively calm. However, If you've seen the movie, you know what's coming: you're about to learn that they don't have a lord, and that they're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. But what they're not telling you is that their entire internal economy is built on eels. Because...well...why wouldn't it be? Neither man is named in the movie, and that's a shame. We should call them Lycromae and Aelfrovark. You can decide who is who, though the fellow on the right feels like an Alefrovark to me. Meme text reads: "We've only got time for Facebook"
November 5, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
anitamargarita.bsky.social
Always read the alt text
greenleejw.bsky.social Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 5d
Did medieval peasants have more free time than you? No way! Think of all the eels they had to catch & prepare!

In 1290, villagers in Ramsey were responsible for taxes on 365,000 eels per year. 365k!

That takes a lot of time. Time *you* use in messing about on Twitter! 1/3
🗃️🧪
Meme. Medieval peasants from Monty Python's Holy Grail, digging in the dirt. They are wearing grimy, patched clothes and they look *exactly* like you think medieval peasants should look. One of them is looking down at his work, but the other, the one on the right, is looking up at you. His face seems contemplative and relatively calm. However, If you've seen the movie, you know what's coming: you're about to learn that they don't have a lord, and that they're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. But what they're not telling you is that their entire internal economy is built on eels. Because...well...why wouldn't it be? Neither man is named in the movie, and that's a shame. We should call them Lycromae and Aelfrovark. You can decide who is who, though the fellow on the right feels like an Alefrovark to me. Meme text reads: "We've only got time for Facebook"
November 5, 2025 at 6:20 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
Did medieval peasants have more free time than you? No way! Think of all the eels they had to catch & prepare!

In 1290, villagers in Ramsey were responsible for taxes on 365,000 eels per year. 365k!

That takes a lot of time. Time *you* use in messing about on Twitter! 1/3
🗃️🧪
Meme. Medieval peasants from Monty Python's Holy Grail, digging in the dirt. They are wearing grimy, patched clothes and they look *exactly* like you think medieval peasants should look. One of them is looking down at his work, but the other, the one on the right, is looking up at you. His face seems contemplative and relatively calm. However, If you've seen the movie, you know what's coming: you're about to learn that they don't have a lord, and that they're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. But what they're not telling you is that their entire internal economy is built on eels. Because...well...why wouldn't it be? Neither man is named in the movie, and that's a shame. We should call them Lycromae and Aelfrovark. You can decide who is who, though the fellow on the right feels like an Alefrovark to me. Meme text reads: "We've only got time for Facebook"
November 5, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
greenleejw.bsky.social
It's election day! To all my fellow US folks: make sure you get out & vote. The eels demand it of you.

Eels, of course, are citizens of the world. So they can't vote in local elections, and they have to rely on you to do it for them.

Even if you won't vote for you, be a proxy vote for an eel!
🗃️🧪
Meme. Photograph of a New Zealand longfin eel underwater, looking expectantly at the camera. Despite not being a US citizen, this eel (we'll call him Vestiboing) is very concerned with the state of our politics. US policy sets the table for the world, and Vestaboing knows that only one of the major parties has anything like a passing interest in environmental conservation. Does he stand behind everything the Democratic Party does or says? Of course not. Does he wish for better national leadership in this time of trial and doubt? For sure. But will he let the perfect be the enemy of the good? No. He will not. That is not the way with eels. Nor should it be the way with any of us. Vestaboing's blue eye implore you. His fins float on currents of expectation. His nostrils are perky and hopeful. Don't crush his heart. Cast your vote for eels. For Vestaboing. Meme text reads: "It's eelection day! Go vote!"
November 4, 2025 at 6:17 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
It's election day! To all my fellow US folks: make sure you get out & vote. The eels demand it of you.

Eels, of course, are citizens of the world. So they can't vote in local elections, and they have to rely on you to do it for them.

Even if you won't vote for you, be a proxy vote for an eel!
🗃️🧪
Meme. Photograph of a New Zealand longfin eel underwater, looking expectantly at the camera. Despite not being a US citizen, this eel (we'll call him Vestiboing) is very concerned with the state of our politics. US policy sets the table for the world, and Vestaboing knows that only one of the major parties has anything like a passing interest in environmental conservation. Does he stand behind everything the Democratic Party does or says? Of course not. Does he wish for better national leadership in this time of trial and doubt? For sure. But will he let the perfect be the enemy of the good? No. He will not. That is not the way with eels. Nor should it be the way with any of us. Vestaboing's blue eye implore you. His fins float on currents of expectation. His nostrils are perky and hopeful. Don't crush his heart. Cast your vote for eels. For Vestaboing. Meme text reads: "It's eelection day! Go vote!"
November 4, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
greenleejw.bsky.social
I'm a few days late, but I've finally gotten my historical map article for Oct. done! This month, paying subscribers to my patreon page get to learn about the 13th C. Psalter Map: a small map that punches above its weight with dragons, cannibalism, and so much more!
www.patreon.com/posts/psalte...
Psalter of the Earth | Surprised Eel Maps
Get more from Surprised Eel Maps on Patreon
www.patreon.com
November 4, 2025 at 1:45 AM
greenleejw.bsky.social
I'm a few days late, but I've finally gotten my historical map article for Oct. done! This month, paying subscribers to my patreon page get to learn about the 13th C. Psalter Map: a small map that punches above its weight with dragons, cannibalism, and so much more!
www.patreon.com/posts/psalte...
Psalter of the Earth | Surprised Eel Maps
Get more from Surprised Eel Maps on Patreon
www.patreon.com
November 4, 2025 at 1:45 AM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
greenleejw.bsky.social
It's Monday. Mondays are hard. Perhaps some eels will help?

In c. 1500, Roger de Cailli promised 1,500 eels a year to the priory of Castleacre if the monks would pray for the souls of his mother, father, & 2 departed wives.

Remember folks: eels are the way out of purgatory. Even on Mondays.
🗃️🧪
Meme. Medieval painting of an angel leading a group of sinners out of hell. There are 5 sinners, all naked and surrounded by flames. The angel (who is clothed) is reaching a hand out to them. They're grasping for it, and you would, too. There are 4 men & 1 woman, so she's probably thrilled to get out of there. Jerry keeps hitting on her, and he won't take a hint. Hell is depicted here as the mouth of a giant dark beast. It looks a little like a cat head. The mouth and the ears and the space behind the eyes are all filled with flames. The beast has four sharp fangs at the front of its mouth, but the rest of its teach look rather human. The beast is looking upwards, like a dog groaking for scraps, and it's wide open maw makes it look like it's at the dentist. Despite having a portal to hell inside it's head, the beast looks friendly. If it sidled up to you in a park, and looked at you with those eyes, you'd pet it. Meme text reads: "Find someone you love enough to save with your eels"
November 3, 2025 at 5:56 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
It's Monday. Mondays are hard. Perhaps some eels will help?

In c. 1500, Roger de Cailli promised 1,500 eels a year to the priory of Castleacre if the monks would pray for the souls of his mother, father, & 2 departed wives.

Remember folks: eels are the way out of purgatory. Even on Mondays.
🗃️🧪
Meme. Medieval painting of an angel leading a group of sinners out of hell. There are 5 sinners, all naked and surrounded by flames. The angel (who is clothed) is reaching a hand out to them. They're grasping for it, and you would, too. There are 4 men & 1 woman, so she's probably thrilled to get out of there. Jerry keeps hitting on her, and he won't take a hint. Hell is depicted here as the mouth of a giant dark beast. It looks a little like a cat head. The mouth and the ears and the space behind the eyes are all filled with flames. The beast has four sharp fangs at the front of its mouth, but the rest of its teach look rather human. The beast is looking upwards, like a dog groaking for scraps, and it's wide open maw makes it look like it's at the dentist. Despite having a portal to hell inside it's head, the beast looks friendly. If it sidled up to you in a park, and looked at you with those eyes, you'd pet it. Meme text reads: "Find someone you love enough to save with your eels"
November 3, 2025 at 5:56 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
It IS the most lucrative wildlife crime, and it ain't even close, folks.
November 3, 2025 at 5:08 AM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
greenleejw.bsky.social
A little gargoyle drawing from this evening!
Art. Black and white ink pen drawing of a small monster with big feet and long toe nails. It's standing on two legs, and has a head shaped a bit like an egg with a Dennis the Menace haircut. It might have a hunched back, or its arm might be raised high at the shoulder.
November 1, 2025 at 5:02 AM
greenleejw.bsky.social
A little gargoyle drawing from this evening!
Art. Black and white ink pen drawing of a small monster with big feet and long toe nails. It's standing on two legs, and has a head shaped a bit like an egg with a Dennis the Menace haircut. It might have a hunched back, or its arm might be raised high at the shoulder.
November 1, 2025 at 5:02 AM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
greenleejw.bsky.social
It's Halloween! Let's look at some scary eels!

Susan Hill's 1983 horror novel THE WOMAN IN BLACK, takes place at the secluded & haunted Eel Marsh House. A dark & tortured estate, set in a fen full of eels!

Much creepier than setting the stage at Lamb Meadows. 1/6
🗃️🧪
Meme. Still from film "The Woman in Black" showing a figure looking at an old house through the fog. The figure is likely a man, and we'll call him Throckmotion. It's an unfortunate name to give a child, and we can assume that he grew up to be an unfortunate adult. Here, our dude Throck (you would go by Throck, too) is standing between a pair or rusted, broken iron gates, looking into the overgrown and abandoned estate that stands between him and the (obviously haunted) house. You can imagine the ghostly flickers of wan faces just behind the dark glass of the house's windows. Somewhere, a raven cries in delighted rage. Will our man go forward? Will he not? With a name like Throckmortion, it's impossible to tell. Conscious doth make cowards of us all, but I'm not convinced that Throck has one. This looks a bit like an episode of House Hunters International that's gone off the rails. Meme text reads: "I thought you said 'Eel Marshmallow House'"
October 31, 2025 at 5:13 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
It's Halloween! Let's look at some scary eels!

Susan Hill's 1983 horror novel THE WOMAN IN BLACK, takes place at the secluded & haunted Eel Marsh House. A dark & tortured estate, set in a fen full of eels!

Much creepier than setting the stage at Lamb Meadows. 1/6
🗃️🧪
Meme. Still from film "The Woman in Black" showing a figure looking at an old house through the fog. The figure is likely a man, and we'll call him Throckmotion. It's an unfortunate name to give a child, and we can assume that he grew up to be an unfortunate adult. Here, our dude Throck (you would go by Throck, too) is standing between a pair or rusted, broken iron gates, looking into the overgrown and abandoned estate that stands between him and the (obviously haunted) house. You can imagine the ghostly flickers of wan faces just behind the dark glass of the house's windows. Somewhere, a raven cries in delighted rage. Will our man go forward? Will he not? With a name like Throckmortion, it's impossible to tell. Conscious doth make cowards of us all, but I'm not convinced that Throck has one. This looks a bit like an episode of House Hunters International that's gone off the rails. Meme text reads: "I thought you said 'Eel Marshmallow House'"
October 31, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
greenleejw.bsky.social
In 1107, King Henry's butler founded the abbey of Wymondham, & he donated 2 things to help the monks get by:

1. the right to salvage shipwrecks on a nearby coast
2. a rent of 2,000 eels per year

Time for an eel picnic on the beach!
🗃️🧪
Meme. Medieval painting showing a shipwreck. The ship in question is upside down near a green shore, and the passengers are falling out. There are three figures in the process of tumbling from the ship. They are all wearing plate armor, and seem destined to sink right to the bottom. There is a fourth figure, wearing red, swimming in the water. He is also wearing armor, so he's probably screwed too. Unlike the others, he's wearing a crown. So he is royally screwed. There are three other ships, loaded down with warriors in armor, standing just off shore in the roads. They're watching the disaster unfolding, but they can't do anything about it. The king's fate is his own. The three ships could represent the trinity, or they could represent the 3 out of 4 dentists who agree. And the 4th? Well. You can see what happened to that guy. If there are eels lurking in the shallows (as is likely) they are about to have a wonderful feast. Meme text reads: "The wreck of the Edmund Fitzgereeld"
October 30, 2025 at 4:22 PM