Humm1ngbirds
@humm1ngbirds.bsky.social
Like a rat on the Titanic, y’know?
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
being bald is a moral failing
January 7, 2025 at 8:45 PM
being bald is a moral failing
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
Violently chilling out
January 5, 2025 at 5:16 AM
Violently chilling out
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
successfully partied like it was 1999 (at my parents’ house, scared of computer)
January 1, 2025 at 6:11 AM
successfully partied like it was 1999 (at my parents’ house, scared of computer)
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
just opening up my normal computer and hittin the ctrl draw button, wyd?
December 23, 2024 at 7:25 PM
just opening up my normal computer and hittin the ctrl draw button, wyd?
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
Interviewer: Can you explain this gap in your resume?
Me: I was in an Ikea
Me: I was in an Ikea
December 20, 2024 at 7:51 AM
Interviewer: Can you explain this gap in your resume?
Me: I was in an Ikea
Me: I was in an Ikea
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Just learned how to follow simple instructions what’s good
December 19, 2024 at 9:51 PM
Just learned how to follow simple instructions what’s good
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Lying is so awesome. Crafting reality is usually the provenance of gods and kings, but with one word, I can be the most interesting person at a party, the highest ranking person at a meeting or the least qualified person currently operating heavy machinery.
December 19, 2024 at 6:06 PM
Lying is so awesome. Crafting reality is usually the provenance of gods and kings, but with one word, I can be the most interesting person at a party, the highest ranking person at a meeting or the least qualified person currently operating heavy machinery.
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
The lady that tells me my headphone batteries are low is British and I used to hate it but I’ve realized that should be how I experience disappointment and austerity
December 18, 2024 at 12:23 AM
The lady that tells me my headphone batteries are low is British and I used to hate it but I’ve realized that should be how I experience disappointment and austerity
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OOP. One of my neighbors just cussed out her man so bad in the hallway about not taking out the trash, I started tidying up my own living room.
December 16, 2024 at 10:10 PM
OOP. One of my neighbors just cussed out her man so bad in the hallway about not taking out the trash, I started tidying up my own living room.
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
┏┓
┃┃╱╲ In this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we love
▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
bright colors
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
┃┃╱╲ In this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we love
▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
bright colors
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
December 16, 2024 at 9:34 PM
┏┓
┃┃╱╲ In this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we love
▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
bright colors
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
┃┃╱╲ In this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we love
▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
bright colors
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
Looking over my left shoulder, I see Mom staring at me, knuckles white on the handle of her cart. I turn my head to find Nana behind the avocados, glaring. My heart pounding, I raise a hand towards the shelf. A bead of sweat falls from my forehead, hitting the floor with a splat.
December 16, 2024 at 6:54 PM
Looking over my left shoulder, I see Mom staring at me, knuckles white on the handle of her cart. I turn my head to find Nana behind the avocados, glaring. My heart pounding, I raise a hand towards the shelf. A bead of sweat falls from my forehead, hitting the floor with a splat.
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
this is such a great scam. US Postal Service texting me from a Philippines number
December 16, 2024 at 7:22 PM
this is such a great scam. US Postal Service texting me from a Philippines number
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
not a huge fan of the CIA here but in this case thank you CIA please continue keeping this from me
December 16, 2024 at 6:08 PM
not a huge fan of the CIA here but in this case thank you CIA please continue keeping this from me
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I love the drone panic because its a reminder that despite all our technology and societal advancement we're never more than one unanswered question from reverting to peasants worried we'll make the stars mad
December 15, 2024 at 12:59 PM
I love the drone panic because its a reminder that despite all our technology and societal advancement we're never more than one unanswered question from reverting to peasants worried we'll make the stars mad
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
brothers from different mothers
December 12, 2024 at 8:40 PM
brothers from different mothers
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You are free to block prominent “liberal” or “centrist” journalists who are “just asking questions” about trans kids.
In fact, some might call it your civic duty to drop kick them into the sun. 🫡
In fact, some might call it your civic duty to drop kick them into the sun. 🫡
December 6, 2024 at 7:40 PM
You are free to block prominent “liberal” or “centrist” journalists who are “just asking questions” about trans kids.
In fact, some might call it your civic duty to drop kick them into the sun. 🫡
In fact, some might call it your civic duty to drop kick them into the sun. 🫡
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
We wanted to understand what’s going on in South Korea. So we talked to three Joe Rogan listeners at an Arby’s in Harrisburg
December 6, 2024 at 2:45 AM
We wanted to understand what’s going on in South Korea. So we talked to three Joe Rogan listeners at an Arby’s in Harrisburg
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
Me *orders our food fluently in Italian to impress my date*
McDonalds drive-thru employee: what
McDonalds drive-thru employee: what
December 5, 2024 at 6:04 PM
Me *orders our food fluently in Italian to impress my date*
McDonalds drive-thru employee: what
McDonalds drive-thru employee: what
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Me (tying my shoes): I don't have to outrun the bear.
Friend (smiling): You just have to outrun me?
Me: I don't have to do that either.
Friend: But--
Me: I SAID I DON'T HAVE TO DO SHIT, KYLE
Friend (smiling): You just have to outrun me?
Me: I don't have to do that either.
Friend: But--
Me: I SAID I DON'T HAVE TO DO SHIT, KYLE
December 3, 2024 at 9:02 PM
Me (tying my shoes): I don't have to outrun the bear.
Friend (smiling): You just have to outrun me?
Me: I don't have to do that either.
Friend: But--
Me: I SAID I DON'T HAVE TO DO SHIT, KYLE
Friend (smiling): You just have to outrun me?
Me: I don't have to do that either.
Friend: But--
Me: I SAID I DON'T HAVE TO DO SHIT, KYLE
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
ME: I feel like Bluesky has given me a new leash on life
HER: you mean lease on life?
ME: [endlessly scrolling on my phone] huh
HER: you mean lease on life?
ME: [endlessly scrolling on my phone] huh
December 2, 2024 at 12:29 AM
ME: I feel like Bluesky has given me a new leash on life
HER: you mean lease on life?
ME: [endlessly scrolling on my phone] huh
HER: you mean lease on life?
ME: [endlessly scrolling on my phone] huh
Reposted by Humm1ngbirds
HER: you didn't use my shampoo again, did you?
ME: *shakes my head no but the luxurious bounce of my hair says otherwise*
ME: *shakes my head no but the luxurious bounce of my hair says otherwise*
December 1, 2024 at 3:34 PM
HER: you didn't use my shampoo again, did you?
ME: *shakes my head no but the luxurious bounce of my hair says otherwise*
ME: *shakes my head no but the luxurious bounce of my hair says otherwise*