Flynn
@flynntoff.bsky.social
Every time you shake hands with a dog you are entering into a dog contract whose stipulations you could never understand
I had to tell Chris Tarrant that smoking wasn't permitted in the outside plants area at the garden centre I was working at and then he put out his roll up and popped it back in his baccy tin
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
December 29, 2025 at 7:34 PM
I had to tell Chris Tarrant that smoking wasn't permitted in the outside plants area at the garden centre I was working at and then he put out his roll up and popped it back in his baccy tin
how i'm turning up to the blue sky christmas party
December 23, 2025 at 11:45 PM
how i'm turning up to the blue sky christmas party
I think I know a joke about Gettier cases but actually I don't
I've got a joke about the Ship of Theseus, but I'm not sure its original
I've got a joke about the Shirt of Nessus but I'm not sure I can pull it off
December 8, 2025 at 7:12 PM
I think I know a joke about Gettier cases but actually I don't
Reposted by Flynn
Having carefully calculated that there is absolutely nothing in the budget, floated, mooted or recommended that isn't going to hit me (rightly, though less rightly for some options) I'd just like the love shared a bit so real money got raised and the country visibly got better as a result.
November 11, 2025 at 7:46 PM
Having carefully calculated that there is absolutely nothing in the budget, floated, mooted or recommended that isn't going to hit me (rightly, though less rightly for some options) I'd just like the love shared a bit so real money got raised and the country visibly got better as a result.
On Sunday I was in an Airbnb and had an issue with my car and the neighbour, a stranger, spent nearly two hours of his Sunday afternoon helping me fix it and then this afternoon I spent a couple of hours helping a young person I don't know get into my profession because it is good to help people
It's important to remember that fascists work to foster a dog-eat-dog atmosphere where people look out for themselves and throw others under the bus. We don't have to live this way or think this way, no matter what the fascists say. Through all of this, it's important to help others when we're able.
September 9, 2025 at 9:53 PM
On Sunday I was in an Airbnb and had an issue with my car and the neighbour, a stranger, spent nearly two hours of his Sunday afternoon helping me fix it and then this afternoon I spent a couple of hours helping a young person I don't know get into my profession because it is good to help people
You can't even spot Klingon Birds of Prey on sensors these days, because of cloak
You can't even smell off milk these days because of boak
You can't even eat peanuts these days because of choke.
August 31, 2025 at 11:57 AM
You can't even spot Klingon Birds of Prey on sensors these days, because of cloak
Wanks with bigger and more robust counter-protests
August 24, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Wanks with bigger and more robust counter-protests
Offect.
Affect.
*effect
August 15, 2025 at 10:53 AM
Offect.
Reposted by Flynn
The cause of all the problems in the Alien films isn't the aliens. It's capitalism.
August 14, 2025 at 7:55 PM
The cause of all the problems in the Alien films isn't the aliens. It's capitalism.
Just verified my age by being able to fairly accurately replicate the dial-up login sound
Just verified my age by holding up an AOL disc that I use as a coaster.
July 24, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Just verified my age by being able to fairly accurately replicate the dial-up login sound
1984
HARD ❌
It was a bright, cold day in April and the clocks were striking thirteen
EASY ✅
It was lunchtime
HARD ❌
It was a bright, cold day in April and the clocks were striking thirteen
EASY ✅
It was lunchtime
A TALE OF TWO CITIES
HARD ❌
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
EASY ✅
It was 4.20pm, it was 4.20am
HARD ❌
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
EASY ✅
It was 4.20pm, it was 4.20am
THE BELL JAR
HARD ❌
It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn't know what I was doing in New York
EASY ✅
That summer was sizzling, and so were the Rosenbergs
HARD ❌
It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn't know what I was doing in New York
EASY ✅
That summer was sizzling, and so were the Rosenbergs
June 22, 2025 at 4:01 PM
1984
HARD ❌
It was a bright, cold day in April and the clocks were striking thirteen
EASY ✅
It was lunchtime
HARD ❌
It was a bright, cold day in April and the clocks were striking thirteen
EASY ✅
It was lunchtime
I don't agree with all of the calls regarding whether the original 150 are cunts or sound, but this is an important bit of work
May 29, 2025 at 10:35 PM
I don't agree with all of the calls regarding whether the original 150 are cunts or sound, but this is an important bit of work
While running down the garden, I got caught up in a fantasy and jumped to head an imaginary football, the washing line I hadn't seen caught me right across the bridge of the nose flipping me onto my back
What's the stupidest way you've hurt yourself?
Oh I'm so glad you asked! I knocked myself out with a frozen bag of omelettes.
Oh I'm so glad you asked! I knocked myself out with a frozen bag of omelettes.
May 20, 2025 at 1:34 PM
While running down the garden, I got caught up in a fantasy and jumped to head an imaginary football, the washing line I hadn't seen caught me right across the bridge of the nose flipping me onto my back
Introduce yourself with some jobs you have done apart from what you do now:
In no particular order
1. Cocktail barman
2. Wetherspoons barman
3. Real ale barman
4. Trainee accountant
5. Philosophy tutor
6. Gardener
In no particular order
1. Cocktail barman
2. Wetherspoons barman
3. Real ale barman
4. Trainee accountant
5. Philosophy tutor
6. Gardener
Introduce yourself with some jobs you have done apart from what you do now:
1) Newspaper editor
2) Telephone debt collector
3) Construction economist and policy
4) TV show host
5) Business development manager
6) Fundraiser
7) PR and marketing exec
8) Double glazing salesman
9) Cocktail barman
1) Newspaper editor
2) Telephone debt collector
3) Construction economist and policy
4) TV show host
5) Business development manager
6) Fundraiser
7) PR and marketing exec
8) Double glazing salesman
9) Cocktail barman
Introduce yourself with some jobs you have done apart from what you do now.
1. Assembling spectacles
2. butcher's shop assistant
3. working a tap
4. catering
5. student dogsbody (assistant)
6. tutor
1. Assembling spectacles
2. butcher's shop assistant
3. working a tap
4. catering
5. student dogsbody (assistant)
6. tutor
May 19, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Introduce yourself with some jobs you have done apart from what you do now:
In no particular order
1. Cocktail barman
2. Wetherspoons barman
3. Real ale barman
4. Trainee accountant
5. Philosophy tutor
6. Gardener
In no particular order
1. Cocktail barman
2. Wetherspoons barman
3. Real ale barman
4. Trainee accountant
5. Philosophy tutor
6. Gardener
Nevermind airplanes you'd accept as a bribe.
What about ones you'd regard as a threat?
What about ones you'd regard as a threat?
May 15, 2025 at 7:31 AM
Nevermind airplanes you'd accept as a bribe.
What about ones you'd regard as a threat?
What about ones you'd regard as a threat?
I had done this genuinely just as an enquiry and Google suggested that people are always putting their thumbs in their anuses
April 24, 2025 at 7:16 PM
I had done this genuinely just as an enquiry and Google suggested that people are always putting their thumbs in their anuses
Fund and run a hovercraft bus service up the Thames from Teddington to Greenwich with stops at Richmond, Kew/Chiswick, Putney/Fulham, Vauxhall, Westminster, Blackfriars, London Bridge, Tower Hill and then I don't know where after that. Plus an express Richmond-Westminster service
If you were a Bezos or Musk level of rich what frivolous thing would you do?
I don’t want all the goody cure world hunger/cure cancer stuff.
I want to hear the proper mad shit.
I don’t want all the goody cure world hunger/cure cancer stuff.
I want to hear the proper mad shit.
April 24, 2025 at 9:51 AM
Fund and run a hovercraft bus service up the Thames from Teddington to Greenwich with stops at Richmond, Kew/Chiswick, Putney/Fulham, Vauxhall, Westminster, Blackfriars, London Bridge, Tower Hill and then I don't know where after that. Plus an express Richmond-Westminster service
Reposted by Flynn
The Matrix released 26 years ago today 🤯 In its honour, here it is, but all the Agents are Mr Blobby.
March 24, 2025 at 9:11 AM
The Matrix released 26 years ago today 🤯 In its honour, here it is, but all the Agents are Mr Blobby.
NAAA NAAA NAAA
NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA
NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA
GEORDIIII8UIES
NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA
NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA
GEORDIIII8UIES
March 16, 2025 at 10:47 PM
NAAA NAAA NAAA
NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA
NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA
GEORDIIII8UIES
NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA
NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA
GEORDIIII8UIES
Styscraper 🐷🏗️ porcine physics game
Build a tower of junk and rise high above the muck!
vole.wtf
March 9, 2025 at 7:36 PM
@profanity.accountant have I even posted enough to register
March 8, 2025 at 12:34 PM
@profanity.accountant have I even posted enough to register
This is just obvious nonsense, my work were generous with paternity leave, well over statutory minimum, and it wasn't enough to adjust, also I liked spending time with my kids, I didn't want it to end, also its a few weeks out of a whole life, also what the fuck guy
February 5, 2025 at 10:47 AM
This is just obvious nonsense, my work were generous with paternity leave, well over statutory minimum, and it wasn't enough to adjust, also I liked spending time with my kids, I didn't want it to end, also its a few weeks out of a whole life, also what the fuck guy
Reposted by Flynn
I’m in Newcastle to run the 10k next Saturday. I don’t suppose anyone knows of a way I can beg, steal or borrow to get tickets for the Newcastle-Bournemouth match at 1230?!
I’m a Newcastle fan but haven’t been since we beat Wimbledon 6-1 and vinnie jones went in goal!
I’m a Newcastle fan but haven’t been since we beat Wimbledon 6-1 and vinnie jones went in goal!
January 10, 2025 at 10:19 PM
I’m in Newcastle to run the 10k next Saturday. I don’t suppose anyone knows of a way I can beg, steal or borrow to get tickets for the Newcastle-Bournemouth match at 1230?!
I’m a Newcastle fan but haven’t been since we beat Wimbledon 6-1 and vinnie jones went in goal!
I’m a Newcastle fan but haven’t been since we beat Wimbledon 6-1 and vinnie jones went in goal!