Eli Balin
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elibalin.bsky.social
Eli Balin
@elibalin.bsky.social
I'm bad at social media!
Failed the Little Drummer Boy Challenge two weeks before Thanksgiving thanks to an Etsy ad on Youtube. Jerks.
November 16, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Reposted by Eli Balin
The amount of stupidly needless and needlessly stupid applications of this dumbass technology is legitimately impressive, like they’re TRYING to be terrible. It’s possible that sometimes something actually helpful is stumbled upon and that person gets yelled at
November 14, 2025 at 10:02 PM
DB Cooper was the Lindbergh Baby.
Haven't figured out what should replace Polybius as my "one conspiracy theory that I know is BS but believe anyway." My interim has been "the Lindbergh baby is still out there" but I'm gonna need to come up with smth slightly less absurd before the impending centennial of that kidnapping.
November 14, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Reposted by Eli Balin
[To the tune of Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison]

🎵Baba Yaga
🎵Walking down the street
🎵Baba Yaga
🎵House with chicken feet
🎵Baba Yaga
November 14, 2025 at 1:24 PM
November 14, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Reposted by Eli Balin
Also, very important:
November 12, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Reposted by Eli Balin
Was having sex in the blue whale wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all that that sort of thing was frowned upon. Because I’ve worked in a lot of museums and I tell you people do that all the time.
November 12, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Reposted by Eli Balin
Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage
November 10, 2025 at 5:02 AM
Reposted by Eli Balin
November 8, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Thread: $TSLA isn't a legitimate business; it's a charismatic death cult. Or an elaborate con job. Or both. Probably both.
Most of the Tesla shareholder proposals are like "Tesla is an incredible company, but maybe we should make sure we have some basic accountability or make sure we aren't exploiting child labor" and the board recommends against all of them
November 6, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Reposted by Eli Balin
Wow! 😮🤩
There's a new interactive map of Every Known Road in the Roman Empire!! 🤓

itiner-e.org

We might have to have a lie-down.
November 6, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Staten Island inventing whole new ways of demonstrating that they suck.
November 6, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Anytime you're ready, Alan.
If you’re still in line, STAY IN LINE
November 5, 2025 at 3:12 AM
November 3, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Reposted by Eli Balin
Actually, seeing a man of color, getting scared, and calling The Police, is pretty typical racist behavior
October 30, 2025 at 2:35 PM
Head of Vecna As A Service
The funniest possible hobby elon could get into next is destructive brain uploading, and literally pulling a Calvin Sylveste doing a theranos-style scam on a few dozen other billionaires who are completely convinced they're gonna be made immortal.
October 25, 2025 at 1:03 PM
Reposted by Eli Balin
Oh my god some fucking tech dingdong posted this on Twitter with the caption "AI games are going to be amazing" totally seriously, you have to watch it. You have to. In full screen.
October 24, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Reposted by Eli Balin
I fucking knew it.
October 22, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Reposted by Eli Balin
lmao god i love linkedin
October 21, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Reposted by Eli Balin
Ever seen a 750-pound muskox face off with a 210-pound pumpkin? 💥 Hudson did, and won! 🏆 Catch more pumpkin-smashing, leaf-crunching, fall fun during #ZooBoo, October 18 & 19. 🎃🐾
October 16, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Reposted by Eli Balin
I am merely aiding the police in their inquiries, it is simply a way of passing the time for me, and the constables, they are gracious enough to accept my assistance, all unpaid, of course. If you, too, will humor me by joining the other guests in the parlor I would like to share some of my findings
This photo accompanying a news story about the heist at the Louvre is perfection.
October 20, 2025 at 1:59 AM
women don't like the vehicle

youtu.be/l9YYKQ2Ek4c?...
October 16, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Whoa. Fewer than 20 questions to get there.
October 16, 2025 at 1:20 PM
Reposted by Eli Balin
God keep me from ever completing anything.
October 9, 2025 at 10:47 AM
Reposted by Eli Balin
In case anyone has never seen the commercial that Terry Pratchett said inspired him (sort of) while writing Good Omens:
October 5, 2025 at 12:52 PM