Felonious Monk 📚
@thefeloniousmonk.com
Forever forlorn poet. Bipolar. Dad joking Daddy Dom. Heart of a poet, appetite of a beast. Vulgar and respectful per @halfbakedrhymes.com. Says fuck a lot. 50/50 earnestposting / shitposting. DMs open. 18+ MDNI.
Connect: linktr.ee/thefeloniousmonk
Connect: linktr.ee/thefeloniousmonk
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Felonious Monk 📚
@thefeloniousmonk.com
· Oct 11
Hi! I'm Monk. Whatever you followed me for, you should know I post a lot of things that aren't that. I'm delightfully obscene, and always happy to answer questions about kink. I also write poetry, and am working on my first novel. I love art and food and nudity, often at the same time. 1/2
I like Greek cheese in my food, but don't go overboard. It's not like a kink or anything. It's just a little feta-ish.
December 25, 2025 at 10:58 PM
I like Greek cheese in my food, but don't go overboard. It's not like a kink or anything. It's just a little feta-ish.
Reposted by Felonious Monk 📚
I don't know how I feel about that.
Jesus didn't even ask me if that was okay?
Is that why he changed my water to wine? I just thought he was being generous.
Jesus didn't even ask me if that was okay?
Is that why he changed my water to wine? I just thought he was being generous.
December 25, 2025 at 10:45 PM
I don't know how I feel about that.
Jesus didn't even ask me if that was okay?
Is that why he changed my water to wine? I just thought he was being generous.
Jesus didn't even ask me if that was okay?
Is that why he changed my water to wine? I just thought he was being generous.
Reposted by Felonious Monk 📚
I suppose I should return the favor.
December 25, 2025 at 8:10 PM
I suppose I should return the favor.
I didn't give a shit about plating. Everything came out banging.
December 25, 2025 at 9:56 PM
I didn't give a shit about plating. Everything came out banging.
I suppose I should return the favor.
December 25, 2025 at 8:10 PM
I suppose I should return the favor.
Big fish, small pond, so to speak.
it’s crazy to think that all of us were technically the best sperm. doesn’t seem right.
December 25, 2025 at 7:58 PM
Big fish, small pond, so to speak.
Hell yeah. My Christmas food tribe.
meanwhile, @smokedaddy.bsky.social is working on prime rib for 11 (slathered in compound butter with fresh herbs).
December 25, 2025 at 7:58 PM
Hell yeah. My Christmas food tribe.
As a big burly guy with a white beard, I definitely do the spanking.
Today on Christmas:
If I was a big old guy with a big burly white beard… would you still be yelling at me?
Or would you be spanking my bare butt, balls and back?
Think about that for one second.
If I was a big old guy with a big burly white beard… would you still be yelling at me?
Or would you be spanking my bare butt, balls and back?
Think about that for one second.
December 25, 2025 at 6:19 PM
As a big burly guy with a white beard, I definitely do the spanking.
Grilling a whole ass beef tenderloin on Christmas, as one does.
December 25, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Grilling a whole ass beef tenderloin on Christmas, as one does.
Buche de Noel Dich?
a man is blowing flames out of his mouth while playing a musical instrument
Alt: a man is blowing flames out of his mouth while playing a musical instrument
media.tenor.com
December 25, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Buche de Noel Dich?
Thinking hard now about a dish called "Coup de foie gras".
Very intrigued by a local real estate listing that includes not one but TWO 'chicken coups.'
December 25, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Thinking hard now about a dish called "Coup de foie gras".
Reposted by Felonious Monk 📚
from me and mine to you and yours ♡
December 25, 2025 at 2:02 PM
from me and mine to you and yours ♡
Dyeing my balls red and green for the Christmas pics.
December 25, 2025 at 2:02 PM
Dyeing my balls red and green for the Christmas pics.
It wouldn't be a Bluesky Christmas if someone wasn't main-charactering themself over leaving the platform while their commenters point and laugh.
December 25, 2025 at 1:53 PM
It wouldn't be a Bluesky Christmas if someone wasn't main-charactering themself over leaving the platform while their commenters point and laugh.
Merry Christmas to all who celebrate opening up your box for the goodies inside.
December 25, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Merry Christmas to all who celebrate opening up your box for the goodies inside.
Truth.
The amusing thing about when all your kids are teenagers is that on Christmas morning you’re up, showered, and dressed before they even get out of bed
December 25, 2025 at 1:32 PM
Truth.
Leslie Hall deserves a full watch through. Watch out for her body rolls.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1c2...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1c2...
December 24, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Leslie Hall deserves a full watch through. Watch out for her body rolls.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1c2...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1c2...
What the right assumes is happening on the left.
December 24, 2025 at 3:08 PM
What the right assumes is happening on the left.
So apparently "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" is not about a Wiccan threesome with a Furry and a human furniture enthusiast, and my disappointment is immeasurable.
December 23, 2025 at 9:40 PM
So apparently "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" is not about a Wiccan threesome with a Furry and a human furniture enthusiast, and my disappointment is immeasurable.
Reposted by Felonious Monk 📚
For my SAD tribe.
December 23, 2025 at 2:08 AM
For my SAD tribe.
For my SAD tribe.
December 23, 2025 at 2:08 AM
For my SAD tribe.
This morning I thought to myself, "Sure, it's a Monday, but it's two days before Christmas. Today will probably be chill and not have any major network outage issues."
a woman in a nurse 's uniform says that was a lie in front of a lamp .
Alt: a woman in a nurse 's uniform says that was a lie in front of a lamp .
media.tenor.com
December 22, 2025 at 8:44 PM
This morning I thought to myself, "Sure, it's a Monday, but it's two days before Christmas. Today will probably be chill and not have any major network outage issues."
Reposted by Felonious Monk 📚
Every Poe song makes me feel like I'm a ghost in an empty house masturbating to memories of a life I didn't live.
God I love them.
God I love them.
December 22, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Every Poe song makes me feel like I'm a ghost in an empty house masturbating to memories of a life I didn't live.
God I love them.
God I love them.
Shoving a rotten banana up your ass probably feels like pooping backwards.
December 22, 2025 at 2:44 PM
Shoving a rotten banana up your ass probably feels like pooping backwards.
Reposted by Felonious Monk 📚
if you stand beneath a big enough clump of mistletoe they have to eat you out
December 22, 2025 at 12:08 PM
if you stand beneath a big enough clump of mistletoe they have to eat you out