Satorii Hunter
@dustintransigent.bsky.social
bartender, egg merchant. enjoys skiing, baseball, hockey, NFL, NBA, dance music, consumer tech, law & policy, food & drinks, and shitposting
you've just opened a star trek-themed restaurant
what are you calling it?
Gagh & Gather
what are you calling it?
Gagh & Gather
you've just opened up a star trek-themed restaurant
what are you calling it?
It's a coffee bar called Bean Me Up
what are you calling it?
It's a coffee bar called Bean Me Up
you've just opened up a star trek-themed restaurant
what are you calling it?
QUARK'S
I even have a cool jingle ready
what are you calling it?
QUARK'S
I even have a cool jingle ready
December 27, 2025 at 5:56 AM
you've just opened a star trek-themed restaurant
what are you calling it?
Gagh & Gather
what are you calling it?
Gagh & Gather
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
Describe your Bluesky account in a single image
December 27, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Describe your Bluesky account in a single image
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
why does the oven say piss…
December 27, 2025 at 2:13 AM
why does the oven say piss…
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
Be jealous of the pop tart that is consumed, because all they want is to be eaten. That is their only goal in life.
Weep for those that live, because they didn’t reach their dream.
Weep for those that live, because they didn’t reach their dream.
All the ceremonial stuff is great, but is anyone giving a thought to how the Pop Tart has already seen its last sunset?
December 27, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Be jealous of the pop tart that is consumed, because all they want is to be eaten. That is their only goal in life.
Weep for those that live, because they didn’t reach their dream.
Weep for those that live, because they didn’t reach their dream.
"I've been called worse by better."
What's an insult you'll never forget?
December 26, 2025 at 3:44 PM
"I've been called worse by better."
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
It is every person's right to be killed by their airfryer because they tried installing fedora on it
December 26, 2025 at 2:30 PM
It is every person's right to be killed by their airfryer because they tried installing fedora on it
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
BABY KING, the leading name in 5-Pack Toddler Toothbrush
June 13, 2024 at 12:50 AM
BABY KING, the leading name in 5-Pack Toddler Toothbrush
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
December 25, 2025 at 1:46 PM
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
me: you boy what day is it today?
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
December 25, 2024 at 7:57 AM
me: you boy what day is it today?
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
July 17, 2023 at 3:57 AM
KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
If you can count it, it’s fewer, not less.
Less water. Fewer grapes. Less pizza. Fewer mistakes. Less anxiety. Fewer presents. Less snow. Fewer snowflakes. Less complex. Fewer complications.
Less water. Fewer grapes. Less pizza. Fewer mistakes. Less anxiety. Fewer presents. Less snow. Fewer snowflakes. Less complex. Fewer complications.
Let’s air those grievances. I want to hear your pettiest gripes on this the holiest of days.
December 24, 2025 at 8:40 AM
If you can count it, it’s fewer, not less.
Less water. Fewer grapes. Less pizza. Fewer mistakes. Less anxiety. Fewer presents. Less snow. Fewer snowflakes. Less complex. Fewer complications.
Less water. Fewer grapes. Less pizza. Fewer mistakes. Less anxiety. Fewer presents. Less snow. Fewer snowflakes. Less complex. Fewer complications.
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
NFL going out of their way to force-schedule 3 games on Christmas Day featuring 5 of the best teams last year only to end up with matchups with 5 teams whose season is already over and will be starting backups is the holiday spirit we all needed
December 24, 2025 at 1:28 PM
NFL going out of their way to force-schedule 3 games on Christmas Day featuring 5 of the best teams last year only to end up with matchups with 5 teams whose season is already over and will be starting backups is the holiday spirit we all needed
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
I'm sorry man, it still counts as incest if she's not technically your aunt because in her world you were never born. Chromosomes exist!
December 24, 2025 at 5:09 AM
I'm sorry man, it still counts as incest if she's not technically your aunt because in her world you were never born. Chromosomes exist!
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
The Epstein files have been updated and now include 193 GB of data and nearly 100,000 files. This includes the original version of DataSet 8 (with redaction failures), plus the re-released version.
Download the data: ddosecrets.com/article/epst...
Help us keep publishing: donorbox.org/ddosecrets
Download the data: ddosecrets.com/article/epst...
Help us keep publishing: donorbox.org/ddosecrets
December 23, 2025 at 9:35 PM
The Epstein files have been updated and now include 193 GB of data and nearly 100,000 files. This includes the original version of DataSet 8 (with redaction failures), plus the re-released version.
Download the data: ddosecrets.com/article/epst...
Help us keep publishing: donorbox.org/ddosecrets
Download the data: ddosecrets.com/article/epst...
Help us keep publishing: donorbox.org/ddosecrets
I found a pristine Ryan McMahon bobblehead at Goodwill today, so that's neat
December 23, 2025 at 8:56 PM
I found a pristine Ryan McMahon bobblehead at Goodwill today, so that's neat
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
CHOTINER: and when you're in water you
PARTICLE MAN: don't get wet, that's right.
CHOTINER: And this is because
PARTICLE MAN: the water gets me instead. It becomes particle-manish
CHOTINER: There's been some debate on this point. Triangle Man, for example
PARTICLE MAN: I think we're done here
PARTICLE MAN: don't get wet, that's right.
CHOTINER: And this is because
PARTICLE MAN: the water gets me instead. It becomes particle-manish
CHOTINER: There's been some debate on this point. Triangle Man, for example
PARTICLE MAN: I think we're done here
December 23, 2025 at 3:24 AM
CHOTINER: and when you're in water you
PARTICLE MAN: don't get wet, that's right.
CHOTINER: And this is because
PARTICLE MAN: the water gets me instead. It becomes particle-manish
CHOTINER: There's been some debate on this point. Triangle Man, for example
PARTICLE MAN: I think we're done here
PARTICLE MAN: don't get wet, that's right.
CHOTINER: And this is because
PARTICLE MAN: the water gets me instead. It becomes particle-manish
CHOTINER: There's been some debate on this point. Triangle Man, for example
PARTICLE MAN: I think we're done here
If Bari Weiss tried to kill JFK then JFK Jr. would be president
if bari weiss had tried to do 9/11 there'd be three towers now
December 23, 2025 at 5:14 AM
If Bari Weiss tried to kill JFK then JFK Jr. would be president
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
looking for a last minute gift at williams sonoma
December 22, 2025 at 9:13 PM
looking for a last minute gift at williams sonoma
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
bsky.app/profile/royt...
Somehow this makes no fucking sense and is clearly a stupid idea if *you* do this.
But when 7 billionaires do it, it becomes the basis for almost half the US stock market and the only thing keeping the economy from keeling over
Somehow this makes no fucking sense and is clearly a stupid idea if *you* do this.
But when 7 billionaires do it, it becomes the basis for almost half the US stock market and the only thing keeping the economy from keeling over
All right listen up consumers, let me break down how AI financing works for you. It's actually very simple:
See the money starts off from.. Wait
Wait one sec let me check something
Wait
See the money starts off from.. Wait
Wait one sec let me check something
Wait
December 22, 2025 at 9:25 PM
bsky.app/profile/royt...
Somehow this makes no fucking sense and is clearly a stupid idea if *you* do this.
But when 7 billionaires do it, it becomes the basis for almost half the US stock market and the only thing keeping the economy from keeling over
Somehow this makes no fucking sense and is clearly a stupid idea if *you* do this.
But when 7 billionaires do it, it becomes the basis for almost half the US stock market and the only thing keeping the economy from keeling over
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
corporate oligarch media outlets reporting on the malfeasance of other corporate oligarch media outlets isn’t the way out of this btw. give your scoops to independent reporters.
December 22, 2025 at 3:26 AM
corporate oligarch media outlets reporting on the malfeasance of other corporate oligarch media outlets isn’t the way out of this btw. give your scoops to independent reporters.
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
as foretold by the prophesy
![Managing requires certain kinds of soft skills, ones I am not confident you possess. They weren’t necessary in your cushy Wall Street Journal op-ed job, or your cushier New York Times op-ed job. They were barely required at the publication you invented, The Free Press. So now you’re the head honcho at CBS News. [highlighted text] Let’s say you decide to skip levels to directly edit a 60 Minutes story. It doesn’t even have to be a controversial story to make all hell break loose — because you have neither the credibility nor the relationships required to take this kind of work on. And what’s more, you’ve got a news division composed exclusively of ambitious piranhas below you — not your handpicked cronies, like Tyler “I wish to see Hollywood virgins” Cowen. These people have decades in television, and you have a newsletter and a history of throwing your colleagues under the bus. [end of highlight]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:j3tpb4iabrq3ukfaui6eymwf/bafkreiblgfxjkl4p7yos56wttujnqclubnwegqcdc7g74pdovoe24kzonu@jpeg)
December 22, 2025 at 3:48 AM
as foretold by the prophesy
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
Today while lying in bed scrolling social media I discovered gay woodchipping (it's not obscene) and now you need to experience it, too
www.tiktok.com/@macleanbren...
www.tiktok.com/@macleanbren...
QUEER WOODCHOPPING feat. Solly Frank!!!
TikTok video by Brendan Maclean
www.tiktok.com
December 21, 2025 at 6:10 AM
Today while lying in bed scrolling social media I discovered gay woodchipping (it's not obscene) and now you need to experience it, too
www.tiktok.com/@macleanbren...
www.tiktok.com/@macleanbren...