Satorii Hunter
@dustintransigent.bsky.social
bartender, egg merchant. enjoys skiing, baseball, hockey, NFL, NBA, dance music, consumer tech, law & policy, food & drinks, and shitposting
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
in 2025 when the u.s. navy had to report another lost plane at sea
man this is embarrassing even for the jets
December 28, 2025 at 8:10 PM
in 2025 when the u.s. navy had to report another lost plane at sea
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
This is incredibly funny. It's like a married couple sending their dog a message: take care of our household finances
December 24, 2025 at 5:25 PM
This is incredibly funny. It's like a married couple sending their dog a message: take care of our household finances
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
The Iciest Foot Bridge in Philly. Shout out to the kind runner who stopped me and said "do not go on that bridge." Took two steps on it, turned around, and left the Wissahickon.
December 28, 2025 at 7:29 PM
The Iciest Foot Bridge in Philly. Shout out to the kind runner who stopped me and said "do not go on that bridge." Took two steps on it, turned around, and left the Wissahickon.
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
Sheriffs nationwide have enormous control over jail voting access, with many restricting mail and voter guides, making it nearly impossible for incarcerated people to vote. A law in Colorado removed that discretion—and turnout has soared.
Jail Voting Soars in Colorado After State Mandates Polling Places in County Lockups
Local officials had claimed they were already giving detained people ballot access, but the first-in-the-nation mandate forced their hands and increased turnout across the state.
boltsmag.org
December 28, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Sheriffs nationwide have enormous control over jail voting access, with many restricting mail and voter guides, making it nearly impossible for incarcerated people to vote. A law in Colorado removed that discretion—and turnout has soared.
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
Our photographer Alex Kormann captured the exact moment the presses stopped for the last time in Minneapolis, ending a 158 history of locally printed newspapers.
December 28, 2025 at 3:25 PM
Our photographer Alex Kormann captured the exact moment the presses stopped for the last time in Minneapolis, ending a 158 history of locally printed newspapers.
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
If you ride bikes and you wanna really annoy rich bike guys, one of the fastest ways I’ve found is telling them that a Honey Stinger has the same macronutrient profile as a pop-tart. Happy pop-tart day or whatever.
December 27, 2025 at 4:46 PM
If you ride bikes and you wanna really annoy rich bike guys, one of the fastest ways I’ve found is telling them that a Honey Stinger has the same macronutrient profile as a pop-tart. Happy pop-tart day or whatever.
you've just opened a star trek-themed restaurant
what are you calling it?
Gagh & Gather
what are you calling it?
Gagh & Gather
you've just opened up a star trek-themed restaurant
what are you calling it?
It's a coffee bar called Bean Me Up
what are you calling it?
It's a coffee bar called Bean Me Up
you've just opened up a star trek-themed restaurant
what are you calling it?
QUARK'S
I even have a cool jingle ready
what are you calling it?
QUARK'S
I even have a cool jingle ready
December 27, 2025 at 5:56 AM
you've just opened a star trek-themed restaurant
what are you calling it?
Gagh & Gather
what are you calling it?
Gagh & Gather
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
Describe your Bluesky account in a single image
December 27, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Describe your Bluesky account in a single image
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
why does the oven say piss…
December 27, 2025 at 2:13 AM
why does the oven say piss…
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
Be jealous of the pop tart that is consumed, because all they want is to be eaten. That is their only goal in life.
Weep for those that live, because they didn’t reach their dream.
Weep for those that live, because they didn’t reach their dream.
All the ceremonial stuff is great, but is anyone giving a thought to how the Pop Tart has already seen its last sunset?
December 27, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Be jealous of the pop tart that is consumed, because all they want is to be eaten. That is their only goal in life.
Weep for those that live, because they didn’t reach their dream.
Weep for those that live, because they didn’t reach their dream.
"I've been called worse by better."
What's an insult you'll never forget?
December 26, 2025 at 3:44 PM
"I've been called worse by better."
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
It is every person's right to be killed by their airfryer because they tried installing fedora on it
December 26, 2025 at 2:30 PM
It is every person's right to be killed by their airfryer because they tried installing fedora on it
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
BABY KING, the leading name in 5-Pack Toddler Toothbrush
June 13, 2024 at 12:50 AM
BABY KING, the leading name in 5-Pack Toddler Toothbrush
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
me: you boy what day is it today?
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
December 25, 2024 at 7:57 AM
me: you boy what day is it today?
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
boy: nonces shout out of the window day.
me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
July 17, 2023 at 3:57 AM
KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
If you can count it, it’s fewer, not less.
Less water. Fewer grapes. Less pizza. Fewer mistakes. Less anxiety. Fewer presents. Less snow. Fewer snowflakes. Less complex. Fewer complications.
Less water. Fewer grapes. Less pizza. Fewer mistakes. Less anxiety. Fewer presents. Less snow. Fewer snowflakes. Less complex. Fewer complications.
Let’s air those grievances. I want to hear your pettiest gripes on this the holiest of days.
December 24, 2025 at 8:40 AM
If you can count it, it’s fewer, not less.
Less water. Fewer grapes. Less pizza. Fewer mistakes. Less anxiety. Fewer presents. Less snow. Fewer snowflakes. Less complex. Fewer complications.
Less water. Fewer grapes. Less pizza. Fewer mistakes. Less anxiety. Fewer presents. Less snow. Fewer snowflakes. Less complex. Fewer complications.
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
NFL going out of their way to force-schedule 3 games on Christmas Day featuring 5 of the best teams last year only to end up with matchups with 5 teams whose season is already over and will be starting backups is the holiday spirit we all needed
December 24, 2025 at 1:28 PM
NFL going out of their way to force-schedule 3 games on Christmas Day featuring 5 of the best teams last year only to end up with matchups with 5 teams whose season is already over and will be starting backups is the holiday spirit we all needed
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
I'm sorry man, it still counts as incest if she's not technically your aunt because in her world you were never born. Chromosomes exist!
December 24, 2025 at 5:09 AM
I'm sorry man, it still counts as incest if she's not technically your aunt because in her world you were never born. Chromosomes exist!
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
The Epstein files have been updated and now include 193 GB of data and nearly 100,000 files. This includes the original version of DataSet 8 (with redaction failures), plus the re-released version.
Download the data: ddosecrets.com/article/epst...
Help us keep publishing: donorbox.org/ddosecrets
Download the data: ddosecrets.com/article/epst...
Help us keep publishing: donorbox.org/ddosecrets
December 23, 2025 at 9:35 PM
The Epstein files have been updated and now include 193 GB of data and nearly 100,000 files. This includes the original version of DataSet 8 (with redaction failures), plus the re-released version.
Download the data: ddosecrets.com/article/epst...
Help us keep publishing: donorbox.org/ddosecrets
Download the data: ddosecrets.com/article/epst...
Help us keep publishing: donorbox.org/ddosecrets
I found a pristine Ryan McMahon bobblehead at Goodwill today, so that's neat
December 23, 2025 at 8:56 PM
I found a pristine Ryan McMahon bobblehead at Goodwill today, so that's neat
Reposted by Satorii Hunter
CHOTINER: and when you're in water you
PARTICLE MAN: don't get wet, that's right.
CHOTINER: And this is because
PARTICLE MAN: the water gets me instead. It becomes particle-manish
CHOTINER: There's been some debate on this point. Triangle Man, for example
PARTICLE MAN: I think we're done here
PARTICLE MAN: don't get wet, that's right.
CHOTINER: And this is because
PARTICLE MAN: the water gets me instead. It becomes particle-manish
CHOTINER: There's been some debate on this point. Triangle Man, for example
PARTICLE MAN: I think we're done here
December 23, 2025 at 3:24 AM
CHOTINER: and when you're in water you
PARTICLE MAN: don't get wet, that's right.
CHOTINER: And this is because
PARTICLE MAN: the water gets me instead. It becomes particle-manish
CHOTINER: There's been some debate on this point. Triangle Man, for example
PARTICLE MAN: I think we're done here
PARTICLE MAN: don't get wet, that's right.
CHOTINER: And this is because
PARTICLE MAN: the water gets me instead. It becomes particle-manish
CHOTINER: There's been some debate on this point. Triangle Man, for example
PARTICLE MAN: I think we're done here
If Bari Weiss tried to kill JFK then JFK Jr. would be president
if bari weiss had tried to do 9/11 there'd be three towers now
December 23, 2025 at 5:14 AM
If Bari Weiss tried to kill JFK then JFK Jr. would be president