d rake
@drake-ish.bsky.social
Sci-fi fantasy fan. World-famous mac n cheese critic.Tell your cat I said pspspspsps. He/him. 🏳️🌈
Sometimes NSFW.
Sometimes NSFW.
Reposted by d rake
ME: time to sleep
BRAIN: if ghosts can say boo that means they have lips
BRAIN: if ghosts can say boo that means they have lips
October 25, 2025 at 4:33 AM
ME: time to sleep
BRAIN: if ghosts can say boo that means they have lips
BRAIN: if ghosts can say boo that means they have lips
Reposted by d rake
Instructions for a cooking pot we got from China.
Okay, cross my heart, I WILL NOT shoot the pot! 🤣😂🤣😂
Okay, cross my heart, I WILL NOT shoot the pot! 🤣😂🤣😂
October 22, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Instructions for a cooking pot we got from China.
Okay, cross my heart, I WILL NOT shoot the pot! 🤣😂🤣😂
Okay, cross my heart, I WILL NOT shoot the pot! 🤣😂🤣😂
Reposted by d rake
BEE: *goes into hive* honey i’m home
October 22, 2025 at 6:05 PM
BEE: *goes into hive* honey i’m home
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Dessert Menu Options
- Death By Chocolate
- Paralyzed By Chocolate
- Insulted By Chocolate
- Ghosted By Chocolate
- Cheated On By Chocolate
- Slightly Embarrassed By Chocolate
- Confused By Chocolate
- NY Cheesecake
- Death By Chocolate
- Paralyzed By Chocolate
- Insulted By Chocolate
- Ghosted By Chocolate
- Cheated On By Chocolate
- Slightly Embarrassed By Chocolate
- Confused By Chocolate
- NY Cheesecake
October 22, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Dessert Menu Options
- Death By Chocolate
- Paralyzed By Chocolate
- Insulted By Chocolate
- Ghosted By Chocolate
- Cheated On By Chocolate
- Slightly Embarrassed By Chocolate
- Confused By Chocolate
- NY Cheesecake
- Death By Chocolate
- Paralyzed By Chocolate
- Insulted By Chocolate
- Ghosted By Chocolate
- Cheated On By Chocolate
- Slightly Embarrassed By Chocolate
- Confused By Chocolate
- NY Cheesecake
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rising from the dead to become an even bigger bitch
October 19, 2025 at 5:24 AM
rising from the dead to become an even bigger bitch
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THERAPIST: How long has it been since you experienced an anxiety attack?
SINGER FROM BARENAKED LADIES: It's been...
THERAPIST: Please. We talked about this.
SINGER FROM BARENAKED LADIES: It's been...
THERAPIST: Please. We talked about this.
October 16, 2025 at 12:20 PM
THERAPIST: How long has it been since you experienced an anxiety attack?
SINGER FROM BARENAKED LADIES: It's been...
THERAPIST: Please. We talked about this.
SINGER FROM BARENAKED LADIES: It's been...
THERAPIST: Please. We talked about this.
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the cheesy gordita crunch back of notre dame
October 16, 2025 at 3:36 PM
the cheesy gordita crunch back of notre dame
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me: *tosses in vegetables*
him: what’s going on here?
me: nothing, relax
him: this water is kind of warm
me: shhh *adds salt*
him: what’s going on here?
me: nothing, relax
him: this water is kind of warm
me: shhh *adds salt*
October 16, 2025 at 1:30 PM
me: *tosses in vegetables*
him: what’s going on here?
me: nothing, relax
him: this water is kind of warm
me: shhh *adds salt*
him: what’s going on here?
me: nothing, relax
him: this water is kind of warm
me: shhh *adds salt*
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why do they call them children, they have like zero chill
September 26, 2025 at 12:57 AM
why do they call them children, they have like zero chill
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ISAAC NEWTON: i have just discovered gravity
EVERYONE ELSE: hey how come i can't float around anymore
EVERYONE ELSE: hey how come i can't float around anymore
September 25, 2025 at 11:04 PM
ISAAC NEWTON: i have just discovered gravity
EVERYONE ELSE: hey how come i can't float around anymore
EVERYONE ELSE: hey how come i can't float around anymore
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Look I'm not the man to do this but if somebody isn't making a supercut of Rapturetok influencers realizing they have to remain on this dogshit planet right now then I don't even know why I have a computer anymore.
September 23, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Look I'm not the man to do this but if somebody isn't making a supercut of Rapturetok influencers realizing they have to remain on this dogshit planet right now then I don't even know why I have a computer anymore.
Reposted by d rake
Coworkers are loving the recent hollow emptiness of my eyes
September 22, 2025 at 11:36 PM
Coworkers are loving the recent hollow emptiness of my eyes
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when the first snakes were born there was probably a bunch of long ass lizards walking around scoffing like 🙄 these kids and their fads. well i bet they feel pretty stupid now
September 22, 2025 at 11:58 PM
when the first snakes were born there was probably a bunch of long ass lizards walking around scoffing like 🙄 these kids and their fads. well i bet they feel pretty stupid now
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Set phasers to regrettable life choices
September 22, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Set phasers to regrettable life choices
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🎵 He was a truck, she was a robot, can I make it anymore Optimus 🎵
September 21, 2025 at 1:01 AM
🎵 He was a truck, she was a robot, can I make it anymore Optimus 🎵
Oh to be a chonky house cat rolling around in a sunbeam.
September 20, 2025 at 11:58 PM
Oh to be a chonky house cat rolling around in a sunbeam.
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“i don’t read fiction” damn sorry about your flaccid imagination
September 19, 2025 at 3:33 AM
“i don’t read fiction” damn sorry about your flaccid imagination
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Cop: you failed to obey the stop sign
Me: I got lost in the music
Cop: what song?
Me: I'd rather not say
Cop: what song?!?
Me: I saw the sign
Me: I got lost in the music
Cop: what song?
Me: I'd rather not say
Cop: what song?!?
Me: I saw the sign
September 20, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Cop: you failed to obey the stop sign
Me: I got lost in the music
Cop: what song?
Me: I'd rather not say
Cop: what song?!?
Me: I saw the sign
Me: I got lost in the music
Cop: what song?
Me: I'd rather not say
Cop: what song?!?
Me: I saw the sign
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who keeps putting all these ‘a’s in paranoia
September 18, 2025 at 8:05 PM
who keeps putting all these ‘a’s in paranoia
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Customer service rep: Hi! How are you?
Me (a person with only a passing knowledge of Maryland who has been hypnotized to believe he is from Maryland and that’s all he can talk about): I love Old Bay seasoning
Me (a person with only a passing knowledge of Maryland who has been hypnotized to believe he is from Maryland and that’s all he can talk about): I love Old Bay seasoning
September 19, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Customer service rep: Hi! How are you?
Me (a person with only a passing knowledge of Maryland who has been hypnotized to believe he is from Maryland and that’s all he can talk about): I love Old Bay seasoning
Me (a person with only a passing knowledge of Maryland who has been hypnotized to believe he is from Maryland and that’s all he can talk about): I love Old Bay seasoning
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"I could be wrong.", I lied.
September 9, 2025 at 6:00 PM
"I could be wrong.", I lied.
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Peter Pan is my favorite story about how running away from all your problems will allow you to remain youthful and to possibly fly someday
September 7, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Peter Pan is my favorite story about how running away from all your problems will allow you to remain youthful and to possibly fly someday
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Science? Pah! “Scientists” aren’t even certain Jesus was a Capricorn
September 7, 2025 at 8:46 AM
Science? Pah! “Scientists” aren’t even certain Jesus was a Capricorn