barsteward
@barsteward.bsky.social
The world’s on fire, so let’s grab some marshmallows and not take everything so seriously. #UK based, working in hardware security hacking. Into #Infosec, #Standup #Comedy, and bad puns.
Twitter: @barsteward
Mastodon: @barsteward@infosec.exchange
Twitter: @barsteward
Mastodon: @barsteward@infosec.exchange
Pinned
barsteward
@barsteward.bsky.social
· May 18
You should never* judge people based upon the colour of their skin.
*Except for those orange-skinned spray-tan motherfuckers. In nature, colour is often used as a warning to others to keep their distance; heed that warning ⚠️
*Except for those orange-skinned spray-tan motherfuckers. In nature, colour is often used as a warning to others to keep their distance; heed that warning ⚠️
Reposted by barsteward
⚙️ Swift progress on embedded Swift, for memory-safe, fast code in resource-constrained environments. The latest updates are coming to Swift 6.3, and you can read more here: www.swift.org/blog/embedde... #IoT
November 17, 2025 at 9:29 PM
⚙️ Swift progress on embedded Swift, for memory-safe, fast code in resource-constrained environments. The latest updates are coming to Swift 6.3, and you can read more here: www.swift.org/blog/embedde... #IoT
Reposted by barsteward
Labour are like the world's laziest colonialists. 'No, you come here and THEN we'll take all your gold and jewellery.'
November 17, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Labour are like the world's laziest colonialists. 'No, you come here and THEN we'll take all your gold and jewellery.'
Now that Russell Brand has found God, does it decrease or increase his risk to others?
www.thetimes.com/uk/religion/...
www.thetimes.com/uk/religion/...
Russell Brand carries out ‘baptisms’ in penguin enclosure
Russell Brand, who faces charges of rape and sexual assault, claimed to have found God after he was baptised by Bear Grylls in the River Thames
www.thetimes.com
November 17, 2025 at 11:29 AM
Now that Russell Brand has found God, does it decrease or increase his risk to others?
www.thetimes.com/uk/religion/...
www.thetimes.com/uk/religion/...
Reposted by barsteward
anyone have the detail of this www.bbc.co.uk/news/article... flipper zero's wifi pinapples, proxmarks could all fall foul of this legislation if its not carefully written
Keyless car theft devices selling online for £20,000, BBC finds
It is not illegal currently to own the gadgets but the government has promised to ban them.
www.bbc.co.uk
November 17, 2025 at 10:45 AM
anyone have the detail of this www.bbc.co.uk/news/article... flipper zero's wifi pinapples, proxmarks could all fall foul of this legislation if its not carefully written
They say that when a loved one has dementia you lose them many times over the years. We first lost Dad when he married an irrational psycho bitch 20+ years ago, but that was way before the dementia.
November 16, 2025 at 12:18 PM
They say that when a loved one has dementia you lose them many times over the years. We first lost Dad when he married an irrational psycho bitch 20+ years ago, but that was way before the dementia.
Reposted by barsteward
I hated AI before it was cool.
November 12, 2025 at 11:44 PM
I hated AI before it was cool.
It was a tough week, but we got through it…
Wait, what? Only Tuesday?
Wait, what? Only Tuesday?
November 11, 2025 at 8:35 PM
It was a tough week, but we got through it…
Wait, what? Only Tuesday?
Wait, what? Only Tuesday?
Reposted by barsteward
I DEMAND Panorama IMMEDIATELY produces a documentary showing Kamala Harris not instigating a violent riot, not sexually assaulting anyone, or getting fined for denying it, or being found guilty of business fraud, or f*cking a porn star AND accepting the result of an election.
You know. For balance.
You know. For balance.
November 9, 2025 at 10:21 PM
I DEMAND Panorama IMMEDIATELY produces a documentary showing Kamala Harris not instigating a violent riot, not sexually assaulting anyone, or getting fined for denying it, or being found guilty of business fraud, or f*cking a porn star AND accepting the result of an election.
You know. For balance.
You know. For balance.
Reposted by barsteward
Yep. And to think that so many people think this man is some sort of hero is such a sign of our twisted times.
November 8, 2025 at 12:24 PM
Yep. And to think that so many people think this man is some sort of hero is such a sign of our twisted times.
Reposted by barsteward
Just need everyone to Google the name "Rosalind Franklin" at this moment.
Hey folks, as news of Watson's demise spreads, please don't set aside his weighty legacy of misogyny and racism. He was truly among the worst of us. www.vox.com/2019/1/15/18...
DNA scientist James Watson has a remarkably long history of sexist, racist public comments
“People say it would be terrible if we made all girls pretty,” he said in 2003. “I think it would be great.”
www.vox.com
November 7, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Just need everyone to Google the name "Rosalind Franklin" at this moment.
If the company really wanted people to understand CEO impersonation fraud, they’d have used an AI generated video of the CEO explaining it in the compulsory training video.
November 7, 2025 at 8:40 PM
If the company really wanted people to understand CEO impersonation fraud, they’d have used an AI generated video of the CEO explaining it in the compulsory training video.
Reposted by barsteward
The election of Zohran Mamdani, a Democratic Socialist, as mayor of New York raises a big question for Labour's front bench. They're all asking each other what a "socialist" is.
November 5, 2025 at 9:35 AM
The election of Zohran Mamdani, a Democratic Socialist, as mayor of New York raises a big question for Labour's front bench. They're all asking each other what a "socialist" is.
Reposted by barsteward
Reposted by barsteward
For my scary Halloween costume this year I’m going to dress up as a person who phones someone to respond to a text message.
October 29, 2025 at 9:54 AM
For my scary Halloween costume this year I’m going to dress up as a person who phones someone to respond to a text message.
Reposted by barsteward
In a parallel universe Elon Musk bought Twister and only fucked himself.
August 13, 2024 at 9:20 PM
In a parallel universe Elon Musk bought Twister and only fucked himself.
Americans can be so dramatic; at primary school, we once had a really long game of rounders too.
October 28, 2025 at 8:29 AM
Americans can be so dramatic; at primary school, we once had a really long game of rounders too.
Reposted by barsteward
Awakening to the news that the US is caught in some kind of eternal baseball timeloop. Which somehow still feels like the most normal and least horrifying news I've awoken to in a while.
October 28, 2025 at 7:15 AM
Awakening to the news that the US is caught in some kind of eternal baseball timeloop. Which somehow still feels like the most normal and least horrifying news I've awoken to in a while.
Reposted by barsteward
Does 'heinous' rhyme with 'penis' or 'anus'? To win a prize, send your one word answer to Piers Morgan. Good luck!
December 15, 2023 at 6:10 PM
Does 'heinous' rhyme with 'penis' or 'anus'? To win a prize, send your one word answer to Piers Morgan. Good luck!
Reposted by barsteward
This was one of my most popular tweets.
October 23, 2025 at 4:02 PM
This was one of my most popular tweets.
Reposted by barsteward
We can probably ditch the phrase ‘wherever you get your podcasts’ at this point can’t we? Just trust people to know how podcasts work?
October 26, 2025 at 1:37 PM
We can probably ditch the phrase ‘wherever you get your podcasts’ at this point can’t we? Just trust people to know how podcasts work?
In 1814, the British Army set fire to the White House, but even they didn’t charge the American people for doing so.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cg...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cg...
BBC Verify Live: White House satellite image shows East Wing demolished to make way for ballroom
Latest updates from the BBC's specialists in fact-checking, verifying video and tackling disinformation.
www.bbc.co.uk
October 24, 2025 at 2:11 PM
In 1814, the British Army set fire to the White House, but even they didn’t charge the American people for doing so.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cg...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cg...
Reposted by barsteward
Scathing, but all too obviously accurate, take on the AWS outage by @quinnypig.com.
You're engaging in professional malpractice if you don't share this with your stakeholders. Corey may be an engineer, but he communicates about the issues in an accessible manner.
www.theregister.com/2025/10/20/a...
You're engaging in professional malpractice if you don't share this with your stakeholders. Corey may be an engineer, but he communicates about the issues in an accessible manner.
www.theregister.com/2025/10/20/a...
Amazon brain drain finally caught up with AWS
column: When your best engineers log off for good, don’t be surprised when the cloud forgets how DNS works
www.theregister.com
October 22, 2025 at 5:47 AM
Scathing, but all too obviously accurate, take on the AWS outage by @quinnypig.com.
You're engaging in professional malpractice if you don't share this with your stakeholders. Corey may be an engineer, but he communicates about the issues in an accessible manner.
www.theregister.com/2025/10/20/a...
You're engaging in professional malpractice if you don't share this with your stakeholders. Corey may be an engineer, but he communicates about the issues in an accessible manner.
www.theregister.com/2025/10/20/a...
Reposted by barsteward
I feel Thames Water should have been asked to comment.
Woman fined £150 for pouring coffee down drain www.bbc.com/news/article...
Woman fined £150 for pouring coffee down drain www.bbc.com/news/article...
Kew woman fined £150 for pouring coffee down drain in Richmond
Burcu Yesilyurt says the fine is "disproportionate" while Richmond Council say it is in line with its policies.
www.bbc.com
October 22, 2025 at 7:18 AM
I feel Thames Water should have been asked to comment.
Woman fined £150 for pouring coffee down drain www.bbc.com/news/article...
Woman fined £150 for pouring coffee down drain www.bbc.com/news/article...
When the president is the ultimate insider-threat.
Apparently the CDC and CISA are "Democrat-oriented" agencies. Republicans prefer us being sick and hacked.
Q: How many layoffs have you authorized?
TRUMP: It'll be a lot. And it'll be Democrat-oriented.
TRUMP: It'll be a lot. And it'll be Democrat-oriented.
October 15, 2025 at 9:45 PM
When the president is the ultimate insider-threat.
Reposted by barsteward
