Mark Watson, in November
@watsoncomedian.bsky.social
I write books and do standup comedy and help run a production company. I was on Taskmaster. I am usually at Paddington station.
I've been working all day - once more - on this murder mystery podcast (not true crime; a serialised, semi-interactive audio novel). I think this is going to be one of the best things I have begged the general public to engage with, over the years. Will begin in the weekend November 28-30.
November 11, 2025 at 6:22 PM
I've been working all day - once more - on this murder mystery podcast (not true crime; a serialised, semi-interactive audio novel). I think this is going to be one of the best things I have begged the general public to engage with, over the years. Will begin in the weekend November 28-30.
Both legs of this London-Brighton trip, there’s been someone watching videos for the full hour with no headphones in. Now, you hear people complain about this a lot. And I accept I’m 45. And the world changes. But I’d really love to be able to slam custard pies in these guys’ faces.
November 9, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Both legs of this London-Brighton trip, there’s been someone watching videos for the full hour with no headphones in. Now, you hear people complain about this a lot. And I accept I’m 45. And the world changes. But I’d really love to be able to slam custard pies in these guys’ faces.
Or, similarly:
November 8, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Or, similarly:
Absolute estate of this.
November 8, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Absolute estate of this.
Narrowed it down to two from several recommendations here and offline. That removes all my worries for tonight except for the main one - that my team will play badly and lose the game. But over the years I've learned not to think about that when deciding whether to attend football matches.
If you were going to Watford tonight, where would you have dinner? Actually, I'll be more specific. I'm not asking this as a thought experiment. I am asking for YOUR recommendations. Near the football ground would be good. If you've never been to Watford, this is simply not for you.
November 7, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Narrowed it down to two from several recommendations here and offline. That removes all my worries for tonight except for the main one - that my team will play badly and lose the game. But over the years I've learned not to think about that when deciding whether to attend football matches.
I was wondering just yesterday if people say ‘I will die on this hill’ in offline contexts (other than doomed climbers etc). Has it made it into the wider world?
Imagine if you met someone irl who kept talking like people do on here, throwing under the bus, kept the receipts, lives rent-free etc, you'd quite rightly punch them in the face
November 7, 2025 at 1:32 PM
I was wondering just yesterday if people say ‘I will die on this hill’ in offline contexts (other than doomed climbers etc). Has it made it into the wider world?
If you were going to Watford tonight, where would you have dinner? Actually, I'll be more specific. I'm not asking this as a thought experiment. I am asking for YOUR recommendations. Near the football ground would be good. If you've never been to Watford, this is simply not for you.
November 7, 2025 at 1:14 PM
If you were going to Watford tonight, where would you have dinner? Actually, I'll be more specific. I'm not asking this as a thought experiment. I am asking for YOUR recommendations. Near the football ground would be good. If you've never been to Watford, this is simply not for you.
Reposted by Mark Watson, in November
Here's those tour dates in full! The tour doesn't REALLY kick off until Jan, but the show hits the road for the first time tomorrow in Nottingham, then we're off to all these cool places! Am I coming to your town? Come say hey!
www.joznorris.co.uk/you-wait-tim...
www.joznorris.co.uk/you-wait-tim...
November 7, 2025 at 11:49 AM
Here's those tour dates in full! The tour doesn't REALLY kick off until Jan, but the show hits the road for the first time tomorrow in Nottingham, then we're off to all these cool places! Am I coming to your town? Come say hey!
www.joznorris.co.uk/you-wait-tim...
www.joznorris.co.uk/you-wait-tim...
I’m back.
November 6, 2025 at 3:16 PM
I’m back.
Arsenal have got a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD, Max Dowman, on. He is the first ever person to play in the Champions League about whom you can say definitively he was never in a Woolworth's.
November 4, 2025 at 7:33 PM
Arsenal have got a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD, Max Dowman, on. He is the first ever person to play in the Champions League about whom you can say definitively he was never in a Woolworth's.
When I was at school the Skoda was automatically seen as shorthand for a shit car. ‘Your dad’s got a SKODA!!’ Did they dramatically turn their reputation round? Or were they always ok cars and it was just one of these mysterious playground traditions?
November 4, 2025 at 6:47 PM
When I was at school the Skoda was automatically seen as shorthand for a shit car. ‘Your dad’s got a SKODA!!’ Did they dramatically turn their reputation round? Or were they always ok cars and it was just one of these mysterious playground traditions?
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE, SHOWING ME 2025: you make a living as a comedian, write books, you have a partner, two kids, a really nice life.
16 YEAR OLD MARK: ok great.
GHOST: just a heads up, one of the friends from 'Friends' is dead and the others are aged between 56 and 62.
MARK: what the fuck.
16 YEAR OLD MARK: ok great.
GHOST: just a heads up, one of the friends from 'Friends' is dead and the others are aged between 56 and 62.
MARK: what the fuck.
November 2, 2025 at 7:24 PM
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE, SHOWING ME 2025: you make a living as a comedian, write books, you have a partner, two kids, a really nice life.
16 YEAR OLD MARK: ok great.
GHOST: just a heads up, one of the friends from 'Friends' is dead and the others are aged between 56 and 62.
MARK: what the fuck.
16 YEAR OLD MARK: ok great.
GHOST: just a heads up, one of the friends from 'Friends' is dead and the others are aged between 56 and 62.
MARK: what the fuck.
@dolorsitametish.bsky.social Well, enjoy.
November 2, 2025 at 12:28 AM
@dolorsitametish.bsky.social Well, enjoy.
Might put the clock back again tonight. Take the extra hour in bed again. Make it a regular thing. See what happens.
November 1, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Might put the clock back again tonight. Take the extra hour in bed again. Make it a regular thing. See what happens.
Bluesky seems to have lots of weirdly aggressive accounts to ‘inspire writers’. ‘Hey, finish that script today! Imagine your enemies weeping as you collect your Oscar! KILL ALL LIFE ON THE PLANET WITH YOUR KEYBOARD!’
November 1, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Bluesky seems to have lots of weirdly aggressive accounts to ‘inspire writers’. ‘Hey, finish that script today! Imagine your enemies weeping as you collect your Oscar! KILL ALL LIFE ON THE PLANET WITH YOUR KEYBOARD!’
Reposted by Mark Watson, in November
I like how you can use emojis to zoom in on a pig
🐖
🐷
🐽
🐖
🐷
🐽
November 1, 2025 at 11:05 AM
I like how you can use emojis to zoom in on a pig
🐖
🐷
🐽
🐖
🐷
🐽
I have served eight trick-or-treat parties so far, 26 customers in total. I’ve gone ‘treat’ in all cases to date. At the end of the day I’d rather give away these lollipops than get petrol-bombed.
October 31, 2025 at 5:49 PM
I have served eight trick-or-treat parties so far, 26 customers in total. I’ve gone ‘treat’ in all cases to date. At the end of the day I’d rather give away these lollipops than get petrol-bombed.
A long time ago, my friend Oliver and I made a graphic novel about Halloween. It was optioned by Spielberg’s company amazingly. I went to LA for the first time! Then they did nothing with it for 42 years. Still: fun. Now someone is making a musical theatre adaptation. FRIGHT NIGHT!!
October 31, 2025 at 12:00 PM
A long time ago, my friend Oliver and I made a graphic novel about Halloween. It was optioned by Spielberg’s company amazingly. I went to LA for the first time! Then they did nothing with it for 42 years. Still: fun. Now someone is making a musical theatre adaptation. FRIGHT NIGHT!!
Just to remind you, it is All Hallows’ Eve. Not everything will be quite as it seems, tonight. If you’re one of these people who like things to be exactly as they seem: bad news, pal.
October 31, 2025 at 10:33 AM
Just to remind you, it is All Hallows’ Eve. Not everything will be quite as it seems, tonight. If you’re one of these people who like things to be exactly as they seem: bad news, pal.
The sky's the limit. Horne, obviously. Lineker, Kate Bush, that new Pope they've got who seems a lot of fun, Winkleman herself (I'm hosting by the way), Brian Cox (the Succession one), Chloe Kelly, Dick van Dyke, Alison Hammond.
Thinking about the calibre of contestants they can probably get on the next series of Celebrity Traitors. Best guesses: Toksvig, Saunders, Broad, Wilson (Kaiser Chiefs), Riley, Kemp (Ross), Henry, Ranganathan, Pemberton, Syal, Rooney, Mumford, Dorries, Du Beke, Raworth, Lewis (Denise), Waddingham.
October 31, 2025 at 12:29 AM
The sky's the limit. Horne, obviously. Lineker, Kate Bush, that new Pope they've got who seems a lot of fun, Winkleman herself (I'm hosting by the way), Brian Cox (the Succession one), Chloe Kelly, Dick van Dyke, Alison Hammond.
People quite easily buy the idea that sports stars are likely to be stupid (I'm not saying the original poster thinks this necessarily) and, for sure, SOME are, but an awful lot aren't. You can be pretty smart *and* excel at sport. The bastards.
Love the fact that, out of all the cast of Celebrity Traitors, the rugby player turns out to be the shrewd one
October 30, 2025 at 10:05 PM
People quite easily buy the idea that sports stars are likely to be stupid (I'm not saying the original poster thinks this necessarily) and, for sure, SOME are, but an awful lot aren't. You can be pretty smart *and* excel at sport. The bastards.
I'm going as 'when you picture the world five hundred years from now, with everyone you know gone, yourself included'. It's been quite challenging as a costume.
What terrifying thing are you dressing as this Halloween I'm dressing up as acid reflux
October 30, 2025 at 4:20 PM
I'm going as 'when you picture the world five hundred years from now, with everyone you know gone, yourself included'. It's been quite challenging as a costume.
Five years since the second of the 24-hour streams I did - with a lot of help - in an attempt to perk people up during that, you know, pandemic business. Will the 24-hour show ever resurface as a theatre event? Yes. When? You’ll see.
A nice wee reminder from Facebook that 5 years ago I was working on the 2nd online @watsoncomedian.bsky.social Watsonathon.
I liked to set myself challenges while working on these monster shows, so this one was done whilst always in view and arm's reach of The Last Rolo.
I liked to set myself challenges while working on these monster shows, so this one was done whilst always in view and arm's reach of The Last Rolo.
October 30, 2025 at 12:21 PM
Five years since the second of the 24-hour streams I did - with a lot of help - in an attempt to perk people up during that, you know, pandemic business. Will the 24-hour show ever resurface as a theatre event? Yes. When? You’ll see.