Paul Bassett Davies
@thewritertype.bsky.social
Writer in residence, at my house. To look upon my works, ye mighty, visit my website:
https://www.thewritertype.com
https://www.thewritertype.com
Pinned
Eventually you have to accept that no matter how many different notebooks you buy, they won’t make you a better writer. For that, you need to spend a lot of money on the right pen.
The British army has denied that it currently lacks the ability to be a credible defence force, in a statement issued from its new headquarters in the church hall at Walmington-on-Sea. A spokesperson added, "Don't panic!"
February 16, 2026 at 10:40 AM
The British army has denied that it currently lacks the ability to be a credible defence force, in a statement issued from its new headquarters in the church hall at Walmington-on-Sea. A spokesperson added, "Don't panic!"
Billionaires making pronouncements about culture invariably betray their ignorance. You'll find more culture in a pot of fucking yoghurt than in anything Musk says.
February 15, 2026 at 9:56 PM
Billionaires making pronouncements about culture invariably betray their ignorance. You'll find more culture in a pot of fucking yoghurt than in anything Musk says.
In these challenging times it's easy to feel that you're not achieving anything significant. But remember, you're not alone. The rest of us also feel you're not achieving anything significant.
February 15, 2026 at 4:35 PM
In these challenging times it's easy to feel that you're not achieving anything significant. But remember, you're not alone. The rest of us also feel you're not achieving anything significant.
It’s always disappointing the day after a children’s party when you take the balloon animals to be humanely destroyed and the receptionist at the veterinary practice is even more disrespectful than last year.
February 15, 2026 at 11:04 AM
It’s always disappointing the day after a children’s party when you take the balloon animals to be humanely destroyed and the receptionist at the veterinary practice is even more disrespectful than last year.
Don’t panic if you’ve forgotten to get a Valentine’s gift for your loved one. Simply drive to an all-night garage. Fill up the tank. Keep driving and don’t stop. Flee. Make a new life in a distant land. Never, ever return.
February 14, 2026 at 4:58 PM
Don’t panic if you’ve forgotten to get a Valentine’s gift for your loved one. Simply drive to an all-night garage. Fill up the tank. Keep driving and don’t stop. Flee. Make a new life in a distant land. Never, ever return.
Very excited to receive a lovely Valentine’s card from an anonymous admirer. I have a suspicion it’s actually the one I sent to myself with my handwriting disguised, but still, it’s a nice gesture.
February 14, 2026 at 11:40 AM
Very excited to receive a lovely Valentine’s card from an anonymous admirer. I have a suspicion it’s actually the one I sent to myself with my handwriting disguised, but still, it’s a nice gesture.
They say "If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys." But can it be true? It sounds amazing. I love monkeys. And I'm pretty sure I can get access to plenty of peanuts. I'm definitely going to look into this.
February 13, 2026 at 9:08 PM
They say "If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys." But can it be true? It sounds amazing. I love monkeys. And I'm pretty sure I can get access to plenty of peanuts. I'm definitely going to look into this.
World's Richest Man: I have great plans.
People: Using your vast wealth to end world hunger?
WRM: No, that is a weak-minded fantasy typical of the woke empathy draining the strength of our species.
People: So, what will you do?
WRM: I will build a catapult on the moon.
People: Using your vast wealth to end world hunger?
WRM: No, that is a weak-minded fantasy typical of the woke empathy draining the strength of our species.
People: So, what will you do?
WRM: I will build a catapult on the moon.
February 13, 2026 at 6:00 PM
World's Richest Man: I have great plans.
People: Using your vast wealth to end world hunger?
WRM: No, that is a weak-minded fantasy typical of the woke empathy draining the strength of our species.
People: So, what will you do?
WRM: I will build a catapult on the moon.
People: Using your vast wealth to end world hunger?
WRM: No, that is a weak-minded fantasy typical of the woke empathy draining the strength of our species.
People: So, what will you do?
WRM: I will build a catapult on the moon.
Big day for me tomorrow. I'm the guy who trains waiters to intrude with a massive phallic pepper grinder at the most romantic moment of your Valentine's dinner date.
February 13, 2026 at 4:28 PM
Big day for me tomorrow. I'm the guy who trains waiters to intrude with a massive phallic pepper grinder at the most romantic moment of your Valentine's dinner date.
Not now, Friday 13th. We’ve got a massive agenda of totally rational things to be paranoid about.
February 13, 2026 at 12:40 PM
Not now, Friday 13th. We’ve got a massive agenda of totally rational things to be paranoid about.
If we truly believe in free speech, then Sir James Ratcliffe has as much right to voice his opinions about immigration in the UK as any other parasitical tax dodging prune faced billionaire hypocrite who lives in Monaco.
February 12, 2026 at 1:31 PM
If we truly believe in free speech, then Sir James Ratcliffe has as much right to voice his opinions about immigration in the UK as any other parasitical tax dodging prune faced billionaire hypocrite who lives in Monaco.
In the original ancient Greek Olympics, many of the athletes were naked. Which could make the four-man bobsleigh event in Cortina more fun. Ice hockey, not so much.
February 11, 2026 at 10:39 PM
In the original ancient Greek Olympics, many of the athletes were naked. Which could make the four-man bobsleigh event in Cortina more fun. Ice hockey, not so much.
Your reminder that Saint Valentine was an early Christian martyr who was smothered to death in cellophane for selling overpriced flowers, chocolates, and greeting cards.
February 11, 2026 at 2:14 PM
Your reminder that Saint Valentine was an early Christian martyr who was smothered to death in cellophane for selling overpriced flowers, chocolates, and greeting cards.
Thinking about running amok, but I’m not confident about my fitness levels so I’ll get in shape by training to run a half mok.
February 10, 2026 at 8:34 PM
Thinking about running amok, but I’m not confident about my fitness levels so I’ll get in shape by training to run a half mok.
You don’t have to wait for Valentine’s Day to make a heartfelt declaration of love to someone. You can wait for as long as you want.
February 10, 2026 at 4:06 PM
You don’t have to wait for Valentine’s Day to make a heartfelt declaration of love to someone. You can wait for as long as you want.
Remember to post your Valentines cards in plenty of time. I’ve just sent one to myself, but I’ve cunningly disguised my handwriting so I won’t know who it’s from.
February 9, 2026 at 3:32 PM
Remember to post your Valentines cards in plenty of time. I’ve just sent one to myself, but I’ve cunningly disguised my handwriting so I won’t know who it’s from.
For the benefit of UK audiences, 'Super Bowl' is an American TV show made of commercials and a spectacular music gig interrupted by brief, choreographed collisions between wealthy men in protective costumes, performed for the purpose of enriching a handful of even wealthier men.
February 8, 2026 at 4:20 PM
For the benefit of UK audiences, 'Super Bowl' is an American TV show made of commercials and a spectacular music gig interrupted by brief, choreographed collisions between wealthy men in protective costumes, performed for the purpose of enriching a handful of even wealthier men.
It’s Charles Dickens’ birthday, and he would be flabbergasted to see how civilisation as he thought of it is being gleefully dismantled by venal hypocrites, sinister buffoons and raving narcissistic autocrats whom he would have rejected as villains too grotesque even for his novels.
February 7, 2026 at 11:45 AM
It’s Charles Dickens’ birthday, and he would be flabbergasted to see how civilisation as he thought of it is being gleefully dismantled by venal hypocrites, sinister buffoons and raving narcissistic autocrats whom he would have rejected as villains too grotesque even for his novels.
Who is the rogue staffer responsible for the offensive meme that appeared on Trump's social media? The suspect probably has a history of posting deranged content in the middle of the night, somehow has access to Trump's account, and is a massive racist piece of shit. The mystery continues.
February 6, 2026 at 7:02 PM
Who is the rogue staffer responsible for the offensive meme that appeared on Trump's social media? The suspect probably has a history of posting deranged content in the middle of the night, somehow has access to Trump's account, and is a massive racist piece of shit. The mystery continues.
(WH viewing of alternative Super Bowl halftime show).
Trump: Kid Rock is cool!
Miller: and white.
Bondi: dig the beat!
Hegseth: raawknroll! *throws up*
Noem: so exciting!
RFK Jr: go ahead, lick the TV screen. It's healthy.
Rubio: *enters with skateboard* How do you do, fellow kids.
Trump: *sharts*
Trump: Kid Rock is cool!
Miller: and white.
Bondi: dig the beat!
Hegseth: raawknroll! *throws up*
Noem: so exciting!
RFK Jr: go ahead, lick the TV screen. It's healthy.
Rubio: *enters with skateboard* How do you do, fellow kids.
Trump: *sharts*
February 6, 2026 at 2:14 PM
(WH viewing of alternative Super Bowl halftime show).
Trump: Kid Rock is cool!
Miller: and white.
Bondi: dig the beat!
Hegseth: raawknroll! *throws up*
Noem: so exciting!
RFK Jr: go ahead, lick the TV screen. It's healthy.
Rubio: *enters with skateboard* How do you do, fellow kids.
Trump: *sharts*
Trump: Kid Rock is cool!
Miller: and white.
Bondi: dig the beat!
Hegseth: raawknroll! *throws up*
Noem: so exciting!
RFK Jr: go ahead, lick the TV screen. It's healthy.
Rubio: *enters with skateboard* How do you do, fellow kids.
Trump: *sharts*
A National Prayer Breakfast is a grotesque idea. It violates a fundamental constitutional principle of any civilised democracy, which is the separation of Church and Breakfast.
February 5, 2026 at 5:54 PM
A National Prayer Breakfast is a grotesque idea. It violates a fundamental constitutional principle of any civilised democracy, which is the separation of Church and Breakfast.
I hope Bezos sells the Washington Post. Someone could buy it and turn it into a newspaper.
February 5, 2026 at 2:22 PM
I hope Bezos sells the Washington Post. Someone could buy it and turn it into a newspaper.
Happy birthday William S. Burroughs, born today in 1914, died in 1997 - but still causing good, creepy trouble in my novel "Dead Writers in Rehab," where he's enjoying reefer with Gertrude Stein in a corner, and trying to avoid Hemingway and Coleridge.
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1785...
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1785...
Dead Writers in Rehab: Amazon.co.uk: Bassett Davies, Paul: 9781785634000: Books
Buy Dead Writers in Rehab by Bassett Davies, Paul from Amazon's Fiction Books Store. Everyday low prices on a huge range of new releases and classic fiction.
www.amazon.co.uk
February 5, 2026 at 1:35 PM
Happy birthday William S. Burroughs, born today in 1914, died in 1997 - but still causing good, creepy trouble in my novel "Dead Writers in Rehab," where he's enjoying reefer with Gertrude Stein in a corner, and trying to avoid Hemingway and Coleridge.
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1785...
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1785...
We all make mistakes. What’s important is having the courage to deny any responsibility, blame someone else, and move on.
February 4, 2026 at 7:36 PM
We all make mistakes. What’s important is having the courage to deny any responsibility, blame someone else, and move on.
After much reflection I have decided to flee the death star. Serving the Galactic Empire remains an incredible privilege, and I will continue to support the dark side and the causes I believe in. Contact my agent with cash offers. No time wasters. Yours, Peter.
February 4, 2026 at 6:46 PM
After much reflection I have decided to flee the death star. Serving the Galactic Empire remains an incredible privilege, and I will continue to support the dark side and the causes I believe in. Contact my agent with cash offers. No time wasters. Yours, Peter.