Paul Bassett Davies
@thewritertype.bsky.social
Writer in residence, at my house. To look upon my works, ye mighty, visit my website:
https://www.thewritertype.com
https://www.thewritertype.com
Pinned
Eventually you have to accept that no matter how many different notebooks you buy, they won’t make you a better writer. For that, you need to spend a lot of money on the right pen.
JANUARY WELLNESS PLAN:
1. Calculate how much you'd usually spend in January on things like alcohol, cakes, bacon and snacks.
2. Think of all the other things you could spend that money on.
3.
4.
5. Spend it on alcohol, cakes, bacon and snacks.
1. Calculate how much you'd usually spend in January on things like alcohol, cakes, bacon and snacks.
2. Think of all the other things you could spend that money on.
3.
4.
5. Spend it on alcohol, cakes, bacon and snacks.
January 1, 2026 at 3:55 PM
JANUARY WELLNESS PLAN:
1. Calculate how much you'd usually spend in January on things like alcohol, cakes, bacon and snacks.
2. Think of all the other things you could spend that money on.
3.
4.
5. Spend it on alcohol, cakes, bacon and snacks.
1. Calculate how much you'd usually spend in January on things like alcohol, cakes, bacon and snacks.
2. Think of all the other things you could spend that money on.
3.
4.
5. Spend it on alcohol, cakes, bacon and snacks.
Me: New year, new me!
Old me: Do you mind? I’m still right here and I haven’t got up yet.
Old me: Do you mind? I’m still right here and I haven’t got up yet.
January 1, 2026 at 9:04 AM
Me: New year, new me!
Old me: Do you mind? I’m still right here and I haven’t got up yet.
Old me: Do you mind? I’m still right here and I haven’t got up yet.
When you leave 2025, please turn off the lights and lock up. But leave the gas on. Stuff fuel-soaked rags into the letterbox, and as you walk away, flick a burning cigarette over your shoulder and stride on impassively, without a backward glance at the massive fireball that explodes behind you.
December 31, 2025 at 6:08 PM
When you leave 2025, please turn off the lights and lock up. But leave the gas on. Stuff fuel-soaked rags into the letterbox, and as you walk away, flick a burning cigarette over your shoulder and stride on impassively, without a backward glance at the massive fireball that explodes behind you.
Staying in is the new going out and wishing you'd stayed in.
December 31, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Staying in is the new going out and wishing you'd stayed in.
Please don’t let the cynical commercialisation of New Year’s Eve cheapen its timeless spiritual message of irrational drunken optimism.
December 31, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Please don’t let the cynical commercialisation of New Year’s Eve cheapen its timeless spiritual message of irrational drunken optimism.
Reposted by Paul Bassett Davies
A New Year's Toast from Patricia Highsmith (and me) 🥂🥂
December 31, 2025 at 1:51 PM
A New Year's Toast from Patricia Highsmith (and me) 🥂🥂
Amazing to think it's already next year in New Zealand. I'm phoning someone who lives there to find out all the racing results in advance. I'll make a fortune.
December 31, 2025 at 1:52 PM
Amazing to think it's already next year in New Zealand. I'm phoning someone who lives there to find out all the racing results in advance. I'll make a fortune.
Reposted by Paul Bassett Davies
Not looking forward to New Year's Eve. I hate all the drunkenness, shouting, brawling and throwing up. Maybe it's a mistake to spend it alone.
December 28, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Not looking forward to New Year's Eve. I hate all the drunkenness, shouting, brawling and throwing up. Maybe it's a mistake to spend it alone.
My top New Year's resolutions:
1. Follow my dreams in 2021.
2. Stop buying diaries in packs of six.
1. Follow my dreams in 2021.
2. Stop buying diaries in packs of six.
December 30, 2025 at 9:31 PM
My top New Year's resolutions:
1. Follow my dreams in 2021.
2. Stop buying diaries in packs of six.
1. Follow my dreams in 2021.
2. Stop buying diaries in packs of six.
Happy birthday to the magnificent Patti Smith.
SCOOP THE PEARLS UP FROM THE SEA.
SCOOP THE PEARLS UP FROM THE SEA.
December 30, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Happy birthday to the magnificent Patti Smith.
SCOOP THE PEARLS UP FROM THE SEA.
SCOOP THE PEARLS UP FROM THE SEA.
Once again Nigel Farage has been denied a knighthood. Still eligible for a white hood.
December 30, 2025 at 8:52 AM
Once again Nigel Farage has been denied a knighthood. Still eligible for a white hood.
It is surely a hollow mockery to call ourselves a civilised nation when we have no monument, statue or public space dedicated to one of humanity’s most noble benefactors, namely the inventor of the hot water bottle.
December 29, 2025 at 11:24 PM
It is surely a hollow mockery to call ourselves a civilised nation when we have no monument, statue or public space dedicated to one of humanity’s most noble benefactors, namely the inventor of the hot water bottle.
New Year? Don't make resolutions. If you give up your bad habits, your life will still be shit, but you'll have nothing to blame it on.
December 29, 2025 at 6:09 PM
New Year? Don't make resolutions. If you give up your bad habits, your life will still be shit, but you'll have nothing to blame it on.
Don't be biased against imported American chicken just because it's chlorinated. Be biased against it because it's bred in cruel factory farms, force-fed animal waste products, pumped full of chemicals, slaughtered inhumanely, and tastes like shit.
December 29, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Don't be biased against imported American chicken just because it's chlorinated. Be biased against it because it's bred in cruel factory farms, force-fed animal waste products, pumped full of chemicals, slaughtered inhumanely, and tastes like shit.
Reposted by Paul Bassett Davies
The opportunity for a period of quiet, sober reflection between the excesses of Christmas and the revelry of New Year’s Eve can easily be avoided by continuing to drink.
December 26, 2025 at 10:08 PM
The opportunity for a period of quiet, sober reflection between the excesses of Christmas and the revelry of New Year’s Eve can easily be avoided by continuing to drink.
Strange how things turn out. With Trump, America elected a phoney TV hero and got a clown for a president. With Zelensky, Ukraine elected an actual TV clown and got a hero for a president.
December 29, 2025 at 12:44 PM
Strange how things turn out. With Trump, America elected a phoney TV hero and got a clown for a president. With Zelensky, Ukraine elected an actual TV clown and got a hero for a president.
Not looking forward to New Year's Eve. I hate all the drunkenness, shouting, brawling and throwing up. Maybe it's a mistake to spend it alone.
December 28, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Not looking forward to New Year's Eve. I hate all the drunkenness, shouting, brawling and throwing up. Maybe it's a mistake to spend it alone.
There’s never been a better time to dress in a Santa costume and run through a big department store, accosting random shoppers and hissing, "Help me! They've dismantled the grotto and they're trying to lock me in the basement again! I can't take another year down there! Don't let them catch me!"
December 28, 2025 at 1:17 PM
There’s never been a better time to dress in a Santa costume and run through a big department store, accosting random shoppers and hissing, "Help me! They've dismantled the grotto and they're trying to lock me in the basement again! I can't take another year down there! Don't let them catch me!"
It's Sunday. It's been Sunday for several days. It's Sunday again tomorrow. It's always Sunday now.
December 28, 2025 at 9:40 AM
It's Sunday. It's been Sunday for several days. It's Sunday again tomorrow. It's always Sunday now.
Sir James Dyson's most notable invention was a way to vacuum up money. He abandoned Britain following the Brexit he supported, his legacy is hot air, and we think of him whenever we dry our hands in a smelly public toilet.
December 27, 2025 at 9:22 PM
Sir James Dyson's most notable invention was a way to vacuum up money. He abandoned Britain following the Brexit he supported, his legacy is hot air, and we think of him whenever we dry our hands in a smelly public toilet.
“Huge if true.”
- me to my bathroom scales, 27 December.
- me to my bathroom scales, 27 December.
December 27, 2025 at 4:00 PM
“Huge if true.”
- me to my bathroom scales, 27 December.
- me to my bathroom scales, 27 December.
Reposted by Paul Bassett Davies
"I don't care if it's fake" will be the phrase of 2026.
December 27, 2025 at 3:30 PM
"I don't care if it's fake" will be the phrase of 2026.
Podcasts is it? Ok, try mine: they’re short (20 mins), scripted, funny, full of surreal misleading writing advice, and, best of all, you don’t have to look at me or anyone else. No visuals, pure audio.
thewritertype.podbean.com/e/episode-on...
thewritertype.podbean.com/e/episode-on...
Episode One - Getting Started | The Writer Type
thewritertype.podbean.com
December 27, 2025 at 12:14 PM
Podcasts is it? Ok, try mine: they’re short (20 mins), scripted, funny, full of surreal misleading writing advice, and, best of all, you don’t have to look at me or anyone else. No visuals, pure audio.
thewritertype.podbean.com/e/episode-on...
thewritertype.podbean.com/e/episode-on...
The first bin collection after Christmas is known traditionally as Judgment Day as we pass judgment on our neighbours based on the number of bottles in their recycling.
December 27, 2025 at 9:55 AM
The first bin collection after Christmas is known traditionally as Judgment Day as we pass judgment on our neighbours based on the number of bottles in their recycling.
The opportunity for a period of quiet, sober reflection between the excesses of Christmas and the revelry of New Year’s Eve can easily be avoided by continuing to drink.
December 26, 2025 at 10:08 PM
The opportunity for a period of quiet, sober reflection between the excesses of Christmas and the revelry of New Year’s Eve can easily be avoided by continuing to drink.