Andy Kelly
@andypk79.bsky.social
Tech-savvy billionaire playboy / philanthropist / superhero. Compulsive liar.
Reposted by Andy Kelly
"It’s impossible to say when IT will HAPPEN. But it can’t be too long until IT HAPPENS. Looking at the data, it is statistically plausible that IT will HAPPEN in the next thirty-six months. Eighteen, if you factor in hamburger consumption and all the weird bruising."
When It Happens
It’s been so long, you sometimes forget that eventually, IT will HAPPEN. It’s impossible to say when IT will HAPPEN. But it can’t be too long until...
buff.ly
November 15, 2025 at 2:40 AM
"It’s impossible to say when IT will HAPPEN. But it can’t be too long until IT HAPPENS. Looking at the data, it is statistically plausible that IT will HAPPEN in the next thirty-six months. Eighteen, if you factor in hamburger consumption and all the weird bruising."
Reposted by Andy Kelly
🚨NEW - Train hero who saved passengers during attack confuses racists by being a Muslim
Click for more:
open.substack.com/pub/mrhenrym...
Click for more:
open.substack.com/pub/mrhenrym...
Train hero who saved passengers during attack confuses racists by being a Muslim
Samir Zoutini, a heroic GNER staff member whose incredible bravery saved lives during the mass stabbing on Saturday, has confounded racists by being a Muslim.
open.substack.com
November 4, 2025 at 2:53 PM
🚨NEW - Train hero who saved passengers during attack confuses racists by being a Muslim
Click for more:
open.substack.com/pub/mrhenrym...
Click for more:
open.substack.com/pub/mrhenrym...
Reposted by Andy Kelly
Can't even build death star anymore, because of ewok
August 26, 2025 at 6:49 AM
Can't even build death star anymore, because of ewok
Reposted by Andy Kelly
Aussie unions don’t beat around the bush.
August 22, 2025 at 9:28 AM
Aussie unions don’t beat around the bush.
Reposted by Andy Kelly
The Telegraph today carries a news story about someone paying £7.4 million for a handbag (Hello, Lady Bracknell!). And an opinion piece describing a wealth tax as a ‘moral abomination’. What a time to be alive.
July 11, 2025 at 8:23 AM
The Telegraph today carries a news story about someone paying £7.4 million for a handbag (Hello, Lady Bracknell!). And an opinion piece describing a wealth tax as a ‘moral abomination’. What a time to be alive.
Reposted by Andy Kelly
A happy National Biscuit Day to all who celebrate.
🍪
🍪
May 29, 2025 at 9:21 AM
A happy National Biscuit Day to all who celebrate.
🍪
🍪
Reposted by Andy Kelly
Thinkinge of askinge Chat GPT a questioun about your plannes? Trye a tarot deck. Cheaper, bettir for the environment, bettir resultes.
May 25, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Thinkinge of askinge Chat GPT a questioun about your plannes? Trye a tarot deck. Cheaper, bettir for the environment, bettir resultes.
Reposted by Andy Kelly
🚨 BLOODY HELL: News Causes Journalist To Have On-Air Meltdown.
👇🏻 #BrokenNews would like to apologise about this update. Please do not share it.
youtu.be/cTt09yGQdhw?...
👇🏻 #BrokenNews would like to apologise about this update. Please do not share it.
youtu.be/cTt09yGQdhw?...
#BrokenNews - Journalist Has Meltdown While Reading The News
YouTube video by Larry & Paul
youtu.be
May 13, 2025 at 8:32 AM
🚨 BLOODY HELL: News Causes Journalist To Have On-Air Meltdown.
👇🏻 #BrokenNews would like to apologise about this update. Please do not share it.
youtu.be/cTt09yGQdhw?...
👇🏻 #BrokenNews would like to apologise about this update. Please do not share it.
youtu.be/cTt09yGQdhw?...
Reposted by Andy Kelly
I have tariffed
the penguins
that are on
Heard Island
and which
you were probably
assuming
did not export goods
forgive me
they were taking advantage of us
so cunning
and so cold
the penguins
that are on
Heard Island
and which
you were probably
assuming
did not export goods
forgive me
they were taking advantage of us
so cunning
and so cold
April 3, 2025 at 7:45 PM
I have tariffed
the penguins
that are on
Heard Island
and which
you were probably
assuming
did not export goods
forgive me
they were taking advantage of us
so cunning
and so cold
the penguins
that are on
Heard Island
and which
you were probably
assuming
did not export goods
forgive me
they were taking advantage of us
so cunning
and so cold
Reposted by Andy Kelly
"Should we do something? It feels like we should do something. Hopefully, I’ll feel more like I can dedicate the brain space to that just as soon as I finish my work, which is tuning this glockenspiel."
I’m a German Citizen in 1933, and Is It Just Me or Is It Really Hard to Get Any Work Done Right Now?
Guten tag. I’m just wondering if anybody else can relate to this feeling I’ve been having that I just can’t shake. It’s only Tuesday, but what a we...
www.mcsweeneys.net
April 3, 2025 at 1:40 AM
"Should we do something? It feels like we should do something. Hopefully, I’ll feel more like I can dedicate the brain space to that just as soon as I finish my work, which is tuning this glockenspiel."
Reposted by Andy Kelly
March 16, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Reposted by Andy Kelly
Congratulations to Newcastle. If ever a set of fans in England deserved silverware. They did it in spite of a cheating referee who played TWICE the designated stoppage time. #ToonArmy
March 16, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Congratulations to Newcastle. If ever a set of fans in England deserved silverware. They did it in spite of a cheating referee who played TWICE the designated stoppage time. #ToonArmy
Reposted by Andy Kelly
Well shit.
February 8, 2025 at 5:04 AM
Well shit.
Reposted by Andy Kelly
Reposted by Andy Kelly
Waking up with a hangover in your 20s
vs
Waking up with a hangover in your 40s
vs
Waking up with a hangover in your 40s
December 13, 2024 at 1:14 PM
Waking up with a hangover in your 20s
vs
Waking up with a hangover in your 40s
vs
Waking up with a hangover in your 40s
Reposted by Andy Kelly
Insurance Company Celebrates 50 Billionth Fucking Over Of Customer
theonion.com/insurance-co...
theonion.com/insurance-co...
December 11, 2024 at 7:58 PM
Insurance Company Celebrates 50 Billionth Fucking Over Of Customer
theonion.com/insurance-co...
theonion.com/insurance-co...
Reposted by Andy Kelly
Zappa was way ahead of his time - insightful and perfectly articulate.
December 8, 2024 at 9:33 PM
Zappa was way ahead of his time - insightful and perfectly articulate.
Heading out this evening to watch Gladiator II. Probably not historically authentic, but does (I assume) include lots of people getting twatted with big fuck-off swords... and shouty Denzel. So on balance I'm good with it.
November 17, 2024 at 7:13 PM
Heading out this evening to watch Gladiator II. Probably not historically authentic, but does (I assume) include lots of people getting twatted with big fuck-off swords... and shouty Denzel. So on balance I'm good with it.
Reposted by Andy Kelly
I held off for a long time. But my corner of Twitter is now literally that bit where Michael Ironside looks over the wall in Starship Troopers and it's just bugs as far as the eye can see. So fuck it.
November 14, 2024 at 2:00 PM
I held off for a long time. But my corner of Twitter is now literally that bit where Michael Ironside looks over the wall in Starship Troopers and it's just bugs as far as the eye can see. So fuck it.
Joining the exodus from the other place. Hopefully there are fewer nazi sock puppets, mad orange clown worshippers, or apartheid billionaire manchildren desperately seeking social acceptance round these parts.
Any follow suggestions for culture, sport, and general good craic gratefully accepted!
Any follow suggestions for culture, sport, and general good craic gratefully accepted!
November 14, 2024 at 12:38 PM
Joining the exodus from the other place. Hopefully there are fewer nazi sock puppets, mad orange clown worshippers, or apartheid billionaire manchildren desperately seeking social acceptance round these parts.
Any follow suggestions for culture, sport, and general good craic gratefully accepted!
Any follow suggestions for culture, sport, and general good craic gratefully accepted!