Unwinder
@unwinder.bsky.social
I am here to make posts. I am ABSOLUTELY NOT here to read posts.
The scene in [redacted] where [redacted] chops off [redacted]'s [redacted] for what seems like [redacted] minutes is pretty embarrassing.
January 5, 2026 at 8:40 PM
The scene in [redacted] where [redacted] chops off [redacted]'s [redacted] for what seems like [redacted] minutes is pretty embarrassing.
Grudgingly adding the Mypillow guy to the list of wacky goofballs that I am now obliged to take seriously.
Walz will hold a news conference at 11 a.m. on Monday, Jan. 5 to discuss his decision to exit the 2026 governor’s race. In a statement Monday morning, Walz said he “came to the conclusion that I can’t give a political campaign my all.”
Gov. Tim Walz announces he won’t seek third term as he faces national scrutiny over fraud
Walz has faced national scrutiny over fraud in state programs, and a growing number of Democrats had privately expressed concern about his run for a third term.
bit.ly
January 5, 2026 at 2:53 PM
Grudgingly adding the Mypillow guy to the list of wacky goofballs that I am now obliged to take seriously.
Baby has the flu and I'm looking at probably being up all night with him. My four year old also has the flu. Also I have it.
January 5, 2026 at 6:25 AM
Baby has the flu and I'm looking at probably being up all night with him. My four year old also has the flu. Also I have it.
Reposted by Unwinder
this is one of the problems with scheming viziers running the show, trump says, clearly, that it's about the oil, and to him, it might be; for rubio, it's something different, for hegseth, it's yet again something different. the insanity comes from trying to reconcile three competing thoughts
The amount of “this is clearly about oil” posting across all platforms as story after story comes out where the oil industry is saying that the oil isn’t worth extracting is making me feel a little insane
January 4, 2026 at 10:50 PM
this is one of the problems with scheming viziers running the show, trump says, clearly, that it's about the oil, and to him, it might be; for rubio, it's something different, for hegseth, it's yet again something different. the insanity comes from trying to reconcile three competing thoughts
I thought that the rest of the world was just going to ride these four years out but now I feel like he's gonna get assassinated.
January 4, 2026 at 11:05 PM
I thought that the rest of the world was just going to ride these four years out but now I feel like he's gonna get assassinated.
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I promise you, you'll never guess which "politics" they're referring to
January 4, 2026 at 4:39 PM
I promise you, you'll never guess which "politics" they're referring to
Reposted by Unwinder
Mfw Splinter is on the Epstein flight logs
January 2, 2026 at 2:04 PM
Mfw Splinter is on the Epstein flight logs
Seeing people on here complaining about "new" Kermit the Frog "voice actor" Matt Vogel's voice. He's not a voice actor! He's a puppeteer! You could certainly find someone who does the voice better, but that's not the whole gig! You need somebody who can operate the puppet convincingly too!
January 2, 2026 at 7:23 PM
Seeing people on here complaining about "new" Kermit the Frog "voice actor" Matt Vogel's voice. He's not a voice actor! He's a puppeteer! You could certainly find someone who does the voice better, but that's not the whole gig! You need somebody who can operate the puppet convincingly too!
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just saw a billionaire pack all his things in a bindle and start leaving new york city on foot. he turned and looked at me with tears in his eyes and said “maybe one day when this city is safe we’ll return” before walking away
January 1, 2026 at 6:59 PM
just saw a billionaire pack all his things in a bindle and start leaving new york city on foot. he turned and looked at me with tears in his eyes and said “maybe one day when this city is safe we’ll return” before walking away
Once again silicon valley is trying to invent my wife
Musk is actually operating near the peak of his mental abilities when he talks; he's just intensely stupid. Altman just doesn't care - he opens his mouth and lets it rip. This is from a week ago
December 31, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Once again silicon valley is trying to invent my wife
Lol, the guy who works in the cubicle across from me is constantly repeating the same story about how he only agreed to get vaxed for covid because the company offered to pay him $1000 but after taxes it was only like $650 and he would have never done it if he had known it would be so little.
all it really takes to understand the extent of how little rightwingers know about reality is to just talk to a rightwinger immeshed in the far right media ecosystem. they start saying things like “AOC is worth 30 million dollars” and you realize this is the average american now
December 31, 2025 at 1:35 PM
Lol, the guy who works in the cubicle across from me is constantly repeating the same story about how he only agreed to get vaxed for covid because the company offered to pay him $1000 but after taxes it was only like $650 and he would have never done it if he had known it would be so little.
Reposted by Unwinder
Reposted by Unwinder
“Reverse Jared” is just such an unfuckwithable joke - the twitter version of Jordan switching hands mid lay up
rip to Mike Fossey - one of best to ever do it
rip to Mike Fossey - one of best to ever do it
December 31, 2025 at 2:53 AM
“Reverse Jared” is just such an unfuckwithable joke - the twitter version of Jordan switching hands mid lay up
rip to Mike Fossey - one of best to ever do it
rip to Mike Fossey - one of best to ever do it
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This was a pretty good one
December 31, 2025 at 12:57 AM
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So many classics of the form, RIP to a legend
December 30, 2025 at 2:57 PM
So many classics of the form, RIP to a legend
Reposted by Unwinder
"its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do" is one of my all time favorite tweets, but as a public service I share this tumblr collection of the entire 26-tweet reply chain it was part of (courtesy of haywire4) www.tumblr.com/haywire4/173...
![mikefossey: Check this shit out motherfucker [I slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do]
DinkMagic: Ever seen this before [I throw my hat like a frisbee 10 feet away and jump over near it]
mikefossey: [I run down a flight of stairs, stop at the second to last step, I pause, and then I jump the last two steps. I do not land it]
DinkMagic: [i throw a grape up in the air and open my mouth but i get scared that i breathed in some fluff and start choking violently]
mikefossey: [I'm doing a mime act where I pretend to pull on a rope but I somehow accidentally grab a real rope and I pull myself off stage]
DinkMagic: [im cooking an omelette and i flip the pan and snatch the omelette out of the air with my hand burning myself] tadaa](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreicpeii4u2iirkgscaerpb5tltbs4ohykg2obbvchzo56pjzo4juie@jpeg)
![mikefossey: [I kick some dust at a guy after losing an argument but the dust flies up into my mouth and I cough so hard I barf]
DinkMagic: [my friend says im going to the store toss me your keys but i see a strange bird and instead throw my wallet in the ditch]
mikefossey: [guy passes me on the highway and flips me off, I throw a full cup of coffee at my own windshield and it spills all over the car]
DinkMagic: [i toss an apple into my elbow-pit to bounce it back out but i miss and try to bite it out of the air but bite my tongue]
mikefossey: [I try to throw a beer can into the recycle but it hits the trash can instead and it's still mostly full so it knocks it over]
DinkMagic: [2 girls are arguing i say here let me solve this and i flip a gold coin i bought on ebay so hard it breaks a fluorescent tube](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreid5fec634tvopl2nybom2l7yrys7hrqbgrpq5gneukqiwt3zm44qu@jpeg)
![mikefossey: [I ask the guy at the store to recommend me a beer and he talks to me for 23 minutes before he realizes i think beer is wine]
DinkMagic: [i ask to be excused from dinner to do homework & then phone my mom because i broke my wrist playing street fighter at 7-11]
mikefossey: [I bite a gold coin to see if it's real, but it's chocolate. I try to play it cool and eat the whole thing without unwrapping it]
DinkMagic: [a teams softball rolls near me] i got this my friends a cuban pitcher [i throw the ball into the back of my own head & faint]
mikefossey: Here, let me park for you, Im really good at parallel parking [i walk over to the driver side and slam my dick in the car door]
DinkMagic: [i testify under oath that i thought a mortgage was a special kind of measuring tape]
mikefossey: [I'm cracking my knuckles and limbering up to fight but then a guy who's on his way to another fight accidentally knocks me over]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreihgywpjsvklyn2mdkfnvn2e4rknldwwa6brmtfkfkrpimkjj76tp4@jpeg)
![DinkMagic: [i ask the butcher for two pounds of boneless chicken Brent]
mikefossey: [at a dinner party I lean on the grand piano while telling a story, but the lid is open and I fall into it, hitting every string]
DinkMagic: [i get anxious at a fancy bar and order a martini and then say "could you imagine if this was soup" to no one really loud]
mikefossey: I try to open a beer with a lighter but I shatter the bottle and cut my hand, and also light my shirt on fire with the lighter]
DinkMagic: [i ride up on my new dirtbike revving it, and set the kickstand down on my own foot and start crying]
mikefossey: [I get water up my nose while I'm doing the dishes and knock my glasses into the garbage disposal when I go to rub my nose]
DinkMagic: [i get angry that I got confused & told an Italian that pizza came from Russia I drive to little Caesars & throw a stone at it](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreifw77g6afsgy7rhshwknw4kcdgujwj4al6ymbwiawohrn6wc5hpme@jpeg)
December 26, 2024 at 9:16 PM
"its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do" is one of my all time favorite tweets, but as a public service I share this tumblr collection of the entire 26-tweet reply chain it was part of (courtesy of haywire4) www.tumblr.com/haywire4/173...
Reposted by Unwinder
This one is not as well remembered but damn I love it
December 30, 2025 at 3:48 PM
This one is not as well remembered but damn I love it
Reposted by Unwinder
Reposted by Unwinder
The goat! sad news for all of us. Here’s my favorite:
December 30, 2025 at 4:16 PM
The goat! sad news for all of us. Here’s my favorite:
Reposted by Unwinder
Hot dog on the ground was such a good tweet I must have posted a thousand times. RIP to one of the best.
December 30, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Hot dog on the ground was such a good tweet I must have posted a thousand times. RIP to one of the best.
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I’m sure someone has shared these, possibly in this thread, but I skimmed and didn’t see them, so adding them on
December 30, 2025 at 7:44 PM
I’m sure someone has shared these, possibly in this thread, but I skimmed and didn’t see them, so adding them on
Reposted by Unwinder
Reposted by Unwinder
Who can ever forget this banger. We lost a real one.
December 30, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Who can ever forget this banger. We lost a real one.
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Rest in peace to Mike F, one of the all-time greats
December 30, 2025 at 8:37 PM
Rest in peace to Mike F, one of the all-time greats
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mike fossey had a million good tweets but this is probably the one i think about the most, doing woodworking post-2010ish
December 30, 2025 at 3:19 PM
mike fossey had a million good tweets but this is probably the one i think about the most, doing woodworking post-2010ish