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unwinder.bsky.social
Unwinder
@unwinder.bsky.social
570 followers 220 following 2K posts
I am here to make posts. I am ABSOLUTELY NOT here to read posts.
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unwinder.bsky.social
My three year old drew this incredible self portrait and the simpletons at the preschool made her erase it.
November 4, 2025 at 5:37 PM
unwinder.bsky.social
Reading Redburn, one of the novels Herman Melville wrote before Moby Dick, and went "WHAT THE FUCK???" at this passage.
October 14, 2025 at 4:15 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
Haven't read The Brothers Karamazov because I think it's about a guy with a giant prehensile wang.
October 1, 2025 at 6:28 PM
unwinder.bsky.social
My wife got this accidental Renaissance painting photo of me this morning with the cats, please enjoy
Me in my living room in my pajamas with one of my cats on my lap, leaning over to scratch my other cat.
August 25, 2025 at 12:45 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
Made this dumb picture for laughs in 2019 and it inspired me to attempt to write a novel about it
August 22, 2025 at 5:14 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
Whenever someone tells you about something from the old Star Wars expanded universe that they want to see reused now, it's always the most woefully nineties shit that has ever been conceived.
A picture of some Yuuzan Vong guys who look like characters from Spawn or some shit.
August 7, 2025 at 10:07 PM
unwinder.bsky.social
Hey so why did the canonical Impossible Beauty Standard for women get permanently stuck somewhere around 2003?
A Pizzacake comic where she depicts herself with huge breasts and a tiny waist, and she makes fun of it.
July 31, 2025 at 4:11 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
Tee shirt that says "I am a boy and/or it's June 9th today."
Dumb meme that says "Boys wear it daily, but girls wear it once a year. What is it?"
July 15, 2025 at 6:31 PM
unwinder.bsky.social
This has got to be among the most literary of the Beginner Books. Protagonist struggles to reclaim his repressed nature and displeases his capricious master by succeeding too wildly, turning his world upside-down, and literally digging his own grave until he allows his power to harnessed as labor.
June 11, 2025 at 2:31 PM
unwinder.bsky.social
This is obviously richly deserved,cathartic, and funny, but also wow, he's completely normalized weaponizing his office to punish his personal enemies to the point where this barely registers as corrupt anymore.
June 6, 2025 at 1:42 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
There was a chat about food at work today, and it didn't take long for people to start saying stuff that sounded like Achewood food.
A quote from a Teams chat: "I'm back, but just long enough to say I'm going to lunch. No one asked, but it's Spaghetti Os & Meatballs sprinkled with Turmeric and Black Pepper. Discuss if you dare. A screenshot from a teams chat: "when I was in highschool my debate team would do 'chipizza' where we'd order a chipotle burrito and unroll it on top of a little ceasars pizza"
May 17, 2025 at 2:49 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
Here we go, look at these gamer kids. Gonna grow up to be sarcastic about Nintendo. Then one of them will build a robot that's a different kind of sarcastic about Nintendo.
April 3, 2025 at 5:28 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
Just discovered that Donald Trump got one of his signature facial expressions (the "tough guy duckface") from Mutiny on the Bounty (1962). An absolutely massive insight into one of the most powerful men on earth.
A Donald Trump tweet from 2020. "Tell the Democrat Governors that “Mutiny On The Bounty” was one of my all time favorite movies. A good old fashioned mutiny every now and then is an exciting and invigorating thing to watch, especially when the mutineers need so much from the Captain. Too easy!" Captain Blight, as depicted by Trevor Howard, doing a facial expression that looks uncannily like one that Donald Trump frequently uses.
March 11, 2025 at 2:23 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
Oh my gosh, I was right
A Donald Trump from 2020 in which he claims Mutiny on the Bounty as one of his favorite films, and seems to place himself in the Captain Bligh role.
March 11, 2025 at 1:59 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
@oldfriend99.bsky.social saw this earlier in my house, might look at it again later
February 7, 2025 at 2:17 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
Ray saying no to a suggestion involving an image of a dog being killed.
February 5, 2025 at 3:37 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
An email to DEIAtruth Subject: "Bonkers" television series replaced Lucky with a girl cop Body: detective lucky piquel was replaced by a girl cop in the later episodes, completely ruining the series. She is not as good of a cop, and isn't very funny. Please make more episodes with lucky.
January 23, 2025 at 5:06 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
I'm sorry, but it's really funny that this was a rule to begin with.
A CNN headline: "Calling women ‘household objects’ now permitted on Facebook after Meta updated its guidelines"
January 8, 2025 at 2:36 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
Meanwhile Tubi continues to have everything you could want.
A screenshot of two movies on Tubi, one is called "Sand World" and the other is called "Planet Dune." Both appear to be Dune mockbusters. They have nearly identical art, both showing big sandworms in a desert landscape charging at a defiant looking female figure in the foreground.
January 2, 2025 at 6:52 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
Charllie brown had hos
An email from LinkedIn. the subject is "Eli, you're on a roll on LinkedIn!"
December 27, 2024 at 3:31 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
Deep Impact/Armageddon situation deveoloping on Tubi
Screenshot of two animated movies, one is called Turkey Day, the other is called The Thanksgiving Movie. Both feature turkeys, one tagline is "This turkey has gone a-fowl" and the other says "He's turkey trouble!"
November 28, 2024 at 3:43 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
Generative AI is going to deprive us of incredible art like this.
An illustration for the poem Ozymandias. Some sort of adventurer with flowing robes and hair, and a staff, is standing on top of some sort of scaffold. He surveys a giant statue of a clown, which has crumbled until nothing is left but a pair of big clown shoes and a clown face lying on the ground.
November 21, 2024 at 5:57 PM
unwinder.bsky.social
November 5, 2024 at 3:39 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
Trying to do a bit where I actually Post on LinkedIn.
A post from me on LinkedIn. It's a screenshot of an email from LinkedIn that says "LinkedIn is better on the app" and encourages me to download said app. My comment is "Rubbing my hands together with glee, thrilled and giddy for the opportunity to improve my LinkedIn experience."
July 22, 2024 at 5:06 AM
unwinder.bsky.social
An installment of Unwinder's Tall Comics. Unwinder goes up to Horse-Man and asks if he has a gun (he doesn't) then urges him to buy a gun. Unwinder is beefing with someone online, and says that he needs a gun. He explains that his beef is with the author of a webcomic called "Weirdo Species" which strongly resembles Strange Planet. We see an example, featuring two aliens talking about drinking "dihydrogen oxide" from "a vessel made of melted sand." Unwinder has been replying to all of these comics with his own version, written in old-timey English instead of alien-speak. We see an example, with two bare-knuckle boxers talking about drinking "burbling watyr." This has led to a fight between Unwinder and the author in the comments, and the author has threatened to mail a bomb to Unwinder. Unwinder says he doesn't take death threats online seriously, but he wants to take a picture of a gun to reply with. Says he was thinking of using AI but doesn't want to take jobs from artists.
July 9, 2024 at 2:41 AM