John Stuart Chill ☃️
@jsthrill.modphi.com
⚠️ this account makes jokes ⚠️
he/him • philosophy professor • learning to be useless
a lotta yall still dont get it ape holders can use multiple slurp juices on a single ape
he/him • philosophy professor • learning to be useless
a lotta yall still dont get it ape holders can use multiple slurp juices on a single ape
Pinned
John Stuart Chill ☃️
@jsthrill.modphi.com
· May 26
Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says “It hurts when I do this.” Doctor says “Treatment is simple. Don’t do this.” Man bursts into tears.
“But Doctor, I *am* do this.”
Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.
“But Doctor, I *am* do this.”
Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.
I actually think her campaign manager should have time to drive one carload of tampons to the campaign office (even if the number of tampons that fit in the car is very large)
Turning campaigns into mutual aid hubs isn’t good for campaigns or mutual aid! Your campaign manager should be entirely too busy to schlep around 5600 tampons!
December 26, 2025 at 10:22 PM
I actually think her campaign manager should have time to drive one carload of tampons to the campaign office (even if the number of tampons that fit in the car is very large)
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
12YO girl signed up to do “stand up comedy” at the talent show. 13YO boy decided to heckle her. Teacher started to tell the boy to leave her alone, but the 12YO comedian said “no, no, let him go, this is the closest he’s ever going to get to having a conversation with a girl.”
What's an insult you'll never forget?
December 26, 2025 at 4:43 PM
12YO girl signed up to do “stand up comedy” at the talent show. 13YO boy decided to heckle her. Teacher started to tell the boy to leave her alone, but the 12YO comedian said “no, no, let him go, this is the closest he’s ever going to get to having a conversation with a girl.”
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
my boss, the chef: you can’t beat eggs for breakfast
me, making an omelette: what
me, making an omelette: what
January 7, 2025 at 3:15 PM
my boss, the chef: you can’t beat eggs for breakfast
me, making an omelette: what
me, making an omelette: what
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
NYT when a trans man wants to take testosterone: 😡😡😡😡😡
NYT when a cis woman wants to take testosterone: 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
NYT when a cis woman wants to take testosterone: 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
Earlier this year, we published an article on how women are increasingly seeking out testosterone to help with energy or their sex lives. We followed up with one woman who went on testosterone to help with her menopausal symptoms. The effects had unexpected consequences for her marriage.
What It’s Like When Your Wife Goes on Testosterone
She went on testosterone to help with her menopausal symptoms. The effects had unexpected consequences for their marriage.
nyti.ms
December 26, 2025 at 7:59 PM
NYT when a trans man wants to take testosterone: 😡😡😡😡😡
NYT when a cis woman wants to take testosterone: 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
NYT when a cis woman wants to take testosterone: 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
I'm ready to be the type of Democrat the Democratic Party has needed this entire time. The type of Democrat who will fight Trump’s authoritarianism by showing up, not with strongly worded letters.
The type of Democrat who will fight, not fold.
The type of Democrat who will fight, not fold.
December 26, 2025 at 10:03 PM
I'm ready to be the type of Democrat the Democratic Party has needed this entire time. The type of Democrat who will fight Trump’s authoritarianism by showing up, not with strongly worded letters.
The type of Democrat who will fight, not fold.
The type of Democrat who will fight, not fold.
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
Holy fck, this rag just can't help itself.
December 26, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Holy fck, this rag just can't help itself.
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
Seems to me this is a pathetic exhortation but an air-tight confession of guilt
Steve Bannon: "If we lose the midterms and we lose 2028, some in this room are going to prison, myself included."
December 26, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Seems to me this is a pathetic exhortation but an air-tight confession of guilt
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
I've started to see arguments that we have to get used to AI Slop coding even if it isn't great, because it's fast. Humans could go faster, too, if they're allowed to turn in stuff that only sometimes works. Such a fascinating double standard that will in no way come back to haunt, naw.
December 26, 2025 at 5:10 PM
I've started to see arguments that we have to get used to AI Slop coding even if it isn't great, because it's fast. Humans could go faster, too, if they're allowed to turn in stuff that only sometimes works. Such a fascinating double standard that will in no way come back to haunt, naw.
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
I again urge you to ask which is more likely: that millions of members of the public have gone insane, or that a comparatively tiny number of people at the heart of media and politics - who all know each other and often work together - have driven *themselves and each other* crazy.
As previously noted, below:
December 26, 2025 at 12:36 PM
I again urge you to ask which is more likely: that millions of members of the public have gone insane, or that a comparatively tiny number of people at the heart of media and politics - who all know each other and often work together - have driven *themselves and each other* crazy.
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
ICE detain father shopping on Christmas Eve—then steal his family's groceries.
Then 3 agents divvy up his paid for food—taking what they want for themselves.
"Can I just get the wife's number to call and let her know?" woman asks.
"No, guess he should've complied," agent says.
Yakima, Washington
Then 3 agents divvy up his paid for food—taking what they want for themselves.
"Can I just get the wife's number to call and let her know?" woman asks.
"No, guess he should've complied," agent says.
Yakima, Washington
December 25, 2025 at 7:03 PM
ICE detain father shopping on Christmas Eve—then steal his family's groceries.
Then 3 agents divvy up his paid for food—taking what they want for themselves.
"Can I just get the wife's number to call and let her know?" woman asks.
"No, guess he should've complied," agent says.
Yakima, Washington
Then 3 agents divvy up his paid for food—taking what they want for themselves.
"Can I just get the wife's number to call and let her know?" woman asks.
"No, guess he should've complied," agent says.
Yakima, Washington
Seems bad
Texas A&M University will not reinstate a lecturer who was fired after a video of her teaching about gender identity in a children’s literature class went viral, despite a faculty appeals panel unanimously concluding that her dismissal was not justified.
Texas A&M won’t reinstate fired lecturer despite findings
A vice chancellor upheld the firing of Melissa McCoul, seen in a viral video being confronted by a student on her gender identity teachings, saying the termination was done with “good cause.”
www.texastribune.org
December 26, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Seems bad
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
Facebook literally made a chatbot months ago that sexted with children while pretending to be John Cena, and *then* made a chatbot with actually-written out specific policies on how to sext with children.
Meanwhile, the US and UK are going wild destroying the internet in terror of trans people.
Meanwhile, the US and UK are going wild destroying the internet in terror of trans people.
August 15, 2025 at 12:04 PM
Facebook literally made a chatbot months ago that sexted with children while pretending to be John Cena, and *then* made a chatbot with actually-written out specific policies on how to sext with children.
Meanwhile, the US and UK are going wild destroying the internet in terror of trans people.
Meanwhile, the US and UK are going wild destroying the internet in terror of trans people.
I will agree that university professors don’t do magic
"If Gandalf was a university professor" rests on the idea that he could have been one. He was a loner. Did magic. Traveled. Changed the world.
December 26, 2025 at 3:23 PM
I will agree that university professors don’t do magic
This is bait, right?
Just saw someone describe Die Hard, a film in which it's made very explicit that all the cops except two are incompetent and one of the two exceptions has shot a child on the job by accident, as copaganda
December 26, 2025 at 3:16 PM
This is bait, right?
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
Don’t forget to leave a brick out for Ben Folds this morning
December 26, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Don’t forget to leave a brick out for Ben Folds this morning
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
Shout out to my road dogg Pot Bear
December 26, 2025 at 12:08 PM
Shout out to my road dogg Pot Bear
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
A kid I went to high school with got the nickname “Chops Bustable” cause someone thought it was really easy to bust his chops
What's an insult you'll never forget?
December 26, 2025 at 2:41 AM
A kid I went to high school with got the nickname “Chops Bustable” cause someone thought it was really easy to bust his chops
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
Die Hard was actually appropriated from pagans
December 26, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Die Hard was actually appropriated from pagans
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
my kid correctly recognizes that daddy likes to watch hockey, gramps likes to watch football, and mama likes to watch british people make cakes
December 25, 2025 at 10:04 PM
my kid correctly recognizes that daddy likes to watch hockey, gramps likes to watch football, and mama likes to watch british people make cakes
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
everyone likes unlimited PTO until someone tries to use it
Your president is spending 11% more days at his private company’s properties and 25% more days playing golf than at this point in his first term.
www.pbump.net/o/an-officia...
www.pbump.net/o/an-officia...
December 25, 2025 at 10:23 PM
everyone likes unlimited PTO until someone tries to use it
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
At your darkest moment, remind yourself, “at least I am not Marnie singing that Kanye song at her ex boyfriend’s start up’s party”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=68cm...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=68cm...
Marnie covers Stronger by Kanye West
YouTube video by jakejarvela
www.youtube.com
December 25, 2025 at 1:20 AM
At your darkest moment, remind yourself, “at least I am not Marnie singing that Kanye song at her ex boyfriend’s start up’s party”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=68cm...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=68cm...
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
OK Wayne but I also miss 100% of the shots I do take so where does that leave us
December 25, 2025 at 3:34 PM
OK Wayne but I also miss 100% of the shots I do take so where does that leave us
Reposted by John Stuart Chill ☃️
though this does remind me of one my all time pet peeves, that episode where Barclay sees creatures in the matter stream. You have been broken down into your component atoms and are being beamed across space, you do not have a functioning optic system in that moment.
December 25, 2025 at 3:21 PM
though this does remind me of one my all time pet peeves, that episode where Barclay sees creatures in the matter stream. You have been broken down into your component atoms and are being beamed across space, you do not have a functioning optic system in that moment.