Literally
@ummliterally.bsky.social
just another great ape
All my skeets - https://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/search
Best skeets bc I'm vain: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/feed/aaafyhv3we6vy
All my skeets - https://bsky.app/profile/ummliterally.bsky.social/search
Best skeets bc I'm vain: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nixduwqrwjgbdembbg3xqyzb/feed/aaafyhv3we6vy
Pinned
Literally
@ummliterally.bsky.social
· Mar 26
I can’t believe they have an entire Clinic just for studying Mayo.
Reposted by Literally
no news is good news anymore
December 15, 2025 at 1:24 PM
no news is good news anymore
Reposted by Literally
If you post a serious answer to a shitpost, you should receive an electric shock through your phone
January 7, 2026 at 4:11 PM
If you post a serious answer to a shitpost, you should receive an electric shock through your phone
Reposted by Literally
Reposted by Literally
Reposted by Literally
It sounds like an elephant mating call when I blow my nose, if that turns you on.
January 7, 2026 at 2:21 AM
It sounds like an elephant mating call when I blow my nose, if that turns you on.
Reposted by Literally
Creates a time machine that ends time. Ok, it's a casket and I didnt invent it
January 6, 2026 at 6:23 PM
Creates a time machine that ends time. Ok, it's a casket and I didnt invent it
Reposted by Literally
Hey you can't talk to me, my family, my ancestors, my dog, the ghosts in my vagina, the microorganisms in my gut and the old gods in my ribcage that way...
January 7, 2026 at 5:17 AM
Hey you can't talk to me, my family, my ancestors, my dog, the ghosts in my vagina, the microorganisms in my gut and the old gods in my ribcage that way...
Reposted by Literally
"I'm back" in the saddle again.
January 7, 2026 at 2:47 AM
"I'm back" in the saddle again.
Reposted by Literally
I almost forgot Tongue out Tuesday!
January 7, 2026 at 2:25 AM
I almost forgot Tongue out Tuesday!
Reposted by Literally
Something’s gotta give
Aka: Nothing has gotta give
Aka: Nothing has gotta give
December 9, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Something’s gotta give
Aka: Nothing has gotta give
Aka: Nothing has gotta give
Reposted by Literally
Being an American is like being in a murder mystery where the killer is always you.
January 5, 2026 at 1:26 AM
Being an American is like being in a murder mystery where the killer is always you.
Doing a bunch of banjo solos in public until someone beats me up.
January 7, 2026 at 2:43 AM
Doing a bunch of banjo solos in public until someone beats me up.
Reposted by Literally
since he has a wife santa claus is merried
January 7, 2026 at 1:40 AM
since he has a wife santa claus is merried
Reposted by Literally
First date idea: we get into a knife fight
December 28, 2025 at 3:16 PM
First date idea: we get into a knife fight
Reposted by Literally
I rehydrated your cum sock and am carrying your child, please respond
January 7, 2026 at 2:32 AM
I rehydrated your cum sock and am carrying your child, please respond
Reposted by Literally
Imagine you're given the gift of eternal youth and still can't afford to move out of your apartment.
January 5, 2026 at 11:49 PM
Imagine you're given the gift of eternal youth and still can't afford to move out of your apartment.
Reposted by Literally
When Lee Greenwood sang:
And I'm proud to be an American where at least I have big malls
And I won't forget the men who died, from getting tazered in the balls
And I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend cracker barrel still today
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this brand
God bless the USA!
And I'm proud to be an American where at least I have big malls
And I won't forget the men who died, from getting tazered in the balls
And I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend cracker barrel still today
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this brand
God bless the USA!
January 6, 2026 at 2:58 PM
When Lee Greenwood sang:
And I'm proud to be an American where at least I have big malls
And I won't forget the men who died, from getting tazered in the balls
And I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend cracker barrel still today
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this brand
God bless the USA!
And I'm proud to be an American where at least I have big malls
And I won't forget the men who died, from getting tazered in the balls
And I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend cracker barrel still today
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this brand
God bless the USA!
Reposted by Literally
You make me feel like doing things I’ve never done before!
* leaves dishes in sink overnight *
* leaves dishes in sink overnight *
January 6, 2026 at 1:24 PM
You make me feel like doing things I’ve never done before!
* leaves dishes in sink overnight *
* leaves dishes in sink overnight *
Reposted by Literally
The internet is basically people liking things and other people saying those things suck.
January 6, 2026 at 10:33 AM
The internet is basically people liking things and other people saying those things suck.
Too poor to afford a bidet? Just do downward dog in the rain...
January 6, 2026 at 1:55 PM
Too poor to afford a bidet? Just do downward dog in the rain...
Oh the irony. Put down your phone, but first, watch this video and smash that like button.
January 6, 2026 at 2:08 AM
Oh the irony. Put down your phone, but first, watch this video and smash that like button.
Reposted by Literally
Listening to my doctor listing the benefits of potassium:
Me: “K, sounds good”
Me: “K, sounds good”
January 4, 2026 at 10:41 PM
Listening to my doctor listing the benefits of potassium:
Me: “K, sounds good”
Me: “K, sounds good”
The power of sports drinks Propel you.
~ at the weekly PepsiCo meeting
~ at the weekly PepsiCo meeting
January 5, 2026 at 7:41 PM
The power of sports drinks Propel you.
~ at the weekly PepsiCo meeting
~ at the weekly PepsiCo meeting
Reposted by Literally
I merely mentioned to the eyewitness it would be a shame if he had an accident. Is concern against the law now?
January 5, 2026 at 7:23 PM
I merely mentioned to the eyewitness it would be a shame if he had an accident. Is concern against the law now?