Twinklebreeze
@twinklebreeze.bsky.social
A lurker and avid shitpost enjoyer. Also and arborist.
Pinned
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
she’s a 10 but Excel thinks she’s October
November 13, 2025 at 8:08 AM
she’s a 10 but Excel thinks she’s October
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
Somewhere out there someone who’s the best at what they do is terrified that they have imposter syndrome while a bunch of barely literate pedophiles are very calmly running the world
November 13, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Somewhere out there someone who’s the best at what they do is terrified that they have imposter syndrome while a bunch of barely literate pedophiles are very calmly running the world
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
Would like to address the rumours going around about me. They are categorically not true. In fact, I have actually had a few extra ribs added to ensure that sort of thing could never happen, even accidentally.
November 15, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Would like to address the rumours going around about me. They are categorically not true. In fact, I have actually had a few extra ribs added to ensure that sort of thing could never happen, even accidentally.
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
When you're a kid, no one ever warns you how much of adulthood is filled with random heartburn
November 14, 2025 at 6:04 AM
When you're a kid, no one ever warns you how much of adulthood is filled with random heartburn
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
Shout at the devil. Holler at ya boy. Speak at a reasonable volume to clerical staff.
November 8, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Shout at the devil. Holler at ya boy. Speak at a reasonable volume to clerical staff.
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
A recording tells you to leave a message at the tone, then emits a sound unlike any you've heard before. Your neck feels wet—you reach up to find your ear is bleeding. You watch the phone absorb your blood, and the mechanical voice informs you that your message has been received.
November 15, 2025 at 1:11 AM
A recording tells you to leave a message at the tone, then emits a sound unlike any you've heard before. Your neck feels wet—you reach up to find your ear is bleeding. You watch the phone absorb your blood, and the mechanical voice informs you that your message has been received.
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
just a reminder this guy slashed the tires on his much younger female coworkers tires to trick her into getting in his car
he was married at the time
he was married at the time
"All they could do to distract from the Schumer shutdown cover-up is leak Epstein emails ... What a sleazy leak."
Jesse Watters attacks Democrats for releasing Epstein emails
www.mediamatters.org
November 13, 2025 at 2:37 PM
just a reminder this guy slashed the tires on his much younger female coworkers tires to trick her into getting in his car
he was married at the time
he was married at the time
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
jd vance 2015: has anyone seen #Archer? #ThatsHowYouGetAnts lol!
jd vance 2025: I'm not saying it's necessarily good to be molested - no one is saying that - but if you are going to be molested, obviously you'd want the President of the United States to do it. Why do we pretend otherwise?
jd vance 2025: I'm not saying it's necessarily good to be molested - no one is saying that - but if you are going to be molested, obviously you'd want the President of the United States to do it. Why do we pretend otherwise?
November 13, 2025 at 5:09 PM
jd vance 2015: has anyone seen #Archer? #ThatsHowYouGetAnts lol!
jd vance 2025: I'm not saying it's necessarily good to be molested - no one is saying that - but if you are going to be molested, obviously you'd want the President of the United States to do it. Why do we pretend otherwise?
jd vance 2025: I'm not saying it's necessarily good to be molested - no one is saying that - but if you are going to be molested, obviously you'd want the President of the United States to do it. Why do we pretend otherwise?
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
The best sex is like a game of Clue. Six people in attendance, no one's afraid to use a candlestick. Tim Curry is there.
November 12, 2025 at 1:50 AM
The best sex is like a game of Clue. Six people in attendance, no one's afraid to use a candlestick. Tim Curry is there.
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
jd vance post: erm mom can you pick me up? liberals are trusting the word of *checks notes* jeffrey epstein??
trump post: "THE CORRECT TERM FOR THE PRESIDENT IS EPHEBOPHILE NOT PEDOPHILE" - THE GREAT MARK LEVIN ON FOX NEWS
trump post: "THE CORRECT TERM FOR THE PRESIDENT IS EPHEBOPHILE NOT PEDOPHILE" - THE GREAT MARK LEVIN ON FOX NEWS
November 12, 2025 at 10:58 PM
jd vance post: erm mom can you pick me up? liberals are trusting the word of *checks notes* jeffrey epstein??
trump post: "THE CORRECT TERM FOR THE PRESIDENT IS EPHEBOPHILE NOT PEDOPHILE" - THE GREAT MARK LEVIN ON FOX NEWS
trump post: "THE CORRECT TERM FOR THE PRESIDENT IS EPHEBOPHILE NOT PEDOPHILE" - THE GREAT MARK LEVIN ON FOX NEWS
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
Say what you want about Fat Bastard, the stereotypes he's riffing on, the sharpness of the writing, etc. But having him like to eat babies was a stroke of pure inspiration
November 14, 2025 at 4:48 AM
Say what you want about Fat Bastard, the stereotypes he's riffing on, the sharpness of the writing, etc. But having him like to eat babies was a stroke of pure inspiration
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
Yawns are weird. You're tired? Why don't you open your mouth really big about it? What's that? You're not tired, but you saw someone else open their mouth big? Well, guess what.
November 14, 2025 at 5:29 AM
Yawns are weird. You're tired? Why don't you open your mouth really big about it? What's that? You're not tired, but you saw someone else open their mouth big? Well, guess what.
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning
November 14, 2025 at 4:06 AM
getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
Everytime a lib comes up with a new pun to describe trump, im allowed to give a child one cigarette
November 14, 2025 at 12:27 PM
Everytime a lib comes up with a new pun to describe trump, im allowed to give a child one cigarette
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
Growing up in a time when “selling out” was the most shameful thing you could do and then being forced to live through the 2020s feels like being kicked in the head by a horse every day
November 13, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Growing up in a time when “selling out” was the most shameful thing you could do and then being forced to live through the 2020s feels like being kicked in the head by a horse every day
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
“I’m a Grok guy” is the single most embarrassing phrase ever uttered in the course of human history.
JD Vance: "I'm a Grok guy. I think it's the best. It's also the least woke."
November 14, 2025 at 2:35 AM
“I’m a Grok guy” is the single most embarrassing phrase ever uttered in the course of human history.
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
It must suck being wicked, I love rest
November 13, 2025 at 8:34 PM
It must suck being wicked, I love rest
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
You gotta Honk Shoo on thst Thang!!!
November 14, 2025 at 4:45 PM
You gotta Honk Shoo on thst Thang!!!
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
My wife left her shoes next to my favorite chair, and every time I see them in my peripheral vision I think it’s my dogs begging for food.
I’ve now offered a Milk-Bone to a loafer, and I swear one of them growled at me.
I’ve now offered a Milk-Bone to a loafer, and I swear one of them growled at me.
November 14, 2025 at 4:45 PM
My wife left her shoes next to my favorite chair, and every time I see them in my peripheral vision I think it’s my dogs begging for food.
I’ve now offered a Milk-Bone to a loafer, and I swear one of them growled at me.
I’ve now offered a Milk-Bone to a loafer, and I swear one of them growled at me.
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
Kourtney Kardashian Casually Mentions She Passed Bar Just Fine
November 14, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Kourtney Kardashian Casually Mentions She Passed Bar Just Fine
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
Years ago I was suspended on Twitter for inviting Marco Rubio to swallow ten D batteries, which I don’t see how it could be a threat; he and I were not even in the same room and I have at most six D batteries on hand
November 14, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Years ago I was suspended on Twitter for inviting Marco Rubio to swallow ten D batteries, which I don’t see how it could be a threat; he and I were not even in the same room and I have at most six D batteries on hand
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
please do not tell me when someone is calling my phone. that is between the other person and my phone and i am not invested in any of that business
November 14, 2025 at 8:37 PM
please do not tell me when someone is calling my phone. that is between the other person and my phone and i am not invested in any of that business
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
crazy
IG em_clarkson
IG em_clarkson
November 14, 2025 at 2:54 AM
crazy
IG em_clarkson
IG em_clarkson
Reposted by Twinklebreeze
Keep turning up that dial, Bluesky! You're doing great!
November 14, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Keep turning up that dial, Bluesky! You're doing great!