Timothy Malstead
@timothymalstead.com
Dev, sometimes writer and artist and definitely not a bot. Enjoying Bluesky so far.
🕸️: timothymalstead.com
🕸️: timothymalstead.com
Pinned
Timothy Malstead
@timothymalstead.com
· Apr 18
Dev, artist, sometimes wordsmith and asker of obvious questions. I like the web, I like making things and I like you.
Not a prolific poster or creator and no plans to become one.
Trying Bluesky, liking it so far. Very purposefully taking it slow.
#intro
Not a prolific poster or creator and no plans to become one.
Trying Bluesky, liking it so far. Very purposefully taking it slow.
#intro
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
many rich people lost their minds because social media let proles tell them they sucked
January 9, 2026 at 10:22 PM
many rich people lost their minds because social media let proles tell them they sucked
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
it clearly needs to be repeated that layoffs are a leadership failure, full stop.
January 8, 2026 at 8:44 PM
it clearly needs to be repeated that layoffs are a leadership failure, full stop.
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier
January 3, 2026 at 10:57 PM
this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
Instead of whatever this is, we should have a government getting lots of new homes and apartments built, lots of clean energy built, lots of high speed rail and transit and bike lanes built, human rights for everyone, economic & healthcare opportunities for all, & innovation that leads the world.
January 4, 2026 at 2:12 AM
Instead of whatever this is, we should have a government getting lots of new homes and apartments built, lots of clean energy built, lots of high speed rail and transit and bike lanes built, human rights for everyone, economic & healthcare opportunities for all, & innovation that leads the world.
Excited to announce that our new app Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!
Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo! has exited stealth.
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!
Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo! has exited stealth.
Excited to announce GOLLUM, an app that helps you focus on your most precious possession!
Sauron is appearing on the scene as concerns rise about crime among the most wealthy.
December 29, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Excited to announce that our new app Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!
Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo! has exited stealth.
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!
Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo! has exited stealth.
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
My most popular twitter post...
December 28, 2025 at 10:47 PM
My most popular twitter post...
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
the problem with dedicating campaign funds toward charitable endeavors is what if you lose and then all you’ve done is helped people in need in your community?
December 27, 2025 at 9:38 PM
the problem with dedicating campaign funds toward charitable endeavors is what if you lose and then all you’ve done is helped people in need in your community?
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
Not to be controversial but I think we should use tools and resources to make people's lives less miserable instead of more
December 27, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Not to be controversial but I think we should use tools and resources to make people's lives less miserable instead of more
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
did you know you can make your own website. yes, even you, person who thinks it requires super coding skills you think you'll never have. it doesn't, you can do it too. yes even if you've never written a line of code before. no, not using one of those site building services you keep getting ads for
December 25, 2025 at 12:41 AM
did you know you can make your own website. yes, even you, person who thinks it requires super coding skills you think you'll never have. it doesn't, you can do it too. yes even if you've never written a line of code before. no, not using one of those site building services you keep getting ads for
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
I need to share this with someone
December 22, 2025 at 9:59 PM
I need to share this with someone
Merchant Ivory style comedy-of-errors Star Trek
sexy teen soap set at starfleet academy? why not! they should make every type of show star trek. moody scandinavian police procedural star trek. half-hour family sitcom starring worf. vulcan columbo
🚨 BREAKING - New Star Trek: #StarfleetAcademy Poster!
The first season of the new #StarTrek live-action series premieres January 15th on Paramount+
🖖 Will YOU be watching?
The first season of the new #StarTrek live-action series premieres January 15th on Paramount+
🖖 Will YOU be watching?
December 4, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Merchant Ivory style comedy-of-errors Star Trek
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
“Strong floor, no ceiling” is absolutely the type of slogan that a focus group of swing voters will tell you they find appealing after it has been a whole hour and they just want to go home.
It’s a slogan for people convinced this country *really* wants a Mike Bloomberg presidential campaign.
It’s a slogan for people convinced this country *really* wants a Mike Bloomberg presidential campaign.
November 30, 2025 at 3:04 PM
“Strong floor, no ceiling” is absolutely the type of slogan that a focus group of swing voters will tell you they find appealing after it has been a whole hour and they just want to go home.
It’s a slogan for people convinced this country *really* wants a Mike Bloomberg presidential campaign.
It’s a slogan for people convinced this country *really* wants a Mike Bloomberg presidential campaign.
Guillermo Del Toro's Duck Soup
guillermo del toro’s ferris bueller
Guillermo del Toro’s Johnny Mnemonic.
November 26, 2025 at 5:18 AM
Guillermo Del Toro's Duck Soup
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
“THE NON-ARTIST FIXATION ON HYPERREALISM AS THE PINNACLE OF ART IS CLEARLY PART OF THE REASON SO MANY ADULTS THINK THEY CANNOT DRAW OR CONSIDER THEMSELVES TO BE FAILURES, KAWAII, FOLK ART, DOODLES, OR OTHER EASIER ENTRY POINTS ARE CONSIDERED CHILDISH, WHICH IS WHY JAPANESE DRAWING BOOKS ARE BETTER…”
November 21, 2025 at 9:24 PM
“THE NON-ARTIST FIXATION ON HYPERREALISM AS THE PINNACLE OF ART IS CLEARLY PART OF THE REASON SO MANY ADULTS THINK THEY CANNOT DRAW OR CONSIDER THEMSELVES TO BE FAILURES, KAWAII, FOLK ART, DOODLES, OR OTHER EASIER ENTRY POINTS ARE CONSIDERED CHILDISH, WHICH IS WHY JAPANESE DRAWING BOOKS ARE BETTER…”
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
i haven't noticed the cloudflare outage because i've only been visiting morally pure websites today
November 18, 2025 at 1:11 PM
i haven't noticed the cloudflare outage because i've only been visiting morally pure websites today
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
Not to brag or anything, but my posts are enjoyed by approximately 5 people 😕
November 16, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Not to brag or anything, but my posts are enjoyed by approximately 5 people 😕
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
We need a combo of the New Deal and Reconstruction
In TURBO drive
In TURBO drive
November 13, 2025 at 2:15 AM
We need a combo of the New Deal and Reconstruction
In TURBO drive
In TURBO drive
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
that the ruling class are a bunch of pederasts and decadent sex fiends trafficking in catamites and jailbait concubines is, like much else, a return to the historical mean rather than an unprecedented depravity
November 12, 2025 at 11:36 PM
that the ruling class are a bunch of pederasts and decadent sex fiends trafficking in catamites and jailbait concubines is, like much else, a return to the historical mean rather than an unprecedented depravity
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
Time to start a conspiracy theory that their hideous punctuation and grammar is actually a form of code which can be deciphered to reveal the location of their adrenochrome storage tanks.
November 12, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Time to start a conspiracy theory that their hideous punctuation and grammar is actually a form of code which can be deciphered to reveal the location of their adrenochrome storage tanks.
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
Male pattern kindness
November 9, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Male pattern kindness
Reposted by Timothy Malstead
<script>alert(‘XSS injection tonight queen??’)</script>
November 9, 2025 at 3:41 AM
<script>alert(‘XSS injection tonight queen??’)</script>
Welcome to Target
November 9, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Welcome to Target
Good things are possible and we don't have to settle
Good things are possible and we don't have to settle 😭
Good things are possible and we don’t have to settle.
November 5, 2025 at 6:01 AM
Good things are possible and we don't have to settle