The Fishpants
@thefishpants.bsky.social
Obscure References, Fart Jokes and Swears*
*ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒᶜᶜᵃˢᶦᵒⁿᵃˡ ˢᵘʳᵖʳᶦˢᵉ "ᵖᵉⁿᶦˢ"
My Best Jokes (Allegedly):
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:c7efvddpc6qlokhzdkcpphwg/feed/aaaeubvvn5rcm
All:
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaahooxkl375u
*ᵃⁿᵈ ᵒᶜᶜᵃˢᶦᵒⁿᵃˡ ˢᵘʳᵖʳᶦˢᵉ "ᵖᵉⁿᶦˢ"
My Best Jokes (Allegedly):
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:c7efvddpc6qlokhzdkcpphwg/feed/aaaeubvvn5rcm
All:
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaahooxkl375u
Pinned
The Fishpants
@thefishpants.bsky.social
· Nov 14
A Hellboy sequel where he finally grows up to be Hellman so he can take over the family mayonnaise business
Reposted by The Fishpants
Reposted by The Fishpants
that’s one long mermaid
December 31, 2025 at 1:54 PM
that’s one long mermaid
Reposted by The Fishpants
I want a new year...one that does what it should.
December 31, 2025 at 1:42 PM
I want a new year...one that does what it should.
Reposted by The Fishpants
I can't be mildly amused until after I've had some tums
December 30, 2025 at 11:21 PM
I can't be mildly amused until after I've had some tums
Reposted by The Fishpants
As the dogs and bees continued their attack, I tried in vain to remember my favorite things.
November 5, 2025 at 1:52 AM
As the dogs and bees continued their attack, I tried in vain to remember my favorite things.
Reposted by The Fishpants
You should be able to rev your shopping cart at people in the grocery store
December 30, 2025 at 4:44 PM
You should be able to rev your shopping cart at people in the grocery store
Reposted by The Fishpants
Email from landlord riddled with typos. “premisis” “dammage” “mesh lab”
December 29, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Email from landlord riddled with typos. “premisis” “dammage” “mesh lab”
Reposted by The Fishpants
Reposted by The Fishpants
I gave up, but in a hot, mysterious way.
November 21, 2025 at 4:28 AM
I gave up, but in a hot, mysterious way.
Reposted by The Fishpants
gm but only to other people injured in the night by sleep
December 29, 2025 at 12:59 PM
gm but only to other people injured in the night by sleep
Reposted by The Fishpants
"That's nothing, you should see my dicks!"
-A hydra
-A hydra
December 29, 2025 at 2:30 PM
"That's nothing, you should see my dicks!"
-A hydra
-A hydra
"What? Ew no, I just want you to jerk off on my eggs!"
-The first mermaid to talk to a sailor, probably
-The first mermaid to talk to a sailor, probably
December 29, 2025 at 2:28 PM
"What? Ew no, I just want you to jerk off on my eggs!"
-The first mermaid to talk to a sailor, probably
-The first mermaid to talk to a sailor, probably
Reposted by The Fishpants
i think 2025 felt like having rabies
December 27, 2025 at 6:55 PM
i think 2025 felt like having rabies
Reposted by The Fishpants
An ashtray, but to tap off cookie crumbs in between bites.
January 20, 2024 at 10:16 PM
An ashtray, but to tap off cookie crumbs in between bites.
If daylight savings had kept up with inflation it would have been tomorrow yesterday
December 25, 2025 at 2:56 PM
If daylight savings had kept up with inflation it would have been tomorrow yesterday
Reposted by The Fishpants
I bought my wife an O. Henry book for Christmas and it turns out she just sold her eyes.
December 17, 2024 at 6:08 PM
I bought my wife an O. Henry book for Christmas and it turns out she just sold her eyes.
Reposted by The Fishpants
I can’t believe we have to smuggle our own news in from Canada now.
December 24, 2025 at 11:24 PM
I can’t believe we have to smuggle our own news in from Canada now.
Reposted by The Fishpants
from the Women Builders of the Metro series — Alexander Samokhvalov, 1937
Oil on canvas
45,1 x 28,2
Oil on canvas
45,1 x 28,2
December 22, 2025 at 1:04 AM
from the Women Builders of the Metro series — Alexander Samokhvalov, 1937
Oil on canvas
45,1 x 28,2
Oil on canvas
45,1 x 28,2
Reposted by The Fishpants
I quit my job today. Shit, that felt great.
December 20, 2025 at 11:03 PM
I quit my job today. Shit, that felt great.
Reposted by The Fishpants
Strangely frustrating and invigorating to play a highly praised video game that's good but any time anyone opens their mouths think, "I could write this better"
December 16, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Strangely frustrating and invigorating to play a highly praised video game that's good but any time anyone opens their mouths think, "I could write this better"
Reposted by The Fishpants
You will be visited by 3 ghosts
December 18, 2025 at 9:09 PM
You will be visited by 3 ghosts
Reposted by The Fishpants
There's no way that's all Mariah Carey wants for Christmas
December 13, 2025 at 1:24 PM
There's no way that's all Mariah Carey wants for Christmas
Reposted by The Fishpants
15 days left to lose 2 stone, learn spanish, and master the trombone.
December 16, 2025 at 8:36 AM
15 days left to lose 2 stone, learn spanish, and master the trombone.
Reposted by The Fishpants
I hate Greek mythology, it's always been my achilles elbow
December 15, 2025 at 11:45 AM
I hate Greek mythology, it's always been my achilles elbow