tossed salads & scrambledmegs 🍳
@scrambledmegs.bsky.social
Trying my best, but notably as flawed as anyone with this much self-awareness can be.
I’ll show myself out...
(casually jumps off cliff)
(casually jumps off cliff)
February 17, 2026 at 2:01 AM
I’ll show myself out...
(casually jumps off cliff)
(casually jumps off cliff)
Excuse me.
Sorry
Apologies.
My bad.
Oops!
Sorry
Apologies.
My bad.
Oops!
February 16, 2026 at 8:49 PM
Excuse me.
Sorry
Apologies.
My bad.
Oops!
Sorry
Apologies.
My bad.
Oops!
Arlington at dawn. Wind through marble headstones. A tremor. The spirits of former Presidents rise, summoned by the sound of constitutional distress…
Among them are Washington, Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, FDR, Nixon, and JFK.
Among them are Washington, Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, FDR, Nixon, and JFK.
PRESIDENT’S DAY: An action-thriller where the ghosts of former U.S. Presidents team up to rid their country of an evil tyrant unfit for office. They try several ways to take out the current President throughout the day in zany Mr. Bean-like near misses. Will they succeed and save the nation?
PLEASE HAPPEN TODAY!
February 16, 2026 at 5:11 PM
Arlington at dawn. Wind through marble headstones. A tremor. The spirits of former Presidents rise, summoned by the sound of constitutional distress…
Among them are Washington, Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, FDR, Nixon, and JFK.
Among them are Washington, Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, FDR, Nixon, and JFK.
PRESIDENT’S DAY: An action-thriller where the ghosts of former U.S. Presidents team up to rid their country of an evil tyrant unfit for office. They try several ways to take out the current President throughout the day in zany Mr. Bean-like near misses. Will they succeed and save the nation?
PLEASE HAPPEN TODAY!
February 16, 2026 at 3:11 PM
PRESIDENT’S DAY: An action-thriller where the ghosts of former U.S. Presidents team up to rid their country of an evil tyrant unfit for office. They try several ways to take out the current President throughout the day in zany Mr. Bean-like near misses. Will they succeed and save the nation?
I’ve been invited to other people’s functions my entire life. I’m a fucking pleasure to have around.
February 16, 2026 at 7:23 AM
I’ve been invited to other people’s functions my entire life. I’m a fucking pleasure to have around.
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Who up counting they monte cristo
Who up killing they salesman?
who up greating their Gatsby
February 16, 2026 at 6:45 AM
Who up counting they monte cristo
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When I call a man a “son of a bitch,” the bitch I’m referring to is his father.
October 15, 2025 at 2:42 AM
When I call a man a “son of a bitch,” the bitch I’m referring to is his father.
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Just saw @ovaettr.gay say “shut the fuck up prompter” to an AI asshole and oh my god the absolute perfect new moniker for people who claim to be creatives that are making nothing.
February 16, 2026 at 12:31 AM
Just saw @ovaettr.gay say “shut the fuck up prompter” to an AI asshole and oh my god the absolute perfect new moniker for people who claim to be creatives that are making nothing.
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Every man should be forced to create a women’s dating profile and catfish other men just to learn how fucked up some other men can be.
February 16, 2026 at 2:32 AM
Every man should be forced to create a women’s dating profile and catfish other men just to learn how fucked up some other men can be.
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Actually, many of us are just Californians.
I think most (not all) of the "I will never vote for Gavin Newsom" people are communists who are mad that Americans don't like communism and want to destroy the Democratic party out of revenge. They don't care how many elections Republicans win or how many trans people die as long as the Dems fall.
February 16, 2026 at 1:13 AM
Actually, many of us are just Californians.
Reposted by tossed salads & scrambledmegs 🍳
chin up, your butt looks good and men fear you.
February 16, 2026 at 12:41 AM
chin up, your butt looks good and men fear you.
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You know what’s fun? Mutual fucking respect.
February 16, 2026 at 2:24 AM
You know what’s fun? Mutual fucking respect.
Who up Catchin’ they 22’s?
Who Up Greatin' They Gatsby?
Who up eyreing they Jane?
February 16, 2026 at 4:25 AM
Who up Catchin’ they 22’s?
A boarding house for cute middle-aged bi women with the taxidermied heads of misogynists mounted on the exterior facade as a warning to other men that their bullshit is not tolerated in our pansexual utopia. 🏡
February 16, 2026 at 3:11 AM
A boarding house for cute middle-aged bi women with the taxidermied heads of misogynists mounted on the exterior facade as a warning to other men that their bullshit is not tolerated in our pansexual utopia. 🏡
“More men should suffer consequences for their actions.”
Embroidered on an enormous banner,
held by the Statue of goddamn Liberty.
Embroidered on an enormous banner,
held by the Statue of goddamn Liberty.
February 16, 2026 at 3:04 AM
“More men should suffer consequences for their actions.”
Embroidered on an enormous banner,
held by the Statue of goddamn Liberty.
Embroidered on an enormous banner,
held by the Statue of goddamn Liberty.
I trained to be a manager at Chuck E. Cheese for 3 weeks last summer before finding a better job and the one time I “woke up” Chuck E. (Re: put on the suit) a 7 year old maliciously clocked me right between the eyes.
This is an incredibly accurate and comprehensive assessment.
This is an incredibly accurate and comprehensive assessment.
February 15, 2026 at 8:59 PM
I trained to be a manager at Chuck E. Cheese for 3 weeks last summer before finding a better job and the one time I “woke up” Chuck E. (Re: put on the suit) a 7 year old maliciously clocked me right between the eyes.
This is an incredibly accurate and comprehensive assessment.
This is an incredibly accurate and comprehensive assessment.
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my kindness hasn’t killed anyone so i’d like my money back pls.
February 15, 2026 at 6:21 PM
my kindness hasn’t killed anyone so i’d like my money back pls.
Tired of playing defense in society.
February 15, 2026 at 9:16 AM
Tired of playing defense in society.
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i am letting go of who i used to be
February 15, 2026 at 1:30 AM
i am letting go of who i used to be
Waiting out Valentine’s day by staying indoors alone like it’s a bad weather event.
February 14, 2026 at 7:20 PM
Waiting out Valentine’s day by staying indoors alone like it’s a bad weather event.
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![Why are none of them in JAAAAAAAAIIIIIIILLL
[pic of all the famous memes of people sobbing/screaming]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:lxm3v43kiuo4gdun45a4zivh/bafkreie7dkk7scyuij7fcviaoc7vgc37jfdbsscc354xdljkemd4bq46zi@jpeg)
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My opinion?
Doesn’t fucking matter honestly.
Doesn’t fucking matter honestly.
February 14, 2026 at 6:06 PM
My opinion?
Doesn’t fucking matter honestly.
Doesn’t fucking matter honestly.
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wow lot of heavy hitters
here. i said looking at the
cashed bowl i just loaded
here. i said looking at the
cashed bowl i just loaded
February 14, 2026 at 2:15 AM
wow lot of heavy hitters
here. i said looking at the
cashed bowl i just loaded
here. i said looking at the
cashed bowl i just loaded
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got voted out of sexual congress :(
February 14, 2026 at 3:23 AM
got voted out of sexual congress :(
Of course they want to disenfranchise women voters. How else will they keep doing what they were doing in those Epstein files?
February 14, 2026 at 7:11 AM
Of course they want to disenfranchise women voters. How else will they keep doing what they were doing in those Epstein files?