Sage Flowers
@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
Probably chilling 50 yrs ago or 50 yrs from now. When are we?
(he/him)
More: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:53hxlujdaqhfyc6g5dnatflj/feed/aaabyrmlb2cmw
(he/him)
More: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:53hxlujdaqhfyc6g5dnatflj/feed/aaabyrmlb2cmw
Reposted by Sage Flowers
my demands are clear and simple
January 30, 2026 at 6:08 PM
my demands are clear and simple
Reposted by Sage Flowers
Yeah but what if the Melania movie was called Seven Samurai instead? And then when you went to see it they just showed you Akira Kurosawa’s 1954 masterpiece Seven Samurai? I bet you liberals would *love* it then. Typical.
January 30, 2026 at 11:37 PM
Yeah but what if the Melania movie was called Seven Samurai instead? And then when you went to see it they just showed you Akira Kurosawa’s 1954 masterpiece Seven Samurai? I bet you liberals would *love* it then. Typical.
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Ranking every condiment by degrees of sensuality
January 28, 2026 at 1:44 PM
Ranking every condiment by degrees of sensuality
Reposted by Sage Flowers
i have just gotten off a productive call with sauron where i laid out our requests
- nazgul bodycams
- morgul knife must remain sheathed unless suspect is determined to be carrying the one ring
- shelob will be the new point of contact
- nazgul bodycams
- morgul knife must remain sheathed unless suspect is determined to be carrying the one ring
- shelob will be the new point of contact
January 27, 2026 at 3:15 PM
i have just gotten off a productive call with sauron where i laid out our requests
- nazgul bodycams
- morgul knife must remain sheathed unless suspect is determined to be carrying the one ring
- shelob will be the new point of contact
- nazgul bodycams
- morgul knife must remain sheathed unless suspect is determined to be carrying the one ring
- shelob will be the new point of contact
Reposted by Sage Flowers
i know my account hasn’t been much fun lately but in my defense *points at every single fucking thing*
January 27, 2026 at 1:45 PM
i know my account hasn’t been much fun lately but in my defense *points at every single fucking thing*
explaining to my cat that she is not a halfling and she doesn't get second breakfast
January 27, 2026 at 5:44 AM
explaining to my cat that she is not a halfling and she doesn't get second breakfast
18 year old me would be fatally upset to find out that i didn't say anything about how the president's goons executed a protester, so i would just like to say it's totally fucked up that the president's goons executed a protester and that life should not be moving on as if everything is normal.
January 27, 2026 at 5:43 AM
18 year old me would be fatally upset to find out that i didn't say anything about how the president's goons executed a protester, so i would just like to say it's totally fucked up that the president's goons executed a protester and that life should not be moving on as if everything is normal.
Reposted by Sage Flowers
My family crest includes the sangria pitchers that leak terribly every single year that we refuse to replace
December 25, 2025 at 6:27 PM
My family crest includes the sangria pitchers that leak terribly every single year that we refuse to replace
Reposted by Sage Flowers
In the spirit of giving, I’m offering ass kickings to anyone who’d like one.
December 25, 2025 at 2:21 PM
In the spirit of giving, I’m offering ass kickings to anyone who’d like one.
Reposted by Sage Flowers
I’m not wrapping gifts, I’m creating abstract art out of panic and shiny paper.
December 24, 2025 at 2:53 PM
I’m not wrapping gifts, I’m creating abstract art out of panic and shiny paper.
please no one tell the little 8lb 10oz baby jesus that i'm eating deviled eggs today
December 25, 2025 at 6:28 PM
please no one tell the little 8lb 10oz baby jesus that i'm eating deviled eggs today
i left out cookies and milk for the amazon driver but they said all they want is to unionize
December 25, 2025 at 3:56 PM
i left out cookies and milk for the amazon driver but they said all they want is to unionize
dune is a christmas movie
December 23, 2025 at 8:55 PM
dune is a christmas movie
Reposted by Sage Flowers
At this festive time of year I'd like to remind everyone to praise Odin.
December 23, 2025 at 6:43 PM
At this festive time of year I'd like to remind everyone to praise Odin.
Reposted by Sage Flowers
My heart is breaking for my students
They already have to battle
housing insecurity,
food insecurity,
mental & physical health insecurity,
and now one of the only things they can count on,
SNAP Benefits,
won’t be accessible to them.
Kids shouldn’t go to bed hungry
This country is a disgrace
They already have to battle
housing insecurity,
food insecurity,
mental & physical health insecurity,
and now one of the only things they can count on,
SNAP Benefits,
won’t be accessible to them.
Kids shouldn’t go to bed hungry
This country is a disgrace
October 28, 2025 at 1:44 AM
My heart is breaking for my students
They already have to battle
housing insecurity,
food insecurity,
mental & physical health insecurity,
and now one of the only things they can count on,
SNAP Benefits,
won’t be accessible to them.
Kids shouldn’t go to bed hungry
This country is a disgrace
They already have to battle
housing insecurity,
food insecurity,
mental & physical health insecurity,
and now one of the only things they can count on,
SNAP Benefits,
won’t be accessible to them.
Kids shouldn’t go to bed hungry
This country is a disgrace
Reposted by Sage Flowers
A friend asked people to rate the gingerbread bites and peppermint bark he made. The consensus is his bark is worse than his bites.
December 23, 2025 at 4:10 PM
A friend asked people to rate the gingerbread bites and peppermint bark he made. The consensus is his bark is worse than his bites.
Reposted by Sage Flowers
Convinced that there is a small group on here that is in fact one person talking to himself.
December 23, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Convinced that there is a small group on here that is in fact one person talking to himself.
Reposted by Sage Flowers
I can write better than this but I don't want to be the one the aliens abduct and force to punch up their ultimatums.
December 23, 2025 at 6:10 PM
I can write better than this but I don't want to be the one the aliens abduct and force to punch up their ultimatums.
Reposted by Sage Flowers
As a tall person I cannot offer to reach something on a high shelf for a stranger, yet if they ask me I must oblige. This is the law of the giants
July 10, 2023 at 4:09 PM
As a tall person I cannot offer to reach something on a high shelf for a stranger, yet if they ask me I must oblige. This is the law of the giants
Reposted by Sage Flowers
Every day I just barely resist the urge to pick up my cat and pretend to play her like a set of bagpipes. She will never understand these sacrifices I make for her.
December 23, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Every day I just barely resist the urge to pick up my cat and pretend to play her like a set of bagpipes. She will never understand these sacrifices I make for her.
Reposted by Sage Flowers
Just closed out a meeting by reminding people that I am off on friday and if they need anything to "pretend that I am deceased"
December 23, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Just closed out a meeting by reminding people that I am off on friday and if they need anything to "pretend that I am deceased"
Reposted by Sage Flowers
How beautiful it is to observe familiar landscapes. I love them, I cherish them.🫠🌳🌿
December 7, 2025 at 8:36 AM
How beautiful it is to observe familiar landscapes. I love them, I cherish them.🫠🌳🌿