Sage Flowers
@onebeanburrito.bsky.social
Probably chilling 50 yrs ago or 50 yrs from now. When are we?
(he/him)
More: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:53hxlujdaqhfyc6g5dnatflj/feed/aaabyrmlb2cmw
(he/him)
More: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:53hxlujdaqhfyc6g5dnatflj/feed/aaabyrmlb2cmw
grapes and apples are lunch fruit. strawberries and bananas are breakfast fruit. i will not be taking any questions at this time.
September 21, 2025 at 12:34 PM
grapes and apples are lunch fruit. strawberries and bananas are breakfast fruit. i will not be taking any questions at this time.
Reposted by Sage Flowers
how is there an eyelash under my clear phone case i hardly ever rub my eyeballs on my shiny germ brick
September 16, 2025 at 3:49 AM
how is there an eyelash under my clear phone case i hardly ever rub my eyeballs on my shiny germ brick
Reposted by Sage Flowers
well, they’ve done it. they’ve forced us to all dress up as a sexy Jimmy Kimmel for Halloween in protest
September 18, 2025 at 2:23 AM
well, they’ve done it. they’ve forced us to all dress up as a sexy Jimmy Kimmel for Halloween in protest
Reposted by Sage Flowers
I'm not interested in going to hell, free handbasket or not.
September 18, 2025 at 12:43 PM
I'm not interested in going to hell, free handbasket or not.
Reposted by Sage Flowers
I’m with me 100 percent.
September 17, 2025 at 5:54 PM
I’m with me 100 percent.
Reposted by Sage Flowers
The last time that something knew it was gonna be the last time was a last time all tense with anticipation. How's about this last time we tell it that it can finally get a kitten named If I Had Only Known
September 18, 2025 at 4:46 AM
The last time that something knew it was gonna be the last time was a last time all tense with anticipation. How's about this last time we tell it that it can finally get a kitten named If I Had Only Known
Reposted by Sage Flowers
For mental health reasons, the HHS recommends that your media diet should be 10% news and 90% shitposts.
September 18, 2025 at 1:38 AM
For mental health reasons, the HHS recommends that your media diet should be 10% news and 90% shitposts.
Reposted by Sage Flowers
Just hanging out, spreading vitriol.
September 17, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Just hanging out, spreading vitriol.
Reposted by Sage Flowers
I'd injured my typing finger, but I'm back now
September 16, 2025 at 3:35 AM
I'd injured my typing finger, but I'm back now
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It's really creepy when you find lipstick on one of your glasses, but nobody in your family has lips.
June 2, 2025 at 6:41 AM
It's really creepy when you find lipstick on one of your glasses, but nobody in your family has lips.
Reposted by Sage Flowers
300 million people were killed by laughing at my skeets last year
September 15, 2025 at 11:46 AM
300 million people were killed by laughing at my skeets last year
Reposted by Sage Flowers
I used to drink Evererclear in a forest with random strangers, and now I won’t drink caffeine after 4 pm
September 15, 2025 at 3:21 AM
I used to drink Evererclear in a forest with random strangers, and now I won’t drink caffeine after 4 pm
Reposted by Sage Flowers
Are you supposed to fly your freak flag all year long or, pack and store it for winter?
September 14, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Are you supposed to fly your freak flag all year long or, pack and store it for winter?
Reposted by Sage Flowers
Don't worry, you'll find the lost scissors when you'll be searching for your glasses
September 15, 2025 at 7:29 AM
Don't worry, you'll find the lost scissors when you'll be searching for your glasses
Reposted by Sage Flowers
BREAKING: If You Think 88% of America’s Population Died Last Year From Drugs, You Just Might Be on Drugs
September 15, 2025 at 5:25 AM
BREAKING: If You Think 88% of America’s Population Died Last Year From Drugs, You Just Might Be on Drugs
Reposted by Sage Flowers
When you get sick, it’s because you were vaccinated. When an antivaxxer gets sick, it’s part of a global conspiracy against people who say really dumb shit online.
September 15, 2025 at 5:08 AM
When you get sick, it’s because you were vaccinated. When an antivaxxer gets sick, it’s part of a global conspiracy against people who say really dumb shit online.
Reposted by Sage Flowers
There is no place for democracy in our violence
September 10, 2025 at 9:17 PM
There is no place for democracy in our violence
Reposted by Sage Flowers
my eyebrows wiggled suggestively after a dirty joke in the 90s and havent stopped since
September 15, 2025 at 3:28 AM
my eyebrows wiggled suggestively after a dirty joke in the 90s and havent stopped since
Reposted by Sage Flowers
I just want to look pretty and ignore my responsibilities.
September 14, 2025 at 7:33 PM
I just want to look pretty and ignore my responsibilities.
Reposted by Sage Flowers
some of you have never heard of the spice and it flows
September 15, 2025 at 2:41 AM
some of you have never heard of the spice and it flows
Reposted by Sage Flowers
I'm not leaving my house without Hulk Hands ever again.
September 15, 2025 at 12:13 PM
I'm not leaving my house without Hulk Hands ever again.
Reposted by Sage Flowers
In the insect world, the animal known to be most secretive is the cagey bee
...and send
...and send
September 15, 2025 at 12:08 PM
In the insect world, the animal known to be most secretive is the cagey bee
...and send
...and send
Reposted by Sage Flowers
"Youth is wasted on the young." Yeah, unless they go pro.
September 14, 2025 at 7:32 PM
"Youth is wasted on the young." Yeah, unless they go pro.
Reposted by Sage Flowers
I know this may come as a big shock but I've never put a second thought into any of my posts.
September 14, 2025 at 12:58 PM
I know this may come as a big shock but I've never put a second thought into any of my posts.