Sarah Armento
@nosarahonlyzuul.bsky.social
journalist/writer/horror enthusiast. guitar player. robot from 1984. portland.
Short story “A Special Report” up now at Andromeda Magazine: https://andromedamagazine.com/2024/11/01/a-special-report/
Short story “A Special Report” up now at Andromeda Magazine: https://andromedamagazine.com/2024/11/01/a-special-report/
Pinned
Reposted by Sarah Armento
Reposted by Sarah Armento
Reposted by Sarah Armento
Doctors say that vaccines protect children from dangerous diseases. A nepo baby who barbecues dogs and snorts cocaine off toilet seats says that vaccines make children vulnerable to 5G radiation. For busy parents, it can be hard to know who to trust.
February 14, 2026 at 3:41 AM
Doctors say that vaccines protect children from dangerous diseases. A nepo baby who barbecues dogs and snorts cocaine off toilet seats says that vaccines make children vulnerable to 5G radiation. For busy parents, it can be hard to know who to trust.
YES YES YES YES YES
Yup, we're working on a new Castlevania game.
Thanks to KONAMI, & with Motion Twin's friendly advice, the franchise will be going back to its roots with what we hope to be the best whip traversal & combat ever seen in a 2D action-adventure game! Noooo pressure...
www.konami.com/games/castle...
Thanks to KONAMI, & with Motion Twin's friendly advice, the franchise will be going back to its roots with what we hope to be the best whip traversal & combat ever seen in a 2D action-adventure game! Noooo pressure...
www.konami.com/games/castle...
February 13, 2026 at 12:37 AM
YES YES YES YES YES
TIME FOR GO TO BED
Does anyone else have an MST3K line they use regularly, even if it makes no sense out of context?
Because I have both "That'll keep your panfish down for a while." and "Come come, boys, we must confound Jerry at every turn!" from MST3K the movie alone.
Because I have both "That'll keep your panfish down for a while." and "Come come, boys, we must confound Jerry at every turn!" from MST3K the movie alone.
February 13, 2026 at 12:25 AM
TIME FOR GO TO BED
Reposted by Sarah Armento
Reposted by Sarah Armento
Reposted by Sarah Armento
i am trying not to joke about the Epstein stuff because it's so horrible but there's also this ridiculous element where it's like... discovering Dracula is real, he's taken over human society at the highest levels, he's involved in tons of evil and also he's a huge dipshit
February 5, 2026 at 3:43 AM
i am trying not to joke about the Epstein stuff because it's so horrible but there's also this ridiculous element where it's like... discovering Dracula is real, he's taken over human society at the highest levels, he's involved in tons of evil and also he's a huge dipshit
Reposted by Sarah Armento
it’s genuinely reassuring to me that this is the most miserable and paranoid person in the entire world
February 5, 2026 at 1:16 AM
it’s genuinely reassuring to me that this is the most miserable and paranoid person in the entire world
There is a light on upstairs that I am certain I did not switch on myself. So either the house is haunted or the cats have finally figured out how to turn on the lights.
February 5, 2026 at 8:33 AM
There is a light on upstairs that I am certain I did not switch on myself. So either the house is haunted or the cats have finally figured out how to turn on the lights.
Gotta go back to work tomorrow
February 3, 2026 at 8:49 AM
Gotta go back to work tomorrow
I took a four day weekend to clean and redecorate my place a little. It didn’t fix me but I do feel about 60% less awful than I did at the end of last week.
February 3, 2026 at 2:59 AM
I took a four day weekend to clean and redecorate my place a little. It didn’t fix me but I do feel about 60% less awful than I did at the end of last week.
The cat fur on the stairs has overwhelmed my vacuum cleaner. I am at an impasse.
February 3, 2026 at 2:09 AM
The cat fur on the stairs has overwhelmed my vacuum cleaner. I am at an impasse.
New chair is very popular.
February 2, 2026 at 7:24 AM
New chair is very popular.
LOOK WHAT THE TUXEDO BASTARD DID TO GEORGE. SEE HOW HE BUTCHERED MY BOY.
February 2, 2026 at 7:21 AM
LOOK WHAT THE TUXEDO BASTARD DID TO GEORGE. SEE HOW HE BUTCHERED MY BOY.
Reposted by Sarah Armento
the Epstein files make it very clear why the MeToo backlash was so extreme and why so much of elite society preferred Donald Trump ruling us like a king to the barest hint of accountability
February 1, 2026 at 9:27 PM
the Epstein files make it very clear why the MeToo backlash was so extreme and why so much of elite society preferred Donald Trump ruling us like a king to the barest hint of accountability
The six-week period between New Year’s and Valentines Day is truly the asshole of the year
February 1, 2026 at 2:56 PM
The six-week period between New Year’s and Valentines Day is truly the asshole of the year
Reposted by Sarah Armento
look you actually can't tell how brilliant someone is by how they communicate via shorthand. you should judge someone's intelligence holistically, and when we do that for Jeffrey Epstein we can honestly say the man was pretty stupid
Noam Chomsky and Stephen Pinker say Epstein was an intellectual force with a mind like steel trap and then his e-mails read like the ending of Flowers for Algernon.
January 30, 2026 at 11:38 PM
look you actually can't tell how brilliant someone is by how they communicate via shorthand. you should judge someone's intelligence holistically, and when we do that for Jeffrey Epstein we can honestly say the man was pretty stupid
Reposted by Sarah Armento
there are no mastermind villains. every single one of them is sending 4th grade level emails to World's Most Famous Sex Criminal from their work account
January 31, 2026 at 2:11 AM
there are no mastermind villains. every single one of them is sending 4th grade level emails to World's Most Famous Sex Criminal from their work account
Reposted by Sarah Armento
Learning that I have won more Emmys than Bill Maher (1)
January 31, 2026 at 1:14 AM
Learning that I have won more Emmys than Bill Maher (1)
Going to therapy in a bit. Looking forward to it in the same way I look forward to vomiting when I’m too nauseous to stand up.
January 30, 2026 at 8:34 PM
Going to therapy in a bit. Looking forward to it in the same way I look forward to vomiting when I’m too nauseous to stand up.
Reposted by Sarah Armento
I don't know why they need to make short AI films about the American Revolution when the perfect one was created 18 years ago www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbRo...
George Washington
YouTube video by unvmebad86
www.youtube.com
January 29, 2026 at 7:47 PM
I don't know why they need to make short AI films about the American Revolution when the perfect one was created 18 years ago www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbRo...
Reposted by Sarah Armento
I think about this post at least once a week
the speed at which these guys have broken everything has given a lot of folks who should know better the impression that they are an unstoppable force and the only option is to negotiate the terms of surrender
just because the clown car goes very fast does not mean it isn’t full of clowns
just because the clown car goes very fast does not mean it isn’t full of clowns
Whatever the immediate fallout of the scandal, what is going to stick around is the impression it gives, of hapless idiots doing ridiculous things. And I think that seriously reduces the appeal of capitulating to these jokers.
January 30, 2026 at 3:45 AM
I think about this post at least once a week
Reposted by Sarah Armento
my entire adult life, dem leadership class snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, endlessly; getting mugged then running after the bully saying "hey you missed this 5 dollar bill."
I'd call them clowns but that would be insulting to clowns. Jeebus I'm sick of their weak, cowardly uselessness.
I'd call them clowns but that would be insulting to clowns. Jeebus I'm sick of their weak, cowardly uselessness.
January 30, 2026 at 5:32 AM
my entire adult life, dem leadership class snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, endlessly; getting mugged then running after the bully saying "hey you missed this 5 dollar bill."
I'd call them clowns but that would be insulting to clowns. Jeebus I'm sick of their weak, cowardly uselessness.
I'd call them clowns but that would be insulting to clowns. Jeebus I'm sick of their weak, cowardly uselessness.
I introduced a friend to the term "cuck chair" so I think I can call it a day.
January 29, 2026 at 2:11 AM
I introduced a friend to the term "cuck chair" so I think I can call it a day.