Martti Nelson, Lady Author
@martti.bsky.social
Always and Forever with Her | I write funny books for misbehaving women: ATTACK OF THE ROM-COM & LYSSA STRATA + @mcsweeneys @BelladonnaComedy @slackjaw | She/Hers | marttinelson.com
Pinned
Introducing CaptainAI, Now with RarelyDieTM Update v7.3
“I wish I was as pale as Elon Musk, who invented gasoline.”
maladymartti.medium.com
I wrote a thing! ✈️ Introducing CaptainAI, Now with RarelyDieTM Update v7.3
Elon is supppper helping me with my fear of flying hahahahauuuhggghhhhh. #writersofbluesky #satire #humor #authorsofbluesky #booktok
maladymartti.medium.com/introducing-...
Elon is supppper helping me with my fear of flying hahahahauuuhggghhhhh. #writersofbluesky #satire #humor #authorsofbluesky #booktok
maladymartti.medium.com/introducing-...
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
seems bad
INBOX: Rep. Thomas Massie, who has enraged Trump for his insistence on blocking tariffs and releasing the Epstein files according to the law, just issued what is widely known among Chinese dissidents as "a declaration of no suicidal intent" (不自殺聲明), a sign of extreme distress.
February 14, 2026 at 1:58 AM
seems bad
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
I don’t know what this is called but I’m pretty sure it’s the cure for male loneliness
February 14, 2026 at 12:19 AM
I don’t know what this is called but I’m pretty sure it’s the cure for male loneliness
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
end qualified immunity and make cops carry personal liability insurance
"'She is dead,'" Officer Auderer told Officer Solan, before bursting out laughing.
"'No, it’s a regular person,' Officer Auderer said, adding: 'Yeah, just write a check — $11,000. She was 26, anyway. She had limited value.'"
"'No, it’s a regular person,' Officer Auderer said, adding: 'Yeah, just write a check — $11,000. She was 26, anyway. She had limited value.'"
Seattle to Pay $29 Million to Family of Woman Fatally Struck by Police S.U.V.
www.nytimes.com
February 13, 2026 at 3:00 PM
end qualified immunity and make cops carry personal liability insurance
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
"Racist people are firing and laying off Black women at three times the rate of other women."
😬Yikes! It sounds bad when you say it like that!
"Black women are losing jobs at 3 times the rate."
Much better! Makes it sound like the Black women just need to be more careful or better at their jobs!
😬Yikes! It sounds bad when you say it like that!
"Black women are losing jobs at 3 times the rate."
Much better! Makes it sound like the Black women just need to be more careful or better at their jobs!
Black Women Are Losing Jobs At Three Times The Rate Of Other Women | Essence
New labor data shows Black women accounted for a disproportionate share of job losses across 2025, especially in federal, education, and care-sector roles.
www.essence.com
February 13, 2026 at 12:01 PM
"Racist people are firing and laying off Black women at three times the rate of other women."
😬Yikes! It sounds bad when you say it like that!
"Black women are losing jobs at 3 times the rate."
Much better! Makes it sound like the Black women just need to be more careful or better at their jobs!
😬Yikes! It sounds bad when you say it like that!
"Black women are losing jobs at 3 times the rate."
Much better! Makes it sound like the Black women just need to be more careful or better at their jobs!
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
A timely valentine from Dr Grammar: pronouns have histories.
February 13, 2026 at 3:34 PM
A timely valentine from Dr Grammar: pronouns have histories.
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
Elon Musk genuinely has to be regarded as one of history’s pre-eminent mass murderers
HORRIFYING -
Dismantling USAID & cancelling >80% of aid caused ~750,000 deaths by mid-2025
🧸Most were children
⌛️ Many died within the first year
😰 Preventable deaths were mainly from:
- HIV, TB, malaria
- Maternal & fetal deaths
- Malnutrition
news.westernu.ca/2026/01/u-s-...
Dismantling USAID & cancelling >80% of aid caused ~750,000 deaths by mid-2025
🧸Most were children
⌛️ Many died within the first year
😰 Preventable deaths were mainly from:
- HIV, TB, malaria
- Maternal & fetal deaths
- Malnutrition
news.westernu.ca/2026/01/u-s-...
Expert insight: U.S. withdrawal from WHO could affect global health - Western News
History professor Mitchell L. Hammond explains how the U.S. withdrawal from the World Health Organization could affect global health and disease threats.
news.westernu.ca
February 13, 2026 at 12:31 AM
Elon Musk genuinely has to be regarded as one of history’s pre-eminent mass murderers
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
Pam Bondi Thought That Went Pretty Well
February 12, 2026 at 6:56 PM
Pam Bondi Thought That Went Pretty Well
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
yep, they're still at it in LA and Portland too
the media is gonna be like "time for a new narrative" and it's so important to keep talking about how none of the cities they invaded have become more safe since the spotlight shifted away from them
the media is gonna be like "time for a new narrative" and it's so important to keep talking about how none of the cities they invaded have become more safe since the spotlight shifted away from them
ICE “left” Chicago in November, but they’ve disappeared three people from my community in two days this week.
Don’t believe the hype about them, leaving Minnesota, either.
Don’t believe the hype about them, leaving Minnesota, either.
February 12, 2026 at 7:17 PM
yep, they're still at it in LA and Portland too
the media is gonna be like "time for a new narrative" and it's so important to keep talking about how none of the cities they invaded have become more safe since the spotlight shifted away from them
the media is gonna be like "time for a new narrative" and it's so important to keep talking about how none of the cities they invaded have become more safe since the spotlight shifted away from them
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
"Revokes scientific finding"
February 12, 2026 at 7:49 PM
"Revokes scientific finding"
OMG my husband is making burgers and soon I get a burger cooked and served by a funny, sexy man—and a better burger than I would have made.
Feminism and respect are fucking delicious.
Feminism and respect are fucking delicious.
February 12, 2026 at 4:34 AM
OMG my husband is making burgers and soon I get a burger cooked and served by a funny, sexy man—and a better burger than I would have made.
Feminism and respect are fucking delicious.
Feminism and respect are fucking delicious.
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
a reminder that it's free to be kind
February 12, 2026 at 12:44 AM
a reminder that it's free to be kind
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
So unless Pam Bondi asked for white blonde with streaks of piss yellow, her colorist hates her guts
February 12, 2026 at 2:02 AM
So unless Pam Bondi asked for white blonde with streaks of piss yellow, her colorist hates her guts
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
Babe, wake up, new sarcastic but entirely worthwhile internet abbreviation just dropped
Over on threads someone just use ai;dr and we all need to adopt that right quick
February 11, 2026 at 11:16 PM
Babe, wake up, new sarcastic but entirely worthwhile internet abbreviation just dropped
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
Please honor James’ memory by getting screened for colorectal cancer. Make the call today if you are 45 or have a family history. Rates are surging among young people. Catching it early is the best way to survive it.
www.cancer.org/cancer/types...
www.cancer.org/cancer/types...
February 11, 2026 at 8:58 PM
Please honor James’ memory by getting screened for colorectal cancer. Make the call today if you are 45 or have a family history. Rates are surging among young people. Catching it early is the best way to survive it.
www.cancer.org/cancer/types...
www.cancer.org/cancer/types...
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
James Van Der Beek spent the last year of his life fundraising for cancer treatment.
He auctioned off Dawson’s Creek memorabilia.
Costars launched Cameos to raise money for his care.
A serious diagnosis in the US can financially destroy you.
Universal healthcare saves lives.
He auctioned off Dawson’s Creek memorabilia.
Costars launched Cameos to raise money for his care.
A serious diagnosis in the US can financially destroy you.
Universal healthcare saves lives.
James Van Der Beek Auctions Dawson's Creek, Varsity Blues Memorabilia (Exclusive)
James Van Der Beek is partnering with Propstore to auction memorabilia from "Dawson's Creek" and "Varisty Blues" as he faces the mounting costs of battling cancer.
people.com
February 11, 2026 at 9:11 PM
James Van Der Beek spent the last year of his life fundraising for cancer treatment.
He auctioned off Dawson’s Creek memorabilia.
Costars launched Cameos to raise money for his care.
A serious diagnosis in the US can financially destroy you.
Universal healthcare saves lives.
He auctioned off Dawson’s Creek memorabilia.
Costars launched Cameos to raise money for his care.
A serious diagnosis in the US can financially destroy you.
Universal healthcare saves lives.
SNORT
SHE REMOVED THEIR WEDDING PHOTO LMAOOOOOO
Oh she HATED his guts
Oh she HATED his guts
February 11, 2026 at 9:46 PM
SNORT
I’m so sad. Don’t Trust the B is genius comedy, and I even have a cameo he recorded as a gift from my friend. Very kind words and so sincere. Damn. The Lord taking the wrong people!
James Van Der Beek, the actor best known for playing the lead in hit 90s teen drama Dawson’s Creek, has died.
February 11, 2026 at 9:36 PM
I’m so sad. Don’t Trust the B is genius comedy, and I even have a cameo he recorded as a gift from my friend. Very kind words and so sincere. Damn. The Lord taking the wrong people!
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
You can joke about Pam Bondi’s ridiculous unprofessionalism all you want, but I’m deeply shocked by it: She acts as if she fears absolutely no consequences, convinced that there will be no more political power transfers. — This should shake everyone to their core.
February 11, 2026 at 5:48 PM
You can joke about Pam Bondi’s ridiculous unprofessionalism all you want, but I’m deeply shocked by it: She acts as if she fears absolutely no consequences, convinced that there will be no more political power transfers. — This should shake everyone to their core.
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
These are called honor killings 👍
A MAGA freak in Texas murdered his own daughter in cold blood after they had an argument about Trump.
A grand jury in the Dallas area then *declined to indict him*, and he has not yet faced charges.
Seems like many Texans believe a man has the right to kill his own child for disobedience.
A grand jury in the Dallas area then *declined to indict him*, and he has not yet faced charges.
Seems like many Texans believe a man has the right to kill his own child for disobedience.
British Woman shot by dad in Texas after 'arguing about Donald Trump'
Lucy Harrison, 23, was alone in a bedroom at her father's home in Texas when she was shot dead.
www.bbc.com
February 11, 2026 at 4:50 PM
These are called honor killings 👍
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
i think about this constantly. tradwife culture absolutely is a kink and no one will acknowledge that it's basically a 24/7 BDSM arrangement but done in an extremely unsafe and dangerous way.
kinksters who can't/won't acknowledge they're participating in kink are a huge social problem right now, imo. ai gooners, trad influencers and breeding-obsessed politicians are all (among other things) perverts who insist they hate perverts.
February 11, 2026 at 4:59 PM
i think about this constantly. tradwife culture absolutely is a kink and no one will acknowledge that it's basically a 24/7 BDSM arrangement but done in an extremely unsafe and dangerous way.
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
Likely-historic photo by NBC News of all the Epstein victims asked to raise their hands if they've not yet been asked to meet with the DOJ as Bondi testifies in foreground
February 11, 2026 at 5:15 PM
Likely-historic photo by NBC News of all the Epstein victims asked to raise their hands if they've not yet been asked to meet with the DOJ as Bondi testifies in foreground
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
Incredibly honored to welcome the Buddhist monks completing their Walk for Peace in Washington, D.C. this morning.
Their courage and compassion are a powerful reminder of what leadership should look like. May their journey challenge Congress to choose peace, dignity, and unity.
Their courage and compassion are a powerful reminder of what leadership should look like. May their journey challenge Congress to choose peace, dignity, and unity.
February 11, 2026 at 4:41 PM
Incredibly honored to welcome the Buddhist monks completing their Walk for Peace in Washington, D.C. this morning.
Their courage and compassion are a powerful reminder of what leadership should look like. May their journey challenge Congress to choose peace, dignity, and unity.
Their courage and compassion are a powerful reminder of what leadership should look like. May their journey challenge Congress to choose peace, dignity, and unity.
Reposted by Martti Nelson, Lady Author
gold medal skippity paps
February 11, 2026 at 3:20 PM
gold medal skippity paps
Ah, I see the “stop eating avocado toast, youths!” discourse has changed to “stop eating, youths.” Are we winning now?
February 11, 2026 at 4:27 PM
Ah, I see the “stop eating avocado toast, youths!” discourse has changed to “stop eating, youths.” Are we winning now?