Reposted by huntigula
the o in “hole” is really just there as an example
December 5, 2024 at 8:33 PM
the o in “hole” is really just there as an example
Reposted by huntigula
Me *orders our food fluently in Italian to impress my date*
McDonalds drive-thru employee: what
McDonalds drive-thru employee: what
December 5, 2024 at 6:04 PM
Me *orders our food fluently in Italian to impress my date*
McDonalds drive-thru employee: what
McDonalds drive-thru employee: what
Reposted by huntigula
Ugh FINE I'll show up to work "sober" to lead the department of defense. YES without "sexually assaulting" everyone, christ anything else?
December 5, 2024 at 2:17 PM
Ugh FINE I'll show up to work "sober" to lead the department of defense. YES without "sexually assaulting" everyone, christ anything else?
Reposted by huntigula
your body, my wonderland
November 13, 2024 at 4:19 AM
your body, my wonderland
Reposted by huntigula
JUDGE: I order you to pay $10,000 - do you understand?
MARIO:
JUDGE: it’s a fine
MARIO [sadly]: no itsa not
MARIO:
JUDGE: it’s a fine
MARIO [sadly]: no itsa not
June 23, 2023 at 1:48 PM
JUDGE: I order you to pay $10,000 - do you understand?
MARIO:
JUDGE: it’s a fine
MARIO [sadly]: no itsa not
MARIO:
JUDGE: it’s a fine
MARIO [sadly]: no itsa not
Reposted by huntigula
origami man is very weak
but his power is in creasing
but his power is in creasing
November 23, 2024 at 12:20 AM
origami man is very weak
but his power is in creasing
but his power is in creasing
Reposted by huntigula
It feels great to be in my mid 30s and not having to pretend to be funny anymore
November 16, 2024 at 9:16 PM
It feels great to be in my mid 30s and not having to pretend to be funny anymore
Reposted by huntigula
If a huge beast told me not to go in one hallway of his extremely haunted house I’d be like “that sounds right” and never go there. But no one wants to sing about that. No candles want to sing about common sense.
November 16, 2024 at 6:16 PM
If a huge beast told me not to go in one hallway of his extremely haunted house I’d be like “that sounds right” and never go there. But no one wants to sing about that. No candles want to sing about common sense.
Reposted by huntigula
Do not ever tell me about "buzz" words I don't need to learn bee language I have nothing to say to a bee
November 13, 2024 at 12:43 AM
Do not ever tell me about "buzz" words I don't need to learn bee language I have nothing to say to a bee
your body, my wonderland
November 13, 2024 at 4:19 AM
your body, my wonderland
“make bluesky what twitter used to be” just doesn’t really flow but, fuck it. let’s do this.
November 12, 2024 at 1:12 AM
“make bluesky what twitter used to be” just doesn’t really flow but, fuck it. let’s do this.
Reposted by huntigula
I want to promise you all that no matter how big this site gets, I will NEVER sell out to the makers of Windex, the world’s leading brand of glass and hard-surface cleaners, known and trusted for over 50 years
November 11, 2024 at 9:38 PM
I want to promise you all that no matter how big this site gets, I will NEVER sell out to the makers of Windex, the world’s leading brand of glass and hard-surface cleaners, known and trusted for over 50 years
meatloaf? sure
beefloaf? absolutely not
beefloaf? absolutely not
August 13, 2024 at 4:45 AM
meatloaf? sure
beefloaf? absolutely not
beefloaf? absolutely not
Reposted by huntigula
My doctor won't go away. I know what you're thinking but he has been eating small pieces of apple over many decades to build up an immunity.
December 27, 2023 at 2:13 PM
My doctor won't go away. I know what you're thinking but he has been eating small pieces of apple over many decades to build up an immunity.
something old
something new
something borrowed
mountain dew
something new
something borrowed
mountain dew
December 27, 2023 at 4:11 AM
something old
something new
something borrowed
mountain dew
something new
something borrowed
mountain dew
Reposted by huntigula
In retrospect, switching my grandma's Life Alert pendant for her garage door opener was not as funny as I had hoped. Miss you Nana.
December 15, 2023 at 3:12 AM
In retrospect, switching my grandma's Life Alert pendant for her garage door opener was not as funny as I had hoped. Miss you Nana.
Reposted by huntigula
basketball’s all like gimme that pumpkin i need it and tennis is all like fuck this lemon you take it
August 28, 2023 at 12:59 AM
basketball’s all like gimme that pumpkin i need it and tennis is all like fuck this lemon you take it
Reposted by huntigula
Baby bird *finishes hatching* Sorry… am I in a bowl of sticks? Am I in a fucking bowl of sticks a thousand feet off the ground right now, yes or no
August 26, 2023 at 10:10 PM
Baby bird *finishes hatching* Sorry… am I in a bowl of sticks? Am I in a fucking bowl of sticks a thousand feet off the ground right now, yes or no
Reposted by huntigula
On an afternoon walk, a handsome stranger gives you a note. It says "By the time you read this, I will already be petting your dog." You look down. It's true.
August 25, 2023 at 6:53 PM
On an afternoon walk, a handsome stranger gives you a note. It says "By the time you read this, I will already be petting your dog." You look down. It's true.
Reposted by huntigula
Charles Darwin seeing a great big turtle that’s slightly different to another great big turtle: Ah fuck. God doesn’t exist
August 6, 2023 at 6:44 AM
Charles Darwin seeing a great big turtle that’s slightly different to another great big turtle: Ah fuck. God doesn’t exist
Reposted by huntigula
realistic people: period products should be free for students
men in their 50s: if girls get free tampons, my 21 year old son Brandon shouldn't have to pay for nunchuck lessons
men in their 50s: if girls get free tampons, my 21 year old son Brandon shouldn't have to pay for nunchuck lessons
August 6, 2023 at 7:04 AM
realistic people: period products should be free for students
men in their 50s: if girls get free tampons, my 21 year old son Brandon shouldn't have to pay for nunchuck lessons
men in their 50s: if girls get free tampons, my 21 year old son Brandon shouldn't have to pay for nunchuck lessons
FOCUS GROUP: our only issue is the name…
GUY WHO NAMED GRAPE NUTS: [sets 2 grape nuts in front of a grape where its balls would be] but look tho
GUY WHO NAMED GRAPE NUTS: [sets 2 grape nuts in front of a grape where its balls would be] but look tho
July 24, 2023 at 1:11 AM
FOCUS GROUP: our only issue is the name…
GUY WHO NAMED GRAPE NUTS: [sets 2 grape nuts in front of a grape where its balls would be] but look tho
GUY WHO NAMED GRAPE NUTS: [sets 2 grape nuts in front of a grape where its balls would be] but look tho
“blood sugar sex magik” is my favorite album about erotic magicians with diabetes
July 12, 2023 at 5:22 PM
“blood sugar sex magik” is my favorite album about erotic magicians with diabetes
Reposted by huntigula
[first day at Domino's]
Manager: oh and one more thing: don't fuck the pizzas
Me: haha
Asst Manager: seriously, don't fuck them
Cook: dont fuck the pizzas dude
Me: I'm n-
Customer: that guy's not gonna fuck my pizza is he?
Manager: not if he wants to keep his job he wont.
Manager: oh and one more thing: don't fuck the pizzas
Me: haha
Asst Manager: seriously, don't fuck them
Cook: dont fuck the pizzas dude
Me: I'm n-
Customer: that guy's not gonna fuck my pizza is he?
Manager: not if he wants to keep his job he wont.
July 4, 2023 at 5:20 AM
[first day at Domino's]
Manager: oh and one more thing: don't fuck the pizzas
Me: haha
Asst Manager: seriously, don't fuck them
Cook: dont fuck the pizzas dude
Me: I'm n-
Customer: that guy's not gonna fuck my pizza is he?
Manager: not if he wants to keep his job he wont.
Manager: oh and one more thing: don't fuck the pizzas
Me: haha
Asst Manager: seriously, don't fuck them
Cook: dont fuck the pizzas dude
Me: I'm n-
Customer: that guy's not gonna fuck my pizza is he?
Manager: not if he wants to keep his job he wont.
so who’s the guy who makes the “skip intro” button disappear on streaming sites? don’t worry it’s fine I just wanna talk to him
July 3, 2023 at 4:00 AM
so who’s the guy who makes the “skip intro” button disappear on streaming sites? don’t worry it’s fine I just wanna talk to him