mark magark
@markedly.bsky.social
you know, from that one place
I DO hear those sleigh bells jingaling! Don’t hear any ring ting tingling, though… oh there they go
December 25, 2025 at 4:36 PM
I DO hear those sleigh bells jingaling! Don’t hear any ring ting tingling, though… oh there they go
I regret to inform you that my parents have somehow bought a new TiVo
December 25, 2025 at 3:40 PM
I regret to inform you that my parents have somehow bought a new TiVo
“You like that clock? You can put a gun in it.” - My dad
December 24, 2025 at 1:27 AM
“You like that clock? You can put a gun in it.” - My dad
Reposted by mark magark
[beaver dad picking out a Christmas tree with the Home Depot clerk] so which one would you say is the most delicious
December 17, 2024 at 1:56 PM
[beaver dad picking out a Christmas tree with the Home Depot clerk] so which one would you say is the most delicious
Girlfriend: hey is there any chance that you maybe [insert very specific thing that no one else on earth would ever notice or care about], you ass moron?
December 22, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Girlfriend: hey is there any chance that you maybe [insert very specific thing that no one else on earth would ever notice or care about], you ass moron?
Busted! My dad caught me looking at pics of other father figures on my phone again
December 21, 2025 at 8:34 PM
Busted! My dad caught me looking at pics of other father figures on my phone again
I saw mommy talking quietly with Santa Claus under the stark beam of the kitchen light. Santa whispered the word "divorce"
December 21, 2025 at 7:20 PM
I saw mommy talking quietly with Santa Claus under the stark beam of the kitchen light. Santa whispered the word "divorce"
Stop bringing your dogs in here, they keep buying up all our dang cigarettes!
December 16, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Stop bringing your dogs in here, they keep buying up all our dang cigarettes!
Reposted by mark magark
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Capt. Jones and I'll be your pilot today and, uh damn that's a lot of buttons. That's a lot of fucking buttons
February 14, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Capt. Jones and I'll be your pilot today and, uh damn that's a lot of buttons. That's a lot of fucking buttons
When you get into your 30's and 40's pop culture starts making up musical artists. They pretend these fake bands are popular just to make you feel bad
December 5, 2025 at 2:31 PM
When you get into your 30's and 40's pop culture starts making up musical artists. They pretend these fake bands are popular just to make you feel bad
Unfortunately someone that I respect immensely is also hot as hell
December 3, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Unfortunately someone that I respect immensely is also hot as hell
Reposted by mark magark
Cyber Monday is here and deals are going fast! These deals are diaphanous. They are receding even as we speak, becoming mere memories of deals, prices longed for but lost, hints at what could have been had for less. A golden slant of sun through window falls on an empty countertop. Act now.
December 1, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Cyber Monday is here and deals are going fast! These deals are diaphanous. They are receding even as we speak, becoming mere memories of deals, prices longed for but lost, hints at what could have been had for less. A golden slant of sun through window falls on an empty countertop. Act now.
ok computer give papa his dopamine
November 23, 2025 at 2:14 PM
ok computer give papa his dopamine
Told my girlfriend she has beautiful hair and she said "no, it looks like worms." What do I do now
November 15, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Told my girlfriend she has beautiful hair and she said "no, it looks like worms." What do I do now
And now it’s doing absolutely jack squat
ok why is lying in bed with my eyes closed making me sooo tired rn
November 14, 2025 at 5:01 AM
And now it’s doing absolutely jack squat
ok why is lying in bed with my eyes closed making me sooo tired rn
November 13, 2025 at 10:04 PM
ok why is lying in bed with my eyes closed making me sooo tired rn
Just now noticing that I can click the "remember me" box on my coworker who calls me Carl
November 12, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Just now noticing that I can click the "remember me" box on my coworker who calls me Carl
Reposted by mark magark
a new jersey-based christmas tree delivery service called Spruce Bringsteen
November 11, 2025 at 3:22 AM
a new jersey-based christmas tree delivery service called Spruce Bringsteen
Reposted by mark magark
Tech guys six months ago: haha yes we’re cutting all this WASTEFUL spending by eliminating medical research and USAID
Tech guys now: yes I think taxpayers will be excited to bailout my non consensual pornography machine
Tech guys now: yes I think taxpayers will be excited to bailout my non consensual pornography machine
November 8, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Tech guys six months ago: haha yes we’re cutting all this WASTEFUL spending by eliminating medical research and USAID
Tech guys now: yes I think taxpayers will be excited to bailout my non consensual pornography machine
Tech guys now: yes I think taxpayers will be excited to bailout my non consensual pornography machine
Reposted by mark magark
A TikToker did a social experiment where she called churches to get help to buy formula to feed her baby.
Every church repeatedly declined to help.
TikTok now can’t stop talking about the experiment.
/
Every church repeatedly declined to help.
TikTok now can’t stop talking about the experiment.
/
November 9, 2025 at 3:55 AM
A TikToker did a social experiment where she called churches to get help to buy formula to feed her baby.
Every church repeatedly declined to help.
TikTok now can’t stop talking about the experiment.
/
Every church repeatedly declined to help.
TikTok now can’t stop talking about the experiment.
/
Reposted by mark magark
People say Barbie is an unrealistic role model, but what about Mr. Potato Head? I’ve never seen a guy who looks likes that
November 9, 2025 at 5:44 AM
People say Barbie is an unrealistic role model, but what about Mr. Potato Head? I’ve never seen a guy who looks likes that
Reposted by mark magark
ME [to the demon possessing my body]: I feel like lately you're just going through the motions, that your heart just isn't in it.
THE DEMON POSSESSING MY BODY: *turns my head coldly away, looks quietly out the window*
THE DEMON POSSESSING MY BODY: *turns my head coldly away, looks quietly out the window*
November 6, 2025 at 1:58 PM
ME [to the demon possessing my body]: I feel like lately you're just going through the motions, that your heart just isn't in it.
THE DEMON POSSESSING MY BODY: *turns my head coldly away, looks quietly out the window*
THE DEMON POSSESSING MY BODY: *turns my head coldly away, looks quietly out the window*
God I love when old pieces of shit stop existing ♥️
November 4, 2025 at 12:58 PM
God I love when old pieces of shit stop existing ♥️
Reposted by mark magark
no, I said I wanted a tradewife. like a union electrician
July 11, 2025 at 4:31 PM
no, I said I wanted a tradewife. like a union electrician
Ran out of things to say but probably gonna be alive for another 40-50 years, this sucks
October 22, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Ran out of things to say but probably gonna be alive for another 40-50 years, this sucks