Unnamed Mars Colonist
@guiltyb0b.bsky.social
Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow.
Guys, I'm starting to think help isn't coming.
PA District 9 Local Antifa Shop Boss
Guys, I'm starting to think help isn't coming.
PA District 9 Local Antifa Shop Boss
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
Never escaping the adage "men are afraid that women are laughing at them; women are afraid that men will kill them"
He never dropped his phone.
Even while “fearing for his life” and shooting her with the other hand.
Even while “fearing for his life” and shooting her with the other hand.
January 9, 2026 at 7:11 PM
Never escaping the adage "men are afraid that women are laughing at them; women are afraid that men will kill them"
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
I can't believe J.D. Vance went on TV and said "Ich bin Evil! Ich bin Evil!!! Ich bin der Evil kleine Chocolate Boy!!" with chocolate smeared all over his mouth and lederhosen. But he did. And we all saw it
January 9, 2026 at 11:03 PM
I can't believe J.D. Vance went on TV and said "Ich bin Evil! Ich bin Evil!!! Ich bin der Evil kleine Chocolate Boy!!" with chocolate smeared all over his mouth and lederhosen. But he did. And we all saw it
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
I should note that our Police Chief's opening comment was, "I recently read the Declaration of Independence for the first time"
Portland Police Press conference on the shooting of 2 Portlanders:
-DHS said the victims had been involved with a shooting. Nope!
-But they were def part of Tren de Aragua
-actually no
-But TdA is real and active in Portland
-We can't name single crime TdA has been involved with in this city
-DHS said the victims had been involved with a shooting. Nope!
-But they were def part of Tren de Aragua
-actually no
-But TdA is real and active in Portland
-We can't name single crime TdA has been involved with in this city
January 10, 2026 at 12:05 AM
I should note that our Police Chief's opening comment was, "I recently read the Declaration of Independence for the first time"
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
President Xi, please offer amnesty and safe harbor in the People's Republic of China to refugees of the belligerent US failed state. There are still people here the rot hasn't reached yet, and they yearn for a future.
January 9, 2026 at 3:11 AM
President Xi, please offer amnesty and safe harbor in the People's Republic of China to refugees of the belligerent US failed state. There are still people here the rot hasn't reached yet, and they yearn for a future.
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
jesus came back and she's wearing a tshirt that says Public Execution Is The Compromise
February 18, 2025 at 12:21 AM
jesus came back and she's wearing a tshirt that says Public Execution Is The Compromise
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
"abolish ice" doesn't seem so extreme anymore, does it, you preposterous, normalizing fucks
January 7, 2026 at 7:59 PM
"abolish ice" doesn't seem so extreme anymore, does it, you preposterous, normalizing fucks
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
abolish ice is the moderate position to be honest. whichever candidate promises to nuremberg the ice agents has my vote at this point
January 7, 2026 at 8:39 PM
abolish ice is the moderate position to be honest. whichever candidate promises to nuremberg the ice agents has my vote at this point
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
genuinely incredible how comprehensively bin laden broke the nation’s psyche. the michael jordan of terrorism. i don’t like handing it to him but in this case, you gotta
January 8, 2026 at 12:13 AM
genuinely incredible how comprehensively bin laden broke the nation’s psyche. the michael jordan of terrorism. i don’t like handing it to him but in this case, you gotta
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
BORTAC agent David R. Dubar, Jr., 53, of Sierra Vista, AZ has participated in illegal kidnapping and human trafficking operations in Chicago, Charlotte, and elsewhere. Dubar is on temporarily duty assignment to CBP's Detroit Sector for purposes of deployment to IL and MN. Height 5'8", weight 185lbs.
January 7, 2026 at 11:43 PM
BORTAC agent David R. Dubar, Jr., 53, of Sierra Vista, AZ has participated in illegal kidnapping and human trafficking operations in Chicago, Charlotte, and elsewhere. Dubar is on temporarily duty assignment to CBP's Detroit Sector for purposes of deployment to IL and MN. Height 5'8", weight 185lbs.
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.
January 7, 2026 at 8:26 PM
The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
All the evidence: shows lurching right to be a huge loser for liberal parties everywhere
Liberal party strategists in unison: "Erm, we need to secure the existence..."
Liberal party strategists in unison: "Erm, we need to secure the existence..."
January 7, 2026 at 12:00 PM
All the evidence: shows lurching right to be a huge loser for liberal parties everywhere
Liberal party strategists in unison: "Erm, we need to secure the existence..."
Liberal party strategists in unison: "Erm, we need to secure the existence..."
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
This is what real fucking men do
January 6, 2026 at 2:51 PM
This is what real fucking men do
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
Guys, what if the trolley is the problem?
January 3, 2026 at 5:16 PM
Guys, what if the trolley is the problem?
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
if you are talking today about how bad maduro was and were alive, at all, during the run-up to the iraq war you are potentially the dumbest person to ever live
January 3, 2026 at 5:00 PM
if you are talking today about how bad maduro was and were alive, at all, during the run-up to the iraq war you are potentially the dumbest person to ever live
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
this original headline is infinitely funnier w this new information
January 4, 2026 at 4:32 AM
this original headline is infinitely funnier w this new information
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
the reason people sometimes act madder at democrats than republicans when republicans do impossibly evil shit is the same reason why, if you hired an exterminator to handle a roach infestation and he showed up to feed and play with them instead, your first instinct wouldn’t be to yell at the roaches
January 3, 2026 at 9:19 PM
the reason people sometimes act madder at democrats than republicans when republicans do impossibly evil shit is the same reason why, if you hired an exterminator to handle a roach infestation and he showed up to feed and play with them instead, your first instinct wouldn’t be to yell at the roaches
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
Big congrats to the Nobel Committee for awarding the prize "for her struggle to achieve a just and peaceful transition from dictatorship to democracy" just so she could immediately conspire with a foreign government to murder civilians on the high seas then invade and stage a coup.
I feel like the history of western imperialism is often like this, where there's an almost-plausible case for resource-grabbing, an almost plausible geopolitical explanation (first Caracas, then Havana), and a sort of liberal imperialist fig leaf to keep democrats from being too mad (the Nobel shit)
January 3, 2026 at 12:51 PM
Big congrats to the Nobel Committee for awarding the prize "for her struggle to achieve a just and peaceful transition from dictatorship to democracy" just so she could immediately conspire with a foreign government to murder civilians on the high seas then invade and stage a coup.
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
it's time to admit that osama bin laden won a total victory over the united states
January 3, 2026 at 10:40 AM
it's time to admit that osama bin laden won a total victory over the united states
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
The feeling that it’s 40,000 oysters but no pearls.
Forty thousand oysters went missing from a facility in Maine in late November, authorities said.
Then, authorities believe, thieves took a shipment of crab, and someone stole $400,000 worth of lobster meat 10 days later.
Then, authorities believe, thieves took a shipment of crab, and someone stole $400,000 worth of lobster meat 10 days later.
Oyster, crab, lobster thieves strike back-to-back in New England
The trio of seafood heists underscores the growing concern of cargo theft. And food is the No. 1 target, experts say.
www.washingtonpost.com
January 2, 2026 at 2:21 PM
The feeling that it’s 40,000 oysters but no pearls.
Reposted by Unnamed Mars Colonist
Australian in 2020: “Oh Naur I have-“
December 28, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Australian in 2020: “Oh Naur I have-“
Sam Lake, save us, save us all
Hey, could somebody write a story about how next year is going to be awesome? #iykyk
January 1, 2026 at 2:56 PM
Sam Lake, save us, save us all