Humphrey Go-Kart
@gothamcitymayor.bsky.social
Texan, educator, and nice curmudgeon. #zeitgang #MFFL #DallasWings #ChicagoBulls 🇵🇸
🌎 Chicago, IL
🌎 Chicago, IL
Pinned
My favorite Greek myth is the one where the hero defeats the monster, but then the monster starts a podcast.
Reposted by Humphrey Go-Kart
*my dog snoring
Me: awww Ohmygosh how precious
*my s.o snoring
Me *grabs bat from under the bed
Me: awww Ohmygosh how precious
*my s.o snoring
Me *grabs bat from under the bed
November 14, 2025 at 12:07 PM
*my dog snoring
Me: awww Ohmygosh how precious
*my s.o snoring
Me *grabs bat from under the bed
Me: awww Ohmygosh how precious
*my s.o snoring
Me *grabs bat from under the bed
Reposted by Humphrey Go-Kart
why do storks only bring babies why can’t one bring me a cannoli
November 13, 2025 at 11:56 PM
why do storks only bring babies why can’t one bring me a cannoli
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Fully aware the chaos of US politics is engineered to keep everyone obsessively feeding the drama machine, but wow does it make being online feel like punishment.
November 14, 2025 at 12:52 AM
Fully aware the chaos of US politics is engineered to keep everyone obsessively feeding the drama machine, but wow does it make being online feel like punishment.
Reposted by Humphrey Go-Kart
A big idea that commercials tried to give to me growing up was that there were brands of gum with so much flavor that if my grandpa ate it he would just die
November 13, 2025 at 4:19 PM
A big idea that commercials tried to give to me growing up was that there were brands of gum with so much flavor that if my grandpa ate it he would just die
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November 13, 2025 at 3:06 PM
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The boys.
November 13, 2025 at 4:13 AM
The boys.
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these are not even the files lol
November 13, 2025 at 11:40 PM
these are not even the files lol
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what the hell. this dude is only a year younger than me?!?!?
November 13, 2025 at 11:01 PM
what the hell. this dude is only a year younger than me?!?!?
the city announced a new initiative called “Fix It Yourself.” this applies to potholes, crime, and the economy
November 14, 2025 at 12:15 PM
the city announced a new initiative called “Fix It Yourself.” this applies to potholes, crime, and the economy
Love to live in a nation where the ambulance costs more than the horse it rode in on
November 13, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Love to live in a nation where the ambulance costs more than the horse it rode in on
Goon a movie
To Goon Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar
To Goon Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar
Goon a movie
The Goon That Saved Pittsburgh
The Goon That Saved Pittsburgh
Goon a movie
Goon Wars
Goon Wars
November 13, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Goon a movie
To Goon Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar
To Goon Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar
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Pardon me sir, are you okay?
I'm not sure. I might be having a stroke. I was just reading the Discover tab...
Say no more sir. It's not you, it's them.
I'm not sure. I might be having a stroke. I was just reading the Discover tab...
Say no more sir. It's not you, it's them.
November 12, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Pardon me sir, are you okay?
I'm not sure. I might be having a stroke. I was just reading the Discover tab...
Say no more sir. It's not you, it's them.
I'm not sure. I might be having a stroke. I was just reading the Discover tab...
Say no more sir. It's not you, it's them.
Reposted by Humphrey Go-Kart
had a terrible dream that I fell in love with the perfect person and then met their parents and
#Newsnight
#Newsnight
November 11, 2025 at 10:47 PM
had a terrible dream that I fell in love with the perfect person and then met their parents and
#Newsnight
#Newsnight
Reposted by Humphrey Go-Kart
CNBC says that rich New Yorkers started "looking for therapy" when they heard that Lina Khan will be co-chairing Zohran's transition team.
November 13, 2025 at 12:10 AM
CNBC says that rich New Yorkers started "looking for therapy" when they heard that Lina Khan will be co-chairing Zohran's transition team.
Reposted by Humphrey Go-Kart
The Federal Mint will unveil a new set of quarters commemorating each child
So what happens when it’s proved on paper and in court that the president of the United States fucked kids?
November 13, 2025 at 12:10 AM
The Federal Mint will unveil a new set of quarters commemorating each child
Reposted by Humphrey Go-Kart
pretty funny in retrospect that QAnon hinged on the idea that powerful elites at the highest levels of government were smart enough to talk in code when sending emails to each other about their despicable crimes
November 12, 2025 at 10:08 PM
pretty funny in retrospect that QAnon hinged on the idea that powerful elites at the highest levels of government were smart enough to talk in code when sending emails to each other about their despicable crimes
Reposted by Humphrey Go-Kart
BREAKING: Rep. Adelita Grijalva has officially signed onto the Epstein discharge petition. That means there are now 218 votes — and a full vote must come to the floor.
November 12, 2025 at 9:22 PM
BREAKING: Rep. Adelita Grijalva has officially signed onto the Epstein discharge petition. That means there are now 218 votes — and a full vote must come to the floor.
Reposted by Humphrey Go-Kart
His supporters starting to realize he only cares about making his and his family and fellow oligarchs bank accounts great again
November 12, 2025 at 4:57 PM
His supporters starting to realize he only cares about making his and his family and fellow oligarchs bank accounts great again
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This same solar storm would not have been as remarkable 10 years ago because people's phones were not as good
November 12, 2025 at 5:13 AM
This same solar storm would not have been as remarkable 10 years ago because people's phones were not as good
I tried to buy a house, but Zillow redirected me to a GoFundMe titled “Let Johnny Rent Forever.”
November 13, 2025 at 12:14 AM
I tried to buy a house, but Zillow redirected me to a GoFundMe titled “Let Johnny Rent Forever.”
The economy’s doing great, apparently. I can’t afford groceries, but the Dow Jones is in therapy bragging about its promotion.
November 13, 2025 at 12:14 AM
The economy’s doing great, apparently. I can’t afford groceries, but the Dow Jones is in therapy bragging about its promotion.
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I’m not allowed to process any confusing thoughts or feelings anymore, no more thoughts or feelings about anything at all
November 12, 2025 at 11:02 PM
I’m not allowed to process any confusing thoughts or feelings anymore, no more thoughts or feelings about anything at all
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there’s a guy standing in front of my bus stop hollering incoherently about Epstein and demons and honestly I can’t say that I blame him
November 12, 2025 at 9:11 PM
there’s a guy standing in front of my bus stop hollering incoherently about Epstein and demons and honestly I can’t say that I blame him
@jackob1.bsky.social I wish we could have a Blindboy/Chris Crofton crossover on TDZ
November 12, 2025 at 12:59 PM
@jackob1.bsky.social I wish we could have a Blindboy/Chris Crofton crossover on TDZ
Reposted by Humphrey Go-Kart
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
November 11, 2025 at 2:05 PM
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.