Old Man Steve
@omsteve.bsky.social
Be kind to yourself and others, and always be safe. I'm on TikTok. I'm in DFW, Texas. Some say I'm a comedian, but I don't think so; I'm just old and do jigsaw puzzles. Sometimes I dance, but I'm not very good
https://linktr.ee/OldManSteve
https://linktr.ee/OldManSteve
Everyone says you should follow your dreams....so I'm going back to bed
December 29, 2025 at 12:43 PM
Everyone says you should follow your dreams....so I'm going back to bed
Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
December 28, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
I'd probably be more of a go getter if I knew what I was going to get.
December 28, 2025 at 2:45 PM
I'd probably be more of a go getter if I knew what I was going to get.
So, if I lie to the government, it’s a felony. But if they lie to me its politics?
December 27, 2025 at 3:45 PM
So, if I lie to the government, it’s a felony. But if they lie to me its politics?
I was spontaneous once but it scared me so I had to take a nap
December 27, 2025 at 3:45 PM
I was spontaneous once but it scared me so I had to take a nap
You're telling me, a chicken fried this rice
December 26, 2025 at 2:21 PM
You're telling me, a chicken fried this rice
My New Years resolution is to read more so I put the subtitles on my tv.
December 26, 2025 at 2:20 PM
My New Years resolution is to read more so I put the subtitles on my tv.
Y'all, all I want for Christmas is some fried okra
December 25, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Y'all, all I want for Christmas is some fried okra
Well, I've officially entered the, "Why did I come into this room?" phase of my life.
December 24, 2025 at 12:54 PM
Well, I've officially entered the, "Why did I come into this room?" phase of my life.
The Family Reunion went pretty good until they all figured out that I wasn't related to any of them
December 23, 2025 at 1:24 PM
The Family Reunion went pretty good until they all figured out that I wasn't related to any of them
Roadside sobriety tests are getting ridiculous. Last night I had to fold a fitted sheet
December 23, 2025 at 1:23 PM
Roadside sobriety tests are getting ridiculous. Last night I had to fold a fitted sheet
Keychains were invented so that you can lose all of your keys at once.
December 22, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Keychains were invented so that you can lose all of your keys at once.
The last time I was someone's type, I was donating blood.
December 22, 2025 at 1:24 PM
The last time I was someone's type, I was donating blood.
When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!
December 21, 2025 at 1:24 PM
When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!
If duct tape can’t fix it, it aint broke.
December 20, 2025 at 2:27 PM
If duct tape can’t fix it, it aint broke.
If you can't sleep at night, it's usually because you're awake. Hope this helps.
December 20, 2025 at 12:23 AM
If you can't sleep at night, it's usually because you're awake. Hope this helps.
If you've still got it, jingle your bells! I can't jingle like I used to, but I still admire a good jingler when I see one.
December 19, 2025 at 12:56 PM
If you've still got it, jingle your bells! I can't jingle like I used to, but I still admire a good jingler when I see one.
A constipated guy walks into a pharmacy and orders something to go...
December 19, 2025 at 12:52 PM
A constipated guy walks into a pharmacy and orders something to go...
Reposted by Old Man Steve
Auntie Mame (1958) Directed by Morton DaCosta starring Rosalind Russell, Forrest Tucker and Coral Browne.
December 18, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Auntie Mame (1958) Directed by Morton DaCosta starring Rosalind Russell, Forrest Tucker and Coral Browne.
Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one? -
December 18, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one? -
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
December 18, 2025 at 1:36 PM
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
I was so shocked when I was born that I didn’t talk for a year and half!
December 17, 2025 at 12:32 PM
I was so shocked when I was born that I didn’t talk for a year and half!
An elderly man called Keith,
Mislaid his set of false teeth.
They'd been laid on a chair,
He'd forgot they were there,
Sat down, and was bitten beneath.
Mislaid his set of false teeth.
They'd been laid on a chair,
He'd forgot they were there,
Sat down, and was bitten beneath.
December 16, 2025 at 2:40 PM
An elderly man called Keith,
Mislaid his set of false teeth.
They'd been laid on a chair,
He'd forgot they were there,
Sat down, and was bitten beneath.
Mislaid his set of false teeth.
They'd been laid on a chair,
He'd forgot they were there,
Sat down, and was bitten beneath.
One day you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast.
December 16, 2025 at 11:48 AM
One day you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast.