Old Man Steve
@omsteve.bsky.social
Be kind to yourself and others, and always be safe. I'm on TikTok. I'm in DFW, Texas. Some say I'm a comedian, but I don't think so; I'm just old and do jigsaw puzzles. Sometimes I dance, but I'm not very good
https://linktr.ee/OldManSteve
https://linktr.ee/OldManSteve
There are four main food groups: 1. Canned 2. Frozen 3. Fried 4. Drive-thru
February 13, 2026 at 12:22 AM
There are four main food groups: 1. Canned 2. Frozen 3. Fried 4. Drive-thru
I’m a responsible person. People are always saying “I know you’re responsible for this.”
February 10, 2026 at 2:16 PM
I’m a responsible person. People are always saying “I know you’re responsible for this.”
The most frustrating thing I've ever tried to do was throw away a trash can.
February 9, 2026 at 2:01 PM
The most frustrating thing I've ever tried to do was throw away a trash can.
Artificial plants grow best in artificial light
February 8, 2026 at 3:37 PM
Artificial plants grow best in artificial light
What do you call a cow bouncing on a trampoline.. A dairy air.
February 7, 2026 at 6:55 PM
What do you call a cow bouncing on a trampoline.. A dairy air.
Doctor's office: All our records are electronic now just fill out these 12 forms.
February 5, 2026 at 1:04 PM
Doctor's office: All our records are electronic now just fill out these 12 forms.
The family that sticks together should bathe more often.
February 5, 2026 at 1:03 PM
The family that sticks together should bathe more often.
Hummingbirds are just regular birds that can't remember the lyrics.
February 3, 2026 at 1:47 PM
Hummingbirds are just regular birds that can't remember the lyrics.
That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there's no milk. So you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people?
February 2, 2026 at 3:58 PM
That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there's no milk. So you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people?
The kids text me "plz" Because it's shorter than "please". I text back "no" because it's shorter than "yes"
February 2, 2026 at 3:57 PM
The kids text me "plz" Because it's shorter than "please". I text back "no" because it's shorter than "yes"
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
February 1, 2026 at 1:59 PM
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Some people are like a newspaper, every day they have a new issue.
February 1, 2026 at 1:58 PM
Some people are like a newspaper, every day they have a new issue.
Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn't stop coloring till 2 o'clock this morning.
January 31, 2026 at 3:00 PM
Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn't stop coloring till 2 o'clock this morning.
Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.
January 31, 2026 at 2:59 PM
Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.
I thought I'd lost my marbles but I found them in the refrigerator, so everything is good
January 30, 2026 at 11:29 AM
I thought I'd lost my marbles but I found them in the refrigerator, so everything is good
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."
January 30, 2026 at 11:27 AM
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."
So when is this 'old enough to know better' suppose to kick in ?
January 29, 2026 at 5:26 PM
So when is this 'old enough to know better' suppose to kick in ?
You know you're getting old when you can get your annual dental check-up by mail
January 28, 2026 at 1:22 PM
You know you're getting old when you can get your annual dental check-up by mail
I tried to be spontaneous once but I took a nap instead
January 27, 2026 at 1:36 PM
I tried to be spontaneous once but I took a nap instead
Everytime I find the meaning of life, they change it.
January 27, 2026 at 1:35 PM
Everytime I find the meaning of life, they change it.
My bed is a magical place where I can suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.
January 26, 2026 at 1:55 PM
My bed is a magical place where I can suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.
Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, that chicken had to be somewhere between 7' to 10' tall.
January 26, 2026 at 1:53 PM
Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, that chicken had to be somewhere between 7' to 10' tall.
I'd probably be more of a go getter if I knew what I was going to get.
January 25, 2026 at 2:08 PM
I'd probably be more of a go getter if I knew what I was going to get.
"Because it would be hilarious," is probably not a good reason to elect someone as president.
January 25, 2026 at 2:06 PM
"Because it would be hilarious," is probably not a good reason to elect someone as president.
Reposted by Old Man Steve
Warning: Graphic Imagery
ICE THESE NAZI FUCKS JUST KILLED ANOTHER CITIZEN IN MINNESOTA. WE BETTER DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS AND WE BETTER DO SOMETHING QUICK.
ICE THESE NAZI FUCKS JUST KILLED ANOTHER CITIZEN IN MINNESOTA. WE BETTER DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS AND WE BETTER DO SOMETHING QUICK.
January 24, 2026 at 4:40 PM
Warning: Graphic Imagery
ICE THESE NAZI FUCKS JUST KILLED ANOTHER CITIZEN IN MINNESOTA. WE BETTER DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS AND WE BETTER DO SOMETHING QUICK.
ICE THESE NAZI FUCKS JUST KILLED ANOTHER CITIZEN IN MINNESOTA. WE BETTER DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS AND WE BETTER DO SOMETHING QUICK.