Matthew Cole 👨🏻💻
@colematt.bsky.social
Your friendly neighborhood computer scientist. Posts in context-free, strongly typed, language-agnostic intermediate representation. My corgis manage this account 🦊🍞
Pinned
Matthew Cole 👨🏻💻
@colematt.bsky.social
· Sep 29
“Lifeguard” whistle not “dog” whistle, will run on pool deck if dog want. #ungovernable
🎤 Nothing can stop me I’m all the way up
November 15, 2025 at 4:56 AM
🎤 Nothing can stop me I’m all the way up
Reposted by Matthew Cole 👨🏻💻
Found the tweet that Joyce Carol Oates bodied Elon Musk with and it's so beautiful in its eloquent, simple take down. So much so he's crashing out trying to prove he reads books now. Put this in the Louvre.
November 10, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Found the tweet that Joyce Carol Oates bodied Elon Musk with and it's so beautiful in its eloquent, simple take down. So much so he's crashing out trying to prove he reads books now. Put this in the Louvre.
Reposted by Matthew Cole 👨🏻💻
Reposted by Matthew Cole 👨🏻💻
My family has been without half our income for 40 days. It has been.. very hard.
We are willing to feel that pain so people can have health care next year, or to undo these illegal recissions.
We are not willing to have been put through this for NOTHING.
We are willing to feel that pain so people can have health care next year, or to undo these illegal recissions.
We are not willing to have been put through this for NOTHING.
November 10, 2025 at 1:36 AM
My family has been without half our income for 40 days. It has been.. very hard.
We are willing to feel that pain so people can have health care next year, or to undo these illegal recissions.
We are not willing to have been put through this for NOTHING.
We are willing to feel that pain so people can have health care next year, or to undo these illegal recissions.
We are not willing to have been put through this for NOTHING.
Reposted by Matthew Cole 👨🏻💻
“People are blaming republicans for food prices and flight cancellations and health insurance costs and are furious about gilded ballrooms and Gatsby parties and the president is falling asleep on tv and is the most deeply unpopular president in history, time to cave” is a hell of an argument
November 9, 2025 at 8:55 PM
“People are blaming republicans for food prices and flight cancellations and health insurance costs and are furious about gilded ballrooms and Gatsby parties and the president is falling asleep on tv and is the most deeply unpopular president in history, time to cave” is a hell of an argument
Reposted by Matthew Cole 👨🏻💻
Mamdani is going to implement SHA-3 law, requiring 2^511.5 time and 2^508 memory for the public to analyze.
Mamdani is going to implement Shalamar law. He’s going to make it a night to remember
November 9, 2025 at 5:01 AM
Mamdani is going to implement SHA-3 law, requiring 2^511.5 time and 2^508 memory for the public to analyze.
Reposted by Matthew Cole 👨🏻💻
To be clear, when I suggest that people sign up to be election pollworkers, I'm not trying to be flippant. I'm dead serious. It's a vital civic service where you help your neighbors vote. And you learn an absolute *ton* about how elections actually work, as well as meet the officials who run them.
November 8, 2025 at 11:05 PM
To be clear, when I suggest that people sign up to be election pollworkers, I'm not trying to be flippant. I'm dead serious. It's a vital civic service where you help your neighbors vote. And you learn an absolute *ton* about how elections actually work, as well as meet the officials who run them.
Once again, the soccer gods have spoken. Don’t stutter step.
November 8, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Once again, the soccer gods have spoken. Don’t stutter step.
America is healing.
November 5, 2025 at 2:48 AM
America is healing.
Reposted by Matthew Cole 👨🏻💻
Dem message for next year’s midterms
November 5, 2025 at 1:51 AM
Dem message for next year’s midterms
Reposted by Matthew Cole 👨🏻💻
"Dearest Martha, the Union men are carrying out the most heinous of crimes against our lines, sandwiches exploding against our defenses, mustard and onions oozing into the ground…"
a man with a beard wears a top hat
ALT: a man with a beard wears a top hat
media.tenor.com
November 4, 2025 at 3:49 PM
"Dearest Martha, the Union men are carrying out the most heinous of crimes against our lines, sandwiches exploding against our defenses, mustard and onions oozing into the ground…"
That wasn’t a doink, that was a THUNK
November 3, 2025 at 12:23 AM
That wasn’t a doink, that was a THUNK
A pepper ball is traveling 300-350 feet per second, or about 240 mph. It covers the advertised effective range in under 0.2 seconds, well below human reaction time.
One doesn’t “stray into a pepper ball”. Take some responsibility for your actions, coward.
One doesn’t “stray into a pepper ball”. Take some responsibility for your actions, coward.
Bovino continues to listen impassively to Ellis.
He had more to say Friday to @cbsnews.com:
"If someone strays into a pepper ball, then that’s on them. Don’t protest and don’t trespass.”
He had more to say Friday to @cbsnews.com:
"If someone strays into a pepper ball, then that’s on them. Don’t protest and don’t trespass.”
October 28, 2025 at 8:37 PM
A pepper ball is traveling 300-350 feet per second, or about 240 mph. It covers the advertised effective range in under 0.2 seconds, well below human reaction time.
One doesn’t “stray into a pepper ball”. Take some responsibility for your actions, coward.
One doesn’t “stray into a pepper ball”. Take some responsibility for your actions, coward.
October 28, 2025 at 3:28 AM
A lot of people are rightly pointing out that this coward has wet himself.
I want to point out that the way he is using that less than lethal riot control device is highly likely to make it lethal. You’re supposed to skip it off the ground, not shoot it point blank at the face. Untrained amateur.
I want to point out that the way he is using that less than lethal riot control device is highly likely to make it lethal. You’re supposed to skip it off the ground, not shoot it point blank at the face. Untrained amateur.
Here's a photo of my friend and colleague, Jorge Bautista, getting shot in the face with a flashbang grenade. The ICE Agent is so afraid of Jorge (who was posing no threat) that he has wet himself. Please share this photo. Everyone needs to know what cowards ICE agents are.
October 25, 2025 at 12:07 AM
A lot of people are rightly pointing out that this coward has wet himself.
I want to point out that the way he is using that less than lethal riot control device is highly likely to make it lethal. You’re supposed to skip it off the ground, not shoot it point blank at the face. Untrained amateur.
I want to point out that the way he is using that less than lethal riot control device is highly likely to make it lethal. You’re supposed to skip it off the ground, not shoot it point blank at the face. Untrained amateur.
Always fun when you’re absent mindedly reading a paper and all of a sudden you’re like wait, I know that author from my Bluesky follow list! @taliaringer.bsky.social #Baldur
October 23, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Always fun when you’re absent mindedly reading a paper and all of a sudden you’re like wait, I know that author from my Bluesky follow list! @taliaringer.bsky.social #Baldur
Reposted by Matthew Cole 👨🏻💻
Old Soviet joke:
Why do ICE agents travel in groups of three?
One can read, one can write, and the third keeps an eye on the two intellectuals
Why do ICE agents travel in groups of three?
One can read, one can write, and the third keeps an eye on the two intellectuals
New ICE recruiting methods have resulted in half of this group of absolute winners failing AN OPEN BOOK TEST
October 23, 2025 at 10:50 AM
Old Soviet joke:
Why do ICE agents travel in groups of three?
One can read, one can write, and the third keeps an eye on the two intellectuals
Why do ICE agents travel in groups of three?
One can read, one can write, and the third keeps an eye on the two intellectuals
Reposted by Matthew Cole 👨🏻💻
A family member in Portland Oregon died unexpectedly and left behind a 2 year old husky who is currently on a 5 day hold in a shelter while I try to figure out a way to get her to me here in Portland Maine so that I can adopt her...without it costing All the Money.
Anyone have any ideas?
Anyone have any ideas?
October 23, 2025 at 1:24 AM
A family member in Portland Oregon died unexpectedly and left behind a 2 year old husky who is currently on a 5 day hold in a shelter while I try to figure out a way to get her to me here in Portland Maine so that I can adopt her...without it costing All the Money.
Anyone have any ideas?
Anyone have any ideas?
Reposted by Matthew Cole 👨🏻💻
So they're trying to farm a highlights reel of "libs/lefties are violent and evil terrorists" episode.
They're trying to piss people off so they can farm screenshots of anything that can even loosely be interpreted as a threat.
They're trying to piss people off so they can farm screenshots of anything that can even loosely be interpreted as a threat.
October 17, 2025 at 11:41 PM
So they're trying to farm a highlights reel of "libs/lefties are violent and evil terrorists" episode.
They're trying to piss people off so they can farm screenshots of anything that can even loosely be interpreted as a threat.
They're trying to piss people off so they can farm screenshots of anything that can even loosely be interpreted as a threat.
Reposted by Matthew Cole 👨🏻💻
Think of this like a TV show. Right now they don't want this to be another "Everything is fucked from Tariffs" episode or "Illegally Invading Cities" episode or "where the fuck are the Epstein Files" episode or "if you control the house and Senate why is the government shut down?" episode.
October 17, 2025 at 11:41 PM
Think of this like a TV show. Right now they don't want this to be another "Everything is fucked from Tariffs" episode or "Illegally Invading Cities" episode or "where the fuck are the Epstein Files" episode or "if you control the house and Senate why is the government shut down?" episode.
Low maintenance, fast growth? Sounds like you want an unbalanced binary tree </professor joke>
are there any Tree Nerds that have suggestions on what type of tree i should replace it with? the old tree was a mesquite & i liked it but not sure if a different tree would be better.
this is in central arizona. looking for low maintenance, drought tolerance, and fast growth.
this is in central arizona. looking for low maintenance, drought tolerance, and fast growth.
a landscaper murdered my beautiful mature backyard tree and its corpse is finally being removed on tuesday and i just can’t believe that i’m actually devastated over a tree
October 16, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Low maintenance, fast growth? Sounds like you want an unbalanced binary tree </professor joke>
Way to double down like a degenerate loser.
If the entire force could watch a video link and document it, you’re just admitting you wanted the generals and admirals there as a backdrop of imprimatur.
www.npr.org/2025/10/15/n...
If the entire force could watch a video link and document it, you’re just admitting you wanted the generals and admirals there as a backdrop of imprimatur.
www.npr.org/2025/10/15/n...
Hegseth orders troops to watch his speech decrying a 'woke' military
During the speech last month, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth lectured senior military officials on the "warrior ethos," focusing on fitness and grooming standards, and calling out "fat generals."
www.npr.org
October 15, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Way to double down like a degenerate loser.
If the entire force could watch a video link and document it, you’re just admitting you wanted the generals and admirals there as a backdrop of imprimatur.
www.npr.org/2025/10/15/n...
If the entire force could watch a video link and document it, you’re just admitting you wanted the generals and admirals there as a backdrop of imprimatur.
www.npr.org/2025/10/15/n...
Reposted by Matthew Cole 👨🏻💻
