Bex Urquhart
@bexurquhart.bsky.social
Comedy, music and history lover.
Always wondered what my spirit animal was....clearly it's a Highland Coo.
Highland cattle are famous for their ability to "disco nap". Normally these brief, efficient sleeps will last between three and twenty minutes, deploying a variety of objects as pillows, including moorland boulders, cars or any particularly large dog or sheep who happens to be nearby.
November 10, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Always wondered what my spirit animal was....clearly it's a Highland Coo.
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
There are many subtle and complex arguments one can have about the future of the BBC — but I guarantee you that no other channel or streaming service will be as committed to factual programming, children’s education, history shows, religious discussion, poetry, arts, or state of the nation debate
November 10, 2025 at 12:48 PM
There are many subtle and complex arguments one can have about the future of the BBC — but I guarantee you that no other channel or streaming service will be as committed to factual programming, children’s education, history shows, religious discussion, poetry, arts, or state of the nation debate
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
They did this experiment.
The other monkeys beat the greedy monkey up and stole all his stolen bananas.
Another experiment that proved that monkeys are cleverer than people.
The other monkeys beat the greedy monkey up and stole all his stolen bananas.
Another experiment that proved that monkeys are cleverer than people.
November 9, 2025 at 6:04 PM
They did this experiment.
The other monkeys beat the greedy monkey up and stole all his stolen bananas.
Another experiment that proved that monkeys are cleverer than people.
The other monkeys beat the greedy monkey up and stole all his stolen bananas.
Another experiment that proved that monkeys are cleverer than people.
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
What I want is a TV documentary channel entirely devoted to documentaries with no quick-cut montages of everything about to happen, which don't give a fuck about keeping my attention, presented by extremely knowledgeable people in a terrible mood who have no interest in trying to make me like them.
November 9, 2025 at 8:05 PM
What I want is a TV documentary channel entirely devoted to documentaries with no quick-cut montages of everything about to happen, which don't give a fuck about keeping my attention, presented by extremely knowledgeable people in a terrible mood who have no interest in trying to make me like them.
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
Day 313 of #365DaysOfSmiles
Baby swan feeds the fish!
Baby swan feeds the fish!
November 9, 2025 at 10:02 AM
Day 313 of #365DaysOfSmiles
Baby swan feeds the fish!
Baby swan feeds the fish!
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
Unless there's an unbreakably valid safety reason why not, all button-operated pedestrian crossings should activate the lights in pedestrians' favour instantly when pressed.
November 8, 2025 at 12:55 PM
Unless there's an unbreakably valid safety reason why not, all button-operated pedestrian crossings should activate the lights in pedestrians' favour instantly when pressed.
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
I've TWO of these beautiful 'Witch & Hare' original linocuts by my mum, Jo, to give away to my Bluesky followers. The print is from my recently republished book, Help The Witch.
All you have to do to enter is repost this story from the book (maybe give it a read too?) www.tom-cox.com/robot-2/
All you have to do to enter is repost this story from the book (maybe give it a read too?) www.tom-cox.com/robot-2/
November 7, 2025 at 10:00 AM
I've TWO of these beautiful 'Witch & Hare' original linocuts by my mum, Jo, to give away to my Bluesky followers. The print is from my recently republished book, Help The Witch.
All you have to do to enter is repost this story from the book (maybe give it a read too?) www.tom-cox.com/robot-2/
All you have to do to enter is repost this story from the book (maybe give it a read too?) www.tom-cox.com/robot-2/
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
Guy Fawkes signature and Guy Fawkes signing for an Evri parcel
November 6, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Guy Fawkes signature and Guy Fawkes signing for an Evri parcel
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
The number of people who go bankrupt every year because of medical bills.
Norway - 0
UK - 0
France - 0
Spain - 0
Portugal - 0
Denmark - 0
Australia - 0
Iceland - 0
Italy - 0
Finland - 0
Ireland - 0
Germany - 0
Netherlands - 0
Sweden - 0
Japan - 0
Canada - 0
United States - 643k
Norway - 0
UK - 0
France - 0
Spain - 0
Portugal - 0
Denmark - 0
Australia - 0
Iceland - 0
Italy - 0
Finland - 0
Ireland - 0
Germany - 0
Netherlands - 0
Sweden - 0
Japan - 0
Canada - 0
United States - 643k
November 3, 2025 at 5:53 PM
The number of people who go bankrupt every year because of medical bills.
Norway - 0
UK - 0
France - 0
Spain - 0
Portugal - 0
Denmark - 0
Australia - 0
Iceland - 0
Italy - 0
Finland - 0
Ireland - 0
Germany - 0
Netherlands - 0
Sweden - 0
Japan - 0
Canada - 0
United States - 643k
Norway - 0
UK - 0
France - 0
Spain - 0
Portugal - 0
Denmark - 0
Australia - 0
Iceland - 0
Italy - 0
Finland - 0
Ireland - 0
Germany - 0
Netherlands - 0
Sweden - 0
Japan - 0
Canada - 0
United States - 643k
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
Fine! It's the criticism joke. Now can all 1,300 of you followers vote for it please. I WANT £106.
One of my jokes is up for a radio station's "Best Joke of Nottingham Comedy Festival". Comment on their post with your favourite and if mine wins, I could win £106. After the year I've had I fucking deserve it.
www.facebook.com/share/p/1DPp...
www.facebook.com/share/p/1DPp...
November 1, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Fine! It's the criticism joke. Now can all 1,300 of you followers vote for it please. I WANT £106.
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
If you're a National Trust member, it's that time of year again: Midnight tonight is the deadline. It's a shame people have to keep doing this to keep a toehold on historical truth in this country, but here we are. Voting link: www.nationaltrust.org.uk/who-we-are/a...
![[Scene is the entrance cabin to a NATIONAL TRUST PROPERTY AND GARDENS]
1
NATIONAL TRUST EMPLOYEE [inside cabin]:
Hello there
2
[A young family - two parents two kids - have arrived at the front desk].
DAD:
Hi - do you have an activity trail, for the kids?
3
NT EMPLOYEE:
Of course – you’re just in time for the Autumn Gammon Trail!
4
MUM:
That sounds fun, doesn’t it kids?
5
NT EMPLOYEE [handing an activity sheet and pencils to the kids]:
Every autumn, the Reform Trust gammons flock back to the National Trust for the AGM. Just follow the trail round the grounds, and see how many you can spot!
6
NT EMPLOYEE [hearing something in the gardens]:
Listen - that's their call
[Calls emanating from the landscape]:
tut-tut
woke-woke
7
NT EMPLOYEE [showing the family an apparently empty fenced enclosure with some bushes in]:
They are extremely sensitive and fragile...
But you can bring them out of hiding if you put a little sign down mentioning slavery.
8
KIDS [pointing]:
There they are!
[Some little red faced PEOPLE wearing Barbour jackets and gilets emerge cautiously from the bushes. They are creeping towards a TINY SIGN in the middle of the enclosure].
[Little people noises]:
woke-woke
tut-tut
woke-woke
9
[Close-up of the TINY SIGN - we can read that it says]:
Slavery had a bit to do with building this massive house.
[Noises from the little people again as they inspect the tiny sign]:
tut-tut
woke-woke
10
MUM [pointing]:
What's that one doing there?
NT EMPLOYEE:
Oh, that's so sweet…
11
[We see that one of the people is sat on a rock, with a little laptop open on a tree stump, and they are furiously typing away].
NT EMPLOYEE:
I think he's writing a column for the Daily Telegraph…
12
[We see close up to the little person’s screen, it is a word document reading]:
Are National Trust scones secretly WOKE?
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreib7lt736b6rmzinml5s7kxjdaapo2a36xp4d4lssypimx3taqicdm@jpeg)
October 31, 2025 at 9:02 AM
If you're a National Trust member, it's that time of year again: Midnight tonight is the deadline. It's a shame people have to keep doing this to keep a toehold on historical truth in this country, but here we are. Voting link: www.nationaltrust.org.uk/who-we-are/a...
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
The thing I like particularly about the fact that Isaac Newton invented the catflap is it gives the image of him trying to lay the foundations of classical mechanics but getting distracted by having to let a cat out then in again 40 seconds later and thinking, “Shit, I really need to sort this.”
October 28, 2025 at 8:13 AM
The thing I like particularly about the fact that Isaac Newton invented the catflap is it gives the image of him trying to lay the foundations of classical mechanics but getting distracted by having to let a cat out then in again 40 seconds later and thinking, “Shit, I really need to sort this.”
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
Yay for small things that make the world better! Every time I see something like this (swimming goggles today) that used to be sold covered in unnecessary plastic and now has paper/cardboard packaging, it makes me so happy. Manufacturers, I *will* choose this. Keep going! Make a better world real!
October 26, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Yay for small things that make the world better! Every time I see something like this (swimming goggles today) that used to be sold covered in unnecessary plastic and now has paper/cardboard packaging, it makes me so happy. Manufacturers, I *will* choose this. Keep going! Make a better world real!
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
![Cartoon by Stephen Collins for the Guardian.
[Scene is BBC BREAKFAST with two presenters and a guest on the sofa].
1
PRESENTER:
Now - some disturbing new research has shown
2
PRESENTER:
that as many as 10 non-Reform political parties may currently operating ‘under the radar’ across the UK.
[Show on screen logos for Greens, Lib Dems, Conservatives
3
PRESENTER:
In the studio to discuss this, Nigel Farage
[We see the guest on the sofa is indeed Nigel Farage]
4
PRESENTER:
Nigel, what’s your view?
FARAGE:
Well I think this very worrying.
5
FARAGE:
And just another reason why we should ban all immigration.
6
PRESENTER:
I won’t push back on that
FARAGE:
Absolutely!
7
PRESENTER:
Funnily enough, this is what your new show’s about, isn’t it?
FARAGE:
Oop - plug time!
PRESENTER:
Ha ha
8
FARAGE:
Yes it’s a 12-part BBC documentary called ‘In Search Of The Political Parties That Aren’t My One’.
9
[Show on the TV screen Farage presenting a documentary series titled In Search Of The Political Parties That Aren’t My One. He is wearing his farmer's getup and looking dreamily at the UK from hillsides, visiting pubs and chatting with the locals, etc]
FARAGE:
It’s a really emotional journey
10
FARAGE:
with lots of dreamy footage of me looking relatable...
11
FARAGE:
as I answer the question:
*Am I the only option for Britain?*
12
[Cut back to studio]
PRESENTER:
I won’t push back on that
FARAGE:
Absolutely!
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreidseyojvyqngmitl76iafvvbvgg4a3i7a26642c2c3gacoi7pwtbi@jpeg)
You made me do it again! 🤣
Ironically that's how Boring Doormats went... 😔
October 22, 2025 at 4:26 PM
You made me do it again! 🤣
Hahaha! Made me choke on my tea!
What a weird name for a dog. But sorry for their loss.
October 22, 2025 at 10:55 AM
Hahaha! Made me choke on my tea!
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
To celebrate the rerelease of my short story collection Help The Witch via @swiftpress.bsky.social I’m giving away TWO signed copies each with a beautiful original linoprints by my mum, from the book (now v rare & worth £40).
To enter you just need to repost this and pop a reply below.
To enter you just need to repost this and pop a reply below.
October 20, 2025 at 4:41 PM
To celebrate the rerelease of my short story collection Help The Witch via @swiftpress.bsky.social I’m giving away TWO signed copies each with a beautiful original linoprints by my mum, from the book (now v rare & worth £40).
To enter you just need to repost this and pop a reply below.
To enter you just need to repost this and pop a reply below.
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
Terry Pratchett books will make you feel better through anything, for the duration of your life. Every reread brings a joke or pun or reference you didn't get before. Decades of joy, hilarity and genius.
Tell me your most life-affirming literary opinion.
October 15, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Terry Pratchett books will make you feel better through anything, for the duration of your life. Every reread brings a joke or pun or reference you didn't get before. Decades of joy, hilarity and genius.
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
I've decided that I would like 5,000 followers on BlueSky by the end of the year; the same amount I had on Twitter when I deactivated my account. Will I do this by improving my jokes? No. Will I do this by creating new content specifically for this site? Also no.
October 14, 2025 at 1:26 PM
I've decided that I would like 5,000 followers on BlueSky by the end of the year; the same amount I had on Twitter when I deactivated my account. Will I do this by improving my jokes? No. Will I do this by creating new content specifically for this site? Also no.
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
Figured out what this picture reminded me of...
October 14, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Figured out what this picture reminded me of...
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
It is my firmest belief that all interesting people are, at least a little bit, on a quiet and constant hunt to find our own Secret Garden.
This - which I explored today - is the kind of thing I live for on walks in the deep countryside: a 200+-year-old abandoned walled garden, totally overgrown and teeming with wildlife and ghosts.
Finding lost magic places like this, untouched and undeveloped, always fills me with weird kind of hope.
Finding lost magic places like this, untouched and undeveloped, always fills me with weird kind of hope.
October 9, 2025 at 8:37 PM
It is my firmest belief that all interesting people are, at least a little bit, on a quiet and constant hunt to find our own Secret Garden.
Hilarious!
October 10, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Hilarious!
Thank you Simon @biggreenbooks.bsky.social it arrived yesterday.
And Tom @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social for signing it.
And Tom @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social for signing it.
September 28, 2025 at 1:08 PM
Thank you Simon @biggreenbooks.bsky.social it arrived yesterday.
And Tom @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social for signing it.
And Tom @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social for signing it.
Love this ❤️
Farage wanting to kick people out of the country because they migrated here made me angry and made me think about which best of British people and things wouldn't have happened were it not for the brilliance of immigration to the UK.
September 24, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Love this ❤️
Reposted by Bex Urquhart
“Take our medical advice,” say the two unhealthiest looking men you’ve ever seen in your entire life.
September 22, 2025 at 10:02 PM
“Take our medical advice,” say the two unhealthiest looking men you’ve ever seen in your entire life.