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adelaidejerks.bsky.social
adelaide jerks
@adelaidejerks.bsky.social
A jerk from Adelaide Australia
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"I WALKED TIMOTHEE CHALAMET ON STAGE! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"
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The loss of access to old Looney Tunes cartoons is a tragedy for culture. How else are kids going to find out about Peter Lorre
March 16, 2025 at 9:01 PM
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“Have you tried eating a second dinner?”

-Me, as a therapist.
March 13, 2025 at 2:02 AM
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Epic idea
March 11, 2025 at 10:48 AM
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“still punk as fuck” i whisper to myself as i sit in front of my screen eating chips and waiting for my therapists video to connect
March 11, 2025 at 1:39 AM
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Does he know they call it porridge, not Lucky Charms?
March 11, 2025 at 9:36 AM
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Rocky celebrating on the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, except it’s me successfully ascending twelve steps without holding onto a railing or walking on all fours.
March 11, 2025 at 9:45 AM
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I have two wolves inside me

-me explaining my weight gain
March 11, 2025 at 4:12 AM
If you want to be spared prison for a string of murders make sure beforehand you establish to the police and the press that your nickname is ‘The Juror Killer’.
March 11, 2025 at 5:53 AM
Sometimes after watching the tide selfishly destroy a sandcastle I like to take off my belt and flog the water just to see the look of surprise on the ocean's stupid face.
March 11, 2025 at 5:06 AM
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Like the old saying goes, you have to be a bitch to be kind or whatever.
March 11, 2025 at 4:49 AM
How is it bad luck to open an umbrella indoors but not in your urethra?
March 11, 2025 at 3:38 AM
Yeah I'm gonna *break my rusty cage
And **run

*Too big to fit
**Walked
March 11, 2025 at 3:37 AM
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Let's goooo!
March 11, 2025 at 3:09 AM
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C+C Music Factory? You guessed it. Cilantro+Cilantro.
March 11, 2025 at 3:22 AM
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hello darkness (between the hours of 6am and 7am for at least a couple of weeks) my old friend
March 9, 2025 at 10:19 AM
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I have to admit, every time they upgrade me to First Class for free, I get a
January 5, 2025 at 2:43 PM
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[1981, dancing at CBGB]
Her: Blondie is so cool!
Me: Dagwood’s kind of a chump though
March 9, 2025 at 5:03 AM
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Puttin’ on some ankle weights and going for a run straight to the bottom of the lake.
March 7, 2025 at 6:12 PM
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watching the lion king take a break from chowing down on my mother’s bloody corpse to sing a whole song about how it’s cool and normal
March 8, 2025 at 1:10 AM
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tarantino and kevin smith, sealed in a chamber with harvey weinsteins body. doors will not open until they eat the corpse entirely as penance. doing rock paper scissors for who has to eat his dick and balls
March 8, 2025 at 2:38 AM
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I like to pull up nude to international borders so the inspectors know I have nothing to hide.
March 8, 2025 at 5:13 AM
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Jesus admittedly was kind of a nepo baby
March 7, 2025 at 12:03 AM