Vern Lastname
@vernspants.bsky.social
Reposted by Vern Lastname
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
January 23, 2026 at 3:46 PM
Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.
2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.
Reposted by Vern Lastname
hey train perverts wanna see the shinkansen cloaca
January 17, 2026 at 6:13 PM
hey train perverts wanna see the shinkansen cloaca
Reposted by Vern Lastname
"i saw a bad post on x" ok well i saw a turd in the toilet but i'm not making you look at a screenshot of it
January 16, 2026 at 4:42 PM
"i saw a bad post on x" ok well i saw a turd in the toilet but i'm not making you look at a screenshot of it
Reposted by Vern Lastname
‘How Different Could Purified And Distilled Water Really Be?’ Thinks Humidifier Owner About To Enter World Of Shit https://theonion.com/how-different-could-purified-and-distilled-water-really-be-thinks-humidifier-owner-about-to-enter-world-of-shit/
December 26, 2025 at 10:00 PM
‘How Different Could Purified And Distilled Water Really Be?’ Thinks Humidifier Owner About To Enter World Of Shit https://theonion.com/how-different-could-purified-and-distilled-water-really-be-thinks-humidifier-owner-about-to-enter-world-of-shit/
Reposted by Vern Lastname
The ability to convince capital markets to hand you a trillion dollars on the strength of obvious bullshit paired with the inability to get a single human to sincerely and spontaneously say they love you is some real punishment of the gods shit.
Elon has never experienced this and neither have his biggest fans but now they can create these visuals with the help of a computermachine
November 8, 2025 at 4:13 PM
The ability to convince capital markets to hand you a trillion dollars on the strength of obvious bullshit paired with the inability to get a single human to sincerely and spontaneously say they love you is some real punishment of the gods shit.
Reposted by Vern Lastname
I've built a socioeconomic system that depends on everyone to do useful work and act ethically except the people at the top, who get unimaginable rewards for being antisocial frauds and criminals. And I think it will stand the test of time
October 28, 2025 at 7:16 PM
I've built a socioeconomic system that depends on everyone to do useful work and act ethically except the people at the top, who get unimaginable rewards for being antisocial frauds and criminals. And I think it will stand the test of time
Reposted by Vern Lastname
Learned that an anonymous outside expert on submersibles did an interview with the OceanGate Titan investigation, and they released a transcript, with all the names redacted. The first line of his first answer? "I'm sure you're familiar with my film Titanic."
October 16, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Learned that an anonymous outside expert on submersibles did an interview with the OceanGate Titan investigation, and they released a transcript, with all the names redacted. The first line of his first answer? "I'm sure you're familiar with my film Titanic."
Reposted by Vern Lastname
Hakeem Jeffries still refuses to endorse the Democratic Nominee for NYC mayor but has plenty of praise for Eric Adams who, left the party, openly supports Trump, & cut a deal with Trump to disappear the DOJ’s bribery & corruption charges against him. Can’t imagine why the Dem Party has 26% approval🤔
September 28, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Hakeem Jeffries still refuses to endorse the Democratic Nominee for NYC mayor but has plenty of praise for Eric Adams who, left the party, openly supports Trump, & cut a deal with Trump to disappear the DOJ’s bribery & corruption charges against him. Can’t imagine why the Dem Party has 26% approval🤔
Reposted by Vern Lastname
Trump: don’t take acepitoemponoene
RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth*
A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel”
Person watching on tv: well if they say so
RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth*
A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel”
Person watching on tv: well if they say so
September 23, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Trump: don’t take acepitoemponoene
RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth*
A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel”
Person watching on tv: well if they say so
RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth*
A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel”
Person watching on tv: well if they say so
Reposted by Vern Lastname
KIM KITSURAGI - "What is it, detective? Can you make it out?"
BULLET - "if you read this you are gay lmao"
1. "It, um, doesn't say anything."
2. "Transgender ideology. My old foe."
3. [Espirit de Corps - Medium 10] "I think you should read it for yourself, Kim."
BULLET - "if you read this you are gay lmao"
1. "It, um, doesn't say anything."
2. "Transgender ideology. My old foe."
3. [Espirit de Corps - Medium 10] "I think you should read it for yourself, Kim."
September 12, 2025 at 11:38 PM
KIM KITSURAGI - "What is it, detective? Can you make it out?"
BULLET - "if you read this you are gay lmao"
1. "It, um, doesn't say anything."
2. "Transgender ideology. My old foe."
3. [Espirit de Corps - Medium 10] "I think you should read it for yourself, Kim."
BULLET - "if you read this you are gay lmao"
1. "It, um, doesn't say anything."
2. "Transgender ideology. My old foe."
3. [Espirit de Corps - Medium 10] "I think you should read it for yourself, Kim."
Reposted by Vern Lastname
‘New York Times’ Announces New Columnist Will Contribute Nothing To Society 3 Times A Week
September 11, 2025 at 4:00 PM
‘New York Times’ Announces New Columnist Will Contribute Nothing To Society 3 Times A Week
Reposted by Vern Lastname
i think anyone saying he practiced politics the right way or that we should continue his work should first have to read out loud his last days worth of posts to someone they love who doesnt know who he is
September 11, 2025 at 11:47 AM
i think anyone saying he practiced politics the right way or that we should continue his work should first have to read out loud his last days worth of posts to someone they love who doesnt know who he is
Reposted by Vern Lastname
dems getting horned up for newsom:
August 31, 2025 at 3:58 PM
dems getting horned up for newsom:
Reposted by Vern Lastname
This is a masterpiece. Simply excellent
www.instagram.com/reel/DMVGMIC...
www.instagram.com/reel/DMVGMIC...
August 14, 2025 at 3:54 PM
This is a masterpiece. Simply excellent
www.instagram.com/reel/DMVGMIC...
www.instagram.com/reel/DMVGMIC...
Reposted by Vern Lastname
JAMES BOND (Tom Holland): (into smart watch) Alexa, I need your help! I can’t get into the Amazon fulfillment centre to save the Prime Minister! There’s a large group of pro-union protestors blocking the way!
MILF YOUNGLY (Lauren Sanchez): Perhaps I could be of service, Mr. Bond. I am 24 years old.
MILF YOUNGLY (Lauren Sanchez): Perhaps I could be of service, Mr. Bond. I am 24 years old.
August 14, 2025 at 2:35 PM
JAMES BOND (Tom Holland): (into smart watch) Alexa, I need your help! I can’t get into the Amazon fulfillment centre to save the Prime Minister! There’s a large group of pro-union protestors blocking the way!
MILF YOUNGLY (Lauren Sanchez): Perhaps I could be of service, Mr. Bond. I am 24 years old.
MILF YOUNGLY (Lauren Sanchez): Perhaps I could be of service, Mr. Bond. I am 24 years old.
Reposted by Vern Lastname
My bereaved family: Can't believe he's gone. But now, with the power of technology, we can ask him what he thinks about current events
My distorted face glitching on a screen: ToyYotathon Is hERE
My distorted face glitching on a screen: ToyYotathon Is hERE
August 4, 2025 at 8:39 PM
My bereaved family: Can't believe he's gone. But now, with the power of technology, we can ask him what he thinks about current events
My distorted face glitching on a screen: ToyYotathon Is hERE
My distorted face glitching on a screen: ToyYotathon Is hERE
Spent four weeks procrastinating writing a two sentence email.
July 31, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Spent four weeks procrastinating writing a two sentence email.
Reposted by Vern Lastname
Reposted by Vern Lastname
Pat McAfee, former NFL player, podcaster and college football commentator, has died from eating a car battery. He was 47 years old
November 23, 2024 at 3:24 PM
Pat McAfee, former NFL player, podcaster and college football commentator, has died from eating a car battery. He was 47 years old
Reposted by Vern Lastname
I still think this is a strong contender for the funniest video ever uploaded. Absolutely unbeatable comedic rhythm
June 20, 2025 at 5:42 PM
I still think this is a strong contender for the funniest video ever uploaded. Absolutely unbeatable comedic rhythm
Reposted by Vern Lastname
If you like the horrific slop known as "oatmeal" that's your business but keep it to yourself. Don't barge into my replies to defend it. Don't tell me about the 50 ingredients I need to add to make it edible. Do not tell me that cooking cardboard is a "skill issue"
May 20, 2025 at 8:03 PM
If you like the horrific slop known as "oatmeal" that's your business but keep it to yourself. Don't barge into my replies to defend it. Don't tell me about the 50 ingredients I need to add to make it edible. Do not tell me that cooking cardboard is a "skill issue"
Reposted by Vern Lastname
Reposted by Vern Lastname
![screenshot from DoorDash app. Reads:
Step 4: Whipped Cream
Optional
[check box] No Cream
[check box] Yea Cream On It](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:m3qqi5ttz7ars5cmz2o6nmkj/bafkreihnlrynnuvmyy7l3jknpnkzhi6f2bthdfb36liapawmheizas5xzq@jpeg)