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joles.bsky.social
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@joles.bsky.social
i’m timothee chalamet
Pinned
man was not made to look at screens all day,,, man was made to stare at the glorious sunrise in awe and wonder until he trips over a medium sized rock and fall into a bog where his body will be preserved for thousands of years
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*getting sworn in as the mayor with my hand on a copy of the DSM-5*
January 4, 2026 at 7:46 AM
i will give you a one mmillion dollar if u come to my house and hit me over da head with a rubber mallet until i fall down asleep with liytle birds circling my head like a cartoon character
January 5, 2026 at 8:50 AM
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don't you
spaghett about me
January 1, 2026 at 11:27 PM
life hack: wanna save time and energy?

try showering less!

you may be wondering how that works.

well it's like this: it doesn't matter if you shower or not.

in fact, it doesn't matter if you do anything at all.

that's because nothing matters.

that's right folks—you're depressed.
December 28, 2025 at 3:27 AM
December 14, 2025 at 12:51 AM
alas, if only there were some way to use my platform (roughly 1000 disinterested accounts on a completely irrelevant microblogging platform) to do something actuall ly meaningful (personally lucrative morally bankrupt)
December 12, 2025 at 4:41 AM
i have no idea what the movie forrest gump is about. not one single notion. it could have aliens in it. or santa claus. or full frontal nudity. maybe he buys a zoo. nobody tell me, it is important to my lore that i remain ignorant of thi
December 9, 2025 at 4:29 AM
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December 4, 2025 at 5:47 PM
chopped unc implies the existence of a joined or united neph—such a being would be the epitome of cool
December 2, 2025 at 10:54 AM
everything else aside, thank gosh i was born at a time when i can lie awake at midnight watching 7-year-old episodes of middling british panel tv shows in 45-second increments, rather than having to feel a single one of my feelings
November 29, 2025 at 5:03 AM
this needs to get 15 likes so i can have enough dopamine to get me through the workday
November 26, 2025 at 7:57 PM
had a dream last night i ate a hotdog and everyone in the dream was like, “wtf you’ve been a vegetarian for 20 years” and i was like, “yeah so? i can have one hotdog every 20 years who cares” and so i ate the hotdog and it tasted disgusting and it made me sick. that was the whole dream
November 24, 2025 at 7:51 PM
that “posts more than 50 times in one day” label is wild…… buddy i do not have that many *thoughts* in one day r u kidding me?!!?
November 20, 2025 at 4:16 PM
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Goku can never have sex because of the power imbalance
"my least woke opinion is---"

That's enough. We've had enough people indulging in the "thrill of a little conservatism", as a treat. Of considering reactionary thought to be a salacious and taboo in a world descending into reactionary mania.

Give me your MOST woke opinions. We're bringing it back.
November 14, 2025 at 2:47 PM
*climbing out of a very dark hole carrying an absurdly large and ostentatious new electric guitar* well folks, i’m back!!
thinking of going on a downward spiral—anyone need anything from rock bottom?
November 13, 2025 at 6:44 PM
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3:19am I believe in us. We will be okay. We will see communism in our lifetimes. I love you.

3:44am Burning all my paintings. My art is a waste I am sorry for wasting so much time I will never be good enough

4:31am if kirby swallowed a pirate he would be Scurby
February 6, 2025 at 2:55 AM
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I am personally trying to make this platform more toxic and hateful.
November 2, 2025 at 1:11 PM
November 1, 2025 at 11:31 PM
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hey don’t bother the shrouded woman with the lantern who walks by the river at night she’s chill
November 1, 2025 at 1:11 AM
life hack: if you don’t have a therapist right now, you can just answer the phone the next time the sweetwater sales guy calls, and dive straight into it. jeremy is not allowed to hang up on you, you can just tell him everything
October 31, 2025 at 4:44 PM
so it works like this. i DO NOT believe in god or any sort of higher power. but I DO believe that everything bad is my fault because god is punishing me for my Sins. got it?
October 29, 2025 at 4:29 PM
i need better vices….. i should get addicted to like.. falling down the stairs or something. workaholic just isn’t cutting it imo
October 29, 2025 at 4:20 PM
this emoji is completely psychotic 🤗 wtf is her problem..,, i am afraid for my life
October 29, 2025 at 4:11 PM
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You can either start a scam, work for scammers, or deport 5-year-olds. Those are the only 3 jobs now.
October 29, 2025 at 3:41 AM
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getting the shit kicked out of me while the Twin Peaks theme song plays
October 16, 2025 at 11:58 AM