Two Turtle Dubs
@twoturtledubs.bsky.social
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
Even with a billion dollars in quarters you would still not win this game. No one has ever won this game.
If I was a billionaire I would not take trips to Crime Island. I would own The Simpsons arcade machine
January 31, 2026 at 3:40 AM
Even with a billion dollars in quarters you would still not win this game. No one has ever won this game.
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
A video of Alex Pretti reading out the final salute of an unnamed veteran he cared for until the end of his life in the ICU, posted to Facebook by his son.
January 25, 2026 at 1:18 AM
A video of Alex Pretti reading out the final salute of an unnamed veteran he cared for until the end of his life in the ICU, posted to Facebook by his son.
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
This lady is 35 years old but she ate some yams now look at her
January 24, 2026 at 7:00 PM
This lady is 35 years old but she ate some yams now look at her
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
Chief Strategist for Rand Paul.
January 24, 2026 at 9:14 PM
Chief Strategist for Rand Paul.
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
Protester in Minnesota: I’m 70 years old and I’m fucking angry *disappears into gas*
January 24, 2026 at 5:16 PM
Protester in Minnesota: I’m 70 years old and I’m fucking angry *disappears into gas*
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
Nehls: I would like to quickly address the police officers from January 6th. And I can tell you that the fault does not lie with Donald Trump. It lies with the US capitol leadership team.
Fanone: *Coughs: Go fuck yourself*
Fanone: *Coughs: Go fuck yourself*
January 22, 2026 at 7:16 PM
Nehls: I would like to quickly address the police officers from January 6th. And I can tell you that the fault does not lie with Donald Trump. It lies with the US capitol leadership team.
Fanone: *Coughs: Go fuck yourself*
Fanone: *Coughs: Go fuck yourself*
Terrible people like Ray Lewis and Michael Irvin are unhappy, which is a great thing.
Feel sorry for my boy Bernie Kosar though.
Feel sorry for my boy Bernie Kosar though.
January 20, 2026 at 4:19 AM
Terrible people like Ray Lewis and Michael Irvin are unhappy, which is a great thing.
Feel sorry for my boy Bernie Kosar though.
Feel sorry for my boy Bernie Kosar though.
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
Sorry folks we can’t broadcast Michigan / Ohio State so here’s a 13-9 Army / Navy rock fight
January 19, 2026 at 4:52 PM
Sorry folks we can’t broadcast Michigan / Ohio State so here’s a 13-9 Army / Navy rock fight
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
Naaaaaaailed it
January 15, 2026 at 11:43 PM
Naaaaaaailed it
The only good thing Scott Adams ever did was inspire The Dilberthole. Somebody just copied actual strips and replaced the text with the most foul, absurd, homophobic dialogue.
This may violate my liberal bonafides, but it was fucking hilarious.
This one is the tamest
This may violate my liberal bonafides, but it was fucking hilarious.
This one is the tamest
January 13, 2026 at 6:15 PM
The only good thing Scott Adams ever did was inspire The Dilberthole. Somebody just copied actual strips and replaced the text with the most foul, absurd, homophobic dialogue.
This may violate my liberal bonafides, but it was fucking hilarious.
This one is the tamest
This may violate my liberal bonafides, but it was fucking hilarious.
This one is the tamest
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
RIP to Scott Adams, creator of Garfield
January 13, 2026 at 4:34 PM
RIP to Scott Adams, creator of Garfield
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
Haha just kidding he’s in hell
January 13, 2026 at 4:49 PM
Haha just kidding he’s in hell
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
This is the funniest shit I have ever seen. He kicks the dude in the beans and then mocks him
another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls
December 27, 2025 at 5:36 PM
This is the funniest shit I have ever seen. He kicks the dude in the beans and then mocks him
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
FBI Designates Brown University Shooting A Cold Case
December 15, 2025 at 7:00 PM
FBI Designates Brown University Shooting A Cold Case
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
We're gonna need a truth and reconciliation commission and Nuremberg style trials to reckon with all of this evil, and any Dem candidate for office who shies away from a full reckoning in the name of "moving forward as a nation" can get well and truly fucked
I feel much safer today knowing that we deported a Babson College student back to a country where she hasn't lived since childhood.
She wasn't even flying internationally. She was flying to Texas.
She wasn't even flying internationally. She was flying to Texas.
A Babson College student wanted to surprise her family for Thanksgiving. She was deported instead. - The Boston Globe
Any Lucia Lopez Belloza was at Logan to catch a flight to Texas when immigration authorities detained her as she was about to board the plane.
www.bostonglobe.com
November 27, 2025 at 4:29 PM
We're gonna need a truth and reconciliation commission and Nuremberg style trials to reckon with all of this evil, and any Dem candidate for office who shies away from a full reckoning in the name of "moving forward as a nation" can get well and truly fucked
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷
November 26, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
First off, my suspension has ended. Got a little harsh with a post a few days ago but I didn’t have my feet on the ground and I’m sorry if I offended anyone. Will try to be more chipper. Knock on wood!
November 17, 2025 at 9:04 PM
First off, my suspension has ended. Got a little harsh with a post a few days ago but I didn’t have my feet on the ground and I’m sorry if I offended anyone. Will try to be more chipper. Knock on wood!
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
Pretty feasible world where the Browns finish 2-15 with both the DPOY and DROY on the roster.
November 16, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Pretty feasible world where the Browns finish 2-15 with both the DPOY and DROY on the roster.
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
I saw the Washington Post editorial on redistricting today and this is my official response.
November 8, 2025 at 1:11 AM
I saw the Washington Post editorial on redistricting today and this is my official response.
Reposted by Two Turtle Dubs
Every day, as a Jew, I am going to call the ADL's tip line to report Mamdani anti-Semitism with at least three seismically moronic insights. I will begin with an accusation that the new mayor prefers strawberry and blueberry bagels to savory, and sometimes schmears butter.
Fuck Jonathan Greenblatt.
Fuck Jonathan Greenblatt.
November 5, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Every day, as a Jew, I am going to call the ADL's tip line to report Mamdani anti-Semitism with at least three seismically moronic insights. I will begin with an accusation that the new mayor prefers strawberry and blueberry bagels to savory, and sometimes schmears butter.
Fuck Jonathan Greenblatt.
Fuck Jonathan Greenblatt.