Pinned
Patton Oswalt
@pattonoswalt.bsky.social
· Nov 23
BLACK COFFEE AND ICE WATER is available for download NOW on Audible! A fresh hour of brand-new comedy. One of the loosest, rawest albums I’ve ever done and I am beyond proud of it!
Daniel Plainview voice:
January 4, 2026 at 3:43 AM
Daniel Plainview voice:
Reposted by Patton Oswalt
Andor 2x09
ou Mundo, 3 de janeiro de 2026
ou Mundo, 3 de janeiro de 2026
January 3, 2026 at 8:23 PM
Andor 2x09
ou Mundo, 3 de janeiro de 2026
ou Mundo, 3 de janeiro de 2026
This thread will give you maximum happy.
Yeah, man, the only difference between your career and Mark Rufallo’s career is the political stuff.
January 3, 2026 at 7:48 AM
This thread will give you maximum happy.
Dude looks like an A&F cover model and everyone acts like he has open boils.
And let's not forget that said teenage boy is also the Hottest Boy on the Planet yet wants us to believe he's a social outcast girls would say ick to.
January 2, 2026 at 9:08 PM
Dude looks like an A&F cover model and everyone acts like he has open boils.
Thinking about the totally relatable John Hughes film SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL, in which a teenage boy has to choose between
a) The Hottest Girl On The Planet and
b) The Equally Hottest Girl On The Planet.
a) The Hottest Girl On The Planet and
b) The Equally Hottest Girl On The Planet.
January 2, 2026 at 9:04 PM
Thinking about the totally relatable John Hughes film SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL, in which a teenage boy has to choose between
a) The Hottest Girl On The Planet and
b) The Equally Hottest Girl On The Planet.
a) The Hottest Girl On The Planet and
b) The Equally Hottest Girl On The Planet.
Reposted by Patton Oswalt
An Unlikely Alliance is Forged in @darkhorse.com & @archiecomics.bsky.social's ARCHIE vs. MINOR THREATS #4 by @pattonoswalt.bsky.social, @blumjordan.bsky.social, @comicbooktimmy.bsky.social, Scott Koblish, Hi-Fi Colour & @blambot.bsky.social #ArchievsMinorThreats
comicsbodega.com/preview-arch...
comicsbodega.com/preview-arch...
An Unlikely Alliance is Forged in ARCHIE vs. MINOR THREATS #4
Crime, milkshakes, and magic await you in this climatic crescendo finale of the first ever Minor Threats crossover!
comicsbodega.com
January 2, 2026 at 3:25 PM
An Unlikely Alliance is Forged in @darkhorse.com & @archiecomics.bsky.social's ARCHIE vs. MINOR THREATS #4 by @pattonoswalt.bsky.social, @blumjordan.bsky.social, @comicbooktimmy.bsky.social, Scott Koblish, Hi-Fi Colour & @blambot.bsky.social #ArchievsMinorThreats
comicsbodega.com/preview-arch...
comicsbodega.com/preview-arch...
Clean nutrition for the cop who needs backup NOW GODDAMIT
January 2, 2026 at 3:53 AM
Clean nutrition for the cop who needs backup NOW GODDAMIT
Reposted by Patton Oswalt
Not only is this outstanding, but it reminds me of an excellent bit by @pattonoswalt.bsky.social on the right’s strategically deploying certain language to advance discriminatory policies, and the need to look at the broader message being advanced: youtu.be/AkKo1_RP_0c?...
January 1, 2026 at 8:42 PM
Not only is this outstanding, but it reminds me of an excellent bit by @pattonoswalt.bsky.social on the right’s strategically deploying certain language to advance discriminatory policies, and the need to look at the broader message being advanced: youtu.be/AkKo1_RP_0c?...
I love that 2025 is going out with this last troll and/or bot message in my Insta inbox. “Nunnery.” It’s either an AI glitch, someone who’s 83, or a home schooled 12 year-old.
January 1, 2026 at 12:00 AM
I love that 2025 is going out with this last troll and/or bot message in my Insta inbox. “Nunnery.” It’s either an AI glitch, someone who’s 83, or a home schooled 12 year-old.
Wait’ll you see all the crazy shenanigans my character gets up to over the course of the season!
I'm about three and a half minutes into Netflix's The Abandons--a show I saw literally no press or ads for--and I'm instantly in. Gillian Anderson as icy Business Mom versus Lena Headey as the scrappy Ranch Mom in the Old West. @pattonoswalt.bsky.social as the Mayor kinda did it.
December 29, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Wait’ll you see all the crazy shenanigans my character gets up to over the course of the season!
Candles gleaming
Children screaming
All blood shall be spilled
So blade or gun
It matters none
‘Cuz Santa Claus can’t be killed
Children screaming
All blood shall be spilled
So blade or gun
It matters none
‘Cuz Santa Claus can’t be killed
December 27, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Candles gleaming
Children screaming
All blood shall be spilled
So blade or gun
It matters none
‘Cuz Santa Claus can’t be killed
Children screaming
All blood shall be spilled
So blade or gun
It matters none
‘Cuz Santa Claus can’t be killed
I mean yeah it’s an authoritarian takeover but can we take some comfort in the fact that the people doing it are INSANELY stupid?
December 23, 2025 at 8:15 PM
I mean yeah it’s an authoritarian takeover but can we take some comfort in the fact that the people doing it are INSANELY stupid?
Reposted by Patton Oswalt
The new @pattonoswalt.bsky.social special BLACK COFFEE AND ICE WATER has a couple terrific bits about AI.
December 22, 2025 at 4:05 PM
The new @pattonoswalt.bsky.social special BLACK COFFEE AND ICE WATER has a couple terrific bits about AI.
Reposted by Patton Oswalt
Was a big fan of the monolith from 2001, had no idea it visited Epstein Island. Donating my Blu-Ray to charity.
December 19, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Was a big fan of the monolith from 2001, had no idea it visited Epstein Island. Donating my Blu-Ray to charity.
THIS MONDAY! Patton Oswalt & Friends (moved from last Sunday — sorry!) Me! Jackie Kashian! Bob Odenkirk! Sarah Silverman! Tickets are almost gone. See you there?!?
December 19, 2025 at 7:09 PM
THIS MONDAY! Patton Oswalt & Friends (moved from last Sunday — sorry!) Me! Jackie Kashian! Bob Odenkirk! Sarah Silverman! Tickets are almost gone. See you there?!?
Reposted by Patton Oswalt
I wrote this under embargo and remember being shocked when the other reviews came in.
It felt like @pattonoswalt.bsky.social was the only other person fully behind this absolute kickass time at the movies.
Punisher War Zone & @lexialex.bsky.social forever.
www.sfchronicle.com/movies/artic...
It felt like @pattonoswalt.bsky.social was the only other person fully behind this absolute kickass time at the movies.
Punisher War Zone & @lexialex.bsky.social forever.
www.sfchronicle.com/movies/artic...
Movie review: 'Punisher: War Zone' bloody good
Every few months, my father calls me out of the blue, informs me that he's at a video...
www.sfgate.com
December 19, 2025 at 3:42 PM
I wrote this under embargo and remember being shocked when the other reviews came in.
It felt like @pattonoswalt.bsky.social was the only other person fully behind this absolute kickass time at the movies.
Punisher War Zone & @lexialex.bsky.social forever.
www.sfchronicle.com/movies/artic...
It felt like @pattonoswalt.bsky.social was the only other person fully behind this absolute kickass time at the movies.
Punisher War Zone & @lexialex.bsky.social forever.
www.sfchronicle.com/movies/artic...
Reposted by Patton Oswalt
I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Kennedy Center.
December 18, 2025 at 7:54 PM
I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Kennedy Center.
A humbling tribute.
December 16, 2025 at 9:03 PM
A humbling tribute.
“Oh you mean THIS gate key.”
“I’m just as God made me, sir.”
“I had some more fried food for lunch.”
Even the throwaway lines by day players in Rob Reiner movies landed. He delighted in everything.
“I’m just as God made me, sir.”
“I had some more fried food for lunch.”
Even the throwaway lines by day players in Rob Reiner movies landed. He delighted in everything.
December 16, 2025 at 12:10 AM
“Oh you mean THIS gate key.”
“I’m just as God made me, sir.”
“I had some more fried food for lunch.”
Even the throwaway lines by day players in Rob Reiner movies landed. He delighted in everything.
“I’m just as God made me, sir.”
“I had some more fried food for lunch.”
Even the throwaway lines by day players in Rob Reiner movies landed. He delighted in everything.
I interviewed Rob Reiner as one of the bonuses for the @criterion.bsky.social BluRay of SPINAL TAP. We talked for an hour about the movie and his career and then they shut off the cameras and we talked about movies for another hour. A delightful, unhurried genius.
December 15, 2025 at 5:51 AM
I interviewed Rob Reiner as one of the bonuses for the @criterion.bsky.social BluRay of SPINAL TAP. We talked for an hour about the movie and his career and then they shut off the cameras and we talked about movies for another hour. A delightful, unhurried genius.
If you still get a chance to see this in theaters TAKE it because watching an audience react to the insane twists and turns is almost as fun as the movie itself. Saw it opening day and the crowd was INTO IT
We’re up! On NETFLIX! Please enjoy #WakeUpDeadMan at home or in theaters - we’re staying on 500 screens nationwide through next week. Theater finder link in my pinned post ☠️⏰🎄
December 12, 2025 at 10:46 PM
If you still get a chance to see this in theaters TAKE it because watching an audience react to the insane twists and turns is almost as fun as the movie itself. Saw it opening day and the crowd was INTO IT
Tickets are NOW ON SALE for Cali 2026!!! Get 'em while they're sizzling. PattonOswalt.com
December 12, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Tickets are NOW ON SALE for Cali 2026!!! Get 'em while they're sizzling. PattonOswalt.com
Damn, that’s… exactly what I bet I looked like tonight
@pattonoswalt.bsky.social put on an amazing show tonight at Go Bananas in Cincinnati even though he was a little under the weather. I never know what a sketch I draw in the dark will look until after but but it captured the moment! At least we did not have a Tig Notaro Incident.🤣✍📗#urbansketching
December 12, 2025 at 5:24 AM
Damn, that’s… exactly what I bet I looked like tonight