jerm
@super-unison.bsky.social
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saw this outside your mom’s house
September 23, 2025 at 12:31 PM
saw this outside your mom’s house
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saw this musical. did not care for it.
November 14, 2024 at 11:42 PM
saw this musical. did not care for it.
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First jobs are so weird. One minute you’re in school and your friends are all your age and the next minute you’re best friends with a 68 year old man because you both hate the same guy at work.
May 25, 2025 at 4:21 PM
First jobs are so weird. One minute you’re in school and your friends are all your age and the next minute you’re best friends with a 68 year old man because you both hate the same guy at work.
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the government wants me to create a baby with my husband? the man who eats sushi while driving?
May 10, 2025 at 8:31 PM
the government wants me to create a baby with my husband? the man who eats sushi while driving?
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A subscription channel for Timothy Olyphant fans called OnlyPhants
May 11, 2025 at 8:56 PM
A subscription channel for Timothy Olyphant fans called OnlyPhants
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fictional characters in the wrong movie: thread
May 13, 2025 at 9:12 PM
fictional characters in the wrong movie: thread
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am i being a bridezilla? i was planning my reception from my home in the ocean just off of Odo Island when i was interrupted by a nuclear disaster. now i'm rampaging through Japan and my bridesmaids are all really mad at me
May 13, 2025 at 7:37 PM
am i being a bridezilla? i was planning my reception from my home in the ocean just off of Odo Island when i was interrupted by a nuclear disaster. now i'm rampaging through Japan and my bridesmaids are all really mad at me
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Ordered a Sex on the Beach, but the bartender says they're out of ingredients and the best he could do is a Dry Handjob at the YMCA
May 5, 2025 at 1:23 PM
Ordered a Sex on the Beach, but the bartender says they're out of ingredients and the best he could do is a Dry Handjob at the YMCA
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Friends with kids: They’re crazy. I’m tired all the time. My husband and I haven’t had sex in 3 months. My son has 9 birthday parties to go to this weekend. My daughter has 47 book reports due tomorrow. Dashtyn drew a penis with markers on the wall.
Also friends with kids: Why don’t you have kids?
Also friends with kids: Why don’t you have kids?
May 4, 2025 at 12:44 PM
Friends with kids: They’re crazy. I’m tired all the time. My husband and I haven’t had sex in 3 months. My son has 9 birthday parties to go to this weekend. My daughter has 47 book reports due tomorrow. Dashtyn drew a penis with markers on the wall.
Also friends with kids: Why don’t you have kids?
Also friends with kids: Why don’t you have kids?
This seems like if twitter had a vasectomy.
May 4, 2025 at 10:22 PM
This seems like if twitter had a vasectomy.
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Old macdonald's son: so what did my dad leave me?
Estate lawyer: [deep breath in]
Estate lawyer: [deep breath in]
May 4, 2025 at 12:11 AM
Old macdonald's son: so what did my dad leave me?
Estate lawyer: [deep breath in]
Estate lawyer: [deep breath in]
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You gotta love a squirrel just running around the zoo. The Bonus Animal
November 7, 2024 at 7:42 PM
You gotta love a squirrel just running around the zoo. The Bonus Animal
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I beg your pardon, I'm no mere "butt man", I'm a
May 3, 2025 at 7:01 PM
I beg your pardon, I'm no mere "butt man", I'm a
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*taps guy on shoulder at orgy*
Me: You gonna finish that?
*points to vagina*
Me: You gonna finish that?
*points to vagina*
April 30, 2025 at 2:17 AM
*taps guy on shoulder at orgy*
Me: You gonna finish that?
*points to vagina*
Me: You gonna finish that?
*points to vagina*
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I sleep with a bat under my bed in case someone breaks in and wants to learn about echolocation
December 25, 2024 at 6:36 AM
I sleep with a bat under my bed in case someone breaks in and wants to learn about echolocation
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Fact is, bustin' DOESN'T make me feel good. Ghosts are sad confused creatures, cruelly tied to this plane by a powerful nexus of pain and fury. It gives me no pleasure to hunt them, shoot them with beams, and trap them in a box. I hope they find some peace in there. But TBH, no one really knows.
May 1, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Fact is, bustin' DOESN'T make me feel good. Ghosts are sad confused creatures, cruelly tied to this plane by a powerful nexus of pain and fury. It gives me no pleasure to hunt them, shoot them with beams, and trap them in a box. I hope they find some peace in there. But TBH, no one really knows.
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THE VALUE OF THE U.S. DOLLAR: [goes down]
DJ KHALED: STOP THAT
DJ KHALED: STOP THAT
May 2, 2025 at 2:12 AM
THE VALUE OF THE U.S. DOLLAR: [goes down]
DJ KHALED: STOP THAT
DJ KHALED: STOP THAT
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if a being that combines organic and biomechatronic body parts skips its antidepressants it becomes a sighborg.
May 2, 2025 at 7:59 PM
if a being that combines organic and biomechatronic body parts skips its antidepressants it becomes a sighborg.
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Should be a conclave for smaller decisions like interior design and bird of the year
May 2, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Should be a conclave for smaller decisions like interior design and bird of the year
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I bet a plane crashing into a house feels so good for the house
May 3, 2025 at 1:45 AM
I bet a plane crashing into a house feels so good for the house
I really appreciate how much squirrels mind their own business.
May 3, 2025 at 12:41 PM
I really appreciate how much squirrels mind their own business.
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date: i love an educated man are you familiar with Chekhov's work?
me: yes i am i fucking love Star Trek
me: yes i am i fucking love Star Trek
April 28, 2025 at 2:25 PM
date: i love an educated man are you familiar with Chekhov's work?
me: yes i am i fucking love Star Trek
me: yes i am i fucking love Star Trek
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soft sciences are for weenies... gimme some of that rock hard, throbbing science
April 28, 2025 at 8:02 PM
soft sciences are for weenies... gimme some of that rock hard, throbbing science
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therapist: pick your battles
me: okay gettysburg
me: okay gettysburg
April 27, 2025 at 9:58 PM
therapist: pick your battles
me: okay gettysburg
me: okay gettysburg