ASEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS 🏳️⚧
@skeiser.bsky.social
40 y/o ND she/they aspec/arospec transfemme in Philly.
Standup comic and freelance writer for hire.
Obscure references make the Sue Keiser Difference™.
Needless to say, 18+, MDNI
susantkeiser@gmail.com
Standup comic and freelance writer for hire.
Obscure references make the Sue Keiser Difference™.
Needless to say, 18+, MDNI
susantkeiser@gmail.com
Reposted by ASEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS 🏳️⚧
where does a country with literally zero standards draw the line
November 13, 2025 at 7:37 AM
where does a country with literally zero standards draw the line
Reposted by ASEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS 🏳️⚧
Reposted by ASEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS 🏳️⚧
The Simpsons? Cowards.
Now, Pete and Pete? They'll tell you their true, fake location.
Now, Pete and Pete? They'll tell you their true, fake location.
November 12, 2025 at 6:22 PM
The Simpsons? Cowards.
Now, Pete and Pete? They'll tell you their true, fake location.
Now, Pete and Pete? They'll tell you their true, fake location.
Reposted by ASEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS 🏳️⚧
Reposted by ASEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS 🏳️⚧
"According to numerous reports, your 'guidance' has essentially been limited to the following: 'We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.' This is not sound career advice, Mr. Vonnegut."
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/you...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/you...
Your Services As Guidance Counselor Are No Longer Required, Mr. Vonnegut
Dear Mr. Vonnegut, As principal of Stephen R. Perry High School, it is with regret that I inform you that, after considerable reflection and numero...
www.mcsweeneys.net
November 11, 2025 at 6:25 PM
"According to numerous reports, your 'guidance' has essentially been limited to the following: 'We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.' This is not sound career advice, Mr. Vonnegut."
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/you...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/you...
The Democratic response to this Trump news is to get Kendrick to run for President in 2028.
Sadly, it will be 2036 Kenrick.
Sadly, it will be 2036 Kenrick.
November 12, 2025 at 5:48 PM
The Democratic response to this Trump news is to get Kendrick to run for President in 2028.
Sadly, it will be 2036 Kenrick.
Sadly, it will be 2036 Kenrick.
Reposted by ASEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS 🏳️⚧
I don't know when Moulton got bonked on the head and had his dipshit node damaged, but if TV has taught me anything it's that we need to make sure he doesn't get bonked again or he'll revert back to his old self
Seth Moulton went on MSNBC and straight up said "the president is a pedophile" and refused to walk it back even after the hosts kept trying to equivocate.
House Dems don't give a *fuuuck.*
House Dems don't give a *fuuuck.*
November 12, 2025 at 5:45 PM
I don't know when Moulton got bonked on the head and had his dipshit node damaged, but if TV has taught me anything it's that we need to make sure he doesn't get bonked again or he'll revert back to his old self
I hope Trump burns in a different Hell than this one.
November 12, 2025 at 5:42 PM
I hope Trump burns in a different Hell than this one.
Fundamentalist Christians are so eager to restart Armageddon, when the technology to create Biblically Accurate Angels is much closer to our fingertips than we could've ever imagined.
"Scientists at the University of Nottingham have developed a new protein-based gel that can restore tooth enamel by mimicking the body’s natural growth processes."
Goodbye, Cavities? Scientists Just Found a Way to Regrow Tooth Enamel
Scientists at the University of Nottingham have developed a new protein-based gel that can restore tooth enamel by mimicking the body’s natural growth processes. A newly developed material has been us...
scitechdaily.com
November 10, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Fundamentalist Christians are so eager to restart Armageddon, when the technology to create Biblically Accurate Angels is much closer to our fingertips than we could've ever imagined.
On one hand, Christine Pelosi's mom is Nancy Pelosi. On the other hand, Chrisine Pelosi's father-in-law directed THE RIGHT STUFF.
November 10, 2025 at 9:06 PM
On one hand, Christine Pelosi's mom is Nancy Pelosi. On the other hand, Chrisine Pelosi's father-in-law directed THE RIGHT STUFF.
yeah fuck this shit; that's all I'm going to say about the Dems selling out the ACA and I'm going to try to distract myself for the rest of the night.
November 10, 2025 at 5:00 AM
yeah fuck this shit; that's all I'm going to say about the Dems selling out the ACA and I'm going to try to distract myself for the rest of the night.
Destroying the original USFL earned Trump a ninth circle of Hell invite from me but Christ, we're on to at least the 26th circle by now.
November 9, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Destroying the original USFL earned Trump a ninth circle of Hell invite from me but Christ, we're on to at least the 26th circle by now.
I mean, everyone believes it's possible now, almost to the point of actively praying for it.
Hey so Michael Burry (the dude Christian Bale plays in The Big Short) just took out a billion dollar short bet against a few HUGE Ai companies…………
Reminder that he made mega bank betting on the housing market to fail back in 2008. No one believed that was even possible at the time.
Reminder that he made mega bank betting on the housing market to fail back in 2008. No one believed that was even possible at the time.
November 9, 2025 at 7:44 PM
I mean, everyone believes it's possible now, almost to the point of actively praying for it.
I just assume the Karp they're talking about is the Tumblr guy.
theres a whole category of newstertainment thats gotta go. and its "ask a really rich freak who is also evil and directly stealing from you what hes seen on the computer lately that has made him feel bad." the only -- ONLY -- story about this guy worth exploring is: he is getting rich spying on you
November 9, 2025 at 7:33 PM
I just assume the Karp they're talking about is the Tumblr guy.
I'm proud of every hacky @stoutlanduwu.bsky.social joke I make, but I'm so proud of this one, I had to take a few weeks off just to craft it perfectly.
bsky.app/profile/did:...
bsky.app/profile/did:...
The Affini had won the war against the Terrans. It was an uneasy peace, one held together by the Affini's sole demand: to own an AFC South franchise.
And that's how the Texans became under the control of the Houston Domestication Guide.
And that's how the Texans became under the control of the Houston Domestication Guide.
November 9, 2025 at 7:22 PM
I'm proud of every hacky @stoutlanduwu.bsky.social joke I make, but I'm so proud of this one, I had to take a few weeks off just to craft it perfectly.
bsky.app/profile/did:...
bsky.app/profile/did:...
I just assume that $5000 was really fucking sexy and that's why Luis Ortiz and Emmanuel Clase did it.
November 9, 2025 at 7:17 PM
I just assume that $5000 was really fucking sexy and that's why Luis Ortiz and Emmanuel Clase did it.
Finally starting to climb out of my major dysphoric episode. Still want All The Surgeries and everything, but I'm working on things and meeting myself where I'm at.
November 9, 2025 at 6:48 PM
Finally starting to climb out of my major dysphoric episode. Still want All The Surgeries and everything, but I'm working on things and meeting myself where I'm at.
As Emma Goldman once said, "If I can't complain about an amorphous definition of liberalism defined exactly by what bothers me, I won't join your revolution."
November 9, 2025 at 6:41 PM
As Emma Goldman once said, "If I can't complain about an amorphous definition of liberalism defined exactly by what bothers me, I won't join your revolution."
Ambivalent towards Stepfordization as a fetish because I'd much rather be transformed into a fembot than killed and replaced with a fembot.
November 9, 2025 at 10:50 AM
Ambivalent towards Stepfordization as a fetish because I'd much rather be transformed into a fembot than killed and replaced with a fembot.
I've been doing a long-term Oscar Best Picture nominee watch, and HOPE & GLORY, MAD MAX: FURY ROAD, and THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL are the best three I first saw this year.
Outside of that, it's the Philadelphia classic THE WATERMELON WOMAN.
Outside of that, it's the Philadelphia classic THE WATERMELON WOMAN.
What is the best movie not from this year that you’ve seen this year? Bonus points if you say why
November 9, 2025 at 10:17 AM
I've been doing a long-term Oscar Best Picture nominee watch, and HOPE & GLORY, MAD MAX: FURY ROAD, and THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL are the best three I first saw this year.
Outside of that, it's the Philadelphia classic THE WATERMELON WOMAN.
Outside of that, it's the Philadelphia classic THE WATERMELON WOMAN.
As a millennial FUCK YOU, I PREFER "TUSK"
November 9, 2025 at 8:09 AM
As a millennial FUCK YOU, I PREFER "TUSK"
Reposted by ASEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS 🏳️⚧
When Sam Houston wins
November 9, 2025 at 6:43 AM
When Sam Houston wins
Way to go, Oregon State. You lost to Jake "The Snake" Roberts' less talented brother.
November 9, 2025 at 6:34 AM
Way to go, Oregon State. You lost to Jake "The Snake" Roberts' less talented brother.
Oregon State is losing to Matt Houston.
November 9, 2025 at 6:20 AM
Oregon State is losing to Matt Houston.
Watching a CFL game from 1982 off of YouTube. Giving myself cirrhosis by taking a shot every time they say "Zenon Andrushysyn".
November 8, 2025 at 8:38 AM
Watching a CFL game from 1982 off of YouTube. Giving myself cirrhosis by taking a shot every time they say "Zenon Andrushysyn".